Chapter Eight
Lainey
Iclench my teeth as Thomas runs up the stairs to my parents’ deck before proceeding to jump the railing onto the roof under my window. When he’s standing in front of me, he smiles, and it’s so breathtaking I forget to inhale.
“Easy, peasy,” he says, bouncing his eyebrows as he leans against the house.
“You’re crazy.” I giggle quietly. “You know that, right?”
“Never. That was me being smart. If I’d kept yelling from down there, I would have woken your parents.”
He rocks slightly, and I realize he’s been drinking. His bold move to come up here should have given that away, but I was too caught up in the fact that he was here, wanting to see me.
“They’re more likely to hear you standing a couple of feet from their window,” I say, looking toward their bedroom.
“Then invite me in.” He stares at me like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Meanwhile, my heart stops working as I consider having him in my room again.
“O-o-okay,” I stutter. “Come in.”
Thomas wastes no time climbing through the window, and when he’s standing in front of me, I freeze. Never in my life have I imagined sneaking a boy into my room, and it’s Thomas. Call me shocked.
“So…hi,” he says after a moment of silence. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Good. A little shocked that you’re here,” I admit because I don’t know what else to say.
“Why? I wanted to check in and see how you were. Did you finish A Walk To Remember?”
“I did.”
“And…” he coaxes.
“You broke me,” I say honestly. “How the hell is that a romance book?”
Thomas’s beaming smile lights up my dark room. “I never said it was a romance.”
“Yeah, well, I assumed.” I fold my arms across my chest with an exaggerated pout. “You know, since most of the book is based around their romance.”
Thomas chuckles. “Okay, I can see how you would come to that conclusion. But it’s not.”
“Are you going to apologize?” I say, biting back a smile.
“For giving you a birthday present?” Thomas says, faking disbelief.
“No. For ruining me. And giving me a huge crush on Shane West.” A much healthier crush than the one I have on you.
“Ah, so you watched the movie too? There’s nothing wrong with a crush.” He laughs again and I almost choke on thin air. Good to know he feels that way.
“You’re right, but it’s still annoying.”
“Too bad. I’m not sorry. But I can make it up to you.”
“Oh, yeah?” He steps forward and my heart jolts in my chest. “How?” I rasp before subtly clearing my throat.
“By finding you something else to focus on. Do you…like horror movies?”
My eyes widen at the same time my heart starts beating again. God, what did I think he was going to say? “I love horror movies. Hit me with your favorite.”
We talk about movies for a while before moving on to other topics and eventually falling into a comfortable silence. Though I have no idea why, everything with Thomas is easy. Why does he have to be older and my brother’s friend?
When my eyes feel heavy, I check the time and practically push Thomas out the door, directing him to go and sleep in the spare room, something Luke’s friends have done many times before. And after finally falling into bed around two a.m., I drift off with Thomas’s smile on my mind and a giddy feeling in my chest.
He sought me out. Thomas wanted to see me. And I know I didn’t imagine it this time.
From that night on, Thomas stops by to chat almost every time he comes over, which is becoming a lot more frequent. I don’t dare let myself question it though, because it’s highly unlikely that I’m the reason.
Some days he knocks on the door while the party is in full swing downstairs, and other days he surprises me with a tap on my window, having just stopped by to say hi to Luke.
Thankfully, Luke’s still none the wiser.
Every time Thomas visits, my crush grows, but it’s our friendship that I start to depend on. He keeps showing up. He doesn’t have to; we’ve never talked about it—he’s just here, whenever I need him. And I’ve never had that. I’ve got friends. Close friends. Melissa and I were inseparable at one point. But with my focus pulled toward dance, it’s hard to keep up with those friendships, and I can’t complain about it because it’s all on me.
With Thomas, it’s different. He doesn’t have any expectations. He’s never asked me to meet him somewhere when he knows I’m supposed to be at dance class, and he’s never questioned me on my loyalty to our friendship. It’s easy.
So, of course, I’m waiting for the shoe to drop.
“What do you think Luke would do if he found me here?” he asks one evening as we lie on my roof, staring up at the night sky.
I don’t even have to think about it; the answer hits me instantly. “He wouldn’t say a word. He’d probably just throw you off the edge.”
Without looking my way, Thomas chuckles. “That’s what I thought. Just wanted to double-check.”
My lips pull into a smile until a sharp pang hits me. “He’s got nothing to be upset about. We’re not doing anything wrong.” And I doubt we’ll ever move beyond this new and bizarre friendship we’ve created for ourselves. This little bubble we’ve put ourselves in. This secret.
