Chapter 39
Briony heard someone knocking at the outbuilding door. Startled, she shouted out, ‘Go away!’
‘Briony – it’s me. I am so sorry.’
Sitting on the sofa, feeling sorry for herself, Briony shook her head. ‘It’s not your fault, Angel. How could it be? I should have told them in the first place. At least it’s out there now.’
She hoped her mum wasn’t standing on the other side of the that door with Angel. ‘Where’s my mum?’ she called out. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to her right now. In fact, she knew she didn’t.
‘She’s talking to some guy.’
‘Sebastian,’ breathed Briony.
‘Who?’
‘Never mind.’ Briony said, ‘And Freddie? Is he … with you?’
‘He’s sitting on the beach at the water’s edge. He said he wanted to be alone.’
Briony wasn’t surprised. Not only had he got her letter, in which she had effectively dumped him, but he now had to digest the most unexpected of news; on the day he had learned they were breaking up, he had also learned he was going to be a dad. How terrible that when this should have been the best of news, something to celebrate, it understandably wasn’t.
Briony started to cry. ‘I’ve made such a mess of things, Angel. For everyone.’
‘Can I come in?’ Angel asked tentatively.
Briony wiped the tears from her eyes, got up and walked over to the door. She opened it. But as soon as she saw her best friend, she dissolved into tears again.
Angel closed the door and embraced her. ‘Oh, Briony. I’ve missed you so much. I hated that we parted on bad terms.’
‘Oh, Angel, me too. Me too.’
They sat down on the sofa together, holding hands. ‘This is really something,’ commented Angel, looking around.
‘My grandmother had drawn up plans to have the outbuilding renovated. The furniture was my idea. I wanted to add a mezzanine level with a bedroom and en suite too. I didn’t do that, obviously. I wanted to wait and get permission from my grandmother first.’
‘Look, I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother.’
‘I hoped she’d wake up. I knew I’d have to contact my mum. I felt like time was running out. It’s just as well she’s here. If my grandmother doesn’t wake up soon …’ Briony trailed off, not wanting to think about the inevitable – she wasn’t going to get better. It was time she faced that fact, just as she’d have to face her mum and Freddie.
‘I did it for her, as a surprise. I got it into my head that I could live here, with the baby. I knew Freddie wouldn’t leave Oxford.’ If he wasn’t prepared to move there, even if it meant commuting for work, and she didn’t want to return to Oxford, what did that say about their relationship?
She turned to Angel. ‘I knew it wasn’t just about that; it was about our relationship. That’s why I wrote that letter. Then I got cold feet and didn’t post it. I was thinking that I needed to put my baby first, not myself.’
‘You shouldn’t stay with someone just for the sake of your baby. That’s just wrong, Briony. Your child will grow up the midst of an unhappy marriage. That wouldn’t be good for you or the baby. But then I guess you knew that, because you ended up posting the letter.’
‘Actually, I didn’t. I lost the letter. Some so-called good Samaritan must have found it and posted it. I’ve got that person to thank for this.’
Angel took her hand. ‘Look, call it fate or serendipity, but perhaps it was meant to be. I saw you with that guy, Troy. You love him, don’t you?’
‘Oh, Angel, I’ve tried to hold my feelings back.’
‘Because you’re pregnant with Freddie’s child?’
‘Yes.’
‘Troy didn’t know, did he?’
It wasn’t really a question. Briony realised that Angel and everyone else had seen Troy’s reaction. ‘There just didn’t seem to be a right time to tell him. All along, I was sitting on the fence, thinking that I should go back to Freddie – for the baby’s sake, because it was the right thing to do.’
‘The right thing for whom?’
Briony shrugged.
They both sat, looking through the floor-to-ceiling window at a young man sitting on the beach at the water’s edge, his back to them.
Briony stared at Freddie. ‘Will he be okay – do you think?’
‘Will you?’ Angel asked.
Briony turned to face Angel. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s always been all about me, hasn’t it?’ Briony wondered if that came from being an only child, doted on by her parents.
Angel didn’t object to that statement, and Briony didn’t expect her too. ‘Tell me, how’s it been living in the attic at my parents? Has everything been okay?’
‘It was fine – until Lorna told me to leave.’
‘Seriously? I’m not having that.’ Briony stood up. ‘It’s not your fault I made a mess of things, and you kept my secret because I told you to.’
Angel took her hand and gave it a gentle tug for her to sit back down. ‘That wasn’t the reason she asked me to leave.’
‘What happened?’
‘We kissed.’
Briony furrowed her brow. ‘I’m sorry – what?’
‘Freddie and me. This morning. He’d been waiting for me in the attic, with the letter. He’d arrived while I was out. He thought I knew about the letter, knew that you were splitting up from him. Of course I had no clue. I was consoling him and – it just happened. It was my fault. You can’t blame Freddie. I’ve fancied him so badly, for so long, and I just took advantage.’ Angel looked at her hands. ‘Now you know my secret.’
‘You’re in love with Freddie.’
Angel looked up. ‘I swear it was just one stupid kiss. Your mum happened to walk in and see us, and of course she jumped to conclusions and thought we had been carrying on behind your back, and that was why you and I had had a falling-out.’ She paused. ‘Are you mad at me?’
