Chapter Eight
It had been ages since Reuben could remember enjoying himself so much.
Jessica had been a bit stand-offish with him to begin with, which he assumed was because her mum had forced her to do something she clearly didn’t want to.
He could see the dismay in her eyes when Catriona had suggested that Jessica help him out.
He couldn’t believe this was the Jessica whose ponytail he always used to tug when they were kids.
She had certainly changed and he couldn’t help stealing quick glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.
She wore dark jeans and boots and a black coat, which looked as though it belonged to her dad.
Her hair hung loose over her shoulders and she wore a red hat.
She was beautiful. Although she seemed confident and funny, there was also something vulnerable about her.
As though she had a protective shell around her.
Then he checked himself. If Murray could see him now, checking out his sister, he would probably want to clobber him.
‘I think this is the perfect one,’ she said, pointing at the branches of a huge tree.
He crinkled his nose. ‘Isn’t it a bit big?’ He walked towards a row of smaller ones and gestured towards one. ‘Is this not better?’
She tutted. ‘That wee skinny thing? Don’t be ridiculous. It will topple over as soon as you drape a bit of tinsel on it. And it will look lost in your front room which I’m assuming is still the same and like my parents’? You want something that will be the centrepiece.’
He scratched his head. ‘It will take over the whole room. I’ll need to move the furniture out.’
Jessica rolled her eyes at him. ‘Don’t be so dramatic. Trust me,’ she said tugging at the branches of her tree. ‘This will look perfect.’
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘If you insist.’
She grinned at him triumphantly and he couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You always did like to be right.’
She shrugged and he could feel her eyes on him as he cut it down and hoisted it over his shoulder.
‘That’s because I am right. I promise it will look amazing in the cottage,’ she said firmly.
They walked towards the exit, where Reuben paid for the tree as it was netted. ‘Do you want to come and see the cottage and advise me on where you think it should go?’ he said as he secured the tree on the roof rack of his car.
Her cheeks were tinged pink by the cold air and she looked at him almost shyly from beneath her hat. ‘Um, this is the part where I should say I’d better go and ask my mum and dad.’ She burst out laughing.
He pulled a face as he looked across the car park. ‘Well, I don’t like to break it to you, Jessica, but it looks like they’ve already left.’
She spun round in shock. ‘Oh my God, so they have. That is outrageous.’ Her eyes smiled now. ‘They’ve actually left their child behind. I don’t believe it.’
‘Just as well I’m here then to give you a lift home. Otherwise, it would be a long walk back.’ He grinned at her and opened the car with a click of his key.
Inside, he turned the heating on high to warm them up from the outside chill factor.
‘Thanks,’ she said, rubbing her hands together. ‘I am so cold. I keep forgetting how much colder it is up here.’
‘Now that you’re a soft southerner,’ he joked.
‘Yup. I am clearly too used to the balmy London temperatures.’
‘I agree though, it’s chilly out there. Much colder than it has been. I wonder if it might even snow,’ he said, looking at the sky.
‘Maybe,’ she said.
They were immersed in comfortable silence as they drove back towards Rowan Bay, Reuben’s eyes focused on the winding road ahead.
Then Jessica spoke. ‘I didn’t realise you had moved back to the village.’
‘It’s not really a permanent thing. I still have my flat in Glasgow. I’ve been dividing my time between them until I figure out what to do.’
‘What made you buy the cottage from your dad then?’
‘He needed full-time care and so we had to sell his home to pay the care home fees.’ He paused and glanced at her.
‘My dad has dementia, and although I had carers coming in to help him every day, he got to the stage where he couldn’t be left on his own.
I wanted to know he would be safe so moving him into the care home seemed the best solution.
’ It didn’t matter how many times he explained the situation, he still felt guilty about it.
‘I hated the thought of someone else living in the cottage.’ He brushed his hand across his jaw. ‘That’s why I decided to buy it.’
‘Ah, I see. That makes sense. I guess it’s good you’ve been able to do that . . . and how is your dad?’
He frowned, realising he wasn’t used to people asking after his dad. ‘He seems settled enough. And I’m glad he’s safe there. But I still feel guilty.’
‘Why?’
‘I feel I should have done more for him.’
