Chapter Thirty
Sadie
I need to call June. I can’t stop that thought from overtaking the lingering feelings of satisfaction.
James is still inside me, soaking in our combined cum, and I’m thinking about calling my best friend.
The guilt for not telling her about this thing, whatever it is, with James came from nowhere.
Before, it wasn’t a lie out of malice, but an omission because I knew she didn’t like the idea of me getting involved with Saints business.
Then, after Tuesday, I didn’t know what to tell her.
But now, I know I have to. I’m not sure what James thinks this is, but it’s become too important to me to keep from my best friend.
“What’s going on?” James asks, tapping my forehead. How he knows all is not perfect in the mind of Sadie, I have no idea.
“I’m just happy,” I say. Which isn’t a lie but also doesn’t honestly answer his question.
He doesn't miss the avoidance. “And?” He shifts slightly so he can look down at me, the movement reminding both of us that we’re still connected. He lets out a quiet curse and I start to move, but he wraps his arms around me tighter.
“Don’t fucking move,” he practically growls.
“Soaking, huh?”
“I’m not ready to be separated from you.” It sounds like an admission, which is reinforced when he reverently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “What are you thinking about?”
How to say this without sounding obsessed and needy? I know James doesn’t date, and I don’t want to scare him off. But I also refuse to lie to him.
“Were you serious when you said I could tell June about… this?”
“I was under the impression girls told each other everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew how big Theo’s dick is.”
I turn my head so my chin is resting on his chest rather than my cheek, giving him a smirk. “Or that he has a Prince Albert?”
James frowns, which makes me chuckle. “Actually, I’m banning discussions of any other man’s dick when mine is inside you.”
“You brought it up.”
“Okay, well, back to the topic at hand. You can tell June anything you want. Why would you need my permission?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t know if you were okay with people knowing about…” I let the sentence trail off, unable to give words to this.
“About us?”
Relieved he said it, I nod.
“I have no intention of keeping you a secret from anyone in my life. The more people who know you’re mine, the better.”
“I’m yours, huh?”
“Baby, you’ve been mine for far longer than I think either of us realized. And I plan on keeping you for as long as you’ll let me. The idea of another guy ever touching you again makes me murderous.”
Pleasure at the new nickname races down my spine and straight to my core. “So, this is exclusive?” I haven’t been in an exclusive relationship since Carson. I figured if I start the relationship agreeing to see other people, then I would never have to feel the pain of being cheated on again.
But I don’t want anyone other than James. And I don’t want him to have anyone else. Even if that means risking betrayal all over again.
“Fucking yes, it’s exclusive.” The way he says it leaves no room for discussion, which he must realize sounds controlling, because his jaw clenches before he adds, “I mean, I’d prefer exclusivity. I don’t plan on being with anyone else, but I know I can’t tell you what to do with your body.”
My smile is full of affection for this man under me.
I inch forward to kiss him, which causes his dick to slip out of me.
He frowns at the loss, so I make sure to deepen the kiss, adding tongue in consolation.
After a longer make out session than I intended, I pull back for air and say, “I don’t want anyone else. ”
“Oh, thank God.” His hand tangles into my hair, and he yanks me down for another kiss, his teeth becoming involved now. My core tightens with fresh desire, even as his semen continues leaking from my cunt. I grind down, and James moans.
In a flash, he flips us, pinning me on my back.
He doesn’t hesitate before sliding down my body, leaving kisses and soft bites behind as he does.
Settling between my legs, he whispers, “All mine,” then starts feasting on me.
It doesn’t take long before my entire body is shaking from the onslaught and he shoves me off the edge with his tongue.
I don’t have the chance to relax before he picks me up and carries me to the bathroom.
He sets me on the counter, and I flinch at the cold marble against my skin.
James flips on the shower, turning it to the hottest setting, and holds his hand under the stream of water, waiting until it’s warm enough to carry me inside.
He lowers me to my feet, then his lips are instantly back on mine.
We kiss for a few minutes, during which time I feel him becoming fully erect again.
Pausing, he pulls back and looks pointedly down at his cock.
“Care to take care of that?”
Smiling, I ignore the habitual instinct to make a joke and instead drop to my knees and happily grab the base, angling the head in my direction. I lick the underneath of his length, tasting both him and the water soaking us. Then I take the head between my lips, sucking hard.
