Chapter 9 Maryellen
Maryellen
Idon’t have a ton of fond memories from my childhood.
But one nice thing my mom did once in a while was to bring home fresh flowers.
She worked at a small grocery store in town.
Every week, they got a shipment of fresh flowers delivered.
Her boss would sell her the week-old flowers at a deep discount just to get them off the shelf.
Personally, I thought he should have given them to her, but whatever.
When she brought home the flowers, you would have thought she had won the lottery. They were on display front and center. We didn’t have a real vase, so we used an old jar.
“Maryellen, did you see the flowers I got us today? Aren’t they just beautiful?”
Some of the prettier ones I remember were the white and pink roses. Once she brought home a big bunch of sunflowers.
It did make the house feel happier. While they were alive.
One of the first things I did when I got this apartment was get myself a vase. I also brought flowers home on occasion. I still liked the way they made me feel.
Today I had some delivered.
The flowers looked so pretty in the vase on my coffee table. The bouquet was the fullest I’d ever seen. There had to be over twenty stems plus all the plush greenery mixed in. And every flower was white. It was exquisite. Classy while being pretty.
What I aimed for myself.
I hadn’t opened the card yet. There were two options at this point. I had given Garrett my address earlier so he’d know where to pick me up on Friday. The other option…
I slid my nail under the flap of the card, and it lifted easily. As I pulled it out, I realized there were two cards inside, with lots of writing on them. Some of the words were even crossed out.
Maryellen,
I know why you walked away. You’re protecting everything you worked for, and I never once thought that made you weak. If anything, it’s one of the reasons I fell for you. You’ve always chosen responsibility over ease, even when it cost you something. Especially when it cost you us.
But what we had wasn’t a mistake. It was real—real enough that it still follows me into every room you’re in, real enough that pretending it didn’t matter feels like lying to myself.
I don’t care about titles or office politics or what anyone thinks when they look at us together.
None of that scares me. The only thing that ever has is the idea of you believing I’m not worth the risk.
I won’t ask you to gamble your future on empty promises.
I’m asking you to trust that I see you—not as my brother’s assistant, not as someone I shouldn’t want, but as the woman who makes me want to be better than the life already laid out for me.
I’m not chasing something convenient. I’m choosing you.
If you’re afraid, let me be the steady one this time. Let me prove that loving me doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means having someone who will stand beside you, openly, unapologetically, and without regret.
I care what you think of me more than anyone else in this world. And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend as long as it takes showing you that choosing me isn’t the wrong decision—it’s the one I’ll never walk away from.
—Chase
Shit.
Like, holy fucking shit. His words tore my heart open. I was able to make out some of the words he crossed out, and Christ, even those hit me hard. Chase was sensitive, but I never expected him to be quite this sensitive. He laid out his heart completely.
Today should not have happened in the office. I was weak and let him think there was a chance with us again. This was my fault.
But there have been so many moments between us lately.
So many times that made me feel we were meant to be. It’s been hard to continue to walk away from him.
There could never be an us, no matter how much he wanted it.
Or me.
There was so much he didn’t know and never could. Him or Gage. It would destroy them, and me.
It had to be this way. As much as it hurt.
Reaching for my phone, I texted Evie.
Me: You home
It went unanswered for a minute, so I pulled up the menu for Chinese takeout. Then I heard the ding.
Evie: Yep, what’s up
Me: Want to do takeout, I need to talk
Evie: I’ll be right over
After unlocking my door, I began peeling off my work clothes as well. Nothing felt better than putting on sweatpants after a long day. Sweatpants, a long sleeve T-shirt, fluffy socks and slippers. My evening attire in the winter months.
“Mare?” Evie called out as she entered my apartment.
“Hi,” I said from the other side of my bed. She smiled from across the tiny space, and her eyes were immediately drawn to the huge bundle of flowers in front of my couch.
“Holy shit, where did you get those? And from who?” she asked as she walked closer to them.
“Aren’t they gorgeous?” I plopped on the couch and threw her my phone. “Here, add what you want to the order, I’m starving.”
As she did, I continued to stare at the fragrant stems that graced my table, overwhelming my small space. They would be a constant reminder of him for days.