‘But what else could you have done, other than moving in with him and being his full-time carer?’
It was the first time he had spoken about this in a while and he hadn’t realised how much it had been playing on his mind. He could feel his voice tremble as he spoke. ‘It’s just been hard, you know.’
‘I don’t think your dad would want you to feel bad,’ she said gently.
He looked across at her. ‘I know you’re right. It’s just been difficult. Doing the right thing isn’t easy.’
She nodded sympathetically. ‘And do you think you’ll rent it out when Murray has gone back to Australia?’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I haven’t really thought about where my home will be.’ He could tell she was looking at him, and he turned briefly to meet her quizzical gaze.
He shrugged, not really wanting to get drawn on where home was right now. ‘I don’t know yet and I work remotely anyway so I can be flexible about where I’m based. How about you? What does it feel like, being back in the motherland?’
She cleared her throat. ‘It’s a bit strange. But then it also feels very normal. Does that make sense? It’s so far removed from my London life but in a good way. Part of me feels like I’ve never left. Being back made me realise what a great place it was to grow up in.’
He nodded in agreement. ‘Yes, we were lucky having so much space when we were kids. And the loch . . .’
‘I know. I miss the water too. I live near the river in London but it’s just not the same.’
Reuben wanted to ask more about her life in London but he didn’t want to intrude and he was struggling to think how to ask more about her life without sounding nosy.
Catriona had mentioned briefly that she was exhausted and coming home for a rest. He wondered if she had burnout because of her job or whether there was more to it.
Catriona had never mentioned whether she had a partner or not, and if he asked, surely that would be a bit weird?
‘You’ll be looking forward to seeing your brother? ’ he said eventually.
‘Yup, it’s been a while,’ she said. ‘I can’t wait to see Lexi. She’s at such a cute age.’
‘Yes,’ said Reuben. ‘It will be good to catch up properly with him. It’s been ages. I still can’t quite believe he’s a dad. Seems crazy.’
‘What about you?’ said Jessica.
‘What do you mean?’
‘How’s married life?’
‘Complicated,’ he said, his voice curter than he intended it to be. He would have thought Catriona might have filled her in on his marriage breakdown. But she seemed completely unaware.
‘Oh. I’m sorry,’ said Jessica.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, keen not to talk about it any longer than he had to.
Just then, as they neared the village, Jessica’s phone buzzed, and when she looked at it, she tutted and slipped it back in her pocket. She didn’t say anything or give an explanation, but she became quiet. ‘Everything okay?’ he said, trying to sound concerned rather than prying.
‘Yes,’ she said distractedly. ‘It’s nothing important.’
‘Here we are,’ he said, trying to sound cheery although he now felt anything but. He felt bad for cutting her off when she’d asked him about his marriage and wished he could turn the clock back just a few minutes to when they were chatting like old friends.
‘Thanks for the lift,’ she said, unbuckling her seat belt and jumping out the car.
‘No problem. Looks like your folks are back now too.’ He reached up and started untying the tree from the car.
‘Let me help you,’ she said, her voice now subdued.
Reuben knew her mind was elsewhere, and he wondered if he had upset her, given how quickly the mood had shifted.
He had enjoyed her company today but he certainly didn’t want her to feel obliged to stay.
This was why he was better off on his own, he reminded himself.
It was far less complicated. ‘Thanks, but honestly, it’s fine.
I’ll manage from here. I’m sure you have loads of other things to be getting on with. ’
She looked at him for a moment, but he couldn’t quite read her expression. ‘Well, if you’re sure.’ She rubbed her hands together and shivered, looking towards Thistle Cottage.
‘Thanks for your help,’ he said trying to sound grateful. ‘But on you go, get inside. It’s Baltic out here.’
‘Right. I will. Thanks then,’ she said, now avoiding his gaze. ‘Okay, well see you around then.’ She turned to walk away. ‘Thanks for the lift.’
‘Thanks for your help, Jessie,’ he said, knowing it would annoy her yet saying it anyway. It was as though his teenage self had inhabited his body again. What was wrong with him?
She threw him a look and then spun on her heels and strode towards Thistle Cottage.
He was left standing there, knowing she was annoyed, but he couldn’t help himself from grinning. Having Jessica home could make this Christmas a lot more interesting indeed.