Chapter Thirty-Two
Sadie
ME
What is everyone doing tonight?
ROSIE POSIE
Probably just watching a movie with V
MADAM EV
I have a feeling you’re about to tell me.
ME
Girls night? I have tea.
ROSIE POSIE
What flavor?
ME
The I might have a boyfriend flavor?
ROSIE POSIE
WHAT?
MADAM EV
Might?
ROSIE POSIE
WHO?
MADAM EV
You don’t know if you have one or not?
QUEEN OF MY HEART
You have my attention. Do I need to tell Theo I won’t be at church?
ME
That would be wise
Although he may already know
QUEEN OF MY HEART
Why would he know?
ROSIE POSIE
Again, I ask, WHO?
ME
????
QUEEN OF MY HEART
OH MY GOD.
NO.
I FUCKING KNEW IT.
ME
You knew nothing
QUEEN OF MY HEART
I DID. I FUCKING KNEW IT. He’s been acting SO WEIRD. HOLY SHIT SADIE!!!
MADAM EV
Would someone like to explain?
ROSIE POSIE
They hate us, Ev.
ME
Girls night and all will be revealed.
Your house, June?
QUEEN OF MY HEART
I texted Theo. I KNEW IT.
Yes my house
ASAP. I’ll be home by 4 today
And girls, it’s James.
Our very own Sadie is fucking the big bad James Hartley.
ROSIE POSIE
WHAT?!
*Jonah Hill Screaming Gif*
I have so much to say I can’t figure out what to say first
ME
Hold it all in until tonight.
QUEEN OF MY HEART
So you expect us to wait eight hours for any information?
This is a special kind of torture.
ME
*Zipped Lips Gif*
Grinning, I click my phone off, ignoring the pings as Rose and June continue to send texts demanding more information.
The store is slow, so I spend the next two hours working through daily chores while replaying the last twenty-four hours in a loop.
Remembering every moment with James keeps the smile plastered to my face and occasionally sends a pulse of desire between my legs.
When I can’t take it anymore, I return to the front counter and open my phone, preparing to text James. First, I skim the texts in the girls group chat. My laughter dies when I realize that Evelyn hasn’t texted once since June revealed my maybe-boyfriend is James.
Another criminal. And not just that, the very one who fights in the illegal matches that made her so worried all those months ago.
Biting my cheek, I pull up my texts with just her.
ME
Are you okay?
MADAM EV
I should be asking you that.
ME
Ev…
MADAM EV
I’m sorry. I’m not upset or anything like that. If you’re happy, I’m happy. I just worry.
ME
They’re good guys.
MADAM EV
I know.
But their world is dangerous.
I blink in confusion, staring down at the phone screen.
She knows? This isn’t at all how she reacted when June told us about Theo. Maybe she has finally started coming around to the idea of June, and now me, dating criminals.
I’m not going to complain about that. After all, fighting with my friends makes me feel physically nauseous, but I can’t help wondering why. What made her change her mind? She hasn’t spent any time with the Saints. In fact, I don’t think she’s ever even met them.
Before I can ask follow-up questions, a customer walks in, providing a much-needed distraction.
After that, I stay busy until an hour before closing, when I check the group chat to ensure the other three have agreed to girls night.
Evelyn has finally replied, confirming that she’ll be there, which is a relief.
Then a notification appears at the top of my screen, instantly tugging my lips up at the corner.
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
I hear you spilled the tea.
ME
Why is you using pop culture colloquialisms so hot?
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
Because you’re obsessed with me.
ME
Might I remind you which one of us pouted when I got out of bed this morning?
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
That wasn’t pouting. That was perfectly acceptable annoyance at being left with morning blue balls.
ME
Ah, yes. My apologies. You were very masculine with your pouting.
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
You love being a brat don’t you?
ME
Are you going to spank me?
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
No, you’d enjoy that too much. I think I’ll tie you to my bed and stuff your cunt and ass with app-operated vibrators then leave you there all day. I’ll be able to play with you without even being in the house. You’ll be sobbing and begging to come by the time I get back.
ME
Promises, promises.
HARTLEY. JAMES HARTLEY.
Have fun with the girls.
And don’t bother locking your door tonight.
Pocketing my phone, I look around the shop.
Upon seeing it empty, I hurry back to my office, close and lock the door, and drop on my couch.
I unbuckle my pants and shove my hands in my soaked underwear.
Gasping, my hips lift off the couch at the first touch of my fingers on my clit.
