Chapter 28
Chase
Icouldn’t argue with her on that. He did save her life. But there was more to her story, and I would seem like an asshole for being the one to bring those parts up. How could I ask her about that?
Ever?
And there were still the issues of why she felt she couldn’t talk to me about this.
“Can I have that drink now?” I asked her.
She jumped up from her chair and hustled to the bar area. She held up a bottle of pinot. “I’ve only been drinking from this bottle of wine. I didn’t want to touch too much of their stuff.”
Following her, I opened some of the cabinets and found a twenty-year scotch. “It’s my brother’s place, he’ll be fine with it. Do you want a glass?”
She nodded and I poured us each a glass. The burn of the brown liquid on my throat helped alleviate the pain in my head.
I poured another one.
I was setting myself up for a long night. But it was going to be one, anyway. As I walked back to my chair, Maryellen watched me intently from her seat. Her eyes followed my every move as I handed her the glass.
“What are you thinking?” She spun her drink in her hands, making the ice clink against the edges.
“I don’t know, Mare. There’s a lot of things going through my head right now.”
She tore her gaze from mine. Then just as quickly looked back at me. She leveled me with an expression that could take me down.
“You’re thinking that the girl you’ve been with, the girl you’ve been fucking, used to be a prostitute.”
Jumping from my seat, I started toward her. She turned her face, almost cowering from me as I advanced in her direction. So, I stopped where I was, a few feet from her.
“Mare, that’s not fair, putting words like that in my mouth. You haven’t given me a chance to think, or digest any of this.” I ran my fingers through my hair and across my face, not knowing what else to do with my hands. “And you were not a fucking prostitute.”
She still wouldn’t look at me. I wasn’t sure how to proceed.
How to make this move forward so it wouldn’t blow up in our faces.
“Have you eaten?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Not since this morning.”
Getting out of here might help.
“C’mon, get your coat. Let’s go grab a burger. I saw a bar open down the road when I drove in.”
The mood in the room already seemed lighter as we headed to the door. We were doing something familiar, it felt normal.
The bar was more crowded than I thought it would be for the middle of winter. The locals were loud and rowdy as they watched a variety of games being broadcast on multiple screens along the walls. It was a warm, welcoming environment as we were brought to a booth toward the back.
“Can I get you anything from the bar?” A waitress appeared next to our booth and tossed two menus onto our table. That welcoming environment hadn’t transferred to her. She seemed ready to go home.
“I’ll have a bottle of Miller Lite please. What about you, Mare?”
“I’ll have the same.”
The server simply walked away.
“Looks like someone else is having a rough day, too,” I said.
Maryellen chuckled. Then she fumbled with the rolled-up napkin, the knife and fork falling to her feet as she pulled them out.
“Damn,” she mumbled as she reached to the ground.
I reached across the table and touched her fingers, encouraging her to look at me.
“Just leave them, I’ll have her bring you a new set.”
She agreed reluctantly. Her eyes bounced around the room, unable to focus on anything.
She was a mess, and I couldn’t blame her.
Watching her, my heart ached as I started to grasp what she’d been dealing with all this time.
She’d spent the past twelve years working hard to shield a secret that just came crashing down around her.
The waitress returned with our drinks, no happier than when she was first with us. I worked hard to make her crack a smile as she took our order, but it didn’t happen with Barb.
Once she left, Maryellen went back to being quiet, and I second-guessed the idea of bringing her out in public. She was uncomfortable and stressed. For someone who dealt with panic attacks, this was not a good combination.
Was small talk a good option for her? Or was letting her remain quiet with her thoughts better?
I decided on distraction.
“Their beach house is something else, isn’t it?” I asked.
Maryellen’s face warmed at the mention of Gage and Harper’s house. During my drive, I was distracted thinking of Mare, my father, and what the whole story could be. But there was no way to be completely immune to the beauty of the house I walked up to.
“Yeah, it really is,” she said as her face lit up. “I came down here a few times before the holidays to help with getting the house ready for their engagement weekend. Your brother hired a designer who I met with, and they did a fantastic job. It’s such a cute town, too.”
She continued talking about being at the house before, and some of the things she did while here. As I listened to her and watched the woman I knew sitting across from me, with her sparkling blue eyes and white-blonde hair, it hit me.
She was still my Mare.
Nothing I knew about her changed simply because of something she’d done in the past. She did what she had to do to survive, which was something I knew little about.
