Epilogue One
Three Months Later
Lainey
Istare at the nondescript building, my eyes drawn to the bright patch above the entry. The patch I’m guessing used to house a sign for whatever business this is, but now works to highlight the discolor of the white brickwork.
“What am I looking at?” I ask Thomas, my gaze flashing to him out of the corner of my eye.
“It’s…a dance studio,” he says hesitantly before stepping a little to his left and out of arm’s reach.
“Why are you moving away?”
“Because I’ve witnessed the damage your fist can do, and I know after everything that happened between us, we’re not supposed to try and fix each other anymore.”
“Is that what we’re doing here?” My brows furrow as I glance back to the building. “Are you trying to fix me?”
“No, not at all. I’m simply presenting you with an option, then leaving it in your hands.” He pauses, and I can feel his intense gaze on the side of my face. “So…should we go in?” he adds, comically gritting his teeth when I look his way, his brows rising as he nervously chuckles.
“What happens if I say no?” I raise an eyebrow in challenge, trying not to smile while my heart races, his gesture and slight panic making me swoon.
“Then you say no.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal, and yet, I get the feeling it is.
When my eyes roam back to the building again, Thomas steps closer, intertwining our fingers before squeezing my hand. I don’t say anything for the longest minute, and he waits, patiently giving me the chance to think it through.
“Okay,” I whisper as I take my first step, feeling the warmth of Thomas’s support while he rubs his thumb across my skin. He’s nervous, as he should be, but I’ve got to admit it’s adorable.
When we reach the threshold, I take a deep breath, but the second I step inside, it feels like home. I’ve spent so long trying to escape my life as a dancer that I actually forgot how much I wanted it.
Ballet was my dream. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to dance, but all it took was one bad experience to bring it crashing down.
And one smile from Thomas to build it back up again.
Without him, I never would have stepped back onto that stage, and without him, I wouldn’t have considered walking through this door. But I’m happy I did.
“It’s beautiful, Thomas.” The art deco style makes me think of the speakeasy, and I can’t help but smile. “Are we meeting the owner?”
As I ask, my eyes bounce around the room, taking in the finishings, the light, the warmth. It’s incredibly inviting.
“You are the owner,” Thomas states plainly, drawing my attention.
“I’m what?”
My jaw drops and he chuckles before spinning me to face him, his gaze turning serious.
“It’s just a building, Lainey. If it’s not what you want, we’ll find a way to repurpose it. Joel mentioned that Delilah’s been looking for a bigger warehouse for her clothing business, and in the future, Lucy might want to branch out on her own and will need a physical therapy room. It doesn’t have to be a dance studio. Like I said, it’s just an option.”
Guilt gnaws away at me as I swallow down the emotion clogging my throat. Thomas has given me this highly romantic, not to mention expensive present, and I can’t even say for sure it’s what I want.
Ten years ago, this would have meant everything to me, and I wish I still felt that way. Especially now. But I’m only just starting to dance again.
“Before you decide, there’s one more surprise.”
“Thomas…”
“Wait, hear me out. I know I only mentioned it briefly, but I’ve been looking for a new agent, and well, Dylan introduced me to a sports agent he knew, Seth.”
“Okay.” I have no idea where he’s going with this, unless… “Are you moving again?” My pitch rises, failing to hide my nerves.
“What?” Thomas’s eyes widen. “No, of course not. Storm is my team. I’m mentioning Seth because his daughter wants to dance—she has danced. But she, uh…she hasn’t been treated very well in the past and—”
“You thought I’d be able to relate to her.” A tension tugs at my heart, but he’s right.
“Yes.” He cringes. “Is that bad?”
“No.” I shake my head frantically. “God, no. But I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
“I know. She just wants to meet you. If you decide not to teach dancing then maybe you can offer her advice.”
“Okay.” I can do that. I think. “Is she here now?”
“She will be. I also invited a couple of other friends.”
