Chapter 38
Thursday, June 6, 2019
Bahamas
No matter how many times I pinched myself, I didn’t wake up. Because this wasn’t a dream. Staring out at the resort’s manicured landscape, this was a reality I never thought possible. I figured winning millions in the lottery would’ve come true first.
In less than an hour, Bianca was going to escort me down the aisle to marry my best friend.
“Mommy! Mommy!”
Smiling, I turned around to face Vincenzo, who was running toward me as fast as his little legs could go. When he roughly collided with my legs, he reached up, making grabbing motions for me to pick him up.
Bianca appeared in the doorway of where me and my bridal party were getting ready, an amused look on her face coupled with an expression that said she tried to catch her grandson but wasn’t fast enough to foil his mission.
I bent over and picked up my son, securing him to my hip for a more comfortable hold. He snuggled into my arm, gripping the fabric of my robe.
“I turned my back for one second,” Bianca said.
Laughing, I told her it was fine. I was going to be holding Vincenzo as I walked down the aisle anyhow, but I did need her or Katrina to at least keep him occupied for a little longer so I could get into my dress.
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?”
“I want to see the fish.”
The hotel lobby had an aquarium, and Vincenzo was mesmerized by the different breeds of fish in the tank.
“Mimi will take you to see them later, I promise, but for right now, you need to stay with her until we’re ready to go outside. Okay?”
“Okay, Mommy.”
I motioned for Bianca to take him, and luckily, he didn’t put up a fuss. Normally, he was my shadow back at home.
I walked back over to the wide, tall span of bay windows overlooking the garden and some of the beach surrounding the hotel, shaking some with anxiety. The more the clock ticked, the worse my nerves wrung in knots.
The hustle and bustle of the staff weren’t doing any favors.
My right hand shook as I brought it to my front. I released a steadied, drawn-out breath. I was grateful to have my mother-in-law accompany me down the aisle, but I would’ve rather had my father do it. Or my mother or Nadia. I swallowed the tears that began threatening me, shaking my head of those depressing thoughts.
Today was supposed to be the best day of my life, and I intended to let nothing and no one spoil it. Besides… I had yet to reveal my surprise.
Katrina entered the room and begged to take Vincenzo from who she also called Mimi now instead of just B. They went off into the hallway, leaving me and Bianca alone.
“Are you okay?” she pondered.
I nodded. “Just praying I don’t trip over my feet or send us both to the ground.”
She placed her hands on my shoulder, seeing right through what I said.
“What else, honey? You can tell me.”
I shook my head, worried if I let her into my head, I would end up ruining my makeup.
“Can I take a guess?” She touched my loose curls, tucking some of my hair behind my ear.
Knowing I would’ve felt better letting out my feelings instead of locking them in a box, I said, “I wish…” I swallowed the tears lodged in my throat. “I wish my parents could be here.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I lied, looking at her. “At least I have you.”
She wrapped me in her arms, resting her face on my shoulder. We both looked out the window.
“You and Vincenzo are the best thing that happened to my son, you know that?”
I smiled, silently agreeing.
“You’ve helped each other see so much of this world and yourselves. Whenever you talk about each other, the sparks are still there. I don’t think he ever would’ve found peace within himself if it weren’t for you.”
I laughed nervously. “You’re gonna make me cry.” She was dead on though.
Every word she spoke was how I felt about Dominic. If it weren’t for him, I had no idea where I’d be. What my life would’ve been like. We’ve helped each other grow and learn and open our hearts, breaking through our stone walls. Fighting our demons. I still got butterflies around him. His kisses or just his touch still electrified me down to my toes. We were each other’s rock and protector. He reminded me I wasn’t alone in this world and that I was deserving of love, just as he was. I showed him not everyone hated him, that beneath the surface of what was ingrained and taught was a man that still had a heart of gold. He just needed help rediscovering himself past the darkness.
“I’m glad he has you, Lilith.”
“And he's glad he has you , too.”
“I hope so,” she said, a subtle pang of sadness in her voice.
Steering away from the road of somber memories we were headed on, I said, “I don’t think I've ever been so nervous.”
“Not even with Vincenzo?”
“Well… Okay, yeah, maybe.” We laughed. “But at least I know what to expect this time around.”
I waited patiently for Bianca to catch on, stifling my laugh at the wide-eyed look she gave me, cracking a smile when she gasped.
“Ten weeks,” I revealed before she could ask. “And no, Dominic doesn’t know.”
Cupping her hands over her mouth, Bianca squealed, resisting the urge to jump up and down.
“Congratulations!” She placed her hand on my belly. “Oh, Lilith, honey. Oh, my goodness.”
I laughed.
“How are you feeling?” Her expression changed to one of immediate concern. “You’re not nauseous, are you? Dizzy? Do you need anything?”
