Chapter Forty #2
“The clubhouse,” I say. “You ready?”
He shakes his head. “But we gotta go anyway.”
Without another word, we head out to our bikes and make the quick ride to the clubhouse. Once there, I tell Theo to wait in the garage, knowing he’ll be more likely to lose his temper. He doesn’t argue and instantly starts pacing while he waits.
The first thing I see inside the house makes me want to commit patricide. My fucking father is standing in the living room, laughing with two of my guys. Axel and Lyle don’t know what he did, of course, but seeing them be so casual with Rocket still fills me with rage.
At my entrance, the three men turn to face me. Instantly, Rocket deflates.
“James, hey! Your dad is awesome,” Axel says. Sometimes I forget several of our members have never even met the man.
I turn my glare to Rocket, who straightens his shoulders but only barely manages not to drop his gaze.
Fucking coward.
“Garage,” I spit out the word, then turn and rush out without waiting for a response or to see if he follows.
He does, of course. I feel him walking behind me more than hear him.
Theo snaps his attention to us when we walk into the garage, muscles tightening and brows pulling together. I stop in front of him, hear Rocket stop behind me, and take a deep breath.
Then I turn, swinging my fist out as I move. My knuckles connect with Rocket’s jaw, which was probably already tender from Theo’s punch, and the force has him staggering backward several feet. I shake out my hand, then cross my arms, waiting for him to spit out blood and face us again.
“Feel good?” Theo asks.
“Not good enough.”
“Fuck, boys,” Rocket says, touching his fingertips to the skin under his bleeding lower lip. Hopefully, his entire jaw will bruise.
“Be happy it’s not a fucking bullet,” Theo says.
Rocket looks defeated and exhausted, like he’s been carrying an unmanageable weight for far too long.
If only I felt sorry for him at all.
“I get it,” he says. His voice is practically gravel from decades of smoking. I make the mental note to really stop because I doubt Sadie would appreciate my voice changing and teeth going yellow ten years from now. “You have every right to hate me. But let me explain—”
“No need,” I interrupt. “You made a bad choice eight years ago and inadvertently got your granddaughter killed, and instead of being honest about it, you let us believe some psychopath pedophile kidnapped her. Then, when you couldn’t handle the guilt, you left.”
“Don’t forget that losing our daughter and imagining what she went through before she died pushed Scottie to take her own life,” Theo adds.
For a moment, I’m stunned, because of course he’s right.
There is nothing good about what’s happened and what we have learned. But if there was, it’d be that. Because if Shiloh’s kidnapping and murder was done out of revenge, then it’s highly likely her death was fast.
It doesn’t make losing her any easier, but since then, I’ve been plagued with images of the horrors she must have suffered.
It’s a large reason I didn’t sleep for years.
Theo has struggled even more, I know. After all, growing up in the system, he understands more intimately the evil that children experience at the hands of sick humans.
So, the fact that Shiloh was likely spared that level of cruelty provides a relief I didn’t realize I needed.
My father stares at us like we’ve sentenced him to an eternity in hell for a crime he didn’t commit. “I thought I was keeping you all safe. I mean, look at this. You’ve known the truth for a week and you’re about to go to war!”
“We were already at war!” Theo yells. “I would’ve died if it weren’t for June. And now they’re trying to kill her. I won’t let that happen.”
“Of course not,” Rocket says, his face pinched. I wonder what he thinks about Theo moving on with June. He never once considered finding a new ol' lady after Mom left.
“Did you think we’d reject you if you told us the truth? Or kill you?” I ask.
“I would’ve expected nothing less.”
I scoff. “I don’t know if that says more about you or us, that you expected us to kill you for making a mistake.”
“A mistake that got my granddaughter murdered.”
“Maybe if you had told us what happened after that raid, we could have been more careful. More vigilant,” I say. “Keeping it a secret was your real mistake.”
“You’re probably right.”
“He’s definitely right,” Theo says.
“What would you have me do?” He demands. “I’m here now.”
“Yes, congrats.” My voice is filled with sarcasm. “You came back five years later when your lies were uncovered. How brave of you.”
“I’m s—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Theo says. “You’ll stay.
You’ll help us fight Bowie. You’ll fucking die if you have to.
But you will not speak to me unless doing so is absolutely necessary.
And you’ll definitely not say you’re sorry, because clearly you’re not.
So get the fuck out of my face and wait for one of your loyal lap dogs, Kip or Daryus, to contact you. ”
With that, he shoves past my father and marches out of the garage. Rocket watches him go, then slowly turns back to me.
“Son…”
I shake my head. “Don’t. Maybe one day we can…” I bite my cheek and shake my head again. “But just… not now.”
“James. Please.”
“No, Dad. You had your chance years ago, and you chose to run. Now you can live with that choice.” I follow Theo outside. Instead of going back to the Cage or the house, I allow the tug at the center of my chest to guide me, needing to be with the one person who quiets the noise.