If I explained it all to Luke, he’d probably thank Thomas. Better I spend time with him than another boy that wants more from me. According to Luke, I’m to be a virgin until I’m thirty, and even then, he doesn’t want to know about it.
“I think I’d survive that fall,” Thomas says, cutting into my thoughts. “I’d probably have a few broken bones, but I’d survive it. Either way…dead or alive…your brother would get his payback.”
“Payback for being protective of his little sister?”
“No, payback for not trusting that I’d never hurt you. I’m kind of protective of his little sister too.” His eyes flash to mine, and the most genuine smile settles on his face, drawing my attention to his lips. Pair that with the raspiness of his voice and I’m completely gone for him. More than I thought possible. My chest tightens as emotion clogs my throat, and I struggle to find the words to say thank you, only managing to croak out a quick “thanks” when he frowns.
The more time I spend with Thomas, the harder it is, but like an addiction, I don’t want to give him up, even if I know the inevitable heartbreak is coming.
Like I had to finish that damn book.
“What’s the latest update on your future?” Thomas asks when we fall quiet again, turning his head to face me. “Have you made any progress?”
“Not really.” I sigh. “I shouldn’t have put all my eggs in one basket. Now I have to wait for the next round of auditions for other schools. The problem is, if it’s not New York then I have to secure a scholarship, making it even harder.”
“That sucks. I’m sorry.”
“I’ve still got time. I’ve got a tour booked for Jaiton in the fall, a trip that my gran has paid for, and I think she’ll leave me alone until then.”
Thomas’s lips pull into a sympathetic grin. “I guess that’s a bonus but still not ideal.”
“No, it’s not.” I huff out a breath. I hate thinking about my future—it always upsets me—but it’s nice to know he’s thinking about it too. “Enough about me. You’ve almost finished your first year of college. How are you feeling?”
“I’m relieved to be free from classes for a while,” he says, his gaze drifting to the sky as he moves his arm under his head. “But I still have no clue what I’ll do if I don’t make the pros.”
His tee lifts with his movement, and I try to pretend I don’t notice the sliver of his toned stomach, though it’s hard to look away. “Like me, you’ve got the benefit of time,” I say, forcing my eyes closed. “And you can’t rule out making it pro; it’s a possibility.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t be letting it get to me.”
“No, that’s not—”
Thomas’s alarm goes off and he grimaces while I startle. “My time is up. I’ve officially been missing for an hour.” He sits up and stretches, once again drawing my dangerous gaze. “No one’s going to believe I’ve been getting lucky for that long.”
“What?” I sit up quickly and my head spins from the movement. “You tell everyone you’ve been getting lucky?”
“Only those that ask where I’ve been. It’s the only excuse that won’t elicit any follow-up questions. Well, it will. But not any questions that will lead back to you.”
“Are you crazy? If Luke finds you here, he’s definitely going to kill you.”
“I wouldn’t use that excuse if he found me here, would I?” He huffs out a laugh while my chest tightens. I’m not sitting here thinking about having sex with Thomas, or getting lucky, but it would be nice to think it wasn’t a joke to him. That I wasn’t a joke to him.
“You better run then,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “I’ll see you around.”
“You will.” He winks as he leaves, maybe not as observant as I first thought.
People suck. I mean, yes, there are a few decent people in the world, but most of them suck. And I don’t say this lightly. It’s not something I’m simply throwing out there. I’ve spent the last few days thinking this through, analyzing the things people say—their actions. I even have a list. And after careful thought and consideration, that’s the only conclusion I can come to…people suck.
God, that makes me sound bitter, or a brat, and maybe I’m both of them, but for the past few months, almost everyone in my life has started comparing me to everyone else. Pointing out my faults, providing advice on how I could better myself—unsolicited advice—and I’ve had enough.
“Luke finds the time to practice football, keep fit, and maintain his studying. All while still having a social life. Maybe you just can’t handle the balance.” My dad’s response when I mentioned I was too tired to practice after being kept awake by one of Luke’s parties.
“Did you know they’ve reduced the intake for Jaiton next year? Maybe we should up your rehearsal hours. I don’t think you’re ready.” My mom, in response to me asking what’s for dinner.
“I heard that Mike’s taking Piper to junior prom because she puts out. I bet he’d choose you if you offered him something.” A so-called friend.
And my favorite this week…
“You better keep dancing. That tight figure is the only reason guys are interested in you.” That one was from a fellow dancer in my class. A guy. Out of nowhere. I’d literally just sat down.