‘Of course not. How could I be? No one can help who they fall in love with.’
‘Like you and Troy.’
Briony sighed. ‘Yes, like me and Troy.’ She stood up.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To tell my mum that it was one big misunderstanding – you and Freddie. That she’d misread the situation. She has to take you back.’
‘You don’t have to do that, Briony.’
‘But I do. I promised you my room, and I’m going to sort it out.’
‘No, you really don’t have to do that. You see, I’m moving in with Freddie, as a flatmate, while I sort out somewhere else to live. We talked about it on the way here.’
Briony sat down and placed her hand on Angel’s arm. ‘It’s all right, you know. No more secrets. You have my blessing.’
Angel furrowed her brow. ‘Your blessing? I don’t understand.’
She shifted her attention to the window overlooking the beach, and Freddie still sitting alone by the water’s edge. ‘I know Freddie is going to be okay, and do you know how?’
Angel shook her head.
‘Because he has you. And I know you love him, Angel. You always have. I see it now.’
‘But it was only one kiss! We’re not—’
‘But you will be. I just know it!’ Briony leaned over and hugged her.
Now, it was Angel’s turn to cry into her shoulder. ‘Oh, if only you’re right.’
‘I am – trust me.’
Angel said, ‘You’ll be going back to your old attic room, I imagine.’
Briony shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. There’s no going back.’
‘Where will you go? Will you stay here?’
Briony thought of Troy. How could she, knowing what she’d done, what she’d kept from him? What if she saw him in the village? Just imagining it was enough to make her feel she had to leave the place. She’d been sitting on her own in the outbuilding, figuring out what she was going to do. She said, ‘I’ve already got plans.’
‘Will you tell me?’
‘I will. Just not right now. I need to think. I have unfinished business here.’
‘You mean that guy – Troy?’
‘No, not Troy.’ Briony felt bad for abandoning Reggie, but she would have to swallow her pride and phone Joss. She wanted to make sure he’d get in touch with Reggie to try and sort out his letter and the extortionate rent rise.
She didn’t know what would happen about her grandmother’s place and those letters she’d received, but her mum was there now, so that problem was in her hands.
Briony resolved to make one last visit to her grandmother in the hope that she might wake up. She knew in her heart that it wasn’t going to happen, and wished the thought hadn’t crossed her mind that it might be the last time she saw her grandmother alive. At least she could hold her hand and tell her that she loved her before she departed.
‘You’re not leaving tonight, are you?’ Angel asked.
‘No, I’m going to stay here tonight, and pack my things in the morning.’ Briony was just thankful she’d bought a comfortable sofa for the outbuilding. And there were throws, and cushions. She wasn’t going to think about what she’d do if she needed the loo in the night. She’d have to sneak into The Beach House. In the morning, she intended to head off to the hospital, and then she would leave for good.
Briony glanced around the outbuilding. With her mum there, there was no way she was going to stay in the house. She imagined that her mum was probably going to stay the night. Briony wanted to stay as far away as possible. She did not want or need the third degree from her mum just then, or to be told what a disappointment she’d turned out to be.
She’d have to face the music in the morning, though, when she’d need to return to the house to pack her things and have breakfast before she left.
‘Angel, I wish you could stay here too, but there’s only this couch. You could stay in the house. I have a key, and there’s a spare bedroom.’ Briony wasn’t convinced that her mum would let Angel stay, though.
‘I’d love to, but Freddie booked two rooms at the pub in the village.’
‘You stopped off at the pub? Did my mum book a room there too?’ she asked hopefully.
Angel shook her head. ‘I’m afraid not. We didn’t travel down together, obviously, as she was still mad at us. We were following her, then lost her, so we had to stop in the village and ask directions at the pub. The barman directed us to the beachside car park near a café.’
Briony smiled. ‘Yes, the barman did the same when my taxi driver asked for directions too.’
Angel said, ‘So we spotted her car, and managed to follow her. The car park was pretty full, though – we were lucky to get a space.’
‘Yes, because of the party.’ Briony winced, thinking of the people at the party and how it had ended so abruptly on such a sour, embarrassing note. She didn’t know how she could look those people in the eye ever again. It was another reason to leave.
Briony wondered why her mum hadn’t parked in the driveway outside the house. She said as much.
‘There’s a driveway?’
Briony nodded.
‘The barman didn’t mention that.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
‘Maybe he wasn’t aware,’ commented Angel.
‘Or maybe he just likes to make things awkward for out-of-towners.’
‘Wouldn’t be unheard-of in a small place such as this, I guess.’
‘Still doesn’t explain why my mum parked at the beach car park and walked, though.’
‘Perhaps she just wanted to have some thinking time before she saw you.’
Briony looked at Angel. ‘I think you’re right. She must have been pretty mad when she found out I’d lied and was here in Suffolk all along.’
Angel looked at her for a long moment. ‘I wouldn’t say mad. She looked … anxious. Scared, even. Do you think it might have something to do with your grandmother? After all, she didn’t want you to come here. She did bin the letter your grandmother sent you. And I’ll tell you another thing …’
‘What is it?’
‘I’m sorry to tell you this, but I saw the relief that swept over you mum’s face when you said your grandmother was in a coma.’