Eleven
The next couple of days I spend chilling around St Felix.
The beautiful weather holds and I decide to do some sketching along the harbour and up in the cliffs. I’m overjoyed to find that the little hidden nook I loved so much as a teenager is still accessible, so I sit for a while on Friday afternoon partly sketching seabirds – mainly gulls and cormorants – and partly just gazing out at the never-ending seascape that always manages to calm yet energise me at the same time.
As I’m heading back to my parents’ house down through the town, someone calls my name.
‘Frankie! Hey, Frankie!’
I turn to see Mandy rushing towards me along the narrow street.
‘I thought that was you!’ she says, catching me up. ‘How are you?’
We give each other a hug.
‘I’m great, thanks. How are you?’
I haven’t seen Mandy since she left school part way through sixth form. She became fed up with education and decided, against advice, that she was going to go to London and get a job – and that’s exactly what she did. She took a very junior position in an up-and-coming tech firm, and over the last few years has been working her way up the corporate ladder. We tried to get together once when I was down in London on a college trip visiting the many art galleries, but Mandy came down with the flu so she had to cancel.
‘Fabulous! Feels a bit weird being back here again.’
‘Don’t you come back to visit your mum and dad?’
‘Yeah, not as often as I should, though. How about you?’
‘I was last here at Easter.’
‘Ooh, check you out, doing the right thing as usual.’ Mandy smiles.
‘And check you out,’ I say, standing back to look her up and down. ‘Little Miss Corporate. I like your hair like that. It suits you.’
Mandy’s long, wavy dark hair is now cropped into a sharp pixie cut, and, unlike her schoolgirl attire that was always a bit too short and a bit too low cut, today she’s wearing a pair of loose navy trousers, a crew-neck striped top and white plimsolls.
‘Thank you,’ Mandy says, putting her hand to the back of her head where her hair used to sit. ‘I’ve only had it done recently, I’m not that used to it yet. I’m not that corporate, though, am I?’ she asks, looking worried. ‘I thought I’d toned it down for the seaside?’
‘You look very chic,’ I tell her. ‘Unlike me!’
‘But you’re an art student.’ Mandy grins. ‘They’re supposed to be a bit grungy and unwashed, aren’t they?’
‘Hey, less of the unwashed. You sound like my mother!’
Mandy laughs. ‘Oh, it’s good to see you again, Frankie. It’s been too long!’
‘Yes, it has. Where are you heading right now, back into town?’
‘Yeah, I was just taking a wander, seeing if the old place has changed much. And I’m very pleased to report it hasn’t!’
‘Shall we walk back together?’ I ask. ‘Are you heading to your parents’ house?’
‘Sure am! It will be just like the old days – you can drop me back at my house before you carry on up to yours.’
We begin to walk side by side, back through the fishermen’s houses down into the town.
‘Are you coming to the pub tonight to catch up with everyone?’ I ask as we pass yet another terraced house up for sale. I’ve noticed so many For Sale signs in the town on this visit.
‘I am indeed. Seven o’clock, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, so we don’t keep Claire up too late before her big day.’
We give each other a knowing look.
‘Bit young to get married, don’t you think?’ Mandy asks.
I nod. ‘Yeah, but she seems happy.’
‘She does. Were you surprised that Claire didn’t ask us to be bridesmaids?’
‘A bit, I suppose, but I don’t really mind. Claire told me she’d had to ask Jonathan’s sister and two of her nieces, and if she’d asked us she’d have had to ask all of us, not just one, and then she thought Eddie would feel left out.’
‘That’s true. I don’t mind, either – dressing up like a meringue isn’t really my scene these days, as you can probably tell.’
‘ Four Weddings and a Funeral
,’ I say, getting the meringue reference. ‘Yes, you are very Fi-like from that movie.’
Mandy thinks about this. ‘I suppose, and you would be . . . ’
‘Scarlett!’ We both say this at the same time, thinking of the bohemian flatmate of Hugh Grant’s character.
