Chapter 17
Seventeen
Friends. He couldn’t make it any clearer what their relationship was.
Yet the moment he’d stepped into the room, she’d melted. Her muscles softened, the tension in her stomach released, and she turned into some form of putty.
Annie hadn’t stopped thinking about him since they had parted ways on Thanksgiving night. She could still feel his arms around her, still see his face only inches from hers.
He was gorgeous, and kind, and thoughtful. It wasn’t her fault she’d turned into a human puddle. That’s all she was – human. Who was she to resist the famous island firefighter?
For him to show up at her house like this, defending and encouraging her – it only added to her confusion.
Maybe that alone was reason to leave the island: to escape her very first crush.
“I don’t know if Bella told you, but we got a threat at the fire station,” he said.
There was a smile on his face, but Annie didn’t find it funny at all. A pit formed in her stomach. “What kind of threat?”
Miles rolled his eyes. “Something about if we keep pushing, there will be more fires we can’t put out.”
A frown pulled at her mouth. Before, she would’ve been hard-pressed to name anyone who didn’t consider firemen allies, if not outright heroes.
Now, the image of Lauren laughing in her new Porsche drifted into her mind. How had she been so cavalier about the firefighters not having working fire engines? Why had she been on the side of the private equity company?
It was so bizarre, and Annie hadn’t had time to properly think about it, but now…she had a nagging feeling it could be connected.
“Do you think it’s related to the monopoly case?” Annie asked.
He paused, lines creasing his handsome face.
Annie stared at him, helpless to look away, wishing she could reach out and touch him...
“I hadn’t thought about that, actually,” he said. “The case was thrown out at the state level, but they’re going after them in a different way. The announcement went out last week that it’s going to be taken up by the federal courts.”
“That seems...significant,” Annie said.
She was already running a text through her head that she wanted to send to Lauren. Maybe she could get her to talk about it. She said she’d worked for the judge; maybe she knew what was going on?
Or worse. Maybe she was somehow involved.
The pit in her stomach grew deeper. Would Lauren really sink as low as to leave a threat?
The idea was dizzying.
He grunted, his eyes focusing back on her. “That’s a good angle. I kind of brushed it off, but I’ll bring that up to everyone. Not that there’s anything we can do.”
Unless there was something he could do. Maybe he knew something about Lauren? Maybe, if she told him what she knew, they could piece together the truth.
Yet it was nothing more than gossip. It might be a betrayal of her friend for nothing.
Well, not for nothing. Was Annie letting herself be jealous of Lauren again? Or was it something worse – being so desperate for Miles’ attention that she’d throw her own friend under the bus?
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he said softly. “I thought you’d find it funny. I didn’t want to worry you.”
Annie thought she’d kept her struggle internal. Apparently not. He’d noticed.
She forced a more jovial expression on her face. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”
“I’m sure that, after the fundraiser, we’ll have more money than we know what to do with,” he said, his mouth tilting into a smile.
The melt started again, her insides turning to goo. Why did he smile at her like that? Didn’t he know the effect he had on women?
Of course he knew. Bella kept showing up with evidence of women throwing themselves at him. And he just laughed, rolling his eyes. He had no time for it.
Annie didn’t need to throw herself at him. She could maintain some of her dignity.
Maybe a little of it, at least.
“I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you,” she said.
His smile faded, his eyes searching hers for a thoughtful beat. “Don’t worry. All hope isn’t lost. I’m not easily flammable.”
Annie laughed. “I’m glad to hear that.”
That evening, after her guests had left and the kids were sound asleep, Annie had some time to herself. The kitchen was clean, and while she folded laundry, she reasoned she could tick through some things on her to do list.
Except the only thing she could think about was Miles. His smile, his laugh. His hand on hers.
She hadn’t imagined it, had she?
It didn’t matter. In the end, she was no different than the desperate women sending headshots. She happened to live closer to him than they did.
Well. Maybe she was slightly different. Those women didn’t know Miles.
They didn’t know what an extraordinary father he was.
They didn’t know how he loved to cook, and they didn’t get to see in real time how he was a brave, level-headed firefighter, able to face any task.
They didn’t know how handy he was or how good he looked with a tool belt hanging off his hips.
They didn’t know how kind he was, either. In Annie’s experience, good-looking men were the worst sort. They knew they were handsome, they knew things were easy for them, and instead of taking it with a grain of humility, they took it as evidence of their own superiority.
Not Miles. His kindness was real. It ran to his bones. He probably thought Annie was a loser, trying to move closer to her ex-husband, but he didn’t say that. He encouraged her. Told her he supported her. Told her they were friends.
If she weren’t so starved for his attention, she’d never let him hear about her dealings with Roy.
It wasn’t like she thought Roy was an exemplary father.
She knew he was lazy. She knew he showed only occasional interest in Leon and Noel.
It was just that she wanted to find some way, any way, to fix that.
Annie’s heart ached for her babies. They deserved better. They deserved a father who wanted to see them, who made the effort to take the ferry or the seaplane – whatever it took. They deserved a father who wanted to play with them and thought their babbling was as adorable as Annie did.
Yes, it was chaos and it was hard, but how could Roy miss all of it?
Her head was spinning again. Did she really believe Roy would be different if they lived closer to him? Or would their children always be a second thought? Would they grow up in that shadow, believing they didn’t deserve more?
A sharp pain flashed in her chest. It felt like there was no solution.
Obviously, if she’d married someone like Miles, this never would’ve been an issue, but it was too late for that.
She thought she’d known Roy. They were high school sweethearts, for goodness sake, and he’d still turned out to be someone she didn’t recognize.
She’d never understand it, but this was reality.
Was there any chance she could find someone like Miles, someone who would love them, really love them, as his own?
She’d heard stories. Stories of adoptions, or uncles raising their siblings’ kids after tragedies, even dedicated stepfathers.
But it seemed impossible. She might as well wish for a magic genie to appear.
Even moving to Seattle seemed impossible. Every rental she’d found would take up most of her monthly salary. She was on a waitlist for eleven daycares, and most of them had told her it was hopeless unless she’d gotten on the list when she was first pregnant.
Still, that weekend, Margie and Sheila decided they were taking Annie dress shopping on the mainland, and she was going to tour the one daycare that said they might have space for them in two months.
Maybe she could find a higher paying job, she could move to Seattle, she could make it work. The twins would see Roy more, they’d settle into a smooth routine.
Maybe not all hope was lost for her little family. Even if she had messed it up from the start.