Chapter Forty-Nine
Thomas
Lainey stares at me as though I have no idea what I’m saying, and yet, I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. Until I realize my mistake. “Or a third chance, I guess.”
I scrunch my face in apology, eliciting the smallest of smiles from Lainey before she shakes her head and steps back, her ass hitting the makeup counter behind her.
Her lips part as though she’s going to speak, but I cut her off. I’m not ready for her to tell me all the reasons why that shouldn’t happen, why it won’t work.
“We don’t have to talk about that now,” I rush out, waving my hand in the air. “First, we need to get you fixed up.”
I tentatively reach for her hand, and when she doesn’t pull away, I gently run my thumb over her knuckles. She hisses under her breath, but when I glance back at her beautiful face, she’s the picture of ease.
“You don’t have to be strong if it hurts, you know. You punched a guy in the nose.” I offer her a small smile, while inside my anger continues to simmer.
Seeing that guy touch Lainey triggered a rage in me that I haven’t felt in years. Not since the last guy tried to hurt her. If she hadn’t stopped me, I was fully prepared to destroy him. To risk everything to make sure he paid for what he’d done. I’d been there before; I was more than willing to do it again. For her.
But seeing her hurting… that triggered a whole new feeling in me. One that was more important. One that told me I needed to stay by her side because I wouldn’t get many more opportunities to prove myself. To show her that I’m there for her. That her needs come first.
I know there are lots of things working against us—things we’ve already discussed, things we’ve been dancing around. And while I want to say fuck it, to beg her to forget all our reasons and just concentrate on the here and now, I don’t want to hurt her again, and until we talk, there’s a good chance that will happen
“As I said, that doesn’t happen often, the inappropriate behavior I mean.” Lainey’s gaze drops as she speaks, her eyes locked on her hand resting in my palm. “Still, I should have explained what you’d be faced with before you came. I’m sorry. You deserved a heads-up.”
“Don’t be sorry, because I’m not.” I lift her chin, forcing her to face me. “If I’d known what I was walking into, Luke’s assumptions aside, I probably would have come with some preconceived notions about how I’d feel… And I can guarantee I would have been wrong.”
Lainey frowns. She doesn’t get it.
“What I mean is that I would have arrived full of jealousy and maybe even a little bit ragey. But seeing you up there… Watching you dance was…was… Lainey, it’s beyond words. Mind-blowing. Eye-opening. One of those rare moments in life that I hope never leaves my memory.” I pause when her eyes widen, and while I’d love to tell her exactly how I feel at this moment, I want to keep the focus on her. “And then you punched a guy…” I trail off as I laugh, loving the way the edge of her lips curl into a smile.
“And then I punched a guy.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, but we both know that it is. “I wasn’t expecting that when I gave you the address.”
Neither was I, and thank God it was me here and not Luke because that could have ended a lot differently.
“If that’s not a usual occurrence, then what is?” I ask, hoping to distract her as I tend to her wound. “What’s a typical night here at the club?”
Lainey’s smile widens, and it’s easy to see that she loves it here. It’s not just a means to an end.
As she talks, I wet a tissue and start cleaning the blood from her hand, being careful not to aggravate the cut across her knuckles. She hit that guy so hard that she busted two of them open, and I’ve got to admit, it was hot. There’s something to be said about a woman holding her own. Though I’m lucky I’ve never been on the end of her fist, because God knows, I’ve deserved it a time or two.
“You really can handle yourself, can’t you,” I say when she’s finished speaking, shooting her a wink as I think about what the woman, Lainey’s boss, said earlier.
Lainey grins shyly. “I don’t set out to hurt people. I just kind of react instinctively.”
“Well, it’s hot.”
She rolls her eyes as she shoves at my chest, cringing when she does. I’d bet anything her hand’s giving her more grief than she’s letting on.
“You’d think I’d be used to injuries.” She winces, confirming my thoughts, shooting me an adorably pinched expression. “You should have seen my feet sometimes.”
“I can imagine… I’ve seen the movie Center Stage.” Lainey frowns before a small laugh escapes her. Yes, okay, I’ve just admitted to watching more chick flicks, but that’s not important. “Cuts and bruises are never fun,” I add to ease her mind.
“I know. But why does this feel worse?”
“Probably because it’s your hand.” I think. I’m assuming hands are more sensitive than feet, but what do I know? I may have put my body through hell over the years, but something tells me she’s had it worse.
When her wound’s clean, I lean forward and gently kiss the uninjured space below, lifting my eyes to watch her reaction. “I’m no doctor, but I think you’ll live.”
Her breath hitches before she smiles, her gaze back on her hand instead of meeting my eyes. “Thank you,” she says softly as I stand tall. “And thank you for not freaking out about…all of this.” She peers up at me then, looking through her lashes as my heart jolts. No matter what comes next, if Lainey tells me right now that she’s seeing someone else…I will fight for her. I’m not jealous watching her dance with other men because I refuse to believe that we’re done. In my mind, she’s my future. For the past six years, she’s been the only future I wanted, and I’ve finally got the chance to make it happen.
“Don’t get me wrong. I may have had a moment where I actually wished I could dance like that…so that I could be the one up there with you. But I’m content to just bear witness to it. To be the guy on the sidelines, watching you shine.”