‘I do dress a bit like her, I have to admit,’ I say, shrugging. ‘But when you’re an art student, I feel you’re obliged to dress a little quirky.’
‘And you do it very well!’ Mandy says. ‘I didn’t think I’d like that movie, but I did. It was really good.’
‘Me too. I saw it at the cinema last week. It made me think of Claire while I was watching it. I wonder if the wedding tomorrow will be anything like those weddings?’
‘Hopefully a bit less drama!’
‘And a little less comedy!’ I grin. ‘I’m sure Claire doesn’t want anyone forgetting the rings or the vicar messing up the ceremony. She’s very excited about the whole thing.’
‘So she should be. I only saw her very quickly this morning. I didn’t arrive until late yesterday after I got the last train down from London, so I haven’t had much time to catch up with anyone properly yet. The bonus is my sister is here for a few days too, so I get to catch up with her as well as my parents.’
‘How is little Hetty?’
‘Not so little any more. She’s actually fallen for some local guy, so she’s always back here now. His name is David and he was in the year above us at school, so you might not remember him. My parents are over the moon – at least they get to see one of their offspring regularly.’
‘It’s hard to keep coming back, isn’t it? I mean, I love it here; it’s still so beautiful. But Cornwall is such a long way from Glasgow, it’s a really long journey for me to do regularly.’
‘It’s not too bad from London on the train, but it’s not just the distance, we’re all moving on with our lives. St Felix is our past, not our future. It feels like going backwards every time I’m here. Do you get that?’
‘Not really. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have plans for my future – lots of them. But I don’t think I’ll ever stop returning to St Felix. Even if my parents moved away, I think I’d still visit. It sort of resets me when I spend time here. I feel energised, like I’m ready to tackle whatever comes next.’
‘Nice. I wish I felt like that. It just makes me feel glad I left when I did.’
‘Really?’
Mandy nods. ‘ ’Fraid so. When I look around here, I have lots of memories – some good, some bad. But I also have regrets too.’
‘Like what?’
Mandy shrugs. ‘It doesn’t matter. Like I said, that’s in the past. My life now is in London.’
We’ve reached the top of the close where Mandy’s parents live. ‘I guess I’ll see you later, then,’ I say, pausing.
‘Sure will, I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone again. It will be like the old days.’
I nod and smile, then I carry on up the hill.
Why does everyone keep saying, ‘It will be like the old days.’ Will it? How can it be when we’ve all moved on with our lives? We may only be a few years older, but so much has changed.
Can it really ever be the same as it once was?
It turns out it can.
As close as is possible, anyway.
When we all meet up in the bar of the Merry Mermaid that night, to begin with the conversation is polite, and sometimes a tad stilted, as we all enquire how each other is and catch up on everyone’s news.
It’s just the four of us to begin with: me, Claire, Eddie and Mandy. But around eight o’clock, Suzy surprises us by arriving early.
‘My gig was cancelled due to a flooded toilet,’ she explains. ‘Sadly for the pub, the water escaped into the bar, so they had to close. After the call, I jumped straight in my car and drove as fast as I could get away with, all the way down here.’
Suzy looks so different now. She really has blossomed. Not only is she a taller, slimmer version of the Suzy I used to know, but now she simply oozes both elegance and confidence. Her dark curly hair is smoothed tightly back into a chic ponytail, and she wears a plain and simple outfit of a cream T-shirt, caramel-coloured jeans, and long brown suede boots. She immediately turned a few heads when she walked through the door, and I can imagine she has that same effect wherever she goes. But Suzy being Suzy, she doesn’t appear to notice anything unusual, and even if she does, she doesn’t show it.
‘And guess who I bumped into outside the pub?’ she says, her eyes shining. ‘He wasn’t sure he’d be welcome tonight at our mermaid reunion. But I assured him we’d all welcome him with open arms.’ Suzy gestures towards the door and a tall young man appears, carrying some empty glasses from the tables outside.
‘Rob!’ Eddie says first. ‘Why didn’t you tell us you were already here? You could have joined us earlier.’
