Chapter 17
Seventeen
Gunnar
He shouldn't have left her behind, but he couldn’t have brought her.
Gunnar knew damn well that Rose wasn't likely to ever leave Trollveggen again.
And that was fine. He almost preferred her to stay here.
At least he knew where she was and that she was safe.
Anywhere outside of this mountain had already proven far too dangerous for her to be.
He couldn't trust her around other humans.
But leaving without her? It made a pit in his stomach open up, and he didn't enjoy that feeling. She was... well, he felt a connection to her. Just like his king had said.
Perhaps that connection skewed a little unhealthy. He paused for a moment on his journey, looking back at the main tree where the castle was tucked into its trunk. The violet leaves that decorated the branches were larger than him, but way up here, it made the tree almost look small.
There, hidden among the roots, he knew she was safe. He could feel a knot in his chest release at the knowledge, certain for once that she was all right. She was going to be okay even while he was gone.
He didn't trust Torbin as much as he might have trusted his brother, but he was almost as good. Gunnar could focus on this job without worrying that Rose was going to walk off a cliff.
And if he had brought her, that was exactly what he would have been afraid of her doing.
She was always on cliff edges, that woman.
Or worse, he'd find her standing in front of a venomous snake, unaware that it was right in front of her.
Or a wolf pack tracking her because she'd gotten up in the middle of the night to wander, and he wouldn't be able to find her in time.
Even thinking about the possibilities made his heart race. There were just too many opportunities for a woman like her to get harmed while traveling. He had to focus on getting the prince and keeping him safe.
That was the only thing that mattered here.
So he turned away from the sight of his home with all the colorful leaves and bright rivers that traveled through it, and instead focused on the path that led toward the stone wall of the mountain.
He was lost in his thoughts for most of the walk.
Preparing to meet a prince was something he had never anticipated having to do.
King Egil hadn't told him much about what the prince was like, but he knew without a doubt that he wouldn't be easy to travel with.
King Egil was the worst while traveling. All royals likely were.
Halfway through these thoughts, the hairs on the back of Gunnar's neck stood up. They always did that when he was being watched, and he assumed another troll was heading out on patrol. But no one passed by him. No one called out and hailed a recognizable figure like Gunnar.
Whoever it was, they were just watching. No, they were trailing him. Hunting him. Following along in each of his footsteps.
They were very quiet, he'd give them that. He barely even heard them walking, but he knew without a doubt they were there. He could feel their eyes, sense the heaviness of their breath that they were trying to hide. This was someone very ill prepared to attack a man like him.
What if this was a human? They'd brought a lot of new people into this kingdom and if it was a human tracking him...
Gunnar veered to the left, the path growing tighter as he chose a much narrower exit.
It would give him the chance to see if the person following him really was a troll.
If they were, they would know better than to take this path.
It didn't lead anywhere. A cave-in had closed the passage years ago, and they hadn't seen any reason to open it back up.
Ducking into the shadows and pressing his back against the wall, he waited still and silent as the stone surrounding him.
Whoever it was followed him into the passage. Their footsteps were still so light, so precise, and anger burned in his chest. How dare they?
The trolls had opened up Trollveggen and someone had slipped in and thought it was acceptable to follow a troll, nay, not even follow. They were here for nefarious reasons and didn't want anyone to know that they were coming after him.
He lunged the moment they stepped past him, grabbing the human by the back of the throat.
His hand closed around the thick padding of a cloak over their head, obviously trying to conceal their identity.
This only underlined the fact that they were hunting him, and that they had to be treated as all humans should be.
A hard lesson was the only thing that could get through their thick skulls.
"I am not a troll to hunt," he snarled, his voice deep and low as he heaved the human out of the cave.
It took so little effort to throw them. Gunnar tossed the human out of the opening of the passage, and they landed hard in the dirt.
Bright blue leaves cushioned their fall, and the moss around them glowed with the impact.
The light illuminated the cloak that completely covered their body, just enough for Gunnar to leap forward and straddle their waist.
He used all of his weight, bearing down upon them, forcing them to remain in the dirt as his clawed hand closed around their throat. Most of his grip was still fabric, but he could feel the tips of his claws digging into their skin as he forced their head to face the light.
And all he saw was porcelain. Pale skin, white hair, almost as though he had a ghost in his grip. Surely not a person who was alive.
Her features were so pale that even her lips had no color. White as the first snow that likely had already blanketed the world on the outside of this mountain.
"Rose?" he said.
And then the situation came into startling clarity.
He had attacked a woman who had spent her entire life being treated like this. For so long he had been reassuring, keeping her safe, making certain that she did not see him as one of those monsters who had hurt her.
Her eyes were so wide. That pale gaze staring up at him in shock and betrayal. He was certain that in an instant he would lose her. She would disappear, her soul fleeing from him as it had so many times before, but as he watched, she stayed right where she was.
His jaw nearly fell open. "You're still here."
She lifted a slow, shaking hand and pressed her palm against the back of his fist that was still wrapped around her throat. "I can't leave anymore."
With a heavy curse that echoed in the passage behind him, Gunnar threw himself off her.
He was forceful in his movement that his back hit the stone wall behind them, nearly knocking the breath out of himself.
His hair fell out of the loose knot he'd tied it in, dark locks falling in front of his features as he tried frantically to think of something, anything, he could do to fix this.
He had to fix it.
He had broken something so precious and fragile.
"I'm sorry," he tried. "I didn't know it was you."
"I know you didn't."
"Rose, I would never—”
"I know." She sat up slowly, and that was when he realized she was clutching a knife in her right hand. It was a kitchen knife, likely stolen before she had followed him, and there was a dark gleam of blood on it.
