Chapter Forty-Eight
Lainey
Agorgeous specimen of a man approaches me at the bar, but it’s like my ability to flirt is broken. It’s been happening since Thomas blew back into my life. I only saw him for a matter of hours combined, during both his visits, but it ruined me. And it’s so much worse now that I know he’s here. Watching me. Standing in the shadows. Judging me.
“You were amazing up there,” the guy says, pointing to the stage. “Are you performing again? Or done for the night?”
My smile widens, but on the inside I’m sweating, trying hard not to run.
When Thomas texted me earlier, I considered making up an excuse for not seeing him, but after our talk last weekend, I changed my mind.
And I’m glad I did.
Before he’d arrived, I was adamant I wasn’t going to dance, much to Shauna’s hidden disappointment. But the second Thomas walked through the door, my eyes sought him out across the room, and his expression of awe lit a spark inside of me.
Without a single exchange passing between us, Thomas instilled a confidence in me that had been missing for so long, I assumed it was gone. Yet suddenly, I wanted to dance more than I wanted my next breath. But only because I wanted to dance for him. For Thomas.
With the lights dimmed in the crowd and the bright glow of the stage, I couldn’t see Thomas as I danced. For all I knew he might have walked out the second I stepped onto the stage, but in my mind, we’d been the only two people in the room.
And because of that, it throws me a little when the man in front of me mentions my performance.
“I’m done for the night,” I say as I wipe down the counter, doing anything I can to distract myself. “But I’ll be on the dance floor in an hour.”
The hot guy’s eyes light up, and a sexy grin graces his face. “I’ll be there. Maybe we can dance?”
I nod, and after I make his drink, he walks away, raising his glass as he goes. You’d think I’d be excited about the prospect of dancing with a guy like that, but these days, I feel nothing. I probably should have asked Shauna if I could skip the part of my job that required me to dance with the clients, but that usually brings in the most tips, and at the end of the day, this is a job, and I’m here to make money.
On top of that, I love being here. I love dancing with strangers and being able to move my body without standing in the spotlight. I’m aware there are people coming here with ill intentions, but most of our clientele are only here to have fun, and in this environment, I’m always up for a good time. The only part of this job that’s recently concerned me was the stage, but a little part of me feels like I just conquered that. Question is…am I ready to do it again?
An hour goes by, and while I’m constantly searching, I don’t see Thomas at all, and I’m nervous about what that means. While he may very well be doing as I asked and keeping to himself until I finish, there’s also the possibility that he left…and for the first time in a while, the prospect of seeing him doesn’t make me nervous.
“Are you ready to dance again?” my friend Malory says as she comes to take over the bar. We rotate between here and the dance floor when not on the stage, and my bar shift has come to an end.
“I am,” I say, and it’s not a lie. Before my time volunteering, I couldn’t even step foot on the dance floor. It was the furthest thing from comfortable to me, but I grew a lot while I was away and finally took back my life. Instead of associating dance with my negative time at Jaiton, I put a positive spin on it. When I’d performed mostly naked in my final, I’d made that choice, and with that choice came a certain level of power that I hadn’t really understood until recently. To a degree, I felt proud of myself for standing up to my bullies, but I hadn’t really processed what that meant.
Until I was so far removed from my past that I finally had time to reflect on it. While volunteering. While traveling the world and finding the beauty in it.
That’s what I did that day. I stood up to my bullies.
I hit back and I won. It just took me a long time to realize that.
And now, that power runs through my veins.
“Go,” Malory says, her sisterly smile always giving me warmth. “I’ve got it covered here. You deserve your time to shine, and there are quite a few hotties out there tonight. Maybe you can find someone to take home.”
I laugh as I remove my half apron and walk away. I’ve never once taken a guy home, but tonight may be different, because at the very least, I know Thomas and I are going to the same place.
Once backstage in our dressing room, I search through my outfits to find the perfect one. Our time on the dance floor is designed to keep the clientele happy, so I usually wear my sexier outfits, but today feels different. I’m not embarrassed at all. I don’t care if Thomas sees what I do. But I’m not ready to have him look at me differently. I don’t want him to think about my body.
It took me too long to notice it last time, but our relationship centered around the physical, and while I may dance half-naked, I’m still just Lainey. The quiet girl he met when I was a kid, the girl with dreams who grew up to discover that life was actually pretty tainted. The girl who’s now making the most of what she’s got and trying to find her place in the world. The woman who loved Thomas with all her heart but refuses to let that love take over again. For either of us.