I turned us so we were facing each other, and I grasped her hands, controlling my laughter.
“All I need today is you and everyone else that's here with us. And no, this baby isn't kicking my butt like Vincenzo did.”
We let go of each other's hands and hugged.
She rubbed her hand up and down my back. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
A voice sounded from the doorway—my flower girl.
“Mom, when can we eat that cake?”
Bianca and I burst out laughing, pulling away from each other in the process.
I looked around the room, reality really beginning to set in now. Today, I was officially becoming Mrs. Rosini. The wife of a mafia boss. Co-owner of an empire. Oh. My. God.
“I can’t believe I'm about to do this,” I breathed, shaking my hands like something was on them.
Once again putting her hand on my shoulder, Bianca asked Katrina to shut the door and had her and Vincenzo enter further into the room. Bianca held her grandson as she gathered us in a circle.
“I just want to say a short prayer, if that’s alright.”
I nodded. I wasn’t much into organized religion, but I did believe in God and respected anyone else’s beliefs.
We all closed our eyes and bowed our heads.
“Lord, we ask that you bless Lilith and Dominic on this day, and please help ward off anything that could disrupt this ceremony. Shower us with your love, protection, peace, and happiness. We thank you. Lord, for today. In Jesus’s name, amen.”
“Amen,” Katrina and I said in unison.
We opened our eyes.
“Lilith, I’m so proud to call you my daughter. Thank you for sticking by him.” Bianca and I hugged again. After we separated, she remembered something, like a lightbulb went off. “We need to find you something old and something new and something borrowed and something blue!” She scanned the room, going over and picking up the scarlet chiffon shawl she planned to wear with her dress. With Katrina’s assistance, they draped it around my shoulders.
“That’s so pretty,” Katrina admired.
“This is yours,” I reminded Bianca.
She shook her head. “You wear it. Please.”
Smiling, I nodded.
“Take my silver bracelet, too, honey. That can be the old.”
“What about blue and new?” Katrina asked.
Bianca and I shared a knowing look.
“I already have the new,” I cryptically said. Katrina brought her eyebrows together. I brushed my hand across her cheek. “I’ll explain after the ceremony.” I swept some of her hair over her shoulder, tucking it behind her ear. “Maybe they have a blue flower here somewhere.”
“I’ll go check!” she said, but Bianca stopped her before she could leave.
“Let’s finish getting ready. We still need to get Lilith into her dress.”
Show time.
* * *
“Just take it one step at a time,” Bianca advised. With my arm hooked around hers, I squeezed her arm tight, like if I let go, it would all fall apart.
“I’m really regretting that bottle of water.”
My gut twisted in unforgiving knots as the processional boomed through the speakers. I stared down at my open-toed flats, my mouth becoming dry at the idea of being the center of attention. Cold feet. I knew it was ridiculous. I loved this man. I would’ve taken a million bullets for him. Jumped in front of a moving train. So, why was the thought of repeating vows of love and honor the scariest thing in the world right now?
I heard his professions of love for me. Read his letter, which I kept secured in my journal. I saw how much he came out of his shell and knocked down his walls, how entering his life made him search deep within himself to see the man that was there all along just beneath the surface of the monster he swore to be. That he swore I should’ve run from. Joke was on him… I never saw a monster. I was never afraid—well, once it was established why he snatched me out of New York. He could’ve skipped the sedative, but that was neither here nor there.
I saw a man in pain from the beatings of life and the absence of endearment. He had a hard time seeing the truths outside of that morally corrupt bubble, and when he had to face how I felt about him and how I saw him, he also had to face the bullshit fed to him by those with agendas against his best interests.
That saving grace was also mine.
Sunlight that any photographer would’ve killed to score on such a special occasion brought out the beauty of Versailles Gardens on Paradise Island. We agreed on marrying in the Bahamas, though not without worry of just having an outdoor wedding. I didn’t want to exchange vows in a church. That would’ve felt more insincere than me wearing a white dress… But I couldn’t ignore the strapless ivory, satin, Maggie Sottero gown when I saw it. With a crisscross bodice, it was to die for. The thigh-length slit on the left side was the perfect touch of naughtiness for my taste. I chose what was described as a garden-inspired, chapel-length veil to go with my dress, the floral lace fitting. I threw in a pair of satin, fingerless, ivory gloves for extra flare.
A staff member signaled that it was my turn to walk the aisle, and my heart could’ve exploded from my chest then and there. My pulse raced. My temperature rose. I started to quake like I was cold.
“Please don’t let me fall.”
Bianca gently squeezed my hand. We looked at each other, her reassuring eyes a comfort.
