Chapter 8 Chase
Chase
The other night at the party, in the bathroom, was torturous. Being that close to her, and not kissing her, not touching her all over, drove me crazy.
Lena was quite disappointed when I had the car drop her off straight from the event. She obviously had an expectation of how the night was going to end for her. There was no way I could touch anyone else that night. Not after the moment Maryellen and I shared in the bathroom.
I don’t know what made me follow her. It was almost instinct. But I had to.
And now, as I touched her, the feel of her skin under my finger wasn’t enough. I needed her in my arms. There was a desire to pull her to standing, push her against the wall, and rub my body against hers.
I knew I couldn’t touch her the way I wanted to. Not only did I promise her I wouldn’t, but I promised myself.
As my finger lingered on her knee, a small moan escaped her throat. Instead of pushing my hand away, she stared at it, then me. With eyes that betrayed her.
Any discipline remaining in me shattered.
“Maryellen.” I didn’t recognize the rasp of my own voice as I whispered her name. That was what she did to me. She changed me. I was never myself around her. “Do you know how much I’ve missed you? These past few months I’ve tried to forget and move on, but you make it impossible.”
My hand gripped her thigh through the material of her skirt as I leaned forward.
I found my mouth against her throat as her pulse beat erratically against my lips.
Her scent, a mix of woodiness with a touch of sweetness, intoxicated me as I moved behind her ear, my lips rubbing along the tender skin.
“Seeing you every day is like a slow torture for me,” I whispered into her hair.
Her head tilted back, granting more access to her slender, delicate neck. Her hand went around my head as her fingers threaded through my hair, and she held me in place.
She wanted this, too. I could feel it in the air around us. The sexual tension was palpable.
It had been too long since our lips touched. I cradled her face in my hand, desperate for our mouths to come together.
That was when she pulled away the slightest bit.
I knew I’d lost her. This wasn’t happening.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. And I was, for making her uncomfortable. I wasn’t sorry for finding out she still wanted me, in some small way.
As I watched her smooth her skirt and fix her hair, I was able to see her, really see her, for a quick moment. She briefly let her guard down, and when she did, her expression altered.
Her downturned eyes stared at the ground in front of her, and her movements were slower than normal.
She seemed sad. For a second, I had hope she’d been missing us and what we had.
I knew she was afraid of Gage finding out, company policy and all.
Shit, I was the fucking boss here too. And Gage went above the rules with his relationship with Harper, so there was that. I only needed to convince Maryellen.
Reaching out, I touched her knee, but this time firmly and with purpose. It got her attention as she raised her somber eyes.
“Hey, I’m sorry, Mare. I really am. I didn’t mean to put you in this position. I miss you, that’s all it is.” I gave her a boyish grin, hoping it would lighten the mood.
She smiled back, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“I’m sorry too, Chase. We shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have let this happen. Not here. You know I wish our circumstances were different.”
Yep, so did I. But they weren’t, and there didn’t seem to be any way of convincing her otherwise.
“Let’s get to your schedule. Should we move to my desk? It might be…better,” she said.
We both stood, and as we did, her phone and tablet fell from the chair. She reached for her tablet while I retrieved her phone. As I did, it lit up with a text.
From Garrett.
He was picking her up Friday at seven for dinner.
I tried to make it look like I hadn’t just invaded her privacy as I handed her phone back. She took it, obviously checking it as we all do. She was immediately typing a response to Garrett, I had to assume. Who I’ve now nicknamed dickhead.
This was now at least the third time they were going out.
Did she have a boyfriend?
I got a bad vibe from him on Friday night. Can’t place exactly what it was about him, but there was something I didn’t like.
My palms were sweating as I followed her out of the room and to the elevator. We stood on opposite sides of the car and walked on opposite sides of the hall to her desk.
We sat, we talked, we planned, we organized.
Yet I had no idea what we actually said. I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was the fact that my hand had been on her thigh and five minutes later she was confirming a date with someone else.
The irony wasn’t lost on me. Was it karma? I didn’t necessarily believe in karma. Maybe it was something like that trying to teach me a lesson, considering what I’ve been up to. But it was all to forget about her. Because she didn’t want us to be together.
And the mood, the feeling between us, had cooled. I could feel it. Maybe she sensed my agitation about him, though I tried to hide it.
“Chase.” She said my name firmly and with conviction; she knew I hadn’t been paying attention.
I glanced up and noticed she avoided looking directly at me as she fiddled with a pencil on her desk.
“Thank you for understanding earlier.” Then she paused.
I wasn’t sure if she was going to say anything further.
I was about to get up and leave because if I said anything to her right now it would include something about dickhead.
But she cleared her throat, so I stayed.