I’m lost in thought when the guy from earlier approaches me, spinning me into his hold as soon as I reach the edge of the dance floor. “Havana,” by Camila Cabello comes on as we push through the wave of bodies, and I smile wide. It’s one of my favorite songs to dance to, and I love losing my mind to the rhythm.
At least, I normally do.
But no matter how well this guy can dance, and my God is he amazing, I can’t relax. I’ve felt eyes on me from the moment I started swaying my hips, and I know it’s Thomas. He’s close. And he has my heart racing as he holds it in his hands, keeping it hostage while he figures himself out.
I raise my arms above my head when the guy grabs my hips, trying to let the tension go. But when he spins me around and dips me back, suddenly Thomas is in my direct line of sight, and he’s closer than I thought.
Our eyes lock, and the smallest of smirks pulls at his lips as he arches a brow.
My dance partner lifts me back up until he’s all I can see, and yet, the image of Thomas, dancing flush with another woman, is burned into my mind.
I swallow a lump in my throat and continue to dance, but my movements suffer. While before it came naturally, now I’m conscious of every touch, every expression, every sway. I’m not doing this to make Thomas jealous, and from the small glimpses I see, I can tell Thomas feels the same. This is my job, and he’s respecting that—like when he told me about Lucy and Katie—he just…understands.
As the song progresses, we both sneak glances at each other, the heat in his eyes doing nothing to quell the fire that burns inside of me. The sparks that have only ever existed for him. I should be immune by now; we’ve been there before and failed. But tell that to my heart as it races in anticipation, my blood pumping so hard, I can feel it pulsing through my body.
The second the song ends, Thomas whispers something to the woman he’s with before nodding in a half bow. She giggles like she’s smitten, but as soon as he turns away, she moves on to someone else.
And that’s the way this world works.
People move around like a game of musical chairs, and when the night ends and the music stops, that’s often who they go home with.
I thank my dance partner, just like Thomas did, and step away, searching for him in the crowd. But before I can find him, a new guy cups my waist from behind, stopping my movement, ready for what he thinks is his turn.
“Sorry.” I look over my shoulder, smiling apologetically. “I’ve already promised a dance to someone else and—”
“They can wait.” He pulls me back as I step forward, and our bouncers take notice. My friend Tyler is the first to move in our direction, but I subtly shake my head. I don’t want to cause a scene. It’s never good for business.
“I can dance with you later,” I say, keeping my tone light. “Right now—”
He reaches around me, cutting me off as he runs his palm up my body toward my breast, squeezing tightly as his lips hover against my ear, his other hand slipping beneath my dress. “I said, they can wait.”
My muscles tense as I spring away, bumping into a body beside me. After a rushed apology, I spin around and clench my fist before rearing my hand back and slamming it into his nose. “Don’t touch me,” I seethe, stepping back while he’s momentarily stunned.
“What the fuck?” he yells after a beat, grabbing his face in one hand as he reaches for me with the other, his fist curling around the silk of my dress just as six guys close in on him. Two of our bouncers, three regular clients…and Thomas.
Quickly moving aside, I let most of the guys do their thing, but when it comes to Thomas, I grip his shirt, pulling him to a stop, holding strong in case he tries to keep moving. “Please don’t. It’s not worth it.”
“Let go of me, Lainey,” he grits out between clenched teeth. “He’s a dead man.”
“No.” I stand firm.
“Then, I’m sorry.” He easily twists himself free and takes another step, but I don’t let him get far, wrapping my arms around him from behind, linking my fingers so he’s forced to take me with him. “Thomas, please.”
“Lainey.” His voice is strained, telling me he’s struggling, but I refuse to let go. I won’t let him risk his career before he’s even played a single game with his new team.
With pleading eyes, he looks over his shoulder to protest again just as a sharp pain registers in my knuckles, making me nauseous.
I release my grip and step back, taking in a gulp of air as my eyes clench shut. “I…I don’t feel so good,” I say as the throbbing increases.
Sucking in a deep breath, I open my eyes again and find Thomas’s wide gaze frantically searching my body, checking for anything he may have missed.
“He didn’t hurt me,” I say, grabbing his hand. “I did it to myself.” I raise my fist to show him the damage and bite my lip as I cringe. Thomas opens his mouth to speak, but before he has the chance to say anything, Shauna rushes over, pulling me into a hug.
“Not only have I just discovered you’re one hell of a dancer, but you’ve got one hell of a right hook too.” She lifts my hand, and I giggle until she frowns. “Are you okay? He’s barred for life.”
