Chapter 29
‘I’ve been meaning to ask – what was all that about last weekend, when you invited Angel’s parents in for dinner?’
It was Saturday morning. Lorna didn’t know why Andrew was bringing last Sunday up now, almost a week later. ‘It was nice to meet them, and I just wanted a friendly chat.’
‘A friendly chat?’ Andrew raised his eyebrows. ‘Sounded more like a grilling to me.’
Lorna stood in their bedroom doorway, watching him pack. It brought to mind standing at her daughter’s bedroom door, just over two weeks earlier, watching her pack for her trip.
Apart from the fact that she still hadn’t heard from her daughter, Angel’s parents had been on her mind for another reason – the way the couple interacted, joked, chatted together. She saw the way Angel’s father, Trevor, looked at his wife; throwing her affectionate glances, touching her arm. She’d also seen the way Angel’s mum looked adoringly at her husband across the dinner table whenever he spoke. Their feelings for each other after years of marriage were still apparent.
When Lorna caught Andrew glancing her way across the dinner table, although she could see he was enjoying the company and camaraderie of new friends, she didn’t feel that he looked at her in the same affectionate, adoring way Trevor looked at his wife.
Of course, Andrew would often throw a smile her way, as she did with him, but it was the nuances, the subtleties of a look here, a knowing smile there, that were missing between them, whereas it was plain to see that Angel’s parents were still very much in love.
Lorna had heard Andrew whistling a happy tune as he packed that morning. She’d been upstairs, putting some towels in the airing cupboard. His happy tune had drawn her to the bedroom doorway, where she now stood watching him. She was no stranger to his cheerful disposition whenever he was getting ready to go on a cruise for work. She leaned against the doorframe, folded her arms and stared at him.
She could tell that he must have felt her eyes boring into his back. He turned around. ‘What is it?’
Lorna frowned. His happy tune and light-hearted disposition were getting on her nerves. They didn’t normally, but it was different this time. She’d wanted to go with him in the past, it was true. But all the other times, Briony had still been at home, and consequently, Lorna had not made arrangements with work so that she could go with him.
This time she had, but during the past week, they’d spent hardly any time together. Lorna still hadn’t found the right time to tell him she’d given up work – albeit temporarily – to have an adventure together, and spend some time getting to know one another again, sans Briony. This was a monumental change in their lives, their daughter leaving home for good, even though it was still playing on her mind that she hadn’t heard from her.
Lorna left him to his packing and raced upstairs to the attic room while Andrew was busy. There was something she’d been meaning to do. She had planned to leave it until Andrew had gone, but what if Angel came back in the meantime? This was her only opportunity. It had to be now.
Lorna had the spare key to hand. She glanced down the stairs. Andrew was still whistling that familiar, I’m off on another cruise, irritatingly happy tune. He must still be in the middle of packing. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind her.
She turned around and stared at the room. Although it was just the same old room, with the same furniture, lamps, and rugs, it didn’t feel like Briony’s room anymore. Her posters, books, various trophies and awards, knick-knacks and holiday souvenirs she’d brought back from her holidays staying with her grandpa in America – all the familiar things that had made the attic Briony’s – were gone.
It reminded Lorna of the day her father had suddenly announced he was leaving Oxford University for a new position at Stanford University in America. She remembered the day he’d left, the room devoid of all his books, paperwork and detritus that made the old attic his own.
And now this room showed Lorna the stark reality that Briony had gone too – and she wasn’t coming back.
Lorna hadn’t been up to the room since Briony was packing to leave two weeks earlier. How could a fortnight seem like a lifetime? She missed her daughter terribly. But Briony hadn’t just been packing for her trip. In the corner of the room were packing boxes. Lorna knelt and opened a flap of one of the boxes. Briony hadn’t had time to seal them up. They contained all her things, ready for her move in with Freddie on her return.
Lorna lifted out an old school textbook, and one of the earliest trophy ribbons Briony had received for a science project when she was in high school. Lorna could feel tears in her eyes as she wondered where all the years had gone.