I alternate between pumping inside and rubbing my clit, imagining it’s James’s hand the whole time.
It doesn’t take long to climax, then I fall limp against the couch, a blush filling my cheeks even though I’m completely alone.
Well, I guess I can mark masturbating at work off my sexually deviant bucket list.
~
I’m not fully inside June’s house before she’s barraging me with questions. Laughing, I scootch past her and head to the kitchen to set the bottle of wine on her counter.
“Shouldn’t we wait for the girls?” I ask, retrieving her wine opener.
“Ev won’t be here for another hour!” she complains.
“Then I guess we better come up with something else to talk about for an hour.”
As Rose arrives five minutes later, that becomes easy.
After her first few James-related questions go unanswered, she happily changes the subject to some art show she went to with ‘the gays,’ which is what she calls her friends from the LGBTQ support group she joined when she and Maple moved to Tucson five years ago.
We settle in June’s living room, me and June with glasses of wine, and Rose with lemon water because Vanessa found a new cleanse to try.
She’s mid-sentence when Evelyn walks in, causing her to abruptly end her story and turn her attention to me.
“Okay! Spill.”
I laugh. “Shouldn’t we order dinner first?”
“Uhm, Miss Oblivious,” Ev says, raising two plastic bags in the air. “I already picked it up.”
“‘Course you did.” I shake my head, still grinning at them. “Alright, let’s do this.”
Evelyn settles in the armchair across from us and starts unloading the food.
While she passes out containers, I talk, starting with the day I rushed to Theo’s house after getting a text from Luna.
However, instead of saying that James and I agreed to work together to help our best friends with their murderous gang problems, I frame it as if we simply bonded over seeing our formerly relationship-averse friends fall in love.
By the way June watches me, I know she catches the story alteration, but of course, she says nothing.
She knows about my failed attempt to date Bowie to spy on the South Five, and I’m confident she’d agree that Rose and Ev don’t need to know about the questionable aspects of our relationships.
“We got into a fight and didn’t talk for a while. Then on Tuesday, he stormed into Seedling Sanctuary and… well. You know.” I shrug, my cheeks burning.
“No, we do not know!” Rose says. “Come on, I need details worthy of a Sadie Oliver story.”
I’ve always enjoyed oversharing with the girls.
Part of me expected for that to change with James, but it doesn’t.
Instead, I’m more excited than ever to tell them all about how skilled he is in the bedroom.
I tell them about his dirty texts and how insatiable he can be.
I explain his sexy possessiveness and dominance yet complete respect for me.
The only thing I keep to myself is the more emotional stuff, like the details of our fight and him crying in my office.
I have no problem demonstrating for them how big his dick is, but sharing his fear of getting attached then losing me?
Or one of the Saints? That’s too personal.
“Sounds to me like you’re together,” Evelyn says after I finish with James leaving my apartment this morning. “So why did you say you might have a boyfriend?”
I shrug. “We didn’t really talk about labels.”
“But you agreed to be exclusive,” Rose says.
“Yeah.”
“And you plan to keep seeing him?” Ev asks.
“Definitely.”
They exchange a look, then Rose says, “He’s your boyfriend, babe.”
I roll my lips together, unsure why I’m so reluctant to agree. Then June speaks, and it makes so much sense I mentally kick myself.
“For guys like James and Theo, the terms boyfriend and girlfriend mean nothing. Beyond agreeing on exclusivity, they don’t care about labels. Not until the most important one.”
“Ol' lady,” I provide.
She nods. “It’s more than just being his girlfriend.
If he asks you to be his ol' lady, it’s a big deal.
And if you accept, you’re agreeing to more than simply dating James.
You’re agreeing to be part of the Saints.
There’s nothing more important to them. And as VP, it’ll be even more intense.
Take it from someone who thought she knew what she was getting into—it’s all-consuming. ”
We’re all quiet before Rose whistles and mutters, “Very dramatic.”
June chuckles. “It is. Especially with that lot.”
“Good thing you already like the Saints,” Rose says, facing me.
I nod, my mouth suddenly feeling dry.
“Is that what you want?” Evelyn asks. “To be his ol' lady?”
I want to shout yes, of course that’s what I want. But something holds the words back. Some deep-rooted insecurity. Or cowardice.
The last several weeks have been… a lot. If I’m with James, it’ll be like that all the time.
I told him I choose this. And I did. I do.
So why can’t I say that out loud?
“It’s okay if you don’t,” June says, resting her hand on my knee. “But you should decide soon, because knowing James, he won’t want to do this half-heartedly.”