Lainey subtly sucks in a breath but smiles as though I’m joking.
“I’m serious, Lainey. You have a gift, and—”
“It was nice having you here,” she rushes out, cutting me off. Perhaps knowing I was about to ask if her dancing was the start of something. “I always thought I’d want to be anonymous when I finally danced again. But knowing you were there tonight gave me a confidence boost I needed.”
I smile until her words register. “Finally danced again?”
“Yeah.” She smiles shyly. “That was my first time.”
Jesus. Luke told me that she was happy, that she’d moved on from her past, that nothing was holding her back. Without saying the words, he’d all but told me I’d be holding her back if I contacted her, and I truly believe he was telling the truth. His truth anyway. But once again, she was hiding things.
“Do you think you’ll dance more often?” I ask without actually saying the word ballet.
“Maybe.” She shrugs, her smile still intact. “But for now, I better go back out there.”
She moves toward the door, but I grab her wrist, pulling her toward me in one quick movement. It’s impulsive, and I have no idea why I want her to stay, but I can’t let her leave. Not yet.
She lets out a soft gasp as her body crashes against my chest, and I waste no time sinking my hands into her hair, lifting her face to mine. Her lips fall open and we stare into each other’s eyes, taking everything in, focusing on what this could be. At least, that’s what I’m doing. I’m focused on the way her intense gaze makes my pulse race, or the way just a touch of her skin sends tingles through my body. And most importantly, I’m focused on the way my heart beats for her. Only for her. As it always has.
“What are you doing?” Lainey whispers, her gaze hesitant as her eyes bounce between mine. “And why does it feel like this moment is so much bigger than I realize?”
I huff out a laugh, breaking the spell between us. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on holding you hostage, but now that I have you in my arms again, I can’t seem to let go.”
“Thomas, it’s—”
“Please don’t say it’s too late. I know I have a lot of work to do, to prove to you that I’m worth the risk, but please don’t rule it out.”
“I’m not, it’s just…”
“Why’d you tell me where you were tonight? Why let me come here?”
Lainey’s eyes narrow as her brows furrow. “You asked.” She shrugs.
“You could have told me you’d see me tomorrow. You could’ve told me to fuck off.” The crevice between her brows deepens, and she frowns for a beat before her expression turns angry.
“Believe it or not, Thomas. But I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen. It’s not easy to keep you at arm’s length. It’s not easy to say no.”
Fuck. My chest tightens as my heart constricts. She loves me. Still. “I—”
“No, let me finish. Just because I love you doesn’t mean you wield all the power. I invited you here because I know deep down I can and will walk away if I need to. If I’ve learned anything in the past six years, it’s that I come first. I won’t let you—”
“I don’t want power over you, Lainey,” I cut in, my voice raised in panic. “In fact, in my eyes, the power is all yours. I haven’t spent the last six years just fucking around, if that’s what you think. I know we were supposed to have a clean break, but the truth is…I never quit you. It’s been you, this entire time. The only reason I held back from contacting you is because you were living your life; you were doing well. And I wasn’t. I had no right dragging you into my mess then and I have no right doing it now.” I pause, my heart racing as I tell her everything I’ve been holding on to. And I mean every word out of my mouth. If she hadn’t walked back into my life a few weeks ago, I would have left her alone. I promised myself I’d never seek her out. I’d let her live her life until she came back to me.
And she did.
She took that job with Summer knowing there was a chance she’d see me again. She knew. That’s gotta mean something. At the very least, it means she wanted to check up on me, and I’ll take that. I’ll take anything to have her in my life again because while I may deserve most of the negative things that come my way, being without Lainey is the worst kind of purgatory.
“I’m not telling you any of this with expectations. I just want you to know how I feel. That I—”
“What do you mean you never quit me?” She cuts me off before I can tell her I love her, and it doesn’t surprise me at all. She’s not ready to hear it.
“I mean exactly that. I never let you go.”
Lainey shakes her head, her expression panicked. I’ve thrown too much at her before we’ve even had a chance to reconnect. I should have eased her into it.
“Why don’t we go back out and dance?” I say, stepping away. “I don’t want you to get in trouble, and we can talk tomorrow.”
“Oh, um,” she hesitates, looking up at me with a puzzled expression. “No, it’s okay. Shauna said I could leave.”
“Do you want to leave?” I ask, ignoring the urge I have to see her dancing again or to have the chance to hold her in my arms.
Her nose scrunches and she shakes her head. “Is it wrong if I don’t? Do you mind if I finish my shift?”
“No, Lainey.” I chuckle, knowing I want the opposite. “If you want to stay, then we’ll stay,” I say to her surprise. “What time do you get off?”
Her eyes widen as her mouth opens slightly. “We?”
“Yes, we. Unless you tell me to leave, you’re stuck with me tonight. But don’t worry, I won’t cramp your style. I like seeing you in your element.”
“You know I have to dance with other people, right?” She raises a brow in challenge, but I hold strong.
“How is that different from before?” I laugh. “It’ll be fun.” And while she didn’t give me any indication that there was a chance for us, the sparkle in her eyes tells me not to rule it out.
“Okay,” she says, brushing invisible dirt from her dress. “Let’s hope they’re not famous last words.”