Rob smiles. ‘Let me just put these on the bar,’ he says, lifting some glasses. ‘Then I’ll be with you. The pub is really busy tonight, so I’ve just been helping out for a bit.’
I’m suddenly aware that the four joyful faces around the table are all turned towards me.
‘What?’ I ask. ‘It’s only Rob.’
‘How are you all?’ Rob comes over to our table. ‘It’s good to see you again.’
A part of me thinks Rob hasn’t changed a bit since we were at school, and a part of me thinks he looks very different.
Like Suzy, he’s a little taller, and he’s definitely ‘filled out’. His slight frame is now more muscular and broad underneath his white T-shirt, and I can see a shadow across his face where he clearly has to shave away a dark beard. But his hair is still the same – the warm sandy colour I remember admiring so much at school, and his eyes are of course the same deep shade of chocolate brown. And, I’m pleased to see, still look kind and gentle as he casts his gaze around the table at us all. His eyes rest upon me.
‘Hello, Frankie,’ he says quietly. ‘It’s been a while.’
‘Yes,’ I reply, not liking how my stomach is reacting to this interaction one bit – it seems to think now is a good time to take up internal gymnastics once more. ‘It has been. Are you well?’ I hear a polite voice enquiring, making me sound like I’m in a Jane Austen novel.
Rob smiles. ‘Yes, very well, and you?’
‘Yep, I’m great, thanks.’
There’s silence while we make this short exchange.
‘Rob, come and sit down.’ Mandy gestures to an empty chair next to her. ‘Are you happy perching on that stool, Suzy?’
‘Let me get a round of drinks in first,’ Rob says. ‘On the house!’
Once Rob has got us all a drink, we settle around the table.
There’s a quick update on what everyone has been up to for those who have arrived late. Then it’s not long before the formalities end and we all fall into our past roles once more.
‘I still can’t believe one of us is getting married,’ Suzy says, looking at Claire. ‘I still feel like I did when I was fifteen.’
‘You don’t look much like you did back then,’ Claire says, once again deflecting talk about her wedding. I get the feeling she doesn’t want to seem different to the rest of us this evening. ‘You look amazing! Being a singer obviously suits you.’
‘Thank you, kind friend,’ Suzy says. ‘But I’m not sure I’ll be doing it much longer.’
‘Why?’ I ask ‘You’re so good. What’s changed?’
‘I have. It’s time I started making a difference – using my voice for something other than singing.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Rob asks.
‘I’ve been offered a job working for Tony Blair,’ she says quietly.
‘The politician?’ Eddie asks.
‘The new leader of the Labour Party – yes. It’s only a very junior position. But I hope it might be the start of a career in politics.’
‘Wow, politics is a bit different to singing,’ I say. ‘But that’s what you said you always wanted to do – make a difference.’
Suzy nods.
‘They think he might be the new prime minister, don’t they?’ Mandy says. ‘I’ve got a mate who works at the Houses of Parliament. They reckon he’s a shoo-in if he plays it right at the next election.’
‘That’s a while away yet,’ Suzy says. ‘But that’s the plan, I’ve been told. It’s a very exciting prospect.’
‘Gosh, you’re all doing so much with your lives, while I’m still at art college,’ I say. ‘I feel a bit left behind.’
‘I’m still at uni too,’ Rob says, holding up his hand.
‘Even you’re at Cambridge University.’
‘But you’re at the Glasgow School of Art,’ Rob says. ‘Home of the famous Charles Rennie Mackintosh. I heard it’s a pretty big deal in the world of art colleges.’
I’m surprised he knows which college I’m at. I only talked tonight about being based in Glasgow.
‘Some say,’ I reply bashfully. ‘I like it there.’
‘I’m hardly flying high in the world of business.’ Mandy grimaces. ‘You should see where I live. My block of flats is pretty grim.’
‘Travelling the country with a small theatre company isn’t exactly glamorous,’ Eddie admits. ‘We stay in some dreadful digs. But it’s fun most of the time.’