Like clockwork, a man looking to be in his late thirties walks in holding hands with a little girl around twelve, and following are Wes and Katie, then Cory and Addie. I can’t help but smile as I watch them through the glass windows, and when I catch Katie wearing a Storm football jersey and a tutu, I bark out a laugh. God, I love her.
“Did they ask to come along or were they coaxed?” I turn to Thomas, my thoughts on Katie mentioning she wanted to be a football player.
Thomas raises his hands in the air. “It was all them. I swear.”
Katie and Addie are the first to run into the room, with Addie twirling and Katie leaping into Thomas’s arms, while the older girl hovers near the entry.
“Would you like to join us?” I ask, keeping my smile warm and giving her the space to ease into things.
She smiles back at me before her apprehensive expression moves to the man I’m assuming is Seth. It takes one knowing look and an encouraging nod before she steps in.
“Hi, I’m Bailey,” she says, bouncing on her toes as she holds out her hand for me to shake. “And I have cerebral palsy.” The words slip easily from her mouth, and it fills me with warmth as I place my hand in hers.
“Hi Bailey, I’m Lainey. It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Thank you.”
“I hear you want to dance?”
“I do.” She beams. “I love dancing though it’s hard for me to do sometimes. Dad told me that you may not be running dance classes here, but he thought I should still meet you.”
My heart breaks for her as a hint of sadness enters her tone. “How about we run through a few things today, just for fun, and we’ll see what happens after that. What do you say, girls?” I turn to the group, my smile widening at the joy on their faces.
Idance around with the kids for an hour, teaching them some basics—well, teaching Katie and Addie the basics, since Bailey knows quite a bit—and by the time we’re done, I have to admit, I feel like I’ve got a bit of my spark back.
“Okay, you well and truly pulled at my heartstrings with this one,” I say to Thomas when we’re alone. “You did all of this?”
“I had help.” He shrugs again and I almost punch him, just like he expected me to.
“Thomas—”
“Okay. I spent a lot of time on this. After watching you dance and seeing the way your entire demeanor changes, I had to do something. I have the means, and I wanted to give you the opportunity to dance and work with kids, while also allowing you to set the pace. This is all up to you. It’s yours to do what you want with it. But I can’t take all the credit.” He smiles and my heart stops. “I dragged Dylan and Luke along for the ride. I was hoping three professional football players might have more sway.”
“What does that mean? You were trying to use your status to get a discount on the space?” He lifts a shoulder in a noncommittal answer and I laugh. “Did it work?”
“Nope. I actually think she charged us more. She said if we paid a little extra, she’d leave all the equipment. So, of course, we signed right away, but I’ve since been doing my research and…”
“She hustled you.” I bite back a smile.
“She did.”
“I love it, Thomas,” I say honestly, pulling him closer, wrapping one of his hands around my waist before lifting the other beside us. “And I love you. Let’s talk more about it at home, but first… What do you say? Should we dance?”
Thomas laughs, not only because he’s used that line on me many times before, but also because he knows I love any excuse to say the word home. I moved in with him last week, and I’m still giddy about it. Was it fast? Yes, if you only take into account that we reconnected a few months back. But when you consider how long we’ve loved each other, it was the perfect moment. When you know, you know.
Thomas squeezes my hand, bringing me back to the present, and I can’t stop my beaming smile.
“I guess we can dance,” he says with a grin. “You know, since you went out of your way to position me like this. DJ,” he calls out, looking over my shoulder. “Play ‘I Swear’ by All-4-One.”
I burst out laughing, but when “I Swear” starts to play, my jaw drops as I spin around, finding Wes near Thomas’s phone.
“Katie left her bag, and I was here…” He smirks as he lifts a shoulder in a half shrug.
“It was perfect timing,” Thomas says. “Like magic.”
I stand in shock as the two of them laugh.
“Now, I’m going to abracadabra my way out of here,” Wes says with a wave. “Consider me gone. Have fun, you two. And thank you, Lainey. Katie won’t stop smiling.”
