Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
DEUS
Ellison is sitting ramrod straight in front of the TV. We were watching a movie, but that long since ended and some obnoxious children’s show came on right after. He’s staring at it, but I’m confident that he’s seeing nothing on the TV.
Nolan and Lex are sitting on the couch while Nolan reads and Lex plays on his phone. After we spent a large part of the morning working on Nolan controlling Aspen, we decided to watch a movie to give Nolan and Ellison a break.
“No wonder he can put up with you if he can put up with this TV show,” Landon says to me.
My eyes slowly shift to his. “I don’t want to hurt you, my friend, but I will.”
Landon gasps. “I will have my boyfriend beat you up! You hear me? I will have him…” And then he does some strange karate chop thing that I catch before using his feeble momentum to swing him around and lock his arms behind his back.
“You… little… shit,” he hollers, trying to escape my hold.
When he discovers he can’t, I see an empty cardboard box flying toward my head.
I pretend I don’t notice it, and then at the last possible second, I slide him right in front of it.
It smashes into his chest as his head slowly turns around to look at me.
“You… you monster. August, assassinate the monster!”
“Hon, I don’t think it’s a good idea to assassinate your friends,” August says as he examines his lucky doll for an empty space to put a pin. The pin is poised but there appears to be a lack of available spaces, which he seems to be disappointed by.
“Would you like me to make you another?” I ask. “I must first sacrifice the detestable attitude of this underling. Better yet, he will supply the hair for it.”
I snatch up a pair of scissors, which makes Landon look at me in horror. “Don’t. You. Dare.”
“Do you not want August to have a beautiful doll of you?” I ask.
“But… my beautiful hair.”
“It’ll grow back, but what won’t grow back if you refuse August this doll is the hole in his precious heart.”
“It’s… I think I’d rather Landon keep his hair,” August says.
“I will do it for my one true love. Make me bald,” Landon declares as he bows his head. I grab a big lock and slide my scissors around it, but before I can cut down, Ellison jerks back.
“Aspen’s noticed him there,” he says.
I drop my hold on Landon’s hair, deciding I’ll sacrifice it for a greater good on the morrow, slip the scissors in my pocket (in case I find time to cut his hair later), and cram my feet into my shoes.
“What do you mean?” Lex asks.
“I mean that he’s planning on attacking my father,” Ellison says.
“So like… where do you guys want to go for lunch?” I ask.
Ellison slowly looks over at me. “I understand that you hate my father… I do too. But I can’t let El kill him. If I do, we’ll be feeding the fanatics who think that supers are monsters. I’m just going to go… get my father out of the situation until we can figure out a way to get rid of El.”
“Fine, fine, fine,” I say, preparing to follow him.
“No, you guys are staying here. Nolan and I will go alone. He’s going to control El and I’m going to get my father out,” Ellison decides. “Nolan, make sure you grab a mask so no one can identify you.”
“I sure as fuck am not staying here. I understand if you don’t want these other peasants to join our journey, but I’m in it until death do us part.”
“Did you two get married and not invite us or something?” Landon asks. “Because I really wanted to crash your wedding.”
“I don’t even know if we’re dating. I think we are, but he’s never actually asked,” Ellison says.
“We skipped dating and did a wedlock blood pact,” I explain.
“Was I asleep for it?” Ellison asks.
“Details are for desperate people.”
“What does that mean?”
“Shhhh,” I say before hurrying out to the SUV. “We really need to acquire a super who knows how to fly and can carry each of us at once or teleport us or something. Why can’t any of you do that?”
“Why can’t you?” Landon asks.
“Because if I gained any more awesomeness, there’d be no reason for the rest of you… besides Ellison.”
“I want to punch you a little bit but not fully,” Landon says.
“You’re frightened of me. Good.”
He smacks me and then runs for the SUV with terror in his eyes. I just smile and stalk after him, which weirdly makes him more nervous.
Just the way I like it.
August gets into the driver’s seat and Landon gets in the front, so I slide in behind him.
“You should never turn your back to your enemy,” I whisper in his ear. Ellison, Nolan, and Lex cram in with us even though the SUV only seats five passengers.
“August, why must we be friends with this man?” Landon asks.
“He’s a good guy. I like him,” August says, throwing the car in reverse before Lex is even seated.
This tosses Lex onto Nolan’s lap as he goes, “Oh no… I’m falling!”
“Let me help you,” I say while I guide him to the floor.
“Dammit, Deus!” he snaps as he battles my hands. Honestly, he’s struggling today, and I feel like it’s only eighty percent my fault.
