Chapter Three
Thankfully, Phoenix had always been a morning person.
Otherwise, pastry-making would require a painfully early start.
Phoenix moved around the kitchen, working on autopilot.
The one thing he had always loved about cooking was the way his mind shut down.
He had already spent the entire night thinking about Shay’s confession.
Phoenix hated to admit his words made perfect sense.
He had known therapy wasn’t working for Shay.
It was no secret everyone in the school next door was a mess.
They were no exception. It also wasn’t uncommon for there to be issues with sex and various types of intimacy coming from where they had.
He wasn’t surprised the thought of being gay sickened Shay.
The mind rarely cared about reality, and everyone was equally trapped by whatever their brain told them.
With the truth exposed, Phoenix didn’t know how to feel now.
But he knew how to lose himself in cooking, and so that was what he did.
Phoenix dipped inside the pantry and filled a large plastic container with everything he needed to create a series of flavored breads. When Phoenix reemerged, he spotted a bouquet of yellow roses. He set his haul aside and checked out the card.
Phoenix, congratulations on your new job. As always, I’m proud as hell of you.
The card wasn’t signed. A missing signature didn’t mean anything to Phoenix.
He knew they were from Shay. Over the years, Shay had always bought Phoenix yellow roses.
Not only were the yellow ones Phoenix’s favorite, Shay could pass them off as friendship flowers.
Phoenix was gay, so flowers seemed an apt gift.
Yellow represented friendship, so no one would see the gift as romantic.
Phoenix shook his head. Some things never changed. He got back to work.
Five hours into his shift, Phoenix took a break and enjoyed a nice walk before returning for the afternoon snackers. The moment he stepped onto the third floor, he spotted a bouquet of red roses. Phoenix shook his head as he plucked the card from the flowers.
Phoenix, every single time I gave you yellow roses, these were the ones I really wanted to give you.
Phoenix bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling.
Shay was so hard to hate. He made his way back inside the pantry.
Maybe he would make donuts this afternoon.
Inside the storeroom, another note waited.
On top sat a worn-looking friendship bracelet.
Phoenix’s breath caught. He would recognize the braided threads anywhere.
They had worn matching ones throughout high school.
They had made them for each other during a class trip.
Phoenix had left his behind when he left.
He picked it up and rubbed the soft strings between his thumb and finger before turning his attention to the note.
Phoenix, you forgot something when you left. I thought you might want it back.
There was no holding back his smile now.
He shook his head and put the bracelet in his pocket.
When he stepped out of the pantry, he found Shay sitting at the island, bent over a notebook and writing.
He wore the matching bracelet. For a moment, Phoenix simply watched him.
While Shay had packed on some muscle, to Phoenix, he had always been perfect.
The way the muscles flexed in his forearms was mesmerizing.
Everything about him had always screamed capable protector.
A lot of things had changed in Phoenix's life.
As he stared at Shay, Phoenix realized one thing had not.
He still loved Shay with every fiber of his being.
“What are you working on?” Phoenix sat his container of donut ingredients on the island. While he waited for Shay to answer, he pulled the length of braided threads from his pocket and attempted to tie it around his wrist.
Shay stood and circled the island. He answered as he tied the bracelet for Phoenix. “I’m on break. Things get kind of boring around here. I’m guilty of doodling to pass the time.”
Fuck, he smelled good. He had been drawing, not writing. Shay was talented as hell. Phoenix had forgotten all about the way Shay would draw all over everything, including him. “Oooh, let me see.”
Shay beamed. He grabbed the sketchbook and handed it to Phoenix. “It’s nothing big. You know me. I’m just killing time.”
It was a sketch of Phoenix walking along the bluff.
Phoenix’s throat swelled. Shay had captured the sadness in Phoenix’s every line.
He felt again exactly as he had last night, just by looking at the drawing.
“You’ve always been amazing, but wow, Shay.
This is beautiful. All your practice shows. You’ve become a real artist.”
