Chapter 35
Thirty-Five
Rose
Rose stood with the other potential brides, staring at all the men and women in front of them who were putting their own egos on the line.
This was the first time she'd seen the competitors so nervous.
They all looked at each other, glanced around, and tried their best not to let anyone think that they were uncomfortable with what might be coming next.
How could they not be?
Soon enough, they would all know how the object of their desires felt.
It wasn't actually choosing anything, but it was at the same time.
A game of passion. A test to see if they were physically compatible with each other, and if they weren't... well, then she supposed someone might choose another person.
But all the trolls and humans that were standing with her seemed excited. She doubted there was anything that could happen that would make them not choose the person they were going to leave here with tonight. Everyone had seemingly made up their minds.
There was a beauty to it. But the more she looked at how uncomfortable Gunnar was, the more she realized he wasn't nervous that she wouldn't choose him. He was just nervous.
Her sweet, kind man, who had explored more with her than she had ever dreamt, didn't want to do it this way. He kept glancing at her, making sure she was comfortable with the proceedings, as each person chose, one by one, who they were leaving with.
Groans of disappointment came every single time someone chose, and then the others ribbed the person who was chosen.
"Don't mess this up!"
"Make sure you remember where the clit is!"
Silly things that she knew were meant to lighten the mood and to tell the winner that no one was holding it against them.
This was, after all, supposed to be fun. They were supposed to know that at the end of the day, this wasn't going to ruin relationships. It was about building them.
Rose was in the middle of the lineup this time. A few people waited while holding their breath as she made her choice. She knew there were a lot of troll women who were hoping that she wouldn't choose Magnus. Even though Rose had never truly been a threat to the prince's heart.
"Gunnar," she called out, her voice stronger than ever.
She wanted him to be as excited as all the other men had been, but apparently that only made him even more nervous. She'd never seen him blanch that much, and he shifted back and forth on his feet, staring at her with wide eyes.
Was he going to pass out? He couldn't do that.
She was about to run across the clearing to hold him up, but Magnus beat her to it.
The prince threw an arm around his shoulders, looking like he was just joking around but holding Gunnar up all the same.
Murmured words, and then Gunnar was coming toward her.
He still looked like he might throw up, but he reached for her instead.
She tucked herself underneath his arm, and then led him away from the clearing.
Rose knew exactly where she wanted to go.
It was a hidden place in this mountain, and had been shown to her by the glowing lights of magic inside of Trollveggen.
As they headed that direction, perhaps moving a little too fast for decorum's sake, she let out a little laugh.
The sound was still rusty, but it was obviously a laugh.
He glanced down at her. "Are you losing your head again at the thought of this?"
"No, I'm just thinking that all the magic I thought I was seeing in Trollveggen was likely just spirits underground.
I think I see pools of magic where people have died, or where they are buried.
" She mulled it over a little as they picked their way through the trees.
"It makes sense that I've just been staring at graves this whole time, thinking that they were pools of power that were deep in the very bedrock of this place. I guess they sort of are."
Gunnar kept looking at her for a little while longer before shaking his head. "That's what you're thinking about right now. Of course it is."
Finally they reached the place where she had wanted to go.
Here, the river filtered into a series of massive pools.
Each one was about ten breaststrokes long, if she was swimming in it.
So not very big, but enough to slow the water down so bright green algae glowed within.
The water went from purple to emerald, meandering past pretty alcoves in the roots of the trees that surrounded it.
She'd fallen in love with this place the first time she found it.
Apparently, so did he. Gunnar let out a little grunt of surprise, meandering through the space himself.
Or maybe he was giving her space. That seemed more likely.
The farther away from her he got, the stiffer he became. She watched his shoulders bunching up, and his entire body growing more and more tense with every passing minute. Until he blew out a very long breath and turned to look at her.
"We don't have to do this," he said. "It's rushing things.
I know you might not be ready for this moment, and in truth, I don't want this to be a situation we’re forced into because other people told us to do so.
It's not fair to both of us. So if you want to put it aside, I am more than willing to do so. We'll lie."
"I don't want to lie."
"I know you don't like telling untruths, Rose, but this is a very good reason to do so."
She smiled at him and shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I think this is a very good idea for the two of us to do. I like you, Gunnar. More than that, honestly. I think there aren't really words for how tied I am to you."
He released a long sigh. "Because of how we met."
"Because you saved me. You saw through all the terror and the heartbreak and my feeling that the world had ended.
You showed me that I had the time to put together all those shattered pieces and that you weren't going to judge me for how long it took to find them again.
You made me feel like a woman for the first time in ages.
" She stepped closer to him, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her dress.
"And because I think I would like to know more about these soft touches that I see everyone else giving each other. "
"I don't want you to fear me, Rose," he said quietly. "And I don't know how to help you not do that. You've been through so much."
"I have." She took a deep breath and steadied herself. "But this is a choice I get to make for myself this time."
She nudged the fabric off her shoulders. All the silk fell down her arms, caught at her breasts, once again at her hips, and then pooled at her feet in a puddle. She stood there before him, entirely bare, and for the first time she had the fear that he might not want her.
At least until she heard the gusty bellow of air that he released while staring at her with wide eyes. As though she had suddenly become a goddess who had stepped out of the sky for him to see.
"Rose," he breathed.
And then they stood there. Staring at each other for a little while.
She wasn't sure who moved first. She thought it might have been him. Suddenly he was standing right in front of her, his fingers trailing over her collarbone and then down her sternum between her breasts.
"The first time I saw you, I could see your bones here," he murmured. "I remembered fearing that if I touched you, you would shatter apart with a single brush of my fingers."
"And now?" she breathed.
"Now all I see is how beautiful you are," he whispered. "Now I see how strong you are, and how capable you have become. I see a woman who has accepted my world and my culture with ease, and one who has never looked down on me for being different. I am constantly in awe of you, Rose."
She took a deep breath. Because maybe he was right. Maybe she was more than she had been when he’d first found her.
"Gunnar." The word was filled with everything she wanted to say.
He had to know it, but she wanted to actually say it.
"I didn't think I was capable of being a normal person until, well, until you gave me the space to realize that I could be.
That no matter how hard my life was, I wasn't broken because of it. "
"Of course you aren't."
She took his hand in hers, staring down at the massive black claws that had once terrified her.
But now they grounded her. They proved to her that he was exactly who she thought he was, even when she closed her eyes.
He could chase away all those thoughts because he didn't feel like any of those men.
Opening her eyes, she pressed his palm to her breast, feeling the heat of him, the power, the sensation of his claws against her skin.
And she wasn't afraid. She didn't even feel a hint of fear, even when his fingers flexed against her skin and he swallowed so hard she could see his throat move with the force of it.
"I love you," she said, her voice ringing clear and true.
"I think I've loved you for a very long time.
And it's strange to even consider, because I didn't believe I could love anyone again.
You are as steady and as enduring to me as a stone in the middle of a raging sea.
A shield between me and the world, and I.
.. I should have known how much I loved you a long time ago.
I'm sorry it took me so long to come to terms with it. "
He surged forward, and their lips met. A pressing, nearly violent need that bloomed between the two of them as he devoured her lips. She pressed herself to his chest, and there was no fear, no ache in her chest because she was so certain that he wasn’t going to hurt her. It wasn’t even a question.