We have one rule here at the club, and that is to ask permission before touching. That goes for clients and dancers. I can’t just walk up to a guy and grab his junk either; it would get me fired.
Having said that, punching a guy is also frowned upon, but judging by the number of people that came to my aid, I’m hoping I have plenty of witnesses and won’t need to explain myself.
“Tyler told me what happened,” Shauna continues after I nod, proving my point. “You should head home.”
“What? No.” I’m not letting him win. “I’m fine. I’ll clean this up and be back on the dance floor before you know it.”
She smiles as her eyes flash to Thomas. “Okay, but if you feel shitty, you’re welcome to leave early. Although, maybe this beauty here can look after you?” She reaches out to take Thomas’s hand, but he’s not even remotely focused on our conversation, his eyes on the security team as they escort the man out. “We haven’t met,” Shauna says, finally getting his attention.
“Shauna, this is Thomas,” I introduce them. “He’s a longtime friend.”
Shauna’s brow rises before she hides it. “Good. I’m glad. I’ll feel better knowing there’s an extra set of eyes to look out for you tonight. It’s lovely to meet you, Thomas.”
Thomas nods and she turns to walk away, but I call out to stop her. “I don’t need looking after.”
Shauna laughs as Thomas bites back a smirk, making me frown. “Oh, trust me, honey,” she says, looking back at Thomas. “We know.”
After Shauna moves out of sight, Thomas gently clasps my hand, lifting it to his face to scrutinize my wound. “We really need to get this cleaned up,” he says, his eyes flashing toward the exit, his body deflating when he finds the man gone. “Come on, lead the way.”
As we walk through the crowd, I force myself to ignore the attention Thomas receives, and when we reach the back door, I grimace. “Technically, you’re not allowed in here,” I say with a wince. “I’ll have to ask one of the team to help.”
I gesture to Tyler, and Thomas stiffens before his face contorts. “Nope. Are there any bathrooms I can take you to instead?” His gaze bounces around the area, but he’s not going to find anything. The bathrooms are all inside or back where we came from. “I was fine with the dancing,” he says when his search comes up empty. “And the flirting…because I understood it for what it was. Your job. But I draw the line here. I’m going to be the one taking care of you, and—”
He stops his rant when my eyes widen, and a small smile pulls at his lips. “You’re looking at me like that surprises you, and yet, you just held me back from beating the shit out of that guy. I care.” His fists clench, making me bite back a grin.
“I never doubted that. It’s just different—” You didn’t call. Thomas frowns, so I drop what I was going to say. “Come on, come through. You’ll have to wait by the door so I can make sure no one is naked.”
After the coast is clear, I lead Thomas through the labyrinth of dresses until we reach the private bathrooms at the back of the room, and when we’re inside, I lock the door.
Thomas’s eyes flash to the bolt before his throat bobs, sending a shiver from my shoulders to my toes. We’re here to fix my hand, but there’s an all too familiar tension in the room, and it’s impossible to ignore.
“So… this is where I work… this is what I do.” I bite the tip of my finger as I grimace, not sure how much he saw or what his reaction will be.
Thomas’s gaze moves back to mine as he raises a brow. “Rearrange faces?” he says with a blank expression, and I burst out laughing, more from nerves than anything else.
“While I’ll admit that’s not the first time I’ve punched a guy, there’s more to my job than that.” A sharp pang hits me as I think about Summer, but I’m pulled out of it when Thomas glares.
“How often does that happen?” he asks between clenched teeth, his protective side on full display.
“That hasn’t happened before. I punched someone for a different reason a long time ago.”
I can tell my explanation does nothing to ease his mind, but he moves on, taking a step closer.
“Jokes aside, you’re a phenomenal dancer, Lainey. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” My cheeks heat at the intensity of his gaze, and I have to fight not to outwardly react. “I’m happy you’re dancing again,” he adds, his deep voice penetrating my soul. “And I’m happy I got to see it.”
He starts humming the opening tune to “Young and Beautiful,” as I silently stare at him, my heart racing a million miles per hour, my mind whirring.
“Why are you here?” I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.
Thomas sighs before stepping forward to brush a loose strand of hair away from my face. “I’m not going to lie to you again,” he says, his tone hesitant. “Luke wanted me to check this place out, but—”
“He what? I’m—”
Thomas presses his finger to my lip, his gaze locked on mine. “Yes, it was Luke who told me about this place, but if I’m being completely honest, I’m here because I miss you. And I want a second chance.”