Evie typed away on my phone, then tossed it to me. “You never answered my question, Mare,” she said, the air of expectancy in her voice.
All I did was stare as my eyes bored into hers and I tilted my chin.
“Hmm, so he’s playing hardball. Why now?” she asked. She joined me on the couch, each of us taking our respective ends.
That was when I turned away, refusing to maintain eye contact.
“Did you add your food?” I asked, knowing full well she did. I grabbed my phone and placed the order, thrilled when it said it would only take fifteen minutes. “Want something to drink?” I was already up and searching through my cabinet, getting some glasses and a bottle of wine from the bar.
“Wine again? This is one for the record books,” she said.
“Well, I still want to hear how things went with Declan,” I said. “Yeah, we have lots to talk about, so it’s another wine night.”
Evie took the glass from me as I repositioned myself across from her. We clinked glasses and after taking a long sip there was an extended silence.
“Well…” she said as she cradled her glass in both hands and smiled at me suggestively. She then gestured to the huge elephant in the room that would not be unseen. “Are they from who I think they are?”
I nodded.
“Although, at first I thought they might be from Garrett,” I said.
Her brows popped up, the question all over her face.
“You know we’ve been on two dates already, and we’re going out on Friday now, too. So I thought it could possibly be him, ya know? I gave him my address this morning since he’s picking me up for dinner, so it was kinda logical.”
She rubbed my foot, understanding how upset I was about my current situation.
“Oh, honey, it’s OK. Give him a chance tomorrow. If you’ve connected so far, there’s still hope he might be the one, the one to help you forget him.” She looked at the flowers again. “But those are gorgeous, he did a fantastic job.”
“Well, he had help. They’re from Fiona’s, so I’m pretty sure Harper had a hand in these.”
“She’s a master at what she does, that’s for sure. He did have to go to her and order them and have some say in what she created. Dontcha think? And why would he have sent you such a bounty today, Mare?” Evie’s inquisitive tone told me I was not getting away without telling her everything.
I threw my head back against the couch.
Thankfully, the door buzzed. I went to the intercom to let the delivery person upstairs.
“You’re lucky, but you’re telling me the juicy parts once we’re eating,” she yelled as I went to the door.
She had two bowls and chopsticks on the coffee table by the time I returned.
“Open that up, it smells freaking delicious,” she said as she reached over me to get the bags.
We filled our bowls full of saucy chicken and beef and broccoli over sticky white rice with some savory noodles on the side. Definitely not a meal for the waistline.
“Oh my God, this is amazing,” Evie said as she went back for another mouthful.
We sat in companionable silence as we enjoyed our meals. Eventually, the silence dragged on.
“So,” Evie said, “why today?”
I stuffed my mouth with noodles to avoid answering, but she waited patiently for me to chew and swallow. Once I did, there was no deflecting any longer.
“A few things have happened lately. There was a moment at the party last Thursday, and then something at the office today.”
I knew I was being vague. The invite to eat dinner with me was to tell her about today, but suddenly I didn’t want to spill the tea about what happened.
“So, these are apology flowers. What did the asshole do this time?” Evie asked.
I shot up straight at those words.
“No,” I said firmly. “It wasn’t like that.” My hands shook as I placed my bowl on the table next to the white blooms. “Nothing like that at all.” I could tell her about the note he wrote, which would explain so much, but I wanted to keep that to myself.
Her chopsticks stopped moving in her bowl as I chanced a look up at her. A small, knowing smile hit her lips.
“You know my stance on this one, Mare. I think you guys should be together. He’s fucking hot, though a bit immature.
Although from what you’ve told me, he treats you different than all the other girls in his past, so that says something.
But he needs to be faithful, of course. No more philandering.
And then there’s the money. That doesn’t hurt. ”
She went back to eating, but I’d lost my appetite thinking about what could have been between us. Chase and I were good when we were together for that short time. No one knew the real reason we couldn’t be together, not even Evie.
I had to keep it that way.
I picked up my bowl and headed toward my kitchen area when there was a knock at my door.
Evie and I stared at one another.
That didn’t really happen. You had to buzz people up in this building.
“Who is that?” she asked.
“I don’t know, maybe a neighbor?”