Chapter Fifty-Five
Lainey
Istare at Summer, trying hard not to let my jaw drop. Meanwhile, Thomas doesn’t even bother hiding his shock.
“Is that even possible?” he says with wide eyes. “Josh is still a baby.”
“Yep, it’s possible,” Summer says, softly rubbing her belly. “Because it happened.”
Turns out, Summer fainted due to stress and not eating or drinking enough while creating a tiny human inside her. Josh is only six months old and they’re having a second.
“Will that make them Irish twins?” I accidentally ask, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. “Sorry.” I grimace. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“I’m only eight weeks pregnant,” Summer says. “So technically if this one goes to full term, they’ll be born just over a year apart.”
“Well, there you go. Either way, it’s exciting. Congratulations!” I smile wide, reaching out to squeeze Summer’s arm as she smiles back warmly.
“Another baby,” Thomas says out of nowhere, an awe in his tone that has Summer’s eyes lighting up, full of so much love.
“Another baby,” Dylan repeats, and it’s the first time I’ve heard him speak since we arrived.
Thomas’s eyes flash to Dylan’s and he laughs. “How are you doing over there?” he asks with a bit of cheek. “You look a little pale.”
“I think I’m still processing.” He shakes his head.
Summer laughs before turning my way. “How do you feel about extending your contract?” she asks, and my heart races. I love looking after Josh and working with Summer and Dylan, but I’m not sure I want to do it long-term.
Summer giggles again, and I look at Dylan and Thomas to see what she’s laughing at, until I realize she’s laughing at me. “Now you’re the one that looks pale.”
Shit. “No, it’s not that. I just…” I trail off with no idea what to say.
“You need to figure out what you want out of life,” Thomas finishes for me, making my heart jolt.
“Yeah,” I rush out, offering Thomas a grateful smile. “I’m sorry, Summer.” I wince. “But don’t worry, I’m not planning on leaving you anytime soon. I’m just not sure what I’ll be doing long-term.”
“We completely understand. But…” She turns to Thomas, one of her brows lifted to show her intrigue. ”What I don’t get is how Thomas knew that.”
“I’m in love with her.” He shrugs while my heart explodes with the same love.
“You’re what?” Dylan and Summer say at the same time before Summer adds, “Didn’t you just meet?”
“Not exactly.” I grimace with a small grin. “But it’s a long story, and I want to get back to Josh. Not that I don’t trust Joel—”
“I don’t,” Dylan cuts in. “I wouldn’t trust that guy as far as I can throw him,” he jokes. At least I hope he’s joking, otherwise I’m fired.
“Shut up,” Summer says with a laugh. “He’s the best person to be looking after Josh right now. I told Lainey to call him or Lucy in an emergency. Though Josh will be missing us, and you too, Lainey. So, I appreciate that. But I want the full story when I get home. And you…” She turns to Thomas again, her lips pursed, making him cringe. “You have just made me the happiest sister in the world.” She smiles as tears prick her eyes. “Sorry, it’s the hormones,” she adds, eliciting laughter from the rest of us. “I just want you to be happy, and I love Lainey.”
“Thank you.” My stomach twists in knots. I wasn’t expecting this to all come out today. Now. But I’m glad that it has. “I promise we’ll tell you everything when you’re home. For now, look after yourself and your littlest one.”
We say our goodbyes, and as we walk out of the hospital, Thomas grabs my hand, linking our fingers in a very coupley gesture. “Is this okay?” he asks, and my chest warms.
“It’s perfect,” I say honestly, because even though I’m nervous about it all, it’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. Who knew such a simple connection could mean so much. There’s no more hiding—from others, each other, or ourselves—and God, that feels good.
When we get home, Joel and Josh are laughing in the living room as they roll around on the floor. But as soon as Josh sees me, he abandons his game and rolls onto his back, reaching out for me to lift him.
“All okay?” I mouth to Joel before turning back to Josh. “I missed you, Little Man. How was Uncle Joel?”
“We had a great time, didn’t we, J-Man,” Joel says, ruffling Josh’s hair as he stands up. “There were a few tears, but he was easy to distract. How’s Summer?”
“She’s good,” Thomas says. “She was lucky. She hit a fence with her shoulder as she fell, and it sounds like it propelled her toward the edge of the grass. So while she still hit the concrete, it wasn’t as much of an impact as it could have been.”