“I’ve got you. Just hold on to me, and you’ll be okay. There's nothing to be afraid of.” We took our first steps forward, sights ahead, when she added, “Not today.”
We passed many tiers of eye-popping gardens and more manicured landscape. The lush grass and gardens stretched out through the piece of property where the ceremony was being held. The tropical trees and flowers gave it a nice, pleasing twist.
Just ahead stood a decorated, flower-drenched, giant, stone archway. Ancient stone statues were scattered about, adding to the glorious backdrop. Various lily ponds gave the grounds an added oomph.
When we rounded the corner, all the guests, ranging from our entire staff and their families to the other two families of New Jersey, stood up from their chairs.
But the only beautiful sight I could focus on—that stole my breath—was Dominic. Wearing a black suit with thin, red pinstripes, a rose in his lapel, he stood watching me with his hands clasped together at his waist. His hair was gelled back, and the closer I got to the platform, the more it looked like he was about to cry.
His brothers, starting with Dino as his best man, stood in formation behind him. They looked strapping in their tuxedos, all of them inevitably strapped as well. Bianca stood on the bride’s side as my maid of honor, alongside Katrina, who accepted the role of both my bridesmaid and flower girl. To some, the inadequacy of how many were in my party versus Dominic’s was off-putting, but I didn’t want to just throw anyone into those sacred roles. If I had an uneven number, then so be it.
The guests smiled and awed over me and my mother-in-law as we trekked further down the red-carpeted aisle. Pink, white, and red rose petals decorated the aisle runner and the stone archway I would soon be standing beneath.
My son behaved in my hold, his arms around my neck, looking out at the crowd.
My hold on Bianca tightened as we reached the stone steps. We unlinked arms so she could help me lift my dress, and as I took my first step, it was as if Dominic secretly read my mind. He stepped forward and extended his hand. I happily slipped my clammy one inside of his. Bianca moved out of the way after we reached the top, helping another staff member tend to my veil and train.
“Who will be giving you away today?” our officiate, Janet, kindly asked me. Bianca lifted my veil, then clasped my hand back in hers.
“I will,” she lovingly declared, and then, we kissed each other’s cheeks. She lowered my veil and then took a thankfully calm Vincenzo out of my arm as Dominic and I took our positions in front of Janet, holding hands, face to face.
“ Bellissima ,” he greeted.
That feeling of safety and security enshrouded itself around me the longer I stood in front of my husband. Our officiate addressed the audience, but all I focused on was the father of our children. My hero and best friend. His tender, inviting smile. His cool hands.
There was nothing in the world we wanted more than right here, right now.
“Who will be handing over the rings?” Janet asked. Her question pulled me out of the tunnel vision I had trapped myself into.
Dominic and I let go of each other’s hands as I watched Dino take both rings from inside his breast pocket. He handed them to Janet, stepping back into place behind his brother. He gave a thumbs up, showing off a playful smile.
All of us shared a collective laugh.
Janet handed Dominic my ring.
“Dominic, do you take Lilith to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” Dominic declared with pride.
“Please go ahead and slip Lilith’s ring on her finger.”
He lifted my hand like it was a fragile piece of glass, sliding my ring onto my finger with ease. Like my engagement ring, it had a silver band, but instead of just having one diamond, it was set with four smaller diamonds.
Dominic kissed my knuckles, releasing me as Janet handed me his ring.
“Lilith, do you take Dominic to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” I declared, smiling.
As I slid the simple, gold band around his finger with an engraving of “To my King” on its underside, I gained enough courage to add a little something extra, keeping a firm hold of his hand.
“With this ring, I give you my heart. You’ll never walk alone.”
“I love you,” he simply whispered, reclaiming both my hands in his.
“I understand you both have written your own vows to add?” Janet asked. We both nodded, gazing into each other’s eyes. “Who would like to go first?”
“I will,” Dominic volunteered.
“Thank you,” I mouthed.
He cleared his throat.
“My love, having to put into words how much I love you, how much I’m dedicated to you… It’s impossible… But I’ll try. These past years have been a whirlwind. But the ride was easier to take with you at my side. We’ve seen and done things which one cannot fathom. We’ve been tested more times than I care to count. But I feel it has made us stronger than ever before. You’ve dealt with me at my best and certainly at my worst. You’ve proven time and time again how incredible you are. How dedicated and true you are. Just look at our son.”
I briefly flitted my eyes to his chest, smiling, and then found his eyes again.
“You’re a hell of a mother and more than I could ever ask for in a partner. As I look back, I feel everything that has transpired in my life has led me directly to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my many regrets. Everything. And whenever you’re around me, my past seems worth it. Because if I chose to do one thing differently, I never would’ve met you. And I never would’ve understood the meaning of the word happy.”
Tears reached my eyes.
