Chapter Forty-Nine
Sadie
Before we leave the hospital, June and I take the elevator to the waiting room where Evelyn is sitting. She looks uncomfortable curled in a chair, exhaustion lining her face and pooled under her eyes.
“Ev,” I say.
She shifts, eyes cracking open. Her body relaxes a marginal amount when she sees us, studying June, then me, and asks, “Are you okay?”
I touch the edge of the bandage on my temple where the doctors stitched up a small cut from the punches. “I’ll be fine. Just a few bruises.”
“And stitches,” June adds. I elbow her, but she just smirks.
“Just two. It probably won’t even scar.”
“You’ll have a scar. And it’ll look hot and badass.”
Ignoring her, I sit next to Evelyn and settle my hand over hers. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. Not a scratch.”
“And Ace?”
She looks away, worry clearly sucking the life from her. “He’s still in surgery. The doctors are optimistic that he’ll be okay.”
“That’s good,” June says, taking the seat across from Evelyn. “Do you want us to stay with you?”
She shakes her head. “I’m sure you need to get home.” Then, as if just noticing that we’re alone, she adds, “Where are Theo and James?”
“Running an errand,” June answers.
“And they’re okay with you staying here alone?”
“We are capable, independent women. We can do whatever we want.”
I scoff. “We promised to wait at their house. Benny is meeting us there.”
“Then you need to go.”
“Not if you need us.” I squeeze her hand. “You’re our priority.”
“Seriously, I’m okay. And I have no idea how long it’ll take anyway.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask for more information, because what the hell?
When did they meet? How long has this, whatever it is, been going on?
And how? In what world do Actaeon Demos, the scavenger of the underworld who spends his time with dead bodies, and Evelyn Ambrose, social worker with a bleeding heart who loves rules more than anything, like each other?
Unfortunately, now isn’t the time to ask any of that. Instead, I say, “We can tell Benny to come here. Or to pick you up some food.”
“I’m not hungry, but thank you.”
“Evelyn, we want to help you,” June adds.
“I know you do. And I love you for it. But you both must be exhausted. You’ve been through more than me. Go home and sleep. I’ll text you when he’s out of surgery.”
June and I share a look. I can’t deny that I am beyond tired. But Ev is one of my best friends, and it’s clear that Ace means a lot to her.
“Go,” she insists. “Please. I’m probably going to nap anyway.”
It takes a few more minutes before we agree to leave, and Ev promises that she’ll call if she needs anything or has any updates. When we’re back in the elevator, I look at June, and my own confusion is reflected on her face.
~
I know as soon as I wake up that James isn’t back yet.
I only managed a few hours, and the sleep was fitful at best. Soot leads me to the living room, where June is laying on the couch under a fluffy blanket, drinking coffee.
Benny is passed out in the chair next to the couch.
I’ll never understand how men can sleep literally anywhere at any time.
I pour myself a cup of coffee and join her on the couch. Soot plops on the floor at our feet.
“They found him,” she says.
“Gray?”
She nods. “We won’t hear from them for a while.”
My stomach twists like it’s been tossed in an anxiety blender.
“They’ll be okay.”
I do my best to believe her.
But what if Gray has backup? Or what if the cops find them mid-murder?
“I won’t sleep anymore, and I need a distraction,” I say.
She picks up the remote control. “NCIS?”
“Something lighter.”
“Bob’s Burgers it is.”
Linda’s enthusiastic, expressive voice and Bob’s monotone, annoyed responses have an instant calming effect on my mind. “What is it that makes this the ultimate comfort show? No matter my mood, Bob’s Burgers is the perfect thing to watch.”
“No idea,” June says. “It’s a psychological phenomenon.”
We get through several episodes before Luna arrives, holding a container of kolaches. Soot’s barks wake Benny up, and I lower the volume on the TV.
“Morning, sleeping beauties,” Luna says, smiling.
“We’re literally all awake,” Benny mumbles.
“Whatever.” She drops on the couch next to me, flipping open the kolache box. “But since we’re all awake, shall we discuss our victory against the South Five?”
I look at June, who had told me about what she did yesterday but nothing else. Benny has been asleep, so I have no idea how the rest of the Saints fared. My experience didn’t feel like a Saints victory, even if Bowie was the only one who survived their ambush.
“We lost three Saints, including Nemo and Pappi, but the Fivers’s death toll is in the dozens.
And nearly just as many were arrested during the casino and strip club raids.
That, coupled with the amount of women who escaped and Fiver lackeys who fled, there’s no way they’ll survive this.
Not with Bowie facing death row and Gray gone. ”
“Who’s the other Saint who died?” I ask.
Luna’s lips tip into a frown. “VB. He was the Las Vegas tail gunner. Died saving Junior’s life.”