Shay’s face was red. He shrugged as Phoenix handed back the notebook. “Like I said, I’m just killing time. No one is stupid enough to attack this place.”
Phoenix couldn’t step back and put space between them. He had the strongest urge to hug Shay. “Do you like your job here?”
The smile was back. “I like the money. The job is easy… You’re here.” Shay moved away and gathered his colored pencils. “Anyhow, I need to get back to it. I just wanted to come by and say hi.”
“Hi.”
Shay chuckled.
Phoenix couldn’t take Shay's obvious discomfort. He looked exactly like a man running from a situation. Phoenix would know. That was his forte. “We should sit down and catch up.”
Shay paused. His gaze collided with Phoenix’s. He licked his lips as if nervous. “I don’t have anything going on tonight.”
Phoenix shrugged. “Me neither.”
Shay nodded, looking solemn. “I can swing by your room around six to meet up.”
Phoenix tried not to smile and show his happiness. No one had ever broken him the way Shay had. He hadn’t forgotten that. “Sounds great.”
Shay never as much as blinked. “I could take you to dinner.”
That did it. He couldn’t hold back his smile any longer.
“Okay.” Gah. Even he heard the happiness he showed in that single word.
Why was he like this when it came to Shay?
All Phoenix saw when he looked at Shay was the boy who had been at his side for as long as he could recall.
The other half of him. The longing that flooded him felt too familiar, making Phoenix realize he had never let go. Not even a little.
Shay walked backward for a moment, holding his gaze. “It’s a date, then.”
“It seems so.”
A bright smile exploded across Shay’s face.
“I’ll see you then.” He turned and walked away, giving Phoenix a tempting show of wide shoulders and sexy ass.
Life wasn’t fair in the least. Not once had he dreamed he would be in this position again.
Apparently, some dumbass fantasies never died. He was an idiot.
The day had been long as hell. Shay couldn’t recall the last time he wanted time to move its ass the way he had all day.
Phoenix had agreed to go to dinner with him.
Shay had been floored when Phoenix suggested they sit down and catch up.
He had lain awake all night plotting ways to let Phoenix know he had too many regrets to count.
The thing was, when Shay looked back on things, there was no way Phoenix hadn’t known Shay was all the way in love with him.
He had told himself no one would bat an eye over certain things he did with and for Phoenix because Phoenix was his best friend and openly gay.
Of course, Shay would treat him like the out and proud guy he was.
That meant yellow roses for special moments and friendship bracelets.
They had been glued at the hip since that shipping container.
As far as he knew, no one had side-eyed a single thing they did together.
Where there was one, there had been the other, and that was just how it was.
Shay wanted to remind Phoenix of those moments.
That was the only shot he had of gaining forgiveness.
Shay took his time showering and picking out his clothes.
He felt a little dumb about how nervous he was.
Shay had told himself he needed to look perfect and be flawless.
That was what Phoenix deserved. When the time came to make his way to Phoenix’s room, he gave himself a pep talk on the way out.
He could do this. Shay would do this right.
He had to. Shay opened the door. A Tupperware container sat right outside.
It had two cupcakes inside and a sticky note on top.
For later.
A smile exploded across Shay’s face. He eyed the cupcakes as he moved them to the sideboard next to the door.
They were cookies and cream. His favorite.
With new fire under his feet, Shay made his way to Phoenix’s room.
The door was slightly ajar. He knocked even as the motion pushed the door wider open.
At the sight of Phoenix and his room, Shay couldn’t stop smiling.
The entire floor was covered in discarded clothes.
“Well, you have arrived, I see.”
Phoenix looked up from where he worked to scoop outfits from the floor. He wore a bright smile. “Yeah, well. You know me. I’m not happy unless I’ve tried on a few dozen outfits.”
Shay’s face hurt from grinning so big. “You’ve always been a tornado.”
With a chuckle, Phoenix tossed the clothes onto the bed. “I’ll deal with this later.” He headed Shay’s way. “So, where are we going?”
