Chapter 20 #3
“Gladly,” I state as I pull back from the hug, which Asmodeus seems horrified by. I almost feel a little bad, but are we just going to hug here forever when we didn’t even pay?
“Guys… guys, don’t leave. The ball is unsteady. The second I let go with my mind, it starts rolling,” Landon says. “Guys, help! Anyone have like… superglue or something?”
“You think superglue is going to solve this mess?” I ask as Asmodeus pulls away enough to begin walking toward the exit.
I sigh and decide I’ll help. So we all get down on our knees and watch while Landon rotates it until we find the exact spot it’s meant to sit. He sets it down, and it must stay because he beams at us.
“We did it, guys. We came, we conquered, we’re going to pretend there’s not a bullet hole in it…
those kinds of things. Let’s get out of here,” Landon says, so we head out and over to where Patricia has somehow talked her way out of a ticket.
The police officer is walking toward his cruiser and is almost in it when Asmodeus jerks me out of the way as the giant ball of yarn whips past us and smashes right into the side of the cruiser.
The windows shatter and the ball leaps into the air and slams down right on top of the cruiser, caving the roof in before rolling to a stop in front of the building where the owner is busy selling nuts.
Patricia just quietly gets in her vehicle and starts driving, leaving all of the SAVCGEM members to race after her. Thankfully, there are a couple of people inside who push the doors open, allowing us to dive into the SUV as she takes off.
Baker wipes a hand across his forehead. “That was thrilling.”
“Hey, Landon,” Asmodeus says.
“What’s that?”
He points out the back window. “Isn’t that your brother?”
I watch while Brandon races after the car, running as fast as his legs will carry him with the police officer right behind him.
“Mom, I think we forgot somebody,” Landon says.
“It’s okay, his father’s back there with him,” she responds.
“We left Dad too?” Landon asks.
“He went in to get me some nuts,” Patricia says. “Which I was hoping to snack on during the drive home. Dammit.”
She whips the SUV in a U-turn and heads back toward them.
“I’m sure he’s written the license plate down by now,” I comment.
“I hope he has. I stole it off my bitch coworker’s car. I’d love to see her arrested,” Patricia says, quite delighted by the idea.
“Mom, you’re going pretty fast to pick up Brandon,” Landon observes before we whip on by him and head for Mark, who is standing in the parking lot looking exceptionally confused. Patricia slows the SUV down.
“Here, give me the nuts so you can get the door open,” she says as she holds her hand out the open window. He hands them over and she takes off.
“Patricia, you forgot me!” Mark yells.
“Mom, we forgot Dad,” Landon calls out, as if Patricia might not have noticed.
“He told me he was going to sacrifice himself to slow the cop down,” she says.
“Did he? I swear that’s not what he said,” Landon states. “Are we at least slowing down for Brandon?”
“If I hit him and he goes up on the windshield, do you think you guys could grab him before he slides off the hood?”
“I know he can’t get hurt, but that sounds a bit brutal, Mom. Even for you.”
Patricia tsks. “Fine, fine. Open the hatch. I suppose we’ll let him in.”
“Why the hell is it opening while you’re driving? It shouldn’t open while the vehicle is in motion!” Landon cries.
By this point, Mark has caught up with the police officer and seems to be having a conversation with the confused man.
“Landon, give me your hand!” Brandon shouts.
Landon looks perplexed by this request. “Who do you take me for? These arms have a weight limit of Zacia and books! You’ll pull me right out of the car!”
“Help me!”
“I’ll help you, bro,” Asmodeus says, shoving Landon forward so that Brandon can latch on to him. The issue is that Brandon is a big guy and Landon… Landon would definitely fit more in the “sits on the couch and reads books” category.
Landon is whipped out as he grabs Asmodeus who grabs me and then suddenly we’re all stumbling and falling out of the SUV.
Thankfully, Patricia wasn’t going too terribly fast, so Asmodeus lands perfectly on his feet, keeping Landon and me from face-planting.
“Landon!” August cries after him while Patricia zooms off with August still in the vehicle.
Landon tries running two steps before he just gives up. “Go on… without me.”
“I don’t think she has any problem with that,” I say as I watch August jump out before the SUV keeps going.
“Fuck… how do we get home?” Landon asks.
I glance at him. “You remember that one time you lifted our vehicle into the air?”
“Oh damn, I do,” Landon says before he stops the fleeing SUV with his hand. He draws it back to us and walks around to the driver’s door. “Were you going to leave me?”
“Sure was,” Patricia says, and I can hear her still revving the engine.
Landon tsks. “Not even a hint of remorse.”
“I never regret my decisions.”
The police officer has finally caught up as he wheezes and waves his badge around, like we might not have believed he was a real cop after all of this.
“Get… out of… the vehicle,” he pants out.
August pulls his mask off and smiles at the guy, who immediately recognizes him. “I’m so sorry we have inconvenienced you significantly. Superheroes United—”
“We are actually here on superhero business,” Landon cuts in. “We are working undercover and trying to blend in with this group of strangers who are not related to me in any way.”
“I… I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you,” the officer says to August.
“It’s okay! We will reimburse you and put in a good word with your boss for the work you’ve done,” August tells him.
The man seems to puff up his chest a bit as I hurry toward the SUV, not wanting to be an accomplice in any of this.
I get in, hoping to have a prime spot where I don’t have to straddle any thighs.
