Chapter Forty-Seven
Thomas
After Nate told me to “wake the fuck up” last week, I’d spent the night thinking about my failures and vowed to do better. For both me and Lainey. I’d spent a huge part of my life in my own personal hell, and it was time to make a change. Lainey was back, and I wasn’t going to let her slip through my fingers again.
I’d arrived back in Seattle feeling lighter than I had in years, and as I’d packed up my entire life into a medium sized U-Haul, I’d done so with a new hope. A new outlook and a determination to make things right.
With my life tucked away in boxes, I made the fifteen-hour drive from Seattle, only stopping once to grab some food and rest my eyes for an hour. I had plenty of time to sleep when I arrived, and it had been years since I had a proper night’s sleep anyway. I just wanted to be home.
Since I’d arrived at Summer’s in the middle of the night, I had every intention of sleeping the day away, but when the team group chat I’d recently been added to lit up with an array of messages to meet for a workout, I abandoned my plans and headed to the stadium.
Which is where I am now, working out with the team—some of them anyway—for the very first time.
Once the general welcome chat is out of the way, I get into my groove, and it quickly feels like home. Like nothing has changed except for the color of my jersey and the men surrounding me. It helps to have a few familiar faces in the mix, but when Luke strolls in, my attitude changes.
I continue my workout, and it’s not until I’ve finished with my final set that I seek him out, making my way over to where he’s setting up on the bench press. I’ve been meaning to confront him about Lainey, and now seems like the perfect moment. When he’s at my mercy. Because that fucker has been keeping secrets.
“Need a spot?” I ask as I get into position behind him.
“Thanks, man. When did you get back?”
“I drove here yesterday and I’m already regretting it. I should have given myself more lead-up, but the less time at Dylan and Summer’s the better.” Though I wouldn’t mind seeing Lainey more often.
“Are they cramping your style?” Luke laughs as he grabs the bar for his set.
“No,” I say honestly. “It’s just a full house. You know, with the new nanny living there.” I make sure to emphasize the word “nanny” and wait to see if he picks up on it.
“Nanny, huh? Good for them.”
“Good for them? You are such an asshole.”
Luke’s eyes meet mine and his lips curl into a smirk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know your sister’s back,” I snap, folding my arms over my chest.
“Yep. She is.” He pops the p, and I want to pop my foot in his ass.
“Why are you being a dick, and why didn’t you tell me?”
“Fuck,” he huffs out as the reps get harder. “You’re pissed as well? What is it with the two of you?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means…” He drops the bar onto the stand and sits up, spinning to face me. “It means that I don’t want anything to do with your drama. Lainey’s back; you’re here. Either sort your shit out or move on, but don’t bring me into it.”
“You brought yourself into it when you decided you deserved an opinion on who Lainey could or couldn’t date. You made all of her relationships about you.”
Luke hisses, but I can see the resolve in his features. “You’re right. That’s on me. But now I’m out.”
He throws his hands in the air as he stands and grabs his towel, abandoning the rest of his set before walking away. But he only takes two steps before he spins on a dime and comes back. “Actually, I’m out after this.”
“What?”
“I need you to go to Lainey’s work.”
“To Summer’s?” I ask in confusion.
“No, fucker. Not to Summer’s. To her other job. The dancing one.”
“Lainey’s dancing?” A warmth fills my chest, and I couldn’t stop my smile if I tried. She really is happy.
“Wipe that grin off your face. She’s dancing dancing… She claims it’s innocent, but men watch her for their enjoyment.”
My smile drops and my eyes widen. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“She’s been working at some kind of exclusive club and—”
“Where?” I’m almost certain he’s wrong, but I have to know.
Our running back, Rhett, chooses that moment to step closer, having been hovering in the background.
“I don’t know where it is,” Luke continues, ignoring his presence. “I chose not to ask, but I don’t trust that it’s as legit as Lainey says it is.”
“I’ll look it up,” Rhett offers, and I almost laugh at the scowl on Luke’s face.
“Fuck off. I’m not letting you ‘look it up.’ You’ll probably go there.”
“I won’t, I promise.” Rhett pauses for a second before his nose scrunches. “Okay, I can’t promise that, but I can try.”
Luke straightens and his fists clench at his sides. “That’s my fucking sister. If I find out you—”
“Relax.” Rhett chuckles. “I won’t go. I didn’t even hear the name.”
That’s because he never said it.
Luke scoffs. “This is why friends and siblings shouldn’t mix,” he grumbles, making me bite back a smirk.
“Yet, you want me to go?” I tease even though I’ve already made up my mind.
“Yes. Despite my better judgment, I do. I’m hoping you can put my mind at ease without me having to go there. I’m praying she’s telling the truth.”