“Fuck!” James’s hips thrust forward, so I pull my head back, letting his cock drop from my mouth. I smirk at the disbelief on his face. “Don’t fuck with me, baby.”
“Like how you’re fond of fucking with me?”
“Sadie,” he says, his voice stifled and edged with warning. My thighs clench as arousal floods between my legs. “If you’re not sucking my cock like the eager slut you are in the next five seconds, then I will edge you for hours.”
The idea turns me on so much that I almost decide to defy him. But I’m too eager for him to win this battle of wills, so I return to his dick, licking the head before sliding his entire length down my throat.
Which is how James discovers I have no gag reflex.
“What the fuck,” he gasps.
I would smile if my mouth wasn’t full of cock. Instead, I swallow, and James jerks at the sensation.
“Baby, a missing gag reflex is something you tell a guy.”
Pulling back slowly, I let my teeth lightly graze the sensitive skin before his cock pops from my mouth. “And distract you from going down on me? I’m not an idiot.”
“Nothing could distract me from eating my favorite meal, but shit. This is every guy's fantasy.”
“That’s actually not true. Carter, my ex-fiancé, used to complain. He liked to hear girls gag on his cock.”
“What did I say about talking about other guys’ cocks while I'm inside you?”
“You’re technically not inside me.”
“You’re such a brat.” He shakes his head, sending water droplets flying. “Okay, new rule. No mentions of any other douchebag, especially of them touching you, while one or both of us is naked.”
“Should I be writing all these rules down?”
“Sadie?”
“Mm?”
“Shut the fuck up and suck my cock.”
An idea sparking, I lean further back on my heels, flashing him a look of pure brattiness. He glares down at me, probably anticipating what is about to come out of my mouth.
I bite my bottom lip, then raise one eyebrow. “Make me.”
James’s answering smirk is a clear warning.
In a blink, he has my wet hair wrapped in a fist and is tugging my head back.
An involuntary hiss parts my lips, and he uses the opening to his advantage, hooking two fingers onto my bottom teeth and pulling down.
He has to lean forward to keep my jaw open, so his whisper easily reaches my ears, despite the water still pelting down around us.
“When you’re on your knees, you’re my whore. My fuck toy to use however I want. And you obey. Understand?”
I nod quickly. He spreads his fingers to the corners of my mouth, giving my tongue more room to move, and says, “Words, baby.”
My answer is still slightly garbled but just as earnest. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. Safe word?”
“Venus.”
He gives a curt nod, removing his fingers from my mouth. “And if you can’t talk, two taps on my thigh.”
“Yes, sir.”
His hand tightens in my hair, sending sharp pain through my scalp.
Still, I groan and surreptitiously thrust forward half an inch, looking for any sort of stimulation.
Not missing the movement, James yanks my head further back, my neck straining now at the angle, and makes a tsking sound.
“Brats don’t get to come.” Then, without waiting for a response, he guides his cock back to my mouth, then shoves inside.
Now that James has taken over, I don’t have to do much but sit there with my mouth opened as wide as possible.
I relax my jaw and attempt to use my tongue, swirling it around the tip when he pulls back, then flattening it to the underside when he pushes in.
But for the most part, James simply holds me by the hair and thrusts in hard over and over.
Even without a gag reflex, it’s brutal. He’s holding nothing back, keeping a merciless pace.
His balls rhythmically slap my chin, and his grunting is broken by the occasional “Fuck,” “Yes, baby,” and “Such a good slut.”
Each muttered curse, pet name, or slightly degrading praise makes my clit throb with need. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to refrain from reaching between my legs to chase my own orgasm.
James fucks my face for so long that my jaw aches, pain radiates from my knees, and my throat starts feeling raw and bruised.
His hands have moved to either side of my head, holding my hair like handles to keep me completely still.
I blink up at him, water clinging to my eyelashes and mixing with the tears now streaming down my cheeks and drool on my chin.
He takes that moment to open his own eyes and look down at me.
He must like whatever he sees, because his hips stutter, breaking their rhythm.
