Chapter 12
twelve
CADEN
“Hey, Cade, buddy. I hate to do this to you, but it’s super late,” rumbled a rough, deep voice.
The disembodied words penetrated the thick fog blanketing my mind. An electric pulse sizzled through my veins in response before settling just below my belly button to simmer.
Surrounded by a delicious scent, nestled next to a firm, warm pillow, I had no inclination to exit this unusually good dream.
No way in hell was I getting up before my alarm went off. I was going to lie here in this heaven until it was time to face another day of pushing my body to its limits.
A hot brand surrounded my shoulder, sending shivers through my body despite already being the perfect temperature. The deep pressure against my skin felt too good.
I struggled to move my arms, feeling my body heat with the added sensation. If I could just get the blanket off me a bit, I could stay in this exact position without overheating.
I rubbed my face against the soft pillow. The pleasant scent that had drifted into my dream intensified with my nose pressed into the fabric.
The heat in my veins had my cock filling, and I had the insane urge to turn onto my stomach and rut against the mattress to relieve my sudden arousal.
When had my bed gotten so goddamn comfortable that I could sink into it this way, let alone want to use it to get myself off before Coach’s too-damn-early practices?
A gentle shake to the same shoulder had my unwilling eyes opening halfway, and I gradually became more aware of my surroundings
Glancing to my right, the realization that I wasn’t asleep in my tiny room in Hawkins and Kovac’s apartment had me jolting upright.
Shit! Fuck! I was still in Ash’s office, and what I’d thought was my pillow was his muscled shoulder.
“And that’s when the three-eyed cat showed up.
Macie was super surprised, you know? Because when we got together, I promised her we could get a dog when we were ready for a pet.
And she said to me, ‘You knew I wanted a puppy, and you brought home this little creature with three eyes? Do you have any idea how expensive feline eyedrops are these days at the clinic? And now you want to have a cat that increases that expense by one-third? In this economy?’”
Jerked out of remembering the best/worst moment of my life, my gaze jumped back to Kait, where she sat across the table from me in the Tim Horton’s across the street from my building.
Even though she was on her way to a nursing seminar in Toronto, she’d left extra early to bring me my computer and share her exciting news.
Kait had moved in with her long-time girlfriend, Macie.
The only problem with the situation was that I had totally zoned out of what Kait had been saying.
My eyes roved over her face as my brain came back online from the all-too-frequent daydream-slash-nightmare that I’d dropped into more times than I could count over the past two weeks since I’d woken up with my cheek pressed against Ash’s bicep.
And that was before I found out he lived in the same fucking building as me.
Except Ash had one of the newly renovated penthouse units, which was probably double the size of Hawkins and Kovac’s apartment.
So, in addition to feeling embarrassed at practice and games—when I looked at his shoulder instead of his eyes as he gave instructions—I had the added bonus of imagining all the ways I could run into him in our building’s elevator or lobby.
I’d been taking the stairs, even after every grueling practice, just to lessen the chances of that happening.
I needed to focus on my best friend in front of me.
“I’m sorry. . .what? Did you say a three-eyed cat? I thought Macie was allergic?” The synapses in my brain felt stretched thin as my thoughts caught up with my ears.
Kait’s eyebrow arched loftily. It was a handy trick I’d tried to master in the mirror when I was younger. Since we’ve been friends forever, I knew what that looked meant. I was about to get an earful about my distractedness.
“Ohhh. . . so, you were listening just now? I thought I drove five hours to deliver Beep-Beep-Boop-Boop to you and you’d just it across from me, worrying about hockey,” she said, but not before sticking her tongue out to let me know she was teasing.
“My computer is not named Beep-Beep-Boop-Boop,” I argued half-heartedly.
“Well, it should be because that’s an ingenious, yet adorable, name.”
The tense muscles between my shoulder blades seized at her earlier words. Hockey had become an afterthought since that late afternoon in Ash’s office.
I was an adult. There was no reason for me to be stressing like I was some self-conscious teenager who couldn’t help but dwell on something that was mostly out of my control.
But could you have looked Ash in the eyes and turned down his kindness? The comfort that you are desperate to soak into your very cells every time you’re around him?