The thing is… I didn’t know any guys were interested in me because the only one I want isn’t.
So, yeah, people suck. With the exception of Luke and—
Tap. Tap. Tap. Thomas.
My heart races as I jump up from my bed. I wasn’t expecting him today. Not that I expect him any day. But I don’t usually get a visit during the daylight.
Running my hand over my crinkled school uniform, I try to smooth it out and cringe. God, I wish I’d changed when I got home. Thomas doesn’t need the reminder that I’m still in high school.
I hesitate with my hand on the curtain, wondering if I should pretend I’m not home. But when he knocks again, my need to see him wins out.
Taking a deep breath, I peek through the material to find his easy smile, instantly relaxing me. And when he holds up two grocery bags, mouthing the words “hurry up,” I can’t help but laugh.
“About time,” he jokes, when I open the window. “I had a killer practice session today, and I don’t think my legs could handle having to outrun your dad if he finds me here.” He fakes a grimace, his eyes scanning the yard.
“Shut up,” I say, pulling him inside. “You could easily outrun him on his best day,” I joke back, playfully rolling my eyes, acting as though there’s no chance of that happening, when in reality, my dad would probably attack without question—he’s a lot like Luke that way. Thankfully, he’s not home. “You should be more worried about Luke,” I add. But when Thomas’s back is turned, I can’t help checking for myself, making sure that no one saw him, before sliding the window closed and shutting the drapes.
“I’ve told you before I’m not worried about Luke; I can take him.” He turns back to face me as he speaks, catching me in the act. “You just checked, didn’t you,” he asks with a suppressed smirk before making himself comfortable on my bed, grabbing some cookies from one of his bags. My favorite cookies.
“No. You worry too much,” I lie, biting back a grin while ignoring the way my heart flutters.
Thomas chuckles, and like always, the sound hits me in the chest. This damn crush is going to destroy me one day. I can sense it.
“Alright. I brought donuts, cookies, and candy. What kind of day is it?” he asks, moving on and making it even harder to keep my feelings platonic. He’s Luke’s friend. He’s my friend. But he’s also Luke’s friend. No matter how many times I tell myself that, it doesn’t sink in.
When I don’t answer right away, Thomas waves the bag in front of my face as he laughs again, and I can’t stop the responding smile from spreading across my face.
“It’s a donut and candy day,” I say with a wince, though I know he won’t judge me.
“Sheesh.” He winces back. “That bad?”
“You be the judge. I was told my tight figure is the only reason a guy would ever be interested in me.” I laugh as I jokingly run my hands over my body, trying to play it down. “So…” I shrug, finally looking up to find Thomas with his hand hovering in mid-air, his eyes locked on my waist. I hold my breath under his intense gaze as butterflies fill me. He blinks a few times before shaking his head, perhaps clearing his thoughts, and chuckling along with me.
“He’s obviously never seen you rap, because that’s damn impressive.”
I shove at his chest before crawling up onto the bed beside him and crossing my legs to get comfortable, while Thomas lies back into the pillows. “You were never supposed to see that.”
“Maybe not, but I’m lucky I did. That’s something I’ll never forget.”
Like always, we lose track of time talking, and it’s not until I start yawning that Thomas moves to leave. The part I always hate, never knowing when he’s going to come back.
He’s just opened the window when a banging starts up from the other side of the room. “Lainey! Can I come in? You’ll never guess who I just saw,” Luke yells, making Thomas drop to the floor in a panic.
I cover my mouth to stifle my giggles and send out a thanks that Luke’s respectful of my privacy. “One minute!” I yell back before crouching down to Thomas’s level. “Are you still going to pretend you’re not scared of my brother?” I ask, sucking my lips into my mouth.
Thomas’s eyes flash to my tight-lipped grin before he shakes his head and stands.
“You know he can get a little crazy, right?” he whispers, his eyes now firmly locked on my bedroom door. If he wasn’t worried, he’d have already told Luke about our friendship, and so would I. We’re both secretly nervous.
“That I do. You better go before my minute’s up.” I smile, pushing him outside as I glance over my shoulder.
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He laughs quietly before checking the coast is clear and jumping the railing, only stopping to wave when he reaches the shadows at the edge of the yard.
My heart sinks when he disappears, but I don’t get time to dwell on it with only three seconds before Luke’s invasion, and maybe that’s a good thing. Because while Thomas’s visits always lift me up, every time he leaves, I fall even further.