‘And none of you think I should be getting married tomorrow,’ Claire pipes up. ‘I know you all think I’m far too young to be settling down – so I think that trumps all of you!’
There’s a chorus of ‘No’ and ‘Of course we don’t think that!’ around the table.
‘Come on.’ Claire is shaking her head. ‘Just be honest. I know Frankie thinks I’m too young – she told me so the other day.’
I feel my cheeks flush red as the others look at me. ‘No, I said I wouldn’t want to be doing it. But it’s clearly making you very happy – and that’s what matters, not what I think.’
Mandy nods. ‘Exactly. It wouldn’t be for everyone. But then we’re all different. We may have been friends at school, but our lives are clearly all taking very unique paths right now. Claire, your wedding has given us a reason to meet up again. If it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t be here now.’
There’s silence around the table as it dawns on all of us that this might never happen again. What reason would we all have to meet up again like this in the future?
‘Then we should enjoy what time we have together both this evening and tomorrow!’ Eddie says, raising his glass. ‘In case it’s our last time!’
‘No, don’t say that, Eddie,’ Claire says forlornly. ‘I like to think we’ll always have a reason to get together again in the future. Maybe not as often as we’d like, but we should at least try.’
‘She’s right,’ Suzy says. ‘I’d hate to think I’d lose touch with any of you. If only there was some way we could keep in touch without having to physically meet up. That would be great.’
‘The company I work for thinks within ten years or so everyone will have access to the internet,’ Mandy says. ‘You’ve heard of the internet, right?’
Rob nods. But the rest of us look blank.
‘It’s a new thing that’s going to work through computers,’ Rob says. ‘I have a mate at uni who’s into all this tech stuff. There’s going to be all sorts of pages you can look at and get information and stuff – like a massive great encyclopaedia.’
‘It’s to be called the World Wide Web,’ Mandy explains. ‘It’s going to be huge. It will launch officially later this year. But it’s already there if you know where to find it.’
‘It all sounds a bit like War Games
,’ I say. ‘You know that movie with Matthew Broderick we all rented from the video shop one Saturday night, and you all came round to my house to watch it because my parents were away.’
‘Oh, yeah, about the guy that hacks into the Pentagon’s computer and nearly starts World War Three?’ Claire says. ‘I liked that one.’
‘You liked Matthew Broderick, you mean,’ I say, teasing her. ‘You got your brother to rent Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
after that, and you insisted we all watched it at your house.’
‘We didn’t all have posters of rock stars on our wall when we were teenagers,’ Claire good-naturedly reminds me. ‘Anyway, I don’t remember any of you complaining too much? Especially Eddie – he made us play it again that night, if I remember rightly.’
Eddie nods. ‘I did. Matthew Broderick was very cute – still is, actually. But I thought that first movie was about a computer that developed its own personality and messed with its owner’s life?’
‘No, that was Electric Dreams
,’ Rob says. ‘I remember my older sisters renting that one and letting me watch it with them.’
‘ Anyway
,’ Mandy says, shaking her head. ‘When you’ve all finished your trip down memory lane . . . ’ She smiles. ‘The internet is what will let us keep in touch with each other in the future. There’s going to be something called email, where you can write and then send the equivalent of letters, but on a computer instead.’
‘But that would mean everyone having a computer,’ Eddie says. ‘They’ll have to be a lot cheaper than they are now for that to happen.’
‘The people at my company seem to think they will be,’ Mandy assures us.
‘How do you know all this?’ I ask. ‘It sounds like a lot of it is classified information?’
‘Maybe Mandy is this decade’s Matthew Broderick?’ Rob says, grinning. ‘Just don’t start World War Three, will you?’
Mandy grimaces. ‘Funny! No, I’ve just listened and read a lot since I’ve been in this job. You learn a lot of interesting stuff that way. Not only do they think everyone will have a computer, they reckon within fifteen to twenty years we’ll all be carrying phones that can do virtually the same thing as computers too.’