Does the relief that it wasn’t a member of the Tucson chapter make me a terrible person?
Probably. But I’m starting to think I won’t last long in this world if I continue trying to always be the best person possible.
They may call themselves Saints, but they’re all sinners. A true saint would never survive here.
“How is Clyde?” I ask.
Benny answers this time, probably having gotten the information before passing out. “The bullet went through his shoulder, but he’ll be fine. If anything, he’s happy to have a new story to bore anyone who will listen with.”
“How are you?” Luna asks.
“Already annoyed with that question,” I answer.
She laughs. “Fair. Your face is gnarly. Took a few good hits, did you?”
I shrug. “The other guy looks worse.”
“I heard. Ace is the real hero of all this, isn’t he?” Luna says.
“He sure is my hero. But don’t tell James I said that.”
“I’m not an idiot.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Benny says with a wink. Luna leans over to punch him.
The four of us share stories from yesterday, oscillating between laughter and somber reflection.
“Your little gifts to the women are the reason so many of us survived,” Benny says after explaining a raid on one of the strip clubs he’d done before joining Luna on a mission to break into Detective Cruz’s place.
“At least half the men were already sick when we arrived. Throwing up, hallucinating, rolling around on the floor in pain. It was like putting down dogs.”
“All the women are okay?” I ask. I’d also texted Macy before my nap to make sure she was okay. I’d asked a lot of her, revisiting that terrible time of her life so she could implore old friends and even strangers to put their lives in danger for me.
“Yes. Not all of them took our offer of protection, but the Fivers are scattered enough right now that getting revenge on a few girls isn’t on their radars,” Luna answers. “If they even know what made them all so sick.”
“What did make them so sick?” Benny asks. “I mean I know it was poison, but what kind? How did you have so much of it?”
Luna slaps his bicep.
“Hey!” he shouts. “What was that for?”
“Don’t you know not to ask women questions like that? Never ask a woman how old she is, how much she weighs, or where she got all that poison.”
My laugh comes out as a snort.
“You’re right,” Benny concedes. “I apologize, Sadie. Please forgive my ignorance.”
“It’s fine. Gardening has been my favorite activity since I was a child. It’s not my fault if some of the prettiest flowers out there happen to be a little bit toxic.”
“No, I guess that would be God’s fault,” Benny says.
“That’s how you know God is a woman,” Luna says. “Only a female would create things as stunning as women and flowers, then say, ‘you know what would make this even better? If they could kill a man.’”
I smile. “I’ve always thought of it more as an evolutionary necessity.
Too often, people see beautiful things, like flowers and women, and see an easy target.
After being devoured by evil men for so long, we evolved.
If we were going to be eaten, we’d take down our assailants in the process.
Then, maybe they’d stop equating beauty with weakness. ”
The look they give me has embarrassment flushing my cheeks. I’m about to apologize for ruining the vibe when Luna suddenly leans over and pulls me into a tight hug. My laugh is soft, more one of uncertainty than amusement. “What’s this for?”
“I’m just so glad I’ve met you guys.” She hugs June next. “You are both exactly who we needed.”
“Because we make your president and vice president happy?”
“Because you remind us never to apologize for who we are. And that we don’t have to hide our petals or thorns to be loved.”
~
James and Theo get back after sunset. They both look exhausted. Not just tired but a soul-deep exhaustion that won’t be cured with a few hours’ sleep.
James kisses me while Theo drags June to their bedroom. When he pulls back, his eyes search mine, and I see an internal war happening behind them. He probably wants to shower and sleep but also needs to make sure I’m okay and maybe fuck me until he remembers we’re both alive and okay.
Deciding to make the decision for him, I step out of his arms. “Go shower, then come to bed. We can burn your clothes and talk about everything tomorrow.”
His shoulders relax. He nods, kisses the tip of my nose, and disappears into the bathroom. I fill up two bottles of water, take a pain killer, then strip down into my underwear and climb under his sheets. Soot is asleep on the floor, worn out from an afternoon of playing with Benny’s dog.
James enters the bedroom with a towel around his waist, water dripping from his hair and beard, and bare chest glistening.
I fold the covers down on his side, revealing a glimpse of bare skin.
He kicks the door shut and strides over, dropping the towel as he does.
My mouth dries at the sight of his half-hard cock, but I refuse to entertain those thoughts right now.
Once in the bed, James turns on his side and pulls me against him. I don’t even care that he’s not fully dry, I just want to feel him.
We lay still, wrapped in a tight embrace, neither of us making a move. When I can’t stand it anymore, I ask, “Are you okay?”
His answer stops my heart, then gives it a brand new reason to beat.
“I love you.”
I close my eyes and tighten my hold on him. “I love you, too.”