Chapter 8
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Our stubborn bundle of joy didn’t want to cooperate for Nurse Barton. As she moved the handheld probe around on my belly, the baby moved in the opposite direction. It was a funny game of keep-away.
The baby had become more active lately, their kicks strengthening. Each wriggle and movement was a lot more noticeable. Sometimes, I wondered if the baby was even performing somersaults in there, or as I called it, roly-polies.
“Stubborn,” I said, turning my head to look at Dominic. “Just like their father.”
He arched his brow, giving me a playful look. I laughed, winking. Julie laughed a little, her focus staying on the ultrasound screen.
Julie fiddled around further with the buttons on the machine, taking measurements, capturing some frames for us in between so we could have pictures. I requested at least one picture at every ultrasound. She hadn’t talked much aside from walking us through what she was doing, and I took that as good news. The baby’s weight was always in the back of my mind, however. Would I be strong enough to endure childbirth?
“Would you like to listen to the heartbeat?”
Without hesitation, I nodded. Our baby’s heart was one of my most favorite sounds. And Dominic’s reaction to it always warmed my heart. I held out my hand, and he grabbed it in both of his, smiling alongside me. Our baby’s heartbeat sounded stronger with each scan. More robust. Julie turned the ultrasound screen toward us, allowing us to see our baby’s heart beating. It was incredible.
“Would you like to know what you’re having?”
I looked at Dominic again. He looked at me, his eyes inviting. Soft. He nodded once, and I nodded in return, smiling. Staring at him, I made my decision.
“We do.”
The seconds of silence felt like minutes.
“It’s a boy.”
Dominic’s eyes widened, his smile growing. “A son,” he said to himself. He brought my hand to his lips, kissing my hand.
Happy tears made their way to my eyes. A boy. I was having a boy. I was giving Dominic a son. I couldn’t have been happier. Dominic leaned closer and kissed me, thanking me. I kissed him again, a tear slipping from the corner of my eye.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Bellissima .” He sat back in the chair, my hand still in his. He didn’t want to let me go yet.
“Your son is thriving to the fullest,” Julie said, drawing my attention back to her. “I don’t see any issues or abnormalities on the scan or in your bloodwork. You’re doing a great job, Lilith.”
Before she could turn the screen back toward her, I caught our boy sucking his thumb. Laughing, I said, “Oh, my goodness.” Dominic and Julie laughed.
“I’ll get a picture of that too for you.”
“We appreciate it,” Dominic said.
Julie turned off the ultrasound machine and put the probe back into its holder. She then began wiping the gel off my stomach.
“I’ll have some paperwork for you before you leave, along with your pictures. It’s just copies of your labs and everything I checked for at today’s scan, as well as some handy information about this stage of your pregnancy.” Both Dominic and Julie helped me sit up, my feet dangling over the side of the exam table. With her hand on my shoulder, she said, “Let me go and get that stuff for you, and then we can go over any questions or concerns you might have before you leave.”
I nodded as she left the room, turning my attention to my best friend. He cradled my exposed belly in his hands, bending down to kiss it before resting his ear against it, listening. I threaded my fingers through his hair. “I wish we could hold him right now,” I said.
Dominic felt around the side of my belly, giving it another kiss. Our son kicked in response, garnering a laugh from his daddy.
My heart and soul were warm and tingly. Since our last appointment, when Julie asked about finding out the gender, Dominic had mentioned that while a healthy baby was the goal, he wished for a son. So did I, and I had secretly felt that we were having a boy for these past few weeks. I couldn’t explain it. Call it mother’s intuition. We both had gotten our wish, and all I wanted to do was shout my happiness from the rooftop.
“I love you so much,” Dominic told me as he leaned close, his arms at my sides. He kissed me between my eyes, resting his forehead to mine.
“I love you, too, Dominic.”
Julie walked back inside, interrupting our moment. Dominic started to back up, but I grabbed his shirt, holding him close, whispering, “No.”
Dominic took the paperwork from Julie and the photographs in their protective envelope. She did that each visit to make sure the photographs didn’t risk getting bent or damaged. Julie brought the chair Dominic had sat in over to where she was and had a seat. We both looked at her, taking in every word. I kept a hold of Dominic’s shirt, anxious. I was always anxious when hearing anything about our baby. I knew nothing was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I learned the hard way over time that life could change in the blink of an eye.
“Before we talk about any questions you might have, I just wanted to let you know you’re still measuring slightly ahead, and with the labs normal and your son healthy, there's nothing to worry about. It seems he’ll just be a bigger baby.”
My stomach sank as I put my hands on my belly. I was glad he was healthy, but I was scared to face the reality of pushing out a large child. Would I tear? Would his size cause problems during labor? Would he get stuck? Would I wimp out in the middle of pushing and give up? God, I hoped not. I wished I didn’t have to go through childbirth, that I could wave a magic wand and he would just be here.
I pulled Dominic closer and rested the side of my face against his chest, just wanting to feel him right now. Smell him. He held me, rubbing my back.
“Are you okay, Lilith?” Julie asked.
“She’s nervous,” Dominic answered for me, which I was thankful for. He cupped the back of my head in his hand, kissing the top of it. “Scared,” he went on, telling Julie.
“I understand,” Julie said. “Try not to stress yourself though, Lilith. I know that’s much easier said than done, however.”
“How big will he be?” I asked her.
“I can’t say with any certainty. Ultrasounds are notorious for being off in predicting weight. Your belly is measuring at twenty-one weeks, so a week ahead, which isn’t excessive. The scan tells me he weighs eleven ounces and is measuring seven inches long. You could say he's the size of a banana or a sweet potato.”
