Chapter 35 – Ramona
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ramona
M y eyelids flutter open as a rhythmic beeping sound reaches my ears. I try to turn my head, but it doesn’t move, and there’s a pain in my right hand every time I move it. Bright-white lights fill the room, but I can’t figure out where I am. The only thing I can see is the stark white of the ceiling.
I blink a few times, the smell of antiseptic filling my nostrils as I slowly remember what happened. I was accosted by a pack of gossip-hungry reporters when I left Cooper’s apartment. Stanley tried to warn me, but I wasn’t listening and ran right into them. Their prey served up to them on a silver platter.
I remember smashing my head on the concrete before I passed out. My hand instinctively raises to the spot on my temple. I wince as my fingers brush against my skin, now covered with a bandage. Nothing was too painful until I touched the wound. They must have given me some serious painkillers. Thank goodness or my head would hurt like a bitch.
I slowly move my arms and legs, testing to see if anything else was injured, and find my ankle encased in a small black boot of some sort. I guess this is something more serious than a sprain if they fitted me for this thing.
“Hey there.” Alise’s face appears above me. Her eyes are bloodshot, lines of black mascara staining her cheeks. “I know Cooper calls you Beauty, but don’t you think this is taking things a little too seriously?”
“I aim to please.” My voice cracks slightly from lack of use. I try to sit up again, but flop back down on the bed. “A little help here.”
“Oh shit, my bad.” The top of the bed slowly rises, and I finally get a look at the room.
I’m probably in a semi-private room, but it’s modest, nothing over the top. The walls are painted a soothing blue color, and the entire right side of the room is covered in windows, giving me a clear view of the city. The sun is shining brightly, a very rare occurrence for this time of year in the Northwest.
“Do you remember what happened?” Alise presses a red call button on the railing of my bed, no doubt letting them know I’m awake.
“I was fucking accosted by reporters when I came out of Cooper’s building. Stanley tried to get me back inside, but they had me pressed against the door. The last thing I remember is someone running into me and me hitting my head.”
“That crazy-ass fucking bitch, Annamarie Sutton, made up some bullshit story about you playing Beau and Cooper against each other. A few different versions of the story were splashed all over the internet late last night.”
“She said he was going to regret it.” I struggle to sit up, grabbing the railing next to my bed and noticing the small needle stuck in my hand. “I should’ve known that she was going to do something shady to get Cooper to leave me, but that bitch has another thing coming.”
Alise slams into me, burying her face in my neck as wetness collects on my skin. “I’m fine, girl. It’s going to take a lot more than some reporters to stop me.”
“I was so terrified. You and Cooper in the hospital at the same time is just too much for me to handle.”
“What happened to Cooper?” The beeps on the monitor quicken as my heart rate increases. “If she did anything to him...” I rip the small needle from my right hand and pry her arms from my neck.
I try to swing my legs over the edge of the bed, but Alise stops me. “Sit your ass down, young lady. You have a concussion and have been unconscious for the last three hours after being trampled by reporters. Not to mention a level three sprained ankle and dislocated shoulder.”
“I need to see Cooper.” I try to climb out of the bed again, but she grabs my booted ankle and moves it back onto the bed before grabbing the other and throwing the blanket back over my legs.
“He’s with a doctor of his own right now, but he’ll be back as soon as his hand and arms are stitched up.”
“Stitches?” I screech, my mind trying to understand what she’s saying. Cooper was sound asleep when I left the apartment. I know he would have been worried about me when he woke up to find me gone, but how the hell did that lead to him needing stitches?
“He put his fist through the bathroom mirror. Beau found him passed out in the bathroom, shards of glass stuck all into his arms and hands. He was just lying there, bleeding and alone.” She hiccups, tilting her chin into the air. Her eyelashes flutter as if she’s fighting not to cry.
“Wh-wh-what?”
“I thought I’d lost you.” I whip my head toward the door to find Cooper shuffling into the room, Beau right on his tail. His arms are spread on either side of his brother, waiting to catch him if he falls.
Alise strides right toward him, pulls her hand back, and slaps him hard across the face. His head reels back slightly, but he does nothing to retaliate. He just stands there, his head cast down as his eyes look anywhere but at her.
“You fucking asshole. How dare you? How fucking dare you!”
“What the fuck are you doing, Alise? He’s obviously in pain. Why the hell is she hitting him?” I chastise her, but I have a feeling there’s more to the story. Someone doesn’t just punch through a bathroom mirror for no reason.
“It’s okay, Beauty.” Tears stream down his cheeks as he wraps his arms around Alise. “I'm so sorry, Lissy Loo Loo.”
She wiggles in his arms, saying no a few times before a soft sob escapes her lips, and she wraps her arms tightly around him. Her tiny frame trembles as she says something to him. I can’t make out the words, but Cooper must hear them because his arms tighten around her. I see his lips moving as he leans closer to her ear before unwrapping himself from around her body and taking a step back.
She stares at him for a few moments before lifting her chin and heading right out the door with Beau on her heels. Cooper moves slowly toward me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear the moment he closes his eyes.