Joel sighs. “That’s a relief, and the baby’s all good?”
“What?” I bark out. Joel has such a blank expression that my eyes flash to Thomas’s before moving back his way. Is he guessing?
He laughs out loud as he shakes his head. “Your faces. Dylan called while you were driving home. That guy can’t keep a secret to save himself.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep.” His smile widens before he bounces his eyebrows. “I thought you’d ‘barely seen him,’” Joel says to me, referring to what I said about Thomas living here. “Guess it was an instant connection then.”
Jesus. Dylan really can’t keep his mouth shut. “Yeah…uh…it’s been a little longer than that.”
“So you’re the girl.” He nods knowingly, only I have no idea what he’s referring to. “Lainey’s the reason you were bringing around fake dates?” he says to Thomas. “So no one asked you any questions?”
Holy shit.Joel’s observant, I’ll give him credit for that, but he’s wrong in this case. Not that we need to tell him that.
“That’s exactly right,” Thomas says, smiling my way. “But how the fuck did you know that?”
“One of your dates, a few years back. She said the two of you were just friends and that, quote, ‘I think he might be a virgin. We all talk and no one has ever slept with him.’” My eyes widen but I can’t hide my laugh as he continues. “Since I knew that wasn’t true, I figured there had to be another reason.”
“Maybe I wasn’t interested in sex, or maybe I preferred men?” Thomas says, making my head snap his way.
“Both could have been true.” Joel shrugs. “But you know we’re all supportive, and you would have had a crack at Eli. That guy is dreamy. No one can resist him.”
Thomas and Joel laugh while my eyes bounce between them. “Who’s Eli?”
“A friend of Delilah’s. You’ll meet him one day. He often comes to our Friendsgiving parties.”
“Your what?” Why do I feel like we just went from zero to one hundred without even explicitly confirming with anyone that we were a couple.
“Welcome to the family,” Joel says with the most comical smile I’ve ever seen. It’s a little scary if I’m being honest. He squeezes my shoulder as my eyes flash to Thomas, my expression wary.
“Stop,” Thomas admonishes. “Don’t scare her off.”
“I’m sorry. In all seriousness, it was nice to hear you are together. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Joel.” I smile, but this “family” stuff is going to take a bit of getting used to. Though if one positive has come out of this conversation, it’s that I now understand Thomas a whole lot more. As an outsider, the way this group works is a little intimidating, and he’s always felt like an outsider.
“If you’re all good here, I’m going to head off to see my girls,” Joel says. “Delilah will be thrilled with Summer’s news, and I want to tell her before Lucy or Cory do.”
Jesus. This is going to be interesting.
Joel says goodbye, and the second he’s gone, I turn to Thomas. “I get it,” I say, pulling him into a side hug, careful not to squish Josh who giggles at the movement.
Thomas huffs out a laugh. “You do get used to it.”
“Yeah, but…” I can’t even imagine how he felt, thinking he was alone and having to watch how close this group was.
“At least we have each other, right?” he asks, his brows high in question.
“Yes.” I giggle, pressing my lips to his cheek. “We definitely have that.”
When Summer and Dylan get home around nine p.m., I miraculously have Josh tucked up in bed. From Summer’s giddy expression, I can tell she wants to talk, but thankfully, Dylan drags her away, telling me she needs to rest. And I’m not going to argue.
Thomas stayed with me for the rest of the day, playing with Josh, showing me the happy, fun-loving uncle side of him that I’ve seen before with Katie.
Not once did he frown while he was with us, but when I lifted Josh into my arms to take him to bed, the smile momentarily dropped.
As I got Josh ready, Thomas went out for a walk, and I hate that a little part of me questioned if I could trust him. If I could believe he wasn’t out searching for a drink, or going back on everything he told me. We’ve got a long way to go, but we’ve started the conversation, and I think that’s a step in the right direction.
After what felt like the longest and most emotional day, I’ve just stepped into the pool house and dropped my back against the door when someone knocks, and I don’t have to ask to know that it’s Thomas. A warmth runs through me at getting to see him again, but I’m still worried about what I’ll find on the other side of the threshold.
“Hi,” I say, opening up with a smile, holding the door wide as I gesture for him to come in.