He disappears out of sight before I have the chance to respond, and then Thomas and I are alone.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Thomas says with a cheesy grin, making me laugh while my heart flutters.
“You, Thomas Kelly, are really something.”
“I’m trying.” He pulls me back into his arms, spinning me around with a smile, and there we dance. In my dance studio. Arm in arm, eyes locked on each other, my pulse racing.
It’s surreal and wonderful and perfect…
Yet, I’m still not completely sure it’s my calling. But how do I admit that when I don’t know what my calling is?
Thomas
For the next few weeks, Lainey moves forward with the dance studio—teaching Katie, Addie, and Bailey—and it’s easy to see she’s a natural.
But while she’s all smiles when she finishes a class, and always talks about how much she adores teaching, she’s willing to admit something is missing. And even I can see it.
When we’re getting ready for bed after a long day, Lainey runs her fingers through her hair, smiling as she fills me in on the session she had with Bailey. And it makes me smile.
I will never take these little moments for granted. Having someone to unpack my day with is not something I ever thought about, but it makes a huge difference to my life. To Lainey’s life. Rather than bottling things up—a trait we both seem to have inherited—we now share everything. The good, the bad, the boring little details that no one else would ever care about. We never let a day go by without touching base, no matter where we are. Whether I’m playing a preseason game out of town, or Lainey’s working late at the speakeasy, we always check in, even if it’s as simple as a message to say, “I’m okay.”
Lainey’s entire face lights up when she tells me about Bailey nailing a new move she’d been struggling with, and it hits me. When Lainey talks about Bailey, her face always lights up. There’s a special air about her.
“What is it about working with Bailey that you prefer over teaching the younger girls?” I ask as I settle into bed, reaching for her hand when she slides under the covers. “Is it her age or something else?”
Lainey spins to face me, frowning as she sits up. “I love teaching Katie and Addie.”
“I know.” I chuckle, reaching up to rub the worry lines between her brows. “No one is questioning that. I just see something ignite in you when you work with Bailey…when you talk about her. I can’t explain it.” Her puzzled expression deepens, making me laugh again. “Never mind.” I run my thumb along her cheek. “Maybe it’s just me.”
“Maybe, or maybe I just haven’t noticed.” She shrugs before lying back down and getting comfortable, wriggling until she fits perfectly beside me, both of us facing the window that leads out to the roof.
“Are you still catching up with Summer tomorrow?” Lainey asks after we’ve been quiet for a beat. “Do you want me to come?”
“I am, and thank you, but I’ll be okay.”
After a few months of therapy, it’s time to talk to Summer about everything that’s been going on. I held back for a while, worried she’d take on some of the guilt, but I’m finally taking the plunge, knowing that she’ll be more devastated if I keep it to myself. Especially since I’m considering speaking about it publicly, using my story to raise awareness for others.
“You’re doing the right thing,” Lainey says, repositioning herself with her head on my chest. “And your relationship will only get stronger because of it.”
Just like she said she would, Lainey has been there for me every step of the way since the moment she first uttered the word “depression,” and despite her constantly telling me otherwise, I couldn’t do it without her. It hasn’t been an easy road, with acceptance being one of the hardest things to work through, but I’m getting there. Life is definitely looking brighter.
And it’s all thanks to shining star beside me. To Lainey.
“Depression?” Summer gasps as her hand flies to her mouth, the tears that were already welling in her eyes now falling down her cheeks. “All this time?” she asks.
I take a sip of my water and nod. While I’d been nervous about what I was going to say today, the second I sat down on her couch and admitted my first truth, it started flowing. I told Summer about my thoughts and feelings, about faking relationships so that I didn’t feel like such an outsider, about my guilt. I even admitted to the anger I felt when she left.
With tears in her eyes, Summer listened, only speaking when I finally told her about my depression.
