Chapter Fifty
James
It’s the best sleep I’ve had in thirty-four years. I’m actually disappointed when I wake up.
But then Sadie wiggles her hips, ass rubbing against my morning wood. I groan, hand traveling down her stomach to the top of her underwear. I stop, thinking she’s still asleep, when she mumbles, “Do it.”
So, I do. Neither of us turns or repositions. She comes on my fingers, then I pull her underwear to the side and easily slide in. It’s a lazy morning fuck, the kind that comes with an ease and security born only out of love.
Love.
I told her I love her last night.
She said it back.
I never want to leave this bed. This bubble full of the pure happiness that philosophers and writers and artists have been trying to explain for centuries.
“Let’s stay here forever,” Sadie says. I chuckle, and she turns around to face me. “What?”
“I was just wondering when you learned how to read my mind.”
“Spoiler alert: I’ve always been able to.”
“No you haven’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because if you could, you would have known I loved you long before last night.”
“Since when?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe the first time you called me that stupid nickname. Or when you yelled at me in the bathroom during your date with Bowie. Or when I spent a week trying not to talk to you and failed miserably.”
“We weren’t even together yet,” she whispers.
“I know.”
We kiss until Soot whines to be let out. And once we leave my bedroom, we can no longer ignore the rest of the world.
“Yeah, thanks,” Theo says into the phone, turning to face me as he hangs up. “That was the lawyer. He’s going over the security footage from the clubhouse but said it shouldn’t be hard to get both Sadie and Ace off on self-defense claims.”
I figured as much, but it’s a relief, nonetheless. “How is Ace?”
“Recovering. I’m going to head to the hospital before the Cage.”
“I can come with you.”
“I need you to go to the Cage now. We have too much to do.”
I nod because he’s right. We’re going to be busy for a while. “What about Bowie?”
Theo’s face tightens into a scowl. "Doesn't look like he’ll get out on bail. The DA is salivating to put away the leader of the biggest gang in Tucson, and he finally has enough evidence.”
“We’ve gotten to people in prison before.”
“He’ll be in solitary confinement. And protective custody.”
My teeth grind together. Killing Gray felt amazing, but I want Bowie. It was his order that Gray was following when he killed Shiloh.
“We’ll get him,” Theo says. “We just have to be patient.”
“I know.”
“I was thinking…” He pauses, rolling his lips together.
“What?”
“Ace has done so much these last few weeks,” Theo says. “We wouldn’t have won this thing with the South Five if not for him.”
“I agree.”
“And Saturday night…”
I imagine thinking about it, what almost happened to Sadie, will always fill my body with dry ice. “He saved Sadie’s life.”
“He saved all of them. Took two bullets doing it. I know we haven’t done this in years, but what do you think about making him an honorary Saint?
” Theo asks it hesitantly, as if there’s any world in which I wouldn’t give anything and everything to Ace.
He saved the most important person in my life.
When Sadie needed me the most, it was Ace who was there for her.
“If anyone deserves it, it’s him.”
~
Kip stands straight while he talks to me. The entire time, I indulge in a fantasy of pushing him, Daryus, and my father off a cliff.
Kip has been one of my closest friends since I was twenty-one, when he joined the Saints. His betrayal hurts almost as much as my dad’s. I want to forgive him, I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.
We’re at the Cage all day. Sadie and June stay with us, both having taken the day off work.
They leave only to visit Evelyn at the hospital, where she’s still sitting with Ace.
The rest of the Tucson Saints agreed on making Ace an honorary member without hesitation.
The only shocking part was Ace accepting it.
I’m sitting in my office, nursing a scotch, when someone taps their knuckles on my door. I look up and scowl.
“Get out.”
Rocket steps inside. I almost throw my glass at him but need the drink too much. “I heard you got Gray.”
“Eight years too late.”
“I’m sorry, son.”
“Don’t call me that!” I shout, jumping to my feet.
“I really did think I was protecting you.”
“You should have been protecting your granddaughter.”
Rocket flinches. A vindictive pleasure fills me at the look of pain on his face.