Thomas takes a deep breath and steps past before turning to face me, a serious expression marking his features. “I think I have depression,” he says, and my heart shatters for him, the broken shards scratching me from the inside, helping me to feel his pain. And I don’t even think that’s half of what he feels.
Thomas grabs my hand, leading me to the couch before sitting down beside me, and I want to say something, but I can tell by his expression that he’s not finished. “I called Joel when you were reading to Josh earlier, and… Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” My face falls, though I’m not sure what he thought I was doing in the first place.
“Like I just saved a kitten from a burning building. Like I’m a hero.”
Oh. That. I imagine my expression reads just like his did for me this morning. When I told him my truth.
“I’m looking at you like that because I feel that way. Because I’m proud of you. Because for the first time in forever, you spoke to someone about what you were feeling.”
“I speak to you.”
“Someone other than me. A trained professional. A friend.” Summer mentioned that Joel was a child psychologist, so while he’s not exactly the right person for Thomas to speak to, he was definitely the best choice.
“Fuck, that was hard.” Thomas runs his hand down his face, and I can see the stress in his expression. “And I feel guilty thinking about it. What right do I have to be depressed with my life? I have it easy and—”
“It doesn’t work that way, Thomas.” He shakes his head while I’m speaking, and I lift to my knees, shuffling closer. “You should never feel guilty about how you feel. Especially for this. Depression doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone, and I’ll guarantee it affects more people than you think. People with lives perceivably better than yours. It’s just not talked about enough.”
Thomas’s brows furrow as a puzzled expression mars his features. “Joel said the same. Why the hell didn’t I talk about how I felt? I could have saved us both a lot of heartache.”
“I thought you said you don’t regret the decision to push me away.”
“I don’t. But if I’d known, maybe I could have contacted you sooner, texted you back.”
“Thomas.” I grab his face in my hands as I slide into his lap, just like I did in his truck. His hands automatically wrap around my waist, and for a moment, we just stare into each other’s eyes.
“No more thinking about the past,” I whisper, holding his gaze. “Except for the good parts. Like—”
“Dancing in the rain,” he finishes for me, almost smiling.
“Yes, and messed-up song lyrics, romance novels that don’t have happy endings, laughs, smiles, kisses that mean everything, the connection we have and have had since the first night you stepped into my room.”
Thomas finally chuckles, but while it’s soft, relief hits me. “Thank you,” he whispers, his fingers tightening on my back. “Without you, I wouldn’t have taken the step to talk to Joel. There wouldn’t be new hope floating inside me. With so many reasons to stay away, you’re still here. And I need you to know that I never want to live without you again. I’m in love with you, Lainey. I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen, and I don’t want to hold back anymore. You are my one. It’s always been you, and I plan to spend the rest of my life making up for lost time.”
My heart jolts as though he’s squeezing it with each declaration, or putting the broken pieces back together, bringing me to life with his words. It’s always been him too, from the moment I first saw him. And I wish I’d known how monumental that moment was, as I’d hung upside down, my heart skipping for the first time.
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that it’s a rocky road, but that boy—your brother’s teammate and best friend—will one day be your future. He’s the light at the end of the tunnel; you just have to dig through the dirt to get there.
“I love you too, Thomas. And no matter where life takes us, I want it to be with you. I want to help.”
“Fuck, Lainey.” With effortless movements, he lifts me into his arms and spins me around, lowering me onto the couch, smothering me in a tight embrace. “I’ve been waiting years for this moment,” he says, pressing his lips to mine before settling his head over my heart.
He starts singing “This Year’s Love,” by David Gray, but of course, he messes up the first line, singing “at last” instead of the actual words. Either way, it’s fitting, and I truly believe this is it for us.
“How’d I do?” he asks when he’s done, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.
“Nailed it,” I lie until I remember we promised each other we wouldn’t lie anymore. “Actually, you were wrong. Again. But I loved it anyway.”
“Damn it. What did I mess up? I was sure…” he trails off when his eyes lock with mine, a genuine smile crossing his face. “I love you, Lainey Bennett. Now come here. It’s time we consummated this relationship, and after that, I want your help. I want to talk to someone about depression, and I’d love for you to be there with me.”
