Chapter 21 Ryan
RYAN
Morning sun glints through the windows of the gym floor as I heave myself out of the chair and onto a bench.
I use the strap Savanna, my physio, gave me to tie around my thighs and secure my legs to the bench, providing the counterweight I no longer have.
The antibiotics must be working, because the pain is less sharp today. I lie down under the bar and raise my arms to grab the bar above me.
The training program Savanna gave me focuses on my lower body and learning how to move with a different weight distribution and eventually with my prosthetic when I advance to wearing it.
But it’s not enough. My upper body’s gotten soft from weeks of lying around, and I’m determined to keep strong. I want to be able to lift my son. I want to be able to swing him around and play ball and do all the things a dad should do.
I grit my teeth as I lift the bar off the nook where it’s resting and move it above my chest. It wobbles, and I grunt just to keep it steady. I’m starting with lower weights than what I was lifting before the accident, but it wobbles unsteadily, and I haven’t even lifted it yet.
“I’ll spot you.”
Hudson comes into view above me, and his hands slide under the bar, hovering an inch away from it.
Gritting my teeth, I push the bar above my chest.
“And again,” Hudson says.
I lower the bar to my chest, and my muscles scream as I push upwards. The bar wobbles, and I tighten my grip under the strain.
“You got one more in you,” Hudson says with more confidence than I feel.
Once again, I lower and push upwards, letting out a grunt as my muscles protest.
“Good.” Hudson takes the weight off the bar and helps me put it back into place on the rack.
I slide out from under the bar and sit up. It’s only three lifts at a weight way less than what I know I can do, but it’s a start.
“Thanks.” I undo my strap and turn to Hudson.
He shrugs. “Can’t have you dropping a bar on your face. You’d be no use to Paige then.” He smirks. “Although it might be an improvement.”
He strides over to the cable machine, and I watch him go with a smile on my face. I’ll take Hudson’s banter over his silence any day.
I slide myself into my chair and wheel over to the assisted pull-up machine. It’s been adapted for wheelchair use, and I transfer myself over. Savanna warned me it could take a while to get my strength back, and I shouldn’t expect to do a full pull-up immediately.
After adjusting the machine, I grab hold of the bars, and my body protests as I raise myself into the pull-up position, putting pressure on muscles that haven’t been used for weeks.
Hudson strides over to the window, and I follow his gaze to see what he’s looking at.
A group in high-vis orange overalls strolls along the path. The community service group.
“They should be behind bars, not allowed to roam free.”
I wheel over to join him by the window. “Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?”
He shakes his head. “You’re as soft as Joel. They broke the law. They should be punished.”
“Wearing those bright orange overalls is punishment enough.”
He grunts. “They’re roaming around in the fresh air. Where’s the justice?”
“Perhaps it’s about reform.”
He shakes his head. “Nah. Look at them. Look at her.”
He points to a woman who’s hanging back from the crowd.
She looks to be in her early twenties, with mousy brown hair pulled up into a high bun on top of her head.
Her hand is out by her side, and it brushes against the flax bushes.
Her face is tilted up to the sun, and her eyes are half closed as she meanders down the path.
“It’s as if she’s on a garden walk, not doing community service. Meanwhile, the gang she’s a part of continues to move stolen goods all over the county.”
I glance at Hudson with surprise. “She’s part of a gang?” She doesn’t seem the type, but Hudson seems transfixed by her.
“Got caught with a package of money and stolen goods.”
I glance at the woman again. She’s away from the rest of the group and making no move to talk with them. “It can’t have been too bad if she’s not behind bars.”
“First time offender, and she took a plea deal.”
Hudson’s glaring at the woman a little too hard, and I wonder what’s got him so worked up about it. “You seem to know a lot about it.”
“It’s my job to know.”
Joel comes down the path to the group, and the woman smiles when she sees him. Hudson tenses as Joel stops to speak to her.
“How do you know what she’s here for anyway?”
He doesn’t take his eyes off the woman. “You think I’m going to let a bunch of criminals walk around the retreat and not know what they’re in for?”
That seems extreme, even for Hudson. “They would’ve been vetted before going out on community service.”
Outside, Joel moves down the path, and the woman is left on her own again, away from the group.
“My sister and nephew are here. I need to know what the risks are.” He turns to me briefly before returning his gaze to the group outside.
“If you want to start thinking like a father, you need to know too.”
I huff out a breath. I get protecting those you love, but this seems a little extreme. Joel believes in helping others, but he wouldn’t have let in anyone who posed a threat. Although I’m wondering how Hudson knows all this.
“How did you get the details? Isn’t that confidential?”
“I have my ways.”
I bet those ways involve Marcus and his canny ability to track down information that isn’t on the public record. But I don’t ask any more questions; it’s best not to know.
He glances at me and jabs a finger in my direction. “You need to start thinking like this, Ryan. I’m taking a job out of town, and I’ll be gone at least a week. Paige and Noah’s safety are your responsibility now.”
His words make me sit a little taller. He’s right. Paige and Noah need my protection. I’m an elite fucking warrior. It’s who I am on the inside, and losing one leg won’t change that.
“They’ll be safe with me.”
“Good,” he mutters, and his gaze returns to the woman. “What the hell is she doing?”
The woman leans over one of the flower bushes and picks a bright red flower. “She’s stealing from the garden. I told Joel this was a bad idea.”