“I think I’ve had it since I was a teenager,” I admit, though that’s something I’m still working through. After talking to my therapist, I realized I’ve had a darkness inside me for a while; I just always found ways of distracting myself.
“How did I miss that? I should have known.” Summer wipes at her eyes as panic takes over her. The same panic I felt when I realized I should have seen the signs of her abuse.
“I hid it. From you. From my friends. From myself. I never thought I had a reason to feel down, so I locked the feelings away. I didn’t have physical scars for you to notice. Not like—”
“Nope.” She shakes her head. “We are not going there again. I did the same. I hid my pain just like you did.”
“Imagine how different our lives would be if we’d spoken to each other,” I say, reflecting on what could have been.
“Some things may have been better, sure, but we may not have had the same relationships with Dylan and Lainey, and I for one wouldn’t change that.” Summer smiles softly, and I huff out a laugh.
“You’re right. There’s me looking at the negatives again. I’m working on it.”
“So you’re seeing someone?”
“I am. And she’s been amazing.”
Summer’s lips pull into a smile, and she squeezes my leg. “And Lainey?”
“Is a godsend. I’d still be a mess without her.”
“You know I once said she should be a therapist,” Summer says thoughtfully, and I smile, picturing Lainey’s face on hearing that.
“I bet she laughed at you. She doesn’t think highly of the way she handled things when we were together years ago. Not that I did any better. We were both in a bad place.”
“She still wanted to help you. At the end of the day, she’s got a caring nature.”
“She does,” I agree. “And who knows, maybe there’s something in that.” I’m quiet as I store that thought away and turn to Summer. “Back to us… I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I should have brought this all up years ago. I should have told you how I’d been feel—”
“No,” Summer cuts me off, shaking her head. “How about we agree to be honest from now on, but stop apologizing for the past. After all, we can’t change it.”
“Well, look at that. After all these years, you’re still the wiser one of the two of us. I think that’s a great idea.”
With the heavy discussion out of the way, we spend the afternoon trying to focus more on the present than the past, and I walk away feeling like a weight has been lifted. Like I’ve actually healed another wound rather than my usual Band-Aid approach.
When I get home, I update Lainey on how it all went, but when I ask her about her day, I sense she’s holding back.
She’s quiet throughout dinner, and it’s not until I’m outside, staring up at the stars, that I finally understand why.
“I’ve decided what I want to do,” Lainey announces, making me startle.
“Jesus.” I spin around so quickly, I almost knock her over. “I didn’t realize you were there.” I curl an arm around her shoulder and secure her against me, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. A sense of relief hits me as I step away, looking her in the eyes to give her my full attention. “Hit me with it, and tell me how I can help.”
“I want to go back to college,” she says, taking a deep breath, her expression uncertain. “I want to be a dance therapist. I want to use dance to help kids—or adults, I guess—with movement, rehabilitation, strength, confidence. Anything I can.”
A dance therapist? Summer was right. It takes me all of two seconds to process that before I realize how brilliant an idea it is. “You can do that?” I ask, excited by the prospect, making Lainey laugh.
“Yeah. I can. Maybe. I’d need to finish my undergrad degree, which I can do here in San Francisco. But then I may need to travel for my master’s, and I’d need to do clinical practice. It’s going to take a long time. It’s silly, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s perfect.” My smile widens as I pull her back into my hold. “And wherever you have to be, we’ll make it work.”
“Are you sure? I don’t even know if I’ll get in and—”
“Of course I’m sure. I think you’d be amazing at it. But I’m curious, where did the idea come from?”
“You,” she says, a little embarrassed. “And Bailey. I think it would really benefit her, and I’m going to see if I can find someone in the area to help her before I’m qualified.”
I try to think of the right words to say, but before I can speak, Lainey laughs nervously. “You’re doing it again.”
“What?”
“Looking at me like you’re in awe.”
“Good,” I say with a smile. “I hope I never stop. I am in awe of you, Lainey. You’re going places. Reach for the stars. They’ve always been on our side.”