“Why would she lie to you? I’m guessing she told you all the details. It wouldn’t be hard to catch her if she’s bullshitting.”
“I know she’s not lying, but I think she’s too innocent to see it for what it is.”
I hold back my eye roll and instead ask Luke to text me the details, promising to let him know what I think.
And then my mind races.
If Lainey says it’s innocent, then I know that it’s innocent, so I’m not worried about that, but seeing Lainey dance… that’s what has me worked up.
Going off the only information Luke gave me, I search online for “Silver Dreams” in the early evening but come up empty. I try other searches like dance clubs and nightclubs with dancers and finally discover a few references to something called “Silver Nights” on social media, though none of the posts give me any significant information unless I want to know that it’s “the hottest club in town” or “worth the price.”
Abandoning my research, I go directly to the source, hoping she might give me something I can work with, but having a strong feeling she’ll ignore me.
Thomas: Summer said you were out tonight but can I see you?
The three little dots appear and disappear many times, and I get my hopes up. She’s likely thinking of an excuse, but it’s more than I expected to receive so I’ll take it as a win, and I’m not opposed to begging. I wait for what feels like the longest minute before getting a reply, and I’m shocked at her answer.
LLS: You can, but I’m working. If I tell you where, you can’t talk to me until I’m done
Shit. I swallow a lump in my throat as inappropriate images flood my mind. Lainey dancing in a club, Lainey slowly removing her clothes. Lainey and I…alone. Lainey… Fuuuck. Nope. I’m going there to make sure she’s okay. That’s all. And, if she’s letting me visit her, then I already know Luke’s wrong.
I stare down at her reply before taking a deep breath and agreeing.
Thomas: I promise. No talking
The three dots torture me again, and just when I think she’s changed her mind, a text comes through.
LLS: Address incoming
She sends me the details, and I immediately put the address into the GPS on my phone, heading straight for the door, booking an Uber as I walk. My phone rings on the way over, but I ignore it, assuming it’s Luke asking if I decided to go. And even though I’m doing exactly what he asked, he doesn’t need to know that.
The driver’s quiet as he follows the maps, but when he pulls up outside a little Spanish restaurant, he smiles. “This the place?” he asks with some kind of knowing look.
“Ahh. Yep?” At least I think it is. I look around, taking in surrounding stores, but they’re all closed. “What is she playing at?” I mumble to myself. This is the same place she mentioned she worked years ago and…
My mind reels for a second until a thought hits me, and I throw my head back, barking out a laugh. I’ll bet she’s messing with Luke. She’s back at her old job, waitressing, and letting Luke stress behind the scenes.
I thank my driver, and while walking inside, I consider calling Luke to rub it in, but when I catch two well-dressed men disappearing into an unmarked door before a beautiful young woman steps out, I realize I’m wrong. This isn’t just a restaurant. It’s a front.
But for what?
Less than a minute later, I have my answer.
It’s a speakeasy.
Lainey works in a speakeasy. And it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
I drink it all in as I slowly walk toward the bar before mindlessly taking a seat. The decor has a 1920s feel to it, but they’re playing modern music, and the staff are wearing modern clothes too. I stare in awe, my eyes bouncing from woman to woman, trying to find my pink-haired beauty but having no luck.
“I’m guessing it’s your first time here?” someone says from behind me, drawing my attention away from my thoughts.
“What gave you that idea?” I ask with a slight laugh, completely aware that I look out of place with my awed expression.
The woman knowingly smiles as she shakes her head. “The wide eyes, the dropped jaw. Not to mention you almost missed your seat.”
“I did?” Jesus. “This place is mind-blowing.” That’s the best way to describe it.
“That it is. What can I get you?”
“Uh, I’ll take a whiskey neat.” I’m so distracted that I momentarily forget I’m trying to cut back on drinking, and when I turn back around, that only gets worse. The stage is now lit up, showcasing a six-piece band on the side, dressed beautifully in evening wear, and a singer in front of them. The rest of the stage is empty, save for a couple, wearing barely there outfits as they dance to a song that sounds like it could be the Jonas Brothers.
Masses of bodies move on the dance floor in front of them, while others sit at banquet tables around the edge of the room, watching with rapt attention as they eat. It’s not exactly what Luke thought it was, and yet, it’s still wildly sexual, and I find myself instantly addicted.
When the song ends, I spin around and apologize to the woman, grabbing my whiskey while pretending not to notice how amused she is at my expense. Maybe the alcohol will rid me of the tightness I’ve held in my chest since I arrived back in town and ease the strange tension I’ve felt since walking into this club.
After once again scanning the room for Lainey, I hide my disappointment when I don’t find her and instead lean back against the bar, resting one elbow on the edge as I take my first sip.
The live music starts again, drawing my attention, and this time I recognize the song—“Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Rey.
