Chapter 5
FIVE
Mattie
The knock at my door came as I wandered into the kitchen for a drink.
I’d been busy the last few days working on commissioned pieces, finalizing some pieces to hang around town, and chatting up some of the business owners regarding ways they could get involved in making Sugar Pine a top holiday destination in Evergreen County, the state, and beyond.
When I poured myself into my work, I lost hours at a time painting, editing photos, or framing pieces.
But I’d set a timer to remind myself to eat, drink, and take bathroom breaks.
Pulling open the door, I found Toby.
“Sam sent me over to make sure you weren’t dead,” the kid said. “He’s working on the website, but he told me to tell you about the stickers.”
I smiled and stepped back so he could enter. I didn’t know if it was because Toby reminded me of myself at that age, he resembled Sam in a way, or just because he was such a good kid, but I enjoyed the times he’d pop in to help or just to look at my work.
“I was just getting ready to stuff my face with cookies, you want some?”
He shrugged in the nonchalant way of teens, but I could almost see his mouth watering. “Sure.”
“Milk?”
“Yeah. Please,” he tacked on as if remembering Sam would have something to say about his lack of manners.
I poured two glasses of milk, giving him the larger one after seeing the way the kid could put away milk and cookies, and motioned toward the table.
Once he’d demolished two Oreos and several gulps of milk, I asked, “So, what’s this about stickers?”
Toby brightened. “My friend Jasper,” he started, and I didn’t miss the way his cheeks pinked a bit.
“Their dad has this printing business. Mostly sells stuff online, but he said he’d be glad to help out with stickers and stuff for Sugar Pine.
He just needs a logo or image or whatever, and the wording. ”
“That’s awesome,” I said, already thinking about the logo. “Your…” I paused and cocked my head. “Sorry, do you call Sam your dad? Your uncle?”
Toby shrugged. “Mostly just Sam, but uncle works. He and Mom always just said uncle or Sam or Uncle Sam, so Dad never really fit.”
“Makes sense,” I said. “Sam and I can work on the logo and some images for the stickers.”
Toby ate another cookie. “When I was younger,” he started, and I had to remind myself not to laugh at a fourteen-year-old referring to his younger days. “I used to want to call him Dad since my friends had dads.”
His words hit me right in the heart. “Damn, I get that. My dad traveled a lot for business and was almost never home.” I’d later figure out he was also having affairs all over the globe, but the kid didn’t need to hear that.
“All I ever wanted was to look out into the sea of parents and see my dad. But I think he made one baseball game. Never did come to any of my theater performances—don’t really think he tried too hard since he didn’t think theater was worthwhile. ”
“I get that,” Toby said, his eyes bright and earnest. “Sam is at every single thing I do, but it sucks to know Mom has to miss over half my life. And my real dad is probably out there somewhere playing catch with his other kids, watching their games, going to their open houses at school.”
Shit. The kid was killing me.
“I mean,” he went on, “I know Mom has a really important job, and she makes it up to me when she’s home. And Sam’s the best. Just sucks to think about my real dad out there with his real family.”
“Would you ever want to meet him?” I asked.
“Sometimes I think I would, but most of the time I’m just mad that he knew Mom was pregnant, and he just left her.
” He nibbled at a cookie. “There’s this kid in my homeroom—we’ve been in school together forever—and he’s adopted, but he knows his bio mom.
She got pregnant really young and gave him up for adoption.
But now she’s married and has other kids.
He mostly says it’s cool, but makes me wonder if he ever feels like me and hates the fact she’s got whole other family.
” After draining his milk, he shrugged. “But I know I’m lucky to have Sam and Mom. Just wish she was home more.”
“Once she’s back, she’ll be here for almost a year?”
He nodded. “Yeah, it’s nice when she’s home, just sucks when she’s gone. But I still get to talk to her.”
“What does Sam do when she’s home?”
Toby cocked his head. “Mostly the same stuff as now, but he kinda lets her take over. He goes places more, takes little trips if he has time.” He shot a glance my way. “Goes on dates.”
“Oh yeah?” I forced the grin. “I bet he’s got the ladies lined up waiting for your mom to get home.” The words were meant to be light, but they fell like a brick.
Toby smirked. “The only time any lady tried to date him got really awkward when he told her he was gay, and then she made it even worse when she pretended like she knew that and was just trying to set him up with her brother. At least, that’s the story my mom teases him about.”
My kitchen ran out of oxygen.
Sam was gay.
I mean, I’d gotten vibes back then.
Or maybe I should say I’d hoped against hope back then.
But there it was.
Spelled out plain and simple.
Toby bit his lip and pushed back from the table. “Well, I have homework. Gotta go. Don’t forget the stickers.”
The front door slammed shut.
Several minutes later, I blinked myself back to awareness.
Well, fuck.
I definitely wasn’t getting any more work done for the day.