“Every step of the way,” I say honestly, smiling back at him with what I’m sure is the same awe. “But I’m not sure the consummation works that way,” I sass until he jumps to his feet, immediately lifting me up and throwing me over his shoulder, carrying me into the bedroom as I laugh uncontrollably.
“We make our own rules. It’s you and me against the world. And our time starts now.”
Iwake to the feel of Thomas’s fingers brushing over my skin, the gentle rhythm making me shiver. When I moan, he presses his lips to my shoulder, his short hair tickling my cheek.
“Good morning, Beautiful,” he whispers, his husky voice making me smile.
“It’s a great morning,” I rasp. “I could definitely get used to waking up like this.”
“I plan to.” Thomas states plainly, his confidence making me laugh, though he won’t see me complaining. Rolling over in his arms, I curl one arm around his waist, tucking myself into his side.
“Do you have plans today?” I ask, my fingers tracing the lines of his abs. “I’m looking after Josh, starting at eleven again, but I’ve got nothing on before that.” I’d love to be able to spend the morning in bed, wrapped in his arms, breathing him in.
“I have no plans at all, and I’m yours all morning. I’m up for anything as long as I get to see that smile.” He bites his lip as he smirks, and I’m sure he’s thinking something sexual, but I have other ideas.
“Anything?” I ask with a sassy grin of my own. It’s time we focused more on being happy; we’ve had enough heavy for the past twenty-four hours.
“Within reason.” Thomas winces, obviously understanding me, and I burst out laughing.
“How about a matching tattoo?”
“Done.”
“And maybe more dancing in the rain.”
“Too easy. I’d love that.”
“Pink hair?”
“Come on, I have to draw the line somewhere.”
I laugh as he flips me onto my back, running his fingers through my pink strands. “Though I do love yours. Have you ever thought about turquoise?”
“Turquoise?” I giggle. “To match your team colors?”
“Yep, it would go perfectly with my jersey when you watch the games with my name across your back.”
“Possessive much?” I joke, faking an eye roll.
“When it comes to you I am.”
A buzz runs through me, but I keep things casual, shaking my head. “You know I could dye my hair black again,” I say with a smirk. “That’s one of your colors too.”
“But not nearly as much fun.” Thomas laughs before smothering me in a bruising kiss, filling me with so much emotion, I melt into him. If you asked me when I was fifteen if I’d one day be wearing Thomas’s jersey, I would have said yes, but I would have been hiding it under the one for my brother. Now I get to wear it proudly, as his girl, and I’ve never been happier.
“I love you and I can’t wait to wear your jersey, but more than that, I can’t wait to be your girl.”
“Oh, Lainey.” He tsks before smiling. “You’ve always been my girl.”
After another hour in bed, Thomas and I are walking, arm in arm, across the yard when Summer comes rushing out the back door, her face lit up in excitement.
“Who won the jackpot?” Thomas asks as we both laugh.
“My big brother’s in love. I hope you don’t have any plans. I cooked breakfast.”
“You did?” Thomas forces a smile, but it’s an obvious one, and I’m not sure what I’m missing; I’d love some breakfast.
“Okay.” Summer crinkles her nose with a grimace. “Dylan made breakfast. But it was my idea. And for the record”—she turns my way—“I’m not a bad cook. I just don’t do it that often, and when I do, it’s basic. I’ve even cooked for you before,” she exclaims, lightly shoving Thomas as he laughs.
“No judgment here.” I raise my hands, smiling at their banter, hoping we can one day get to a place where this is the norm for them and there’s no darkness surrounding it. But first they need to have a long talk…about everything.
“Great. So let’s get breakfast. I want to know your story. All of it.”
I smile as I follow them inside the house, a feeling of peace settling over me. I will always wish we’d never spent those years apart, or that we’d never been through what we did. But this feels right. And instead of running from our past or hiding, this time, we’re in it together, and we’re going to use our past to strengthen our relationship, to learn from our mistakes. Because we both deserve to be happy. And I’m more in love with him today than I’ve ever been before.
Thomas glances over his shoulder to check that I’m following, and when I smile, he smirks.
“You sure you want to know from the beginning?” he says to Summer, making me jokingly groan as I laugh.
Summer nods as Thomas wraps his arm around her shoulder before reaching for my hand, giving it a squeeze. “Well, Summer. It all started when I was eighteen and I walked into the wrong room…”