“Lilith, I can’t promise that dark clouds will never hover over our lives. I can’t promise you that tomorrow will be perfect and that this life will be easy. But what I can promise you is to forever love and cherish you. I promise my everlasting devotion and loyalty for a lifetime. I promise that I will always be here for you, to listen and to hold your hand, and to always do my best to make you happy. I’ll see and guide you through any crisis, pray with you, dream with you, build with you, and always cheer you on and encourage you. I promise that I’ll willingly be your protector, your advisor, counselor, your friend, your family. Your everything. I promise and solemnly vow to protect my family however necessary and to make sure all of you never want for anything. I’ll stand by you through the bad, the good, the sick… Whatever it is you need me to stand at your side for. God damn it, Lilith, I love you, and I promise you.”
“Wow.” I stumbled with my words, wiping away my tears. “How do I top that?” Everyone laughed. “Forgive me… I’m not great at public speaking.”
I lowered my head, fighting to find more courage. Dominic slipped his fingers beneath my chin and tilted my head back so I had to look at him.
“Don’t be nervous. Just focus on me.” He then lowered his arm.
Blowing out a breath, I did the best I could.
“Dominic, I’ve never heard such sweeter words in my life other than when you tell me you love me. You make me smile every second of every day. When I first saw you… I was just a wee bit freaked out, but when I got to know you… The real you… I saw the side I know most rarely get to see, if at all. And that’s a man of integrity, honor, and quite the romantic, if I do say so myself.”
Our guests got a kick out of that last line.
“Your love knows no bounds. You bend over backward for those you love, and even though you run a successful business, you always have time for me, Vincenzo,” I placed my other hand on my belly, revealing my surprise, “and for our soon-to-be bundle of joy.”
As the crowd gasped and erupted into cheers and clapping, Dino freaking out like a kid on Christmas morning. Dominic’s mouth fell open in shock, his eyes lit with joy.
Once the crowd quieted, I finished up.
“You are my soulmate. You and our children are my reason for waking up in the morning. My reason for putting my best foot forward every day. My reason for living. I didn’t fall in love with you; I walked into love with you. Well, okay, maybe we didn’t see eye to eye at first ,”—we chuckled at my inside joke—“but I believe in fate and destiny, and what I believe the most is that we’re fated to do the things we choose, no matter what. And I’d choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, and in any version of reality. I constantly choose you again and again when I wake up and when I fall asleep. I happily choose you to succeed with and to fight and make up with and to love and grow old with.
“I promise to love and cherish you, to stand by you through thick and thin, and every bleepin’ thing in between. I promise to be your one and only, your lover and your friend, to endure until the end. I promise to listen to you and nurture you, to share and never ever give up on you, to fulfill your every need the best I can, and walk beside you hand in hand. I promise to help you continue to succeed, to give you your room to grow, and to tend to you when you’re sick. I’ll build you up when you’re low.” I took a breath and gathered my final thoughts. “Dominic Matteo Rosini, you are my rock. You are my lover. You are my best friend. You are an amazing father. You are truly heaven sent. I love you so much and always will. And I promise to always give you the last burnt pieces of bacon whenever I make it.”
Laughter filled the air.
As Janet reined in her own fit of laughter, she said a few more words and then announced the most beautiful words of all.
“Family, friends, and everyone here today, I now pronounce Dominic and Lilith husband and wife. Mr. Rossini, you may kiss your bride.”
Cheers broke out along with a standing ovation as Dominic placed his palm on the small of my back and dipped me, passionately kissing me, cradling my belly with his other hand.
“I love you, Dominic Matteo,” I said, playfully taking his lip between my teeth.
“And I love you, Mrs. Rosini.”
Our tongues danced a slow version of the tango. “You’re absolutely stunning, by the way,” he added, devouring me with his eyes. He cockily lifted his brow, hinting at a night I may never forget.
“Mommy!”
Vincenzo raced over to us, running into my legs and grabbing on. His daddy picked him up and kissed his cheek.
“Awe,” I gushed when our son snuggled up to Dominic like he did with me earlier, resting his face against Dominic’s shoulder.
As we strolled in wedded bliss past the various gardens, I couldn’t help but experience butterflies. I watched my husband smile with a newfound pride as he stared straight ahead, his boy in his arm.
He was the man I loved.
The man I still dreamed about to this day.
The man I now got to officially call my husband.
My heart skipped a beat, knowing I would truly get to spend the rest of my life with Dominic. That I would get to watch the grass grow out on the patio as we grew old together.
Dominic looked at me with adoration. “ Io e te per sempre ?” he crooned, smiling that sweet, sexy smile that still, to this day, made me weak in the knees.
“You and me forever, baby.”
Fate was a beautiful thing.