He glanced down to see the shallowest cut he'd ever had in his life, slicing across his ribs. Probably because she lacked conviction, and also because kitchen knives weren't made to pierce troll hide. But she'd stabbed him.
Her hands were still shaking as she laid the knife on her leg. In fact, her whole body was trembling. Shaking like a leaf in the wind because of what he had done.
Damn it, he was the worst person in the world. She'd been so good lately. He'd even seen that she had been staying in her body by choice, for longer and longer moments. Almost as though she was interested in this life.
"Rose," he whispered, keeping his distance because he doubted she would want him to touch her. "I am so sorry."
"I am not so broken that I cannot realize you did not intend to attack me." Even her voice shook. "I am capable of handling this."
Almost as though she was telling herself and not him.
Gunnar shifted, crouching on the ground to keep himself small. "What can I do? How can I help you?"
She finally looked at him, and those haunted eyes shattered his heart. "I don't really know. Usually I would leave."
"Why haven't you?"
"I have been blocked from that place. Apparently, I need to learn how to live before I can return." Her hand tightened around the knife. "But living is not very easy."
He couldn't imagine it would be for someone like her. She deserved a seer to wipe her memories away so that she could move forward. But he couldn’t give that to her, and right now, he didn't have the time to heal her.
And it made every part of him scream. His soul raged inside him, a whirlwind of fury threatening to tear him apart from the inside out. But he had to do the right thing.
"I'll bring you back," he said slowly. Carefully. Quietly. "You'll be safe in the barracks. Were you wandering when you came here?"
She looked at him like he were an idiot. "I just told you I cannot go to that place anymore."
"Then why are you here, Rose?"
"Because I was following you!" She pointed at him with the knife, and her voice was raised just slightly, almost as though she was angry. "You were leaving. Without me."
"It's not safe for me to bring you where I’m going. Of course I wasn't going to bring you. You are safe here." He stood, trying to keep his movements slow and controlled when he was growing angry at her. "I will bring you back."
"I'm not going back."
"You are going back," he argued. "You will be watched by Torbin. He's a good man. You can trust him as much as you trust me."
"I'm going with you. Wherever you are going, I can go too." She stood as well, and even though she was still shaking, he could see that she had no intention of changing her mind.
Gunnar was stumped. The whirlwind inside him calmed at the thought of her coming.
He'd know she was safe, and he would keep her with him, which felt, for some reason, better.
But this was a woman who had only a few days ago relied on leaving her body behind when she got frightened. What would she do in the world beyond?
"Rose, you are not ready for this," he reasoned.
His words exploded in his face.
"How dare you?" she hissed, stalking toward him with that little knife raised as though it were a threat. "I get to decide when and what I am ready for. You don't get to speak for me. No one gets to speak for me anymore!"
Her words echoed around them, repeating until he swore he could hear it in different voices. Countless of them. Men and women who wanted him to remember the last sentence she had said.
He lifted his hands, a small smile crossing his face. "You are the one with the knife. I suppose you can do whatever you want."
"I'm going with you," Rose repeated. "I have no interest in being parted. I lost one of my safe places already. I will not lose the other."
Fractures burst in his chest. He was her safe place?
He hadn't known that. Gunnar knew that she liked being around him, but he was the only troll who had made an unbreakable vow to keep her safe.
Of course she felt as though she could trust him.
He hadn't realized her loyalty to him, her comfort, went this deep.
Dropping his hands, he took a deep breath and made his decision. "Fine. You can come with me. But it's not going to be easy."
"I know." She slowly let the knife drop. "I didn't think it would be easy."
Gunnar wanted to laugh. Joy was hard to hide because he realized something very important as he started up the correct path toward the passage that led out of the mountain.
It only took a few moments for her to read him like a book. "What are you snickering about?"
"This is the longest conversation we've ever had. And it started with you stabbing me."
When she didn't immediately reply, he looked back to see that she was troubled by that. Her cheeks had a little color, not much, but a bit. And she was staring at his side where the knife had cut through his shirt.
Without thinking, he lifted his shirt for her to see the small red mark she'd left behind. "Troll hide is hard to break through. You held that knife right and let my body do the rest of the work, I imagine."
She licked her lips. "I'm sorry for that. I didn't really want to hurt you, I just—”
"Don't apologize for keeping yourself safe. It's impressive, fair lady." He shot her a wink. "You can stab me any time you like."
Rose just stared at him. Any other woman might have rolled her eyes at his jest, but she seemed to take it to heart. "I will. If I need to."
She had teeth. Who'd have thought?
"Where has this woman been hiding?" he mused, gesturing for her to head into the darkness of the passage ahead of him.
"Not here," she muttered. She pulled her hood up over her head and ducked into the darkness. "I don't usually face the world often. I don't think I like it."
"I do." Gunnar didn't even have to tell her where to go. She seemed to know, walking around rocks as if she could see them. "Can you see in the dark?"
She didn't reply.
"Rose?" he asked, wanting to know how hard he could push this version of her.
"I can see the magic in the rocks," she said quietly. "It runs like veins through this mountain."
"Magic? There's no magic here."
And yet, he watched her skirt around a boulder, step over a firepit that was left in the worst place possible, and then turn right down a twisting corner. All without him telling her to do so.
"What else do I not know about you?" Gunnar sped up to go ahead of her, at least guiding them through the winding tunnels in the direction he wanted them to go.
"I don't like talking this much." Her voice was ghostly in the darkness. He watched her hand appear from underneath her cloak, a pale figure gently reaching out to touch a stone for a moment, almost rubbing it as though... he didn't know.
All he knew was that this Rose had changed very much. Or perhaps, this was the Rose she had been hiding from them all.