“You okay?” Nolan asks, which is what Lex has been waiting for. He does a hair flip and a hand wave.
“Oh, you know me!”
“I’m just so relieved that we finally have someone who can help control El,” Ellison says as he looks at Nolan. “I really hope it works.”
“I’ll need time to focus. It isn’t instant like it usually is, but I’m confident I can do it,” Nolan replies. “After we practiced with Aspen last night and today, I got a pretty good feel for it.”
Ellison smiles and I can practically see the relief radiating off him. I’m glad he’s relieved to have Nolan here, but I still feel like this could be handled another way.
“I’m not jealous at all that Nolan is your savior,” I grumble.
And that’s the moment the SUV slams into something behind us so hard we’re thrown forward and nearly murdered.
“What the fuck!” Lex cries from where he’s really down at our feet now. Honestly, it was the best place for him since my face had gotten smashed against the seat where I’d been leaning forward to whisper more threats into Landon’s ear.
“I think you hit my brother,” Landon whispers.
“Just keep going,” I urge.
“LANDON! LANDON! I think you hit me with your car!” Brandon yells.
Landon rolls the window down. “You think? Or you know?” he calls back.
“Allow me,” I say as I lean forward and turn the back windshield wiper and sprayer on.
Landon cackles with glee when Brandon jerks back and sputters. “I remember now why I keep you around.”
“Thank you.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” August hisses, but Brandon just pops the hatch and clambers in.
“Strange… your hatch won’t close all the way; I’d definitely have that looked at. You know it’s unsafe to drive like that?”
“Can we go, please?” Ellison asks, so August begins to drive.
“Why did you jump behind the moving vehicle, Brandon?” Nolan asks.
“That’s a really good question that I don’t have a really good answer to.”
Landon turns back to look at Brandon. “How’d you find us, anyway?”
“Mom told me. She has a tracker on you.”
“She’s tracking my phone?” Landon asks in horror.
“I don’t know. Oh, is that where trackers go? Man… I thought she put one up your butt or something and I just thought that was a bit much, you know?”
“Why the fuck would our mother put a tracker up my ass, Brandon?” Landon asks.
Brandon must decide he’s not riding in the back because he starts climbing over the seats.
“There’s no room for you,” Nolan says as he tries to fight his brother, but he’s not strong enough to keep him away. “Stay back there.”
“It’s lonely back here,” he protests before falling onto his brother’s lap. Nolan curses when Brandon crushes his balls with his hand before flopping down onto Nolan and Lex.
“Whoops. Sorry, favorite brother,” he says.
“You don’t have to label him that!” Landon cries.
“It’s okay. You’re my third favorite brother,” Brandon says.
Landon gasps. “Do… do we have another brother I’m unaware of?”
“He’s counting himself,” Nolan explains. “He wants you aware that he loves me most, then himself, then you’re there in third place.”
“I see…” Landon says. “I let you crawl in naked with August and I’m still third?”
“Ooh, you’re right. August, you’re now third and Landon is fourth!”
“You are vicious. I like you,” I inform him.
“Thank you,” Brandon says. “You can be my brother too. You just have to like… marry Nolan or Landon or me…”
“He wouldn’t be your brother if he married you, Brandon,” Landon tells him.
“Good because no offense, but I don’t find men attractive.
Is that offensive? Like… I guess I’ve never tried it but when I watched porn Landon had up on his computer when we were younger, I just didn’t get it,” Brandon says.
“I’m sorry if that’s offensive. I like my girlfriend.
She’s so nice and sweet and pretty and we’re going to Disney World!
She told me to invite you guys, but I told her you guys would just do something weird. ”
“We are not the weird ones!” Landon protests. “What does it take for you to understand that?”
“What about that yarn ball?” Brandon asks.
“You are the one who broke it! We fixed it for you!”
“Huh. I forgot about that. I guess you guys can go, just… you have to behave.”
I smile. “We have to deal with this first and then I’m game.”
“Hopefully Nolan can help,” Ellison says quietly.
“I don’t think I’m allowed to go to Disney,” Nolan comments as he holds his leg up and gestures at the device on his ankle. “I’m under very strict restrictions.”
“I can break them off for you!” Brandon says, and just like that, he grabs the device and snaps it in half.
Nolan drops down like a rag doll, collapsing on my lap as we stare in shock while the realization hits us all that Brandon has just caused Nolan’s tranquilizer to go off.
“What the fuck?! He was the only one who could control my illusions!” Ellison cries as he reaches for Nolan.
“Boy, he must have been sleepy,” Brandon says. “You think he was that excited about going to Disney?”