“Sadie—” he gasps, a second before slamming into the hilt and climaxing. His dick pulses, and I swallow every drop of the bitter cum like it’s a delicacy. I stick my tongue out as he carefully pulls free and lick the tip.
Despite how much my knees hurt and my thighs are cramping, I don’t instantly move to stand up.
I stay where I am, peering up at the striking man above me, haloed by steam and the bathroom’s soft lighting.
He reaches down, grabs my arms, and pulls me to my feet.
My legs nearly buckle under my weight after so long kneeling, but he keeps his hold on me so I don’t fall.
Shoving the wet strands off my forehead, James stares at me as if searching for something.
Sensing this is a significant moment, I keep my mouth shut, letting his mind wander however it needs to.
Then his lips meet mine in a desperate kiss, like he’s claiming something he’s been looking for.
And because I’ve been looking for the exact same thing, I match the desperation with just as much passion.
~
After taking mercy on me and fingering me to another mind-numbing orgasm, James and I manage to actually clean ourselves.
I let him use all my fancy shampoos and soaps, even though the gesture is meaningless to him, because I read.
No one will be smelling like cheap soap in this house.
Then he joins me and Soot on our evening walk without prompting, his hand naturally holding mine the entire time.
“Okay, I have something serious to discuss with you,” I say while we wait for the crosswalk light to flash green.
His brows furrow. “Ominous.”
“It’s just… if this thing is going to continue, then we’re going to need to make some changes.”
His shoulders tense, and I almost laugh at his obvious discomfort. “You must be educated. We should sit down and make a list of movies and TV shows that you need to watch. Maybe some books too.”
He lets out a visible sigh of relief. “God, Sadie. You can’t start conversations like that.”
“Why?” I flash him a grin. “Scared of serious discussions?”
“Yes, that’s obviously what I meant,” he deadpans.
The crosswalk light changes, and we cross the street, Soot lumbering at my side without much energy. We’re nearly a mile into the walk, and the lazy shit is starting to drag. Thankfully, we’re not far from the apartment.
“I can’t keep seeing that blank look on your face when I talk.”
“Maybe make fewer references.”
“Or I could help you understand some of those references. What do you want to start with? The classics? Iconic shows from the 2000s? You seem like a guy who would appreciate Dean Winchester. Or what do you think about vampires? I’d love for you to meet Damon Salvatore.
Of course, there are the big shows. You know, Game of Thrones, Friends, Breaking Bad. ”
“That’s the drug one.”
I chuckle. “Yes, good job. But have you seen it?”
His frown deepens. “I’m busy.”
“Oh, I know!” I shout, ignoring him. Soot looks curiously up at me then almost immediately drops his gaze when I don’t give him attention. “We should do Sons of Anarchy and Fight Club. God definitely sprinkled some Jax Teller and Tyler Durden into the petri dish when she made you.”
“I’ve seen Fight Club. I’m not a total hermit, baby.”
My cheeks warm, which is due completely to the term of endearment. I like that he’s still using it, as if he always has.
“This is why we need a list. We’ll make one when we get back to the apartment. Then we can start watching when you have time. What about Saturday after your ride? I know you have church tomorrow.”
“Why can’t we start tonight?”
I pause, looking up at him with confusion. “It’s almost midnight.”
“So? You have a bedtime?”
“No. I just figured you’d want to go home to sleep.”
He scoffs. “I don’t sleep much these days. But if you want me to go, I will.”
“No, you don’t have to leave.” I say it too quickly, and he gives me a satisfied smirk, which disappears with my next question. “Why don’t you sleep?”
He shrugs. “I’ve struggled with insomnia for a while. It started after Shiloh…” he trails off, swallowing the obvious pain caused from remembering his niece. “Anyway, it’s gotten bad again this year. Stress from everything.”
Guilt fills my gut. I’m sure I’ve added to that stress plenty.
“But that’s not your problem. If you’re tired, I can go.” It’s obvious he’s trying to sound indifferent and that my answer doesn’t matter to him one way or another, but the way he licks his lip and avoids my eyes tells the truth.
“James?” I wait for him to look at me, then ask, “Will you stay the night? We can watch twenty-year-old TV shows, finish off my birthday cookies, and fuck as much as it takes for you to get some sleep.”
His smile could illuminate a five block radius. “If you insist, baby.”