As I watch the stage, I take another sip of my whiskey and freeze with the glass resting against my lips, my heart faltering as the world around me stills.
Lainey glides onto the stage dressed in a silky blue dress that hits just above the knee, her feet bare, and her long pink hair flowing freely down her back. Her elegant dress may look more like a nightgown than a costume, but it doesn’t worry me like it would worry Luke. Everything about her is breathtaking.
When the lyrics begin, Lainey spins before throwing herself into the dance, moving around the stage with so much feeling it’s impossible to look away. Her expression cracks, as though every move is shattering her heart, and I want to comfort her. But she’s playing a part and she’s playing it perfectly. These aren’t the ballet moves I always envisioned her performing, but she’s still graceful, and there’s something raw about her style, something more powerful. She looks free.
She’s dancing.
My heart pounds in my chest as I watch her. Unmoving, I’m trapped by the power she’s always held over me. Only this time it feels different. This time, I don’t want to disappear into her world. I don’t want to use her strength to build my own. This time, I want to join her, I want to be the man that deserves to stand by her side, and I want the world to know about it.
As the first chorus hits, another dancer walks slowly onto the stage, his eyes firmly locked on Lainey’s every move, just like the rest of us. The song builds, and she runs across the floor, leaping into his arms as her body collapses like she’s breaking. He spins her to face him before dipping her back, their bodies connected as the tips of her fingers touch the stage.
They dance with so much emotion, so much passion, you’d think they were a couple. But they’re not…I don’t think. They’re telling a story. The push and pull, the fighting, the making up, the way he holds her, the way she rolls around on the floor. The way they communicate with their moves. It’s meant to entertain, sure, but it’s so much more than that. It’s designed to turn you on, to increase your endorphins, make you smile, flirt. Stay. It’s adult entertainment at its finest. But fuck, it’s incredible. She’s incredible. And I’ve never seen anything like this.
Lainey’s flawless. I’m in awe. I’m mesmerized.
And I’m completely fucked.
They say love can slap you in the face when you least expect it, and while I’ve known how I felt about Lainey for a long time, right now, I feel like I’ve been sucker punched multiple times. Because I never realized just how far I’d fallen.
There is no going back for me. She’s it. And there’s a good chance I missed my shot.
Years ago.
Her song finishes, and yet, I stare ahead at the darkened stage, completely blown away, my heart lodged in my throat. And it’s not until the lights come back on that I snap out of it and immediately lift my whiskey back to my lips but hold off on taking a sip, putting it back on the bar instead.
I’m not sure what I just witnessed, but I know it was pure magic.
A small part of me even feels like I should be jealous, but I’m too focused on Lainey and her story to care about the fact that she was with another man. Nothing could have pulled me from that moment.
I order another drink, a soda this time, and sigh as my racing pulse slows. But when I overhear the servers discussing Lainey taking over at the bar, a fresh wave of emotion flows through me. Just the mention of her name has my entire body tensing, and while I’m sure that’s the idea behind this club—that they want people to feel something—this is so much more.
I don’t move for a bit, the weight of my thoughts keeping my body pressed into the chair, but when I see Lainey walking out from backstage, I stand. Now wearing a different dress, with her pink hair tied up and her face flush from the dance, she’s difficult to look away from. She has a just-fucked look about her, and more than anything I want to be the one putting that look on her face. Every. Day. Multiple times.
Every inch of my body and soul wants to go to her, to fall to my knees and beg her to forgive me, to demand she be mine. But she asked me to stay away until she’d finished, so that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’m willing to endure the torture.
As everyone around her sings her praises, she smiles brightly, clearly in her element, but I see the way her eyes subtly bounce around the room, looking for someone. Looking for me. And while I’d desperately love to get her attention, I won’t ruin it for her. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.
Escaping to a quiet corner, I sit back, watching her like a voyeur, mentally taking note of everything she does, taking stock of every laugh, every smile, every frown, desperate to catch up on years of her life—to know everything about her.
And as I do, I fall harder.
She spends a full hour smiling and flirting with everyone she serves and yet…I want her more than I want anything in this life. I’ve been so fucking blind, because none of these feelings are foreign to me. I’ve felt them for years. For Lainey. I’m only now realizing what they mean. And it explains so much. It’s why I haven’t been able to move on. It’s her.
Another dancer approaches her at the bar, and they talk for a moment before Lainey takes off her apron and leaves, immediately walking backstage.
The music slows, but my heart continues to race at the thought of finally getting to talk to her, to touch her, to show her and everyone here that she’s taken. Even though she’s not.
I slowly drink my now warm soda as I wait, and when I see her next, she’s on the dance floor, being pulled into the arms of another man. But like earlier, it doesn’t affect me. There’s no one else in the room but us, and it’s time she knew I was here.