‘Will we all be riding hoverboards as well?’ Eddie asks. ‘Like in the second Back to the Future
film – another of our video rentals! And will we be talking to each other over screens like Marty McFly did?’
‘It’s a definite possibility,’ Mandy says.
‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ Eddie concedes. ‘Well, guys, if that’s the case we won’t have to worry about meeting up, it seems we’ll be able to do it all remotely.’
‘But until then,’ Suzy says, ‘we should try to make an effort to keep in touch with each other. Even if it’s just the occasional phone call or letter.’
‘Yes, let’s toast to that,’ I say and we all raise our glasses. ‘To keeping in touch with each other for a long time to come!’
‘And to making sure it doesn’t take one of us to get married for the Misfit Mermaids to remain friends,’ Claire adds before we can take a drink.
‘To friendship!’ Rob says, and as we all take a long drink from our glasses. I can’t help but notice his gaze remains steadily upon me.
As we leave the pub that night, we’re all in high spirits.
Claire reluctantly left us earlier in the evening. Sensible as always, she knew a late night in the local pub was not the best way to prepare for your wedding the next day.
The rest of us all stayed on until closing time, reminiscing about old times and passing on any gossip we knew from our various siblings or parents about people we used to know.
We realise we’ve fallen into our old habit of walking everyone to their house one by one. As we say goodnight, we’re all looking forward to another day spent with our fellow mermaids, both at Claire’s wedding in the afternoon, and afterwards at her reception at a hotel in St Felix.
Without Claire in our posse, after we say goodnight to Mandy, it’s just me and Rob.
‘That was a fun night,’ Rob says as we walk up the hill together. ‘Great to see everyone again.’
‘Yes, it was. I’m so glad Claire could make it. She’d have been gutted if she’d missed out.’
‘Do you really think she’s too young to be getting married?’ Rob asks.
‘Yes, I suppose so. But she’s happy and that’s all that matters, isn’t it? Not what we think.’
‘Indeed. You’ve met Jonathan, haven’t you?’
‘Yeah, at Easter. He seems like a nice guy, and you can tell he loves Claire.’
‘Can you? How?’
I hadn’t expected this question, so I’m momentarily caught off guard.
‘Er . . . you just can. He can’t keep his eyes off her for one thing, and she seems so happy when he’s around. Like he makes everything complete for her. It’s quite lovely to witness actually.’
There’s a moment of silence before Rob says, ‘Good, then I’m pleased for her.’
‘Me too.’ I pause for a moment. ‘Why did you ask that?’
‘I just wondered, that’s all. So, is there a budding Mr Right in your life yet?’ Rob asks, and I feel like he’s changing the subject.
‘No, not right now. What about you?’
‘No Mr Right.’ Rob grins.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I broke up with my last girlfriend a few months ago. I quite like being single right now, to be honest. I’ve got a lot on this last year of uni, with exams and my dissertation.’
‘Me too. We have a big final show of our artwork that’s quite a large percentage of our final grade. Not really any time for relationships. Right, this is me.’ We’ve arrived at the top of our road.
‘I do remember,’ Rob says, glancing down the street. ‘I remember a lot of things from back then.’
‘Good times,’ I reply quickly. ‘Happy memories.’
‘Very happy . . . It’s been really good to see you again tonight, Frankie. Really good.’
Rob looks into my eyes, and I’m shocked at how I feel when he does.
‘So . . . I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then, at the wedding?’ Rob says when I don’t speak.
‘Uh-huh . . . ’ I whisper, as I just about manage to take control of my voice once more. ‘I’ll be there.’
I stand awkwardly on the pavement, not really knowing what to do. How is Rob having this effect on me again, after all these years?
Pull yourself together, Frankie!
‘Goodnight, Rob.’ I manage to say in a voice that sounds vaguely normal.
‘See you tomorrow, Frankie.’ Rob winks.
I manage to reclaim control of my legs now, and I begin to walk down the road towards my old house – a small part of me feeling like I don’t really belong here any more, but, quite unexpectedly, a much larger part of me feeling like I’m fifteen again, and I’ve never been away . . .