Asmodeus sees me and then hovers around until everyone else is in the vehicle before going, “Oh no… there’s no room for me. ”
And then he crawls onto my lap.
“Am I supposed to hold you?” I ask.
“Hold me, choke me, whatever strikes your fancy,” he says as his finger pushes my sleeve up a little. Why is he so fascinated by them? They’re…
I stare down at my arm where he’s managed to push the sleeve up to show a hint of my tattoo.
I decide to go for a headlock and pin him down. “We are all criminals now,” I declare. “You guys have made me a criminal.”
“Welcome to the dark side,” Landon says.
August nods approvingly. “I like it here.”
“The funds from Superheroes United should not go toward your family’s fuckups. The funds are supplied by tax—”
“Deus, please, his rambling about legalities is making me feel uncomfortable, make him stop,” Landon whines.
Asmodeus leans back and beams at me. “I refuse to tamp down any of my husband’s joys in life.”
“We are not married,” I say.
“You two are so sweet!” Brandon exclaims. “You should have invited me to the wedding!”
“We aren’t married,” I repeat.
Asmodeus is not deterred. “We are at heart.”
“That’s how I met my wife,” Baker says. “In the arms of another man.”
I look at him, not quite sure what this has to do with anything, but he’s not done as he continues, “She told me she’d only consider a date with me if I showed my strength. I beat that little fucker up. Made him cry… those were the good ol’ days.”
“Doesn’t have to be in the past,” Asmodeus says. “I would happily beat up some random stranger for you to bring a smile to your face.”
“No, you wouldn’t!” I haul him down so he’s forced to look at me. “You are now a superhero of this city. People look up to you, they watch you, and they need to know that you are the good guy.”
His blue eyes fixate on mine and I’m reminded of Henrik claiming they’re his sister’s eyes. I have so many questions, but I know Asmodeus will tell me when he feels ready to.
“I’m not here to be a hero,” Asmodeus says, “and I’m not here to have others look at me in any way. I wouldn’t give a shit if the whole world hated me; I only care about keeping the people safe who drew me out of that hell.”
I think everyone is startled by this. So I release the choke hold and pat him on the head, making him look absolutely thrilled. He tilts his head back and beams at me while I question what the fuck I’m doing.
Because whenever I close my eyes, I see death, and I know that I can’t let it happen again.
“It’s weird how far you’ve come, NoTouchy. At first, all I saw was a slaughterer of books,” Landon says.
August’s eyes narrow. “You like… fully skim over all the people he actually killed in that forest the day he joined us. It’s strange how the only life you seem to remember is—”
“My book. My beloved book. I mourn his loss daily. I have built a shrine where his replacement sits untouched and never as loved as the first version.”
“Y’all say I’m the weird one,” Asmodeus comments.
“I’m the normal one,” Lex says. “Landon… I think… we should… probably like… practice my fire at the Superheroes United facility tomorrow…”
“Where Nolan is, you mean?” Landon asks.
Lex glares at him. “No. I want to practice with my fire.”
“With Nolan watching. Do you think it’d help if he held you like Jack held Rose on the Titanic? Do you think your fire would listen then?”
“I’m burning your clothes off again tomorrow.”
“Good, I like being naked. Please burn them off August too. And I’m sure you’re going to be trying your hardest to burn Nolan’s off.”
“It’ll be good for you to work on your fire,” I say.
Lex smiles at me, ignoring Landon. “Thank you!”
“Don’t be nice to others. Husband, you make me jealous,” Asmodeus says.
I pull on his hair since he doesn’t deserve any more pats. “Stop spouting shit.”
He smiles brightly. “I’ll consider it.”
Thankfully, we somehow make it to Landon’s, and I question why we rode in this cramped-as-fuck SUV for an hour and a half just to look at a ball of yarn. Yet somehow… I had fun. It distracted me from the mess that is my life.
I head to my car and look over at Asmodeus, really hoping the most ridiculous adventure we’ve ever been on was enough of a distraction for him.
He’s busy holding Landon’s hands, which seems to confuse the man.
“Farewell, my guys. I miss you already,” Asmodeus proclaims. “My demons will safeguard you.” He then proceeds to swipe his thumb across Landon’s cheeks and forehead. “Ah, your soul is black. Nice.”
“August, I am uncomfortable but also feel kind of special,” Landon says.
“You are welcome,” Asmodeus responds before stopping in front of Lex. Lex pulls his wig off and sets it on Asmodeus’s head. “I feel beautiful.”
“You look beautiful,” Lex says while I question how Asmodeus is pulling off this wig.
“I am unable to accept being this pretty,” he says as he turns to look at me, obviously planning to stick the wig on my head. I allow it for all of one minute while Landon cackles like a fiend before I plop it on his head and get in the car.
Asmodeus gets into the passenger seat and I start driving.
I ask him, “Did you enjoy that?”
“My favorite part was when the yarn ball smashed into the police car. Did you see the way those windows exploded?”
“Of course it was.”
“I was going to head home, since you don’t actually need me, but it’s getting kind of late so I thought maybe I’d go home tomorrow instead,” he says.
I glance at the clock and see that it’s only four. “Good plan.”
“Thank you.”
When we reach my house, I get out of the car, but the second Asmodeus is out, he turns. “Get in the house.”
“What?”
He rushes to my side and pushes me back as I look in the direction he’s staring and get a bad feeling. I don’t see anything, but Asmodeus did.
And I know that things are about to go very, very wrong.