She tucks the flower into her hair and seems pleased with herself as she jogs to catch up to the group.
“It’s a flower, Hudson.” I chuckle as I wheel myself away. “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
After the gym, I head to my physio session and am wheeling myself back to my room when I see Paige on the path ahead of me.
I slow my pace to watch her. She’s got Noah tucked under one arm and her phone pressed to her ear with the other, the epitome of a working mom.
It looks good on her. She wields both child and work with confidence.
I wheel up behind them, and Noah waves to me and smiles, causing my heart to lurch. The little guy has got to be the cutest kid I’ve ever seen.
“Yes, I know you won’t be able to do a discount on this one. I appreciate that.” She stops in the path, and I wheel up beside her, but she’s too engrossed in the call to notice.
“Is there any coating that can make the sign paint proof. Is that a thing? Like a protective coating so if it got vandalized, say, with paint, I’d be able to wipe it off?”
Why the hell is Paige worried about vandalism? Something isn’t right here.
“Yes!” She still hasn’t noticed me, and I don’t like eavesdropping, but this seems important. If something’s happened, then I need to know. “That sounds great, and it’s how much extra?”
Her shoulders slump, and she nods her head. “That’s fine. Email me the details, and I’ll send the payment when I’m back at my desk. Thank you.”
She pockets the phone and notices me for the first time.
“Ryan, I didn’t see you.” Her expression turns uneasy, as if she’s been caught.
“Everything okay?”
She smiles too brightly. “Yeah, just speaking with a client.”
I raise my eyebrows. We both know she wasn’t speaking with a client. “Did something get vandalized?”
Biting her lower lip, she glances at Noah. I can see her battling with herself. It’s not easy for her to accept help, but I’m not giving up easily.
“You don’t have to face everything alone, Paige.”
She looks at me for a long while, then seems to make up her mind. She sets Noah on the ground. “Go see how many ants you can find.”
He toddles off to the edge of the path, and she crouches down so we’re at eye level.
I catch the scents of coffee and earth, and her proximity makes my head spin.
She leans in so her words don’t travel, and if I leaned forward, I could brush her lips with mine.
I wonder if they’re as soft as I remember and if she’d taste the same, like coffee and popcorn.
“Someone vandalized my sign.”
“What?” I slam back to reality. “What sign?”
Her gaze is on Noah as she speaks quietly, not wanting him to hear. “I run my business out of my home, and there’s a sign out front. Someone spray painted over it.”
Her focus remains on Noah, but she grips the edge of my chair, and her voice has an edge to it. She’s scared.
“Has anything else happened?”
She presses her lips together, and it’s the vulnerable side of her. The one I’m learning she doesn’t often show the world.
When I cover her hand with mine, she glances down at it and then up at me. Our eyes lock, and she looks surprised, as if she didn’t realize how close we are.
“I’m here to help. You don’t need to go through this on your own,” I promise her, my voice quiet and earnest.
Her gaze drops to Noah and back to me. “Someone stuck stones in my lawnmower and jammed the blade. That’s why I was sharpening it last week.”
“Does Hudson know about this?”
Her eyes go wide. “No, and you can’t tell him. He’ll camp out in the front yard with a shotgun.”
Someone’s been sabotaging her business, and she’s kept it to herself for a week. Anger spikes that she feels she has to keep it to herself. That she thinks she has to deal with all this alone. And that someone is deliberately targeting her business.
“They’ve come onto your property twice?”
She nods.
Heat flares in my chest, and I clench my fists. My son and the only woman I’ve ever had feelings for are on that property. There is no fucking way I’m leaving them in that house alone when someone is threatening them.
“I’m moving in.”
Paige’s mouth drops open. “You’re what?”
“I’m not leaving you and Noah alone, so either you move into my small, one room unit here, or I’m moving in with you.”
“You can’t be serious? You’re as bad as Hudson.”
I remember Hudson’s words. Paige and Noah’s safety is your responsibility now. I thought he was exaggerating, but this surge of protectiveness in my chest is all real.
“You can’t move in, Ryan. You’ve got to be here for physio and to get treatment.”
She’s right, but this place is just a stepping stone. As long as I can get to my appointments, there’s no need to be here.
“I can live in the community. I’ll get a lift in for my appointments until I figure out how to drive again.”
She shakes her head, and there’s sadness in her eyes. “Ryan. I appreciate the sentiment, but you can’t move in.” She puts her hands on the sides of the chair. “My home isn’t accessible. Until you’re using a prosthetic, you wouldn’t even make it up the steps to get inside.”
Her gaze finds mine, and I see compassion there.
As much as I hate it, she’s right. As long as I’m stuck in this chair, I’m no use to her.
“Fuck.” I slam my hands down on the chair, and she jumps back, while Noah stares at me with wide eyes. “Sorry,” I mutter, feeling even worse for scaring them.
Paige gives me a wry smile. “It’s not the first time he’s heard that word.” She scoops him up and swings him onto her hip. “We need to get going. I’m fine, Ryan, really. I can take care of myself.”
She walks off, and I’m left watching them go. Paige is capable, but she shouldn’t have to take care of herself, not with something like this.
I run a hand down my face and over my stubble. I need to get out of this chair and walking again. I need to get on that prosthetic if I’m going to protect my woman and child.