“Oh, Cooper.” I spread my arms open wide, and he surges toward me. An anguished cry escapes his lips as he falls to his knees beside my bed. His arms wrap around my waist as he buries his nose in the soft flesh of my stomach, the wetness of his tears seeping through the thin hospital gown.
“I thought I’d lost you. I thought Annamarie had gotten to you, and I snapped. I couldn’t deal with the pain of knowing that I’d done it again. That I was to blame for one of the most important people in my life’s death.”
My hand slides through his hair, soothing him the best I can. “What do you mean? There’s no way it’s your fault that anything happened to me at all. And what do you mean about being blamed for someone’s death? What happened?”
“It’s my fault Dad died when I was fifteen years old. I know it wasn’t directly my fault, but if I hadn’t been so selfish, maybe we could’ve saved him.”
My heart breaks for Cooper as he tells me what happened to his father. About the family camping trip, his father’s heart attack, and his subsequent fall. I know exactly how Cooper is feeling, the pain and guilt of believing that your loved ones would be alive if you had made a different decision.
“I know he had a heart attack. He could’ve died in his recliner in the living room that night for all I know, but I knew he wasn’t feeling well. I knew before we even left the house, but I wanted my birthday trip. I wanted that memory with my family so badly that it cost Dad his life.”
He twists his face up to me, the pure anguish of all the emotions he’s been holding inside for all these years written all over his face. “It was not your fault.” He tries to turn his face away from me, but I grab his chin, twisting it to force him to look at me. “It was not your fault.”
“Logically, I know that.”
“But the voice in your head is telling you something else. It's telling you that everything that has ever happened to a member of your family since that moment was your fault. The same voice drives you to give everything you have to your family and the people you care for, even if it's to your detriment.”
The tears I’ve been trying to keep at bay since Cooper started telling me his story spill down my cheeks. I know exactly how he’s feeling because I fight to block out those same feelings. When I told Cooper about what happened to Dad and Imani, it felt like a burden had been lifted off my soul. That there was finally someone in this world who could help me shoulder the burden. Now it's my turn to do the same for Cooper.
“Yes, but there’s more.” Cooper sits up, using the palms of his hands to wipe away the tears as he holds his bandaged arms out to me. “I did this to punish myself. I needed the pain to remind me of what I’d done, to make me pay for what I believed I had done to you.”
“You were angry and afraid. It’s understandable for someone to lash out.” My hands flutter around his bandaged arms, not knowing where I can touch him and not cause him any more pain.
“No, Beauty. Remember the bruises and small cuts I had all over my wrists after the barbecue for Darius’s birthday?”
“Yes.” I gasp, my mind finally connecting the dots.
Cooper practices self-harm. It's his way of punishing himself for what he believes he’s done. A physical reminder of the pain he’s caused others. Tears blur my vision as the all-consuming need to protect him from his demons fills my soul. Cooper has been dealing with so much all on his own, but he’s finally ready to face his demons.
“I did that to punish myself. If I hadn’t been at the barbecue, they wouldn’t have said all of those things about Darius.” He inhales deeply, his eyes begging me to listen to everything he has to say, but there’s also something else: fear. He’s afraid to tell me these things, that this might be the final straw to send me running away from him, but he has the wrong idea completely. I understand this beautifully broken man in a way no one else on this planet can. I may not have ever harmed myself, but I thought about ending my life.
The thoughts scared me so badly that I started therapy the following morning. I’d been fighting every day to keep from falling into the abyss and letting the voice in my head control me. I knew I needed to pick myself up so I could be there for Darius and Ma. I started therapy for the two of them, but I continue going for myself.
“I don’t know when or why I started doing it specifically, but I don’t want to do it anymore. When Beau asked me if I’d tried to kill myself, I wanted to tell him no, but I really have no idea what I was thinking. I couldn’t stop imagining that you were hurt and could’ve died. It broke me, and I just wanted to make myself pay.”
“I understand, Cooper.” I lay my palm on his cheeks, and he nuzzles into it, planting a kiss on the inside of my wrist. “But you have to want to get better for yourself. You can’t do anything for someone else. It’s a good reason to start, but nothing is going to change until you take the first step in healing.”
“Will you help me?”
I press my mouth to his, pouring all the love I have for this beautiful man into him. Hoping that he finally understands that there’s someone out there who gets him. Who loves him for him and not just what he might do for them. That there’s someone who will slay the dragons and stand beside him as he fights his own demons every day. “I’ll be there every step of the way. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Cooper Hendrix.”
“Thank you, Beauty. Thank you.” My thumbs brush against his cheek as he leans forward, pressing his lips against mine a second time.
I slowly scoot over, leaving enough space on the side of the bed for him to climb in. He gets the hint and slides under the blanket, careful not to jostle me too much as he snuggles into my side. His eyes drift shut but fly open almost immediately as he fights to stay awake. “Sleep, Cooper. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you, Ramona King.”
“I love you, too, Cooper Hendrix.”
It doesn’t take long for his breathing to even out as he falls into a deep sleep, giving me some time to process everything that he’s told me. The minute I laid eyes on Cooper at the herd crossing all those months ago, I knew there was something about him. I usually never flirted with people visiting town. Hell, I never flirted at all, but something compelled me to that day. Then I found out that he’s the town hero and my nephew’s hockey coach. Someone somewhere had a hand in pushing us toward each other.