She carefully returned the items to the box and sat for a moment thinking back to what Andrew had said when she’d told him she wanted to contact the organisers of the expedition and check that Briony was okay. Lorna had come up to the attic to see if she could find the contact details. But she hadn’t bothered to look for them. She realised that Andrew was right. He was always right. It was time to accept that her baby was an adult now, out in the world, making her own decisions.
And thinking of being an adult, and making her own decisions, Lorna stepped out of the room and closed the door. She remembered to lock it. A moment later, she’d joined Andrew in the bedroom, found her suitcase, and started packing.
Unsurprisingly, Andrew stopped what he was doing and looked at her in surprise. ‘Why are you packing your suitcase?’
Lorna looked at him. She’d made a decision. She’d just checked that there was still availability on the cruise, pausing outside the bedroom door to Google the cruise on her phone before she stepped in the room. It turned out she’d get an excellent last-minute deal, including the flights, which meant she could join Andrew because there were loads of spaces still available. She was taking a leaf out of her daughter’s book, making a decision for herself. She grinned. Good times. She had got to the last part of the booking process online. She would only have to press one more button after she’d told Andrew she was going with him.
‘Aren’t you going to tell me what’s going on?’
Lorna threw a swim towel into her suitcase, still smiling. She wasn’t sure whether they’d have one on board the cruise ship. She’d never been on a cruise before. Better to be safe than sorry.
She glanced at Andrew. She had thought of packing when he’d left, getting a taxi, and surprising him at the airport. Or even on the flight. Wouldn’t that be something – seeing the look on his face when he saw her walking down the plane aisle? The trouble was she hadn’t been abroad in an age and rather fancied some company on the way to the airport. Besides, it seemed such a waste, paying for two taxis.
‘Oh, before I go,’ he was still eyeing her suitcase, waiting for her to tell him what she was up to, ‘here’s this.’ He got out a leaflet from his wallet.
Lorna had her hands in the wardrobe, looking for her summer dresses. She turned around. ‘What’s this?’
‘I found the details of Briony’s trip. It will save you sneaking up to the attic to try and find it.’
Lorna’s face coloured. She hoped he hadn’t caught her guilty look. Lorna cast the leaflet aside on the bed. ‘Never mind that.’
He looked at her, surprised. ‘But I thought you wanted to chase it up, get in contact with them, and check she’s okay? I know I told you not to, but I guessed you’d do it anyway.’
Lorna smiled. ‘I’ve changed my mind.’
‘You have?’
‘Yeah – you’re right. I need to let her go.’
Andrew smiled. ‘There, you see. I knew you’d come to your senses.’
Lorna’s smile faltered. She tried not to take that as an insult. Andrew was always right. And it seemed he always had a way of making the point, and appearing to belittle her, although she was sure that wasn’t his intention, and he was well-meaning.
‘So, what’s with the packing?’ He nodded his head, indicating her suitcase.
She cast her thoughts about Andrew’s rather condescending attitude towards her aside, and was about to utter the words, I’m coming with you, imagining his reaction when she told him, You know the surprise I’ve been telling you about? Well, this is it. But that thought was interrupted by the sound of her phone. She had a text.
She’d already played out the conversation in her mind, imagining what would happen when she told him she was going to accompany him on the cruise. She knew what his reaction would be: This isn’t going to work. To which she’d reply, Of course it is. I know you’re working, but you must have some time off, surely. There are shore excursions I can go on. Perhaps some we can go on one together.
‘Aren’t you going to look at that?’ Andrew interrupted her thoughts.
Of course she was. That was why she hadn’t said anything. Despite her seemingly blasé attitude, telling Andrew that she’d accepted Briony was off living her life, and that she’d let her go, it wasn’t the case at all. Every time an email popped into her inbox, or she received a text or WhatsApp message, her first thought was Briony, and whether she’d finally got in touch.
This was no different. She quickly looked at her phone. ‘Oh.’