In fact, I was damn proud of her and how she got through life on her own and became the successful woman she was. Not many could achieve what she had.
Her past made her who she was today.
And I loved who she was today.
Holy fuck.
I loved her.
But this was neither the right time nor place for that.
She had stopped her story about the town and the house and returned to simply staring at the television.
“Hey,” I said to get her attention.
She glanced at me, her eyes sullen and turned down. Then they drifted away, unable to maintain contact. Her reprieve from her sadness was brief as she became laser focused on a soccer game, which I knew she didn’t follow.
“Mare.” I took her hands in mine. “Look at me, please.”
She did.
“None of this matters,” I said firmly.
She scoffed and tossed her head to the side, her hair covering her cheek. She couldn’t even look at me when she spoke. “What are you talking about, Chase? Of course, this matters.”
She tried to pull her hands from mine, but I wouldn’t let her. Instead, I pulled her closer to me over the wooden table.
“No, it doesn’t. Because if I don’t care about any of it, why should you?”
Her teary eyes darted between me, the table, and back to me.
“Listen, we all have a past, babe, and mine is probably worse than yours.” She was able to work up a small smile. I threaded my fingers through hers, our hands united. “And when you’re ready to tell me more of yours, you will.”
“Chase.”
My heart raced at the hope I heard in her voice.
“I…I’m so sorry there is this dark cloud over us, to the start of us.” She finally found the courage to look at me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to tell you. I hate that you learned about this from your father.”
I smiled at her. “Well, as far as my father is concerned, don’t worry about him. There was this look in his eye, even when telling me your story, that made me think he was quite happy with us being together.”
Her eyes widened and her hand went over her mouth.
“Are you serious?” she asked.
“I am. He saw something in you. He invested in you. Why wouldn’t he be happy for his son to end up with you?”
We were interrupted by Barb who put our plates of burgers and fries on the table in front of us.
“Thanks, Barb,” I said.
“Sure, hon. Can I get you two anything else?” she asked.
We looked at each other and shrugged.
“I think we’re good, Barb, thanks,” I said.
She nodded and walked away.
“Hey,” I whispered conspiratorially as I leaned over the table toward Maryellen. “I got a hon out of her, I think I broke through her tough exterior.”
Maryellen laughed, literally laughed out loud. She grabbed a fry and started eating. But as she did, I saw the shield go back up. The protective wall she was used to having in order to live her life.
Her own tough exterior.
I needed to help break through that now, too.
We stayed at the bar for one more beer and then decided to head out.
Her mood had lifted enough that we were able to talk about things that didn’t matter to pass the time.
Once we were back at the house, we walked around to the backyard and noticed a gas firepit.
Neither of us could find where to turn it on.
It was too cold and windy, so we found ourselves back inside.
“I guess I should let Tommy know I don’t need him to bring me back to the city,” she said. “He’s been down here waiting for me to call him.”
Another sign that made me feel good about our future. She obviously planned on returning north with me.
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” I said. “I’ll light the fire.”
I took off my suit jacket, tired of having it on for the past twenty-four hours. Pulling the shirt from my waistband felt amazing as I flipped off my loafers and undid my belt. The wood was still smoldering from earlier, so restarting the fire wasn’t too difficult.
She joined me on the couch, and we sat quietly, staring at the bouncing flames.
Other than a small lamp by the entrance, they were the only source of light in the house.
She curled her legs under her and pulled a blanket to her chin to ward off the chill from outside.
It created a serene atmosphere as we both got comfortable after an emotionally exhausting day.
For the first time today, our silence didn’t tighten my chest.
As I sat against the other end of the couch, watching her, I knew what I had to do.
“Mare,” I said.
She turned to look at me. The glow of the fire bounced off the side of her face as she did. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light. And I knew this moment would forever be ingrained in my mind.
“I love you.”
The muscles in her shoulders relaxed, her face softened. Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side.
And she smiled.
“I know it might seem sudden, but it really isn’t if you think about it. We’ve been fighting this for a long time. I need you to know it’s how I feel, especially now, after…”
She launched herself from her corner into my arms and onto my lap. Her arms went around my neck as our mouths collided. The kiss was fierce and urgent and…perfect.
Then she stopped, pulled away, and held my face in her hands. Our noses almost touched as our eyes adjusted to the closeness.
“I love you, too.”