“Thanks, you two,” I whisper into my quiet hospital room, a calmness I haven’t felt in a long time settling over me.
Do I know for a fact that Dad and Imani sent Cooper to me? Of course not, but I have a feeling Cooper’s dad may have had a hand in it, as well. I can picture those three sitting up in heaven looking down at us, a bag of popcorn between the three of them as they try everything they can to force us to meet, getting frustrated that the two of us have spent years missing each other before that chance meeting.
“You’re welcome. Although I have no idea what we did.” Beau comes into the room, carrying a familiar picnic basket, and drops it onto the small table with two chairs by the window. “We figured you’d be hungry, and hospital food is fucking disgusting.”
“Amen to that,” Alise responds, leaning around an obscenely gigantic bouquet of wildflowers in a bright green vase. “From an admirer.”
“I don’t want them.” I glance down at Cooper still sleeping peacefully beside me. The tips of my fingers trace his eyebrows and the curve of his face, committing each one to memory.
“Oh, you definitely want these.” Beau grabs the card hidden in the flowers and reads it aloud. “ Get well soon. Henry Ryan .”
“Please explain to me why the owner of the Portland Timberwolves is sending me flowers?”
“Cooper,” they respond in unison as Beau flips open the picnic basket and pulls out three large Styrofoam containers. “Once I got Cooper all patched up, he called Remy and told him everything. Remy must have called Henry. Hence the flowers.”
“I still can’t believe that Henry Ryan is Annamarie’s biological dad.”
“Me either. I’m just thankful crazy doesn’t run in the family.” Alise giggles.
“I went and grabbed lunch from Ollie’s restaurant. Nothing as fancy as what Cooper had at your first picnic, just some burgers and fries.”
My stomach rumbles loudly at the mention of food. “I’m starving.”
“We can tell.” Beau chuckles, handing me one box and a few napkins. His eyes flick down to his brother.
“How are you holding up?” I ask, not knowing what else to say.
I can’t imagine what it must have been like to find his brother in the bathroom, covered in glass and blood. He must have been terrified, and then to learn that Cooper did that to himself.
Silent tears stream down his cheeks as he clears his throat, his eyes not once moving from his brother’s face. “I’ve been better, that's for sure. Did he tell you everything? Even about Dad?”
“He did.”
“To think he had so much pain festering inside him that he did this to himself. I should’ve known. I should’ve noticed how tormented he was every day. I don’t know how I missed this.” Beau reaches to brush a stray hair from his brother's face but pulls his hand back at the last minute, clenching his hands in fists at his side.
“You can’t beat yourself up, Beau. You didn’t see it because he didn’t want anyone to. He suffered alone because he thought he was protecting all of you.”
“Stupid fucking idiot.” He chuckles darkly before his eyes lock with me. “Thank you for taking care of him, Ramona.”
“No need to thank me. I love him. It's kind of in the job description.” I wink at him before he turns to grab his own food and takes a seat at the table. “Now, which one of you is going to tell me the plan for dealing with Crazy.”
“Neither. You need to rest.” Cooper’s sleep-laden voice fills the room as he sits up.
“Good afternoon, Sleeping Beauty,” Beau teases his brother, grabbing the last to-go box and holding it out to his brother. “Hungry?”
“Starving,” he answers, pushing out of the bed and grabbing the box, but he doesn’t pull away. The two brothers remain locked in a silent conversation for a few moments before Beau nods his head and lets go.
“What was that about?” Alise’s head swivels back and forth between the two of them.
“Just a conversation between two brothers.” Cooper takes a seat on the bed next to me before flipping the lid open and taking a huge bite of his burger.
Alise fills me in on everything that has happened since I was injured. Ms. Melanie is with Darius, Ma, and Auntie Peggy at Beau’s apartment. Stanley called Ma when the ambulance came to let her know what happened. That man needs a raise; he definitely went above and beyond today.
I tried many times to get any information from Cooper and Beau about how we’re going to handle things with the press and Annamarie, but I haven’t gotten more than a few words out of him about it.
“You’re holding a press conference tomorrow before the game?” I ask, popping the last bite of my burger into my mouth.
“Yes. It will be early enough in the day that I shouldn’t have a problem making it back to Redwood Falls for our game. “
“But how is that going to solve our problem with Annamarie? Are you going to tell the world what she’s done to us all because her daddy doesn’t know how to tell her no?” Alise asks, and I nod, hating not knowing what the plan is.
“Sort of. Just trust me, okay?” He plants a kiss on my forehead. “After the press conference, there will be no doubt in anyone’s mind that Annamarie should be committed.”
I trust Cooper with my life, so why not trust him to take care of this, as well? I know he’d never do anything to purposely put me or anyone he cares about in danger, but we can’t underestimate Annamarie again. Look at how much chaos she created in less than twenty-four hours. There’s no way she doesn’t have something else up her sleeve.
“I trust you,” I say with conviction, believing it with every fiber of my being. “I only have one question. What does one wear to a press conference?”