“We met at the wrong time in our lives. I know we could have been good. It feels right when we’re together. I can’t risk it, ya know?”
I didn’t want to be a dick, though it was my first inclination. Maryellen had always influenced me to be a better version of myself. Except when I was forced to think about her fucking someone else.
I couldn’t do it and stay sane.
All I could do was nod, stand, and walk away.
Yep, back to being a dick.
I hadn’t walked through the door of this shop since the first time I met Harper. And that meeting didn’t go as planned. The bell above the door still announced my arrival as I stepped inside. Once I did, the scents of every flower imaginable overwhelmed my senses.
“I’ll be right there,” Harper called from the back.
I wandered around the shop admiring the work of both Harper and the owner, Fiona. Their arrangements were all over our offices, though I rarely took the time to stop and notice them. They did good work. Better than good—it was amazing.
“Chase?” The surprise in Harper’s voice wasn’t unexpected.
“Hey, what’s up?”
She wore her work apron and was still adorable with her wispy hair up in one of those buns. Her smile grew as I approached, and she wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug.
“Everything OK?” she asked.
I was taking a chance by coming here. Though I was pretty sure Harper knew about Maryellen and me, I needed to make sure she was trustworthy. That she would keep it from Gage, which was a tough one to ask. If I didn’t think she was, I’d grab them without her knowing who they were for.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m actually in need of some flowers. Thought you might be able to help me.” Shrugging as I gestured to the shop, we both laughed.
“Maybe,” she said. She walked around to the various refrigerators and pulled a few stems from inside.
“Any idea what you, or she, wants or likes?” As she asked, she was placing a variety of flowers on the large wooden table in the center of the room.
“Is it anyone I know, maybe I could help in that department.”
I continued to peer inside the clear doors of the cases, trying to ignore her questions.
When I went up to my office earlier today, I sat around staring at the same computer screen, unable to work for hours.
I realized I had a decision to make. My two choices were to walk away from Maryellen and let her live her life, or fight for what we both knew could be amazing.
I chose to fight.
So here I was.
Turning toward Harper, I saw her waiting for my response.
“Well…um…” I stumbled over my words.
“Wow, whoever it is has you speechless. In love, are you? Chase Parker, who’s the lucky girl?”
My hands went into the pockets of my suit pants to avoid pulling at my hair. I wanted to scream Maryellen’s name from my lips.
“You’re going to keep it a secret, that’s OK. We can still come up with something amazing, even if you’re not quite sure what she likes.”
Harper flitted around the room, moving here and there like a hummingbird at its feeder.
I couldn’t keep up with what she was doing.
Her feet moved as fast as her hands, as flower after flower landed on the table.
It was only then I realized every stem, every bloom, was white.
I recognized some of them: roses, lilies, peonies.
There were others I’d never seen before.
But together with the greenery she was mixing in… it was perfect.
It was Maryellen.
It was as if she knew.
“Harper,” I said as she wrapped the bouquet in brown paper. “How do you do this? It’s gorgeous, and perfect. It’s like you knew.”
I stood next to her as she tied a wide, white silk ribbon around the bundle. Her eyes skirted mine at my words.
“I’m a girl, Chase, I know what we like.”
She fiddled with the bow but didn’t hand over the bouquet. Instead, she studied me.
“Would you like them delivered?” she asked with a smirk on her face.
My face fell at her question.
“You’re not as discreet about your feelings as you think you are,” she said.
Shit.
“Does Gage know?”
She shook her head. “He hasn’t said anything. I think he’s too busy with his own girlfriend to worry about your love life.” She laughed out loud.
I laughed as well because I was in on a little bit of their life. She had no idea we were most likely going to be family before long.
She turned and looked me square in the face.
“Listen, Maryellen is a special person to me, Chase. Did you know that she’s responsible for me and Gage being together?”
That both surprised me and didn’t. I continued to listen.
“She played matchmaker with us, so I don’t have a problem returning the favor. But listen here, you better not break her heart. I mean it, she’s too special.”
I agreed with her. I didn’t want to break her heart, but it was as if Harper knew my MO. I never stuck around long with anyone. She saw me with other women, she knew.
But Maryellen was different.
I was ready for the change. The initial urge earlier was to scroll through my phone, find someone to hook up with this weekend. Someone to help me forget.
But it didn’t feel right anymore.
It was only her now.
“I know she’s worth it,” I told her. “I just don’t know if she wants me as much as I want her.”
She handed me a small card and a pen.
“Well then, choose your words wisely,” she said, and started walking toward the back room. “They’ll be delivered to her home by the end of the day.”
I stared at the small rectangular card in front of me.
Harper was right. My words on this card were going to be important.
Yet my mind was blank.