“If I could go back, I’d do everything differently.”
“Well, you can’t. You know, I used to blame myself for everything?
Hell, I blamed myself for Mom leaving. But she left because she hated this life.
The life you chose. So, it was never my fault, was it?
It was always yours. Mom, Shiloh, and Scottie.
They’re all gone, and it was your choices that did that. ”
A tear falls from the corner of his eye. The sight makes me furious. “I know,” he says, sounding more broken than I’ve ever heard him.
And suddenly, I don’t have the energy for this. For him.
I drop back into my chair. “Just leave. Run back to Virginia. And never contact me again.” I down the rest of my scotch.
“James—”
Whatever he was going to say cuts off when he ducks to avoid the glass I throw at him.
It soars through the open door and shatters on the hallway wall.
“Go,” I snarl, knowing someone will be coming to check on me after that crash.
Hopefully it's not Theo, because as much as I hate my father right now, I don’t want him dead, and I fear Theo wouldn’t hesitate to kill him.
Rocket gives me one last longing, pitiful look. “I love you, son. I always will. You and your sister are the best things I’ve ever done.”
“And yet you lost us both.”
He dips his chin. “Yes, I did.” Then he turns and leaves, brushing past Valor as he does.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“No.” I pull out my phone and text Sadie, asking her to come back here. “But it will be.”
~
The next day, Tucson is overrun by every Saint of Purgatory, from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City to Albuquerque.
The Iron Cage is packed for several straight days as we host the other bikers.
We have three funerals, and everyone gets shitfaced.
Dozens of cops loiter nearby, intensely watching the giant group of criminals.
I end every night that week inside Sadie, then sleeping with her wrapped in my arms. She’s gone back to her apartment only once to grab more clothes and food for Soot.
The dog and I have bonded recently, and I don’t even complain when he jumps onto the bed and couch.
He’s actually really sweet, and I love how protective he is of Sadie.
Maybe we should get another dog. A German Shepherd or Rottweiler. One that wouldn’t hesitate to kill a man for my girl.
My ol' lady.
She happily agreed to the label when I asked her on Tuesday evening after her Taco Tuesday.
They almost didn’t have it, but Rose came back from Phoenix and demanded all four girls go to their restaurant because they “needed a bit of normalcy after the shit hurricane” they’d just been through.
Or something like that. I don’t know. I understand that one the least of all four girls.
“How does it look?” Sadie asks, turning her face to the side. She just got the stitches near her eye removed. The skin is still raised and red but looks healed.
“Sexy,” I answer, coming up beside her in the bathroom, where she’s inspecting her face. I pull her back against my chest and pepper her neck with kisses.
She giggles, grabbing my forearm as if attempting to free herself. She doesn’t truly want to be freed, though. Which is good, because I’ll never let her go.
“You think everything is sexy.”
“Everything on you.”
“What about a burlap sack?”
I let out a dramatic groan of desire and push my growing erection against her.
“A banana onesie?”
“Is that even a thing?”
“Everything is a thing, remember?”
I chuckle, moving my kisses to her shoulder. “On you? Sexy as hell.”
She tilts her head to the side, extending her neck so I have better access. “What about dog shit?”
“Like, actual shit? Just smeared on your body?”
“Yes.”
I shrug. “Maybe I’m a pig, because I wouldn’t care.”
“What about—”
I bite her jaw to shut her up. Her squeal is broken by a moan when I cup her breast over her T-shirt, pinching the nipple. “I love you, Sadie Oliver. There is nothing you could ever do to change that fact. Or how sexy I will always find you.”
“What if I turned into an actual Venus flytrap?”
“Then I’d find a wizard to turn me into a fly so we could be together.”
“By me eating you?”
“What a way to go.” I spin her around and push her harshly against the sink, crashing our lips together. “But first, I think I’ll eat you.” Then I drop to my knees and use my favorite method of turning my girlfriend’s brain off.
I knew from the start that Sadie was dangerous. Loving her is dangerous.
But she is my sanctuary, and I am her prison.
I have no intention of setting either of us free.