I moved away from Dominic’s chest, looking up at him. He cupped my cheeks in his palms, getting near nose to nose.
“Don’t be scared. You have the finest medical care money can buy. Everything will be fine.”
“He’s right,” Julie agreed. “Everything will be just fine. If any concerns do arise in the next few weeks, then we’ll discuss it, but for right now, I’m not worried.”
Nodding, I wiped the bit of tears that lined my eyes as I distanced myself from Dominic. I used my arms for support, taking a deep breath.
“Did you have anything you wanted to talk about further? Anything you want more details on or any concerns?”
I nodded. “My back and hips have really been hurting me lately. It even goes down into my groin.”
Julie nodded in understanding.
“It’s worse when I get up in the morning and move around or when I’m just standing. Sometimes when I cough or sneeze, it hurts, too.”
“Any bleeding, severe cramps, or unusual pain anywhere?” Julie asked. I shook my head. “Are you leaking any fluid?” I shook my head again. “It’s classic round ligament pain, and unfortunately, as your baby grows, it’ll only get worse. As your uterus gets bigger, those muscles and ligaments will also grow and stretch, causing the pain.
“I suggest taking up some light exercise such as walking, swimming, or maybe even yoga or Pilates. There are safe yoga and Pilates exercises for pregnant women. Any of those suggestions will help make those muscles and ligaments stronger and may help ease some of the pain and discomfort, as crazy as that may sound.” She chuckled. “Strengthening those muscles and ligaments will definitely help when it comes time to deliver.”
I didn’t want to think about delivery.
“For relief at night, try buying a pregnancy pillow if you don’t already have one, or put a regular pillow or two between your legs while you sleep. It’ll help to align your spine, easing the discomfort.”
My pregnancy pillow was my everything, and I intended to use it long past delivery. I was mad at myself for not buying one before I even got pregnant, although that might have gotten me strange looks from Dominic.
“If that’s all you wanted to discuss, I’ll go ahead and schedule your next appointment, and if you’d like, I can also email you some recommended exercises you can easily do at home.”
“I think I’m all set,” I expressed, leaning myself again against Dominic.
“Sounds good,” Julie said. “Let me go ahead and get you a new appointment card.” She stood up and put the chair back in its original spot before writing the information for my next appointment. When she came back over, she handed Dominic the card. “I’ll see the three of you in four weeks. Like always, if you need to reschedule, just let me know. If any concerns or questions should arise, call me.”
Dominic and Julie shook hands. “Thank you, Julie.” They dropped their hands. “Have you given any thought to my offer of working here full-time?”
“I’m still mulling it over, Mr. Rosini. I apologize.”
“No need,” he said. “And please, call me Dominic.”
“Of course,” she said. “If that’s all, I’ll see you next month.” After our goodbyes, Julie left the room.
Looking up at Dominic, I asked, “Carry me?”
He handed me the pictures and paperwork and scooped me up in his arms, walking us out of the exam room.
On our journey through the basement, I opened the envelope containing the pictures and pulled them out.
Watching our son grow so much so fast was remarkable to witness. It was all still surreal. I smiled widely at the picture of him sucking his thumb. I was glad to capture such a moment. He showed off his feet, too. It was cute.
We can’t wait to hold you and cuddle you and kiss you, my sweet boy. We love you so much.
“It’s amazing. He looks so much different in just a month. Time is flying by so fast… It’s kind of scary.”
“Watching you nurture our unborn is what’s amazing,” Dominic said.
My stomach did its nervous dance the longer I looked at the photos. Four months… That was all I had left of this pregnancy. I bit the inside of my lip, putting the pictures back in the envelope. I held my belly as Dominic climbed the basement steps, blowing out a silent breath.
“Are you okay, Bellissima ? I can feel you shaking.”
“I’m scared everything will go horribly wrong.” I buried my face in his shirt. “I’m scared me or the baby won’t… I’m scared we won’t make it.”
Dominic walked into our room and set me on my feet. He then closed the door and stepped up to me. “Lilith,” he said, slipping his fingers under my chin and moving my head. He didn’t speak at first, only stared. He then slid his hand along the side of my face, brushing it with the pad of his thumb.
“I know you’re afraid. I guess I am, too. Fear of the unknown will eat you alive if you let it. You can’t allow yourself to suffer when neither you nor I can predict the future. We can only take life one day at a time, and since Julie has no concerns, neither do I, and neither should you.”
Until I met Dominic, the last people that made me feel safe with just their words were my parents. I leaned into Dominic, bringing my hands to his chest and holding his shirt as he held me in his arms. He was my safe place. When he held me, I always knew everything would be fine.
“Why don’t you get some rest? It’s been a tiring morning.”
He wasn’t wrong. Between my morning shower, my ultrasound, and my physical examination before the scan, I was pooped, but then, I remembered my commitment to Katrina.
“I promised Katrina I’d take her shopping, and I wanted to visit that new thrift store that just opened.” I looked up at him. “I wanted to find some new shirts and some leggings and maybe see what they have for baby stuff.”
“You can but after a nap. Rest is more important.”
There was no point in arguing with him, so I sighed and nodded.
“Okay, but please wake me up for lunch. I’ll take Katrina and I out somewhere to eat. I know she’s been asking for a Happy Meal? for the longest time, and a burger and fries sounds like heaven.”
A chuckle vibrated deep in Dominic’s chest. “I will.”
“And Dominic, please don’t tell anyone yet that we’re having a boy. I want us to do that together.”
“Understood.” He let me go and took my hand. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”