My brow furrowed at the thought of giving up those few precious hours alone in Ash’s company.
Kait’s gaze remained on my face as I struggled to form the right words to tell her what was going on.
The tips of my ears heated, which had me silently cursing the pale skin that came along with being a redhead. It revealed every thought and every embarrassment. I had to work hard to keep my emotions locked down so they wouldn’t show on my skin, let alone my face.
“Honestly, I’m not thinking about hockey,” I began.
She narrowed her eyes, indicating that she didn’t believe me, but refrained from saying anything.
That’s one of the things I loved about her.
She never rushed me to get my thoughts out.
And after years of living with my father, I was more used to keeping my mouth shut than forcing words to pass my lips.
“It’s actually about Ash,” I mumbled, unable to meet her eye. I opted to look down at the top of the scratched table instead.
“What do you mean?” she asked, her hands fisted where they sat on the table, as if she was going to run out of this restaurant to defend my honor.
“Is he being an asshole? Pulling some kind of ‘I’m hot shit because I signed a zillion-million-dollar contract with the Titans last year?’ Because you know I’m not afraid to go in there and give them a piece of my mind, no matter which hockey star they brought into drum up some extra hype for the team.
No one treats my best friend poorly. I don’t care if they are Willy-fucking-Wonka with a gold-plated ticket. Decency costs nothing.”
Her vehemence had a genuine smile tugging at the corners of my lips for the first time since that night.
I pressed my lips together to prevent a chuckle from coming out. She was so damn adorable when she got all fierce. It was easy to picture all five-foot-two of her in front of a wall of grown men with the power to decide many an AHL fate. They wouldn’t know what hit them.
I’d been at her back as she’d verbally thrashed bullies since elementary school. Turned out she didn’t need me that day in grade two, but liked me standing beside her, so she let me stay there all these years.
I hoped she never changed.
“No. Nothing like that at all. The total opposite, actually.” I glanced up to meet her gaze.
“I completely humiliated myself in front of him a couple of weeks ago, and I don’t even know how to behave now.
It makes practices and games pretty fucking awkward when he’s the offensive coach I’m supposed to be learning from and paying attention to.
Except now, I’m hiding at the back of a group of hockey players hoping he doesn’t notice me or call me out. ”
The confusing sensations swirled in my gut. Could embarrassment make a person delirious? Every time I thought about waking up on his shoulder, I felt as if I could pass out from light-headedness.
“Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?” Kait exclaimed, slapping one of her hands onto the table gently. “You know you can tell me anything. Macie says we need to surgically remove our phones from our hands at this point. So, it’s not as if I’m unavailable.”
“You’ve got your nursing courses. . .” I began. Kait had worked hard to afford her post-secondary degree. “And putting this mess into text seemed impossible.”
It was shitty of me to complain about playing in the AHL when so many Canadian kids literally ate, slept, and breathed all things hockey-related. How could I reconcile wanting to escape an opportunity so many athletes would kill for?
The guilt of wishing away my body’s natural abilities was sometimes crushing.
But even though her classes were a good excuse as to why I hadn’t mentioned it, the reality was that I’d been tied up in knots over my feelings about that night in Ash’s office.
That’s because a big part of you liked how you felt next to him on the ratty old leather couch, and you’re too chicken-shit to admit it. The area below my belly button trembled with that thought resurfacing.
“Listen, that’s horseshit, Caden. Yes, school is important. But when have I ever put anything before the people I love? Nannie, you, Macie, and now, my new three-eyed cat—” She barked a laugh at her own absurdity. “Will always take priority.” She winked.
Years of experience with her reactions had my shoulders relaxing. Her teasing tone let me know I was off the hook for keeping her out of the loop.
As much as I wanted to let her go on about the non-existent pet in her life, my thoughts homed in on part of her sentence.
“You love Macie?” I kept my eyes locked on her face to see if her expression would confirm her words.
“That is not the point here, but yes,” she replied primly, before sticking out her tongue for the second time in less than five minutes, and ruining her chastising tone.
“Don’t try to distract me. I know you don’t want to be here.
We’re talking about why I’m hearing all of this essential intel so late in the game. ”