‘Everything all right?’
Lorna frowned. It wasn’t from Briony. It was another one of those texts. She’d received the first text the previous Sunday, just before Angel’s parents had turned up at their house and had ended up having dinner with them. Then she’d forgotten about it, which wasn’t surprising. With Andrew’s long hours, working in the orchestra in Oxford, their lives, and their relationship amounted, as usual, to ships passing in the night.
‘And?’ Andrew was busy carefully folding some starched white shirts into his suitcase.
Lorna sighed. She didn’t want to talk about it. She’d got another text, a few days later, which she’d also ignored, just giving the unknown number a cursory glance. She’d assumed it had been sent to her phone by mistake. However it wasn’t until the previous day, when she’d gone to delete them, and had actually opened the texts, that she’d realised her assumption was wrong. They were for her.
Now she had another one, along the same lines, asking her to get in touch.
Lorna sighed. ‘It’s from the hospital in Aldeburgh.’
‘Hospital in Aldeburgh? Where’s that?’
‘On the Suffolk Coast. It’s where my mother lives.’
Andrew stopped folding a shirt, and turned around. ‘She’s in hospital?’
Lorna stepped into the room. ‘Yeah, apparently.’
‘She wrote, didn’t she? Saying she was going in for a routine op and wanting you to house-sit. That was weeks ago.’
So, the hospital got in touch now – why?’
‘They wouldn’t say. I don’t suppose they can leave messages.’
‘But they did leave you a message.’
‘Of sorts.’ Lorna glanced at her phone. ‘There’s no personal information. They just said I should get in touch.’
‘She’s put you down as the next of kin, then.’
‘I guess. That was years ago, though.’ She was staring at her phone when something occurred to her. Where had the hospital got her new mobile phone number from?
She looked up, about to share her thoughts, when Andrew said, ‘You shouldn’t have dismissed those texts.’
Lorna glared at him. She didn’t want a lecture. But as usual, he was absolutely right. She looked at her phone. She had a bad feeling.
‘Doesn’t sound good to me, if the hospital is trying to get in touch with you.’ Andrew turned around and continued packing.
Lorna frowned at his back. ‘Aren’t you going ask me if I’d like you to accompany me to the hospital?’
Andrew whirled around. He put his hands on his hips. ‘You’ve been estranged from your mother all these years, not letting myself or Briony near her. Now she might be on her way out, you want me to give up this cruise and the money, drop everything, and come with you to see someone I don’t even know?’
Lorna looked at the floor. He did have a point. Mind you, she’d be dropping everything too. She was going on the cruise with him – he just didn’t know it yet.
Andrew sighed. ‘Look, hopefully everything is going to be okay. Maybe they’re getting in touch because she’s had to stay in hospital longer as a result of some … complications, and they just need to inform the next of kin that’s she’s in for an extended stay.’
Lorna looked up. That sounded reasonable. It would mean she could still go on the cruise and choose to visit on her return. ‘I’ve taken some time off work.’
‘Excuse me?’
She looked at him askance. She’d been so surprised that he hadn’t noticed she was no longer getting ready to leave for work. She’d thought, sooner or later, that he’d ask, but he hadn’t. Didn’t that epitomise their relationship lately? He just didn’t seem interested; his mind appeared elsewhere most of the time.
‘Yeah, I’ve taken a sabbatical from work – a career break – until the New Year.’
Andrew stared at her. ‘To spend time with your mother?’
‘Of course not! I did it for us, to spend some time with you.’
Andrew furrowed his brow. ‘I don’t understand. Doing what?’
Lorna gaped at him. ‘It’s going to be my fortieth, I wanted to do something special – together. Like go away on a cruise with you.’
‘What about your private music tuition?’
‘I’ve put that on hold too. No more lessons until after Christmas. That’s why I’m booking a last-minute cruise.’
‘A last-minute cruise? Where?’
‘To the Caribbean.’ She grinned. ‘I’m coming with you – surprise!’