His eyes didn’t want to budge from Phoenix. Everything about him was beautiful. His gray eyes mesmerized Shay. His full lips had always been a temptation so great that his insides ached. There was a smattering of freckles across his nose. Fuck, he was just flawless.
Phoenix's eyebrows rose, and Shay realized he hadn’t answered. He forced himself to focus on the moment. “I thought we’d hit that fifties-style diner you always liked—”
An alarm blared, cutting him off. His gaze snapped toward the mouth of the hallway. A stampede of bodies ran past.
“What’s going on?”
Shay practically bounced in place with a need to run. At Phoenix’s question, Shay focused on him with growing desperation.
Rodney, another guard, spotted them and yelled, “State police just arrived with a batch of kids they found in a moving van.”
Shay never looked away from Phoenix.
Phoenix’s expression turned hard. He gave Shay a sharp nod. “Let’s go.”
Shay grabbed his hand, and they sprinted after the rest of the group.
They never knew what the situation would be.
The police had an agreement with Zander.
Trafficked kids came to him, and no arrests were made.
Instead, those men were also brought to Zander.
No trafficking made the news, keeping local politicians looking as if they ran a clean town.
Zander did all the dirty work, and the problem disappeared.
Every unexpected arrival could be anything.
They skidded into the hospital wing and froze.
Men in white coats moved from child to child.
Guards blocked doors and gathered around the interrogation room.
Phoenix bumped shoulders with him and nodded toward a set of boys.
The bigger of the two kept his arm around the smaller one.
His face was set in a hard line while the smaller one cried.
They shared a look. That had been them. They had stood where these boys did in the exact position with Shay protecting Phoenix.
It was time for them to do what Pytor and Yaro had done for them.
They moved the pair’s way and went down on their knees.
Phoenix was the first to dive in. “What are your names?”
The bigger of the two held tighter to the smaller one. Neither of them spoke.
Shay tried next. “I’m Shay. This is Phoenix. We were here just like you two a long time ago.”
Phoenix nodded. “Shay has always been bigger than me. He’s always done his best to protect me.”
The protector’s gaze moved between them. He didn’t soften, but he did speak. “You’re still here together.”
Shay pasted on a bright smile. “Hell yeah. Best friends forever.” He held up his fist. It was the arm on which he wore his friendship bracelet.
Phoenix took the hint and did the same. They bumped wrists, and Phoenix took over.
“The people here are here to help. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. It didn’t feel like it to us either, but you’re with the good guys now. No one will hurt you here. I promise.”
The boy nodded. He wiped his nose on the dirty T-shirt he wore. “I’m Graham. This is Tobie.”
One of the volunteer doctors appeared. “Let’s get you guys checked out.”
Graham somehow tucked Tobie even tighter into his hold. “We go together.” His voice was hard.
Shay’s throat swelled. He remembered having the same conversations.
Shay still felt exactly as he had that day when he looked at the pair.
Protecting Phoenix had been the only thing holding him together.
While Phoenix might have felt safer with Shay, Phoenix was actually the one saving him.
Without that purpose, he wouldn’t have made it.
The doctor gave him a kind smile. “Of course.”
Graham’s gaze focused on Shay again. He looked scared for the first time. “Will you go with us?”
Phoenix and Shay stood.
Phoenix answered for them. “You got it. We won’t leave your side.”
Shay looked Phoenix’s way, and pride filled his chest. While he had done this before and understood the mental toll of reliving their journey, Phoenix hadn’t even hesitated to jump right in.
The boys walked ahead of them. Shay took Phoenix’s hand and squeezed.
He didn’t let go and Phoenix didn’t pull away.
They exchanged a look, and Shay broke. “I love you.”
A sweet smile touched Phoenix’s lips. “I love you too.”
Something inside Shay soothed that he hadn’t even realized had been in a knot since Phoenix left. It had been five long years since Phoenix had said those words to him. Shay would never let him take them back.