Chapter 40
Briony woke up with a start. She’d finally slept through the night again, as she had for the first few nights after her arrival on the Suffolk Coast. It was the sound of the alarm on her mobile phone that had woken her up. She’d thought as she’d settled down that she’d wake up freezing at some point; she was, after all, sleeping on the couch in the outbuilding in her clothes under a throw. But she found that she wasn’t cold at all; she was so warm and toasty under a thick duvet that she didn’t want to get up.
Briony sat up with a start and looked at the duvet. ‘What the …?’ She hadn’t fetched a duvet from The Beach House the previous night, nor a pillow. She hadn’t wanted to bump into her mum – or Sebastian – in The Beach House. She still did not want the third degree from her mum about what she’d done, lying about the trip and about her pregnancy. And she really did not want to discover that Sebastian had stayed the night too. She didn’t even want to think about that possibility.
So where had the duvet come from?
She remembered saying goodnight to Angel and watching her fetch Freddie and walk with him back in the direction of the car park, on their way to the pub, where they’d booked rooms.
Freddie had looked towards the outbuilding, but if he had wanted to talk to her about what would happen next, with the baby, Angel had dissuaded him. Briony had told her to. She wasn’t ready to have that conversation, and she imagined that with Freddie still absorbing the news that he was going to be a father, he wasn’t ready either for the practicalities of what was going to happen now they were no longer together.
Briony stood up and wrapped the duvet around her as she walked over to the little kitchen to flick the kettle on. She switched on an electric heater. The weather had changed. There was no mistaking the season now; as dawn approached, rain pelted the window. The sea looked rough; it was going to be a grey, overcast day.
‘What a difference a day makes,’ said Briony miserably. Was it really just this time yesterday that I was snuggled up with Troy, watching the sunrise with him, looking forward to a perfect day with my friends and a party to celebrate the completion of the outbuilding?
She cringed at the thought of what had happened with the arrival of her mum, Angel and Freddie. Little had she known that, as she was preparing for the party, they had been on their way, making the journey by car from Oxford. If their intention had been to embarrass her, their timing couldn’t have been better. Serves me right for lying to them all.
Briony slumped down on the sofa with a cup of tea. She wouldn’t be sitting for long. The reason she’d set the alarm was not so she could watch the sunrise – it would have been a complete waste of time that morning anyway, with the thick mass of dark grey clouds. She’d set the alarm to sneak into The Beach House, and hopefully pack up her stuff, without waking her mum.
The previous night, her mum had knocked on the outbuilding door, asking her to open up so they could speak. Briony had told her to go away. It wasn’t her mum’s fault – well, not all of it. Briony should have just told her that the Galapagos Islands trip was off. But she hadn’t. And that had come back to bite her. Although she still wouldn’t have told her where she was going instead – to her grandmother’s. Not after her mum had had the cheek to bin that letter addressed to her from her grandmother.
She finished her tea, stood up and folded the duvet. She knew where it had come from. Troy had left a spare set of keys to the new outbuilding on the kitchen counter. Her mum must have crept in later with a duvet and pillow, and some provisions, when she was fast asleep, stocking the kitchen cupboard with teabags and sugar. Briony had found a fresh pint of milk in the fridge. There was even a box of cereal – the opened one she’d been eating in the mornings in the house.
Briony put her mug down on the glass coffee table and looked at the piece of notepaper she’d found by the kettle. She read the brief note from her mum.
Sweetheart, I’m not angry with you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Not at all. Please come up to the house when you wake. I left you some breakfast cereal, but I’d love to have breakfast together. We have a lot to talk about. I love you. Mum x
Briony sat down and stared at the note. She’d had a plan. Now she didn’t know what to do. She could feel her eyes growing heavy. It was so early. Perhaps there was no harm in having an extra half-hour’s doze under the cosy duvet before she made up her mind about what she was going to do.
Briony woke with a start at the sound of a text. She reached for her phone and saw the time. So much for her plan to steal into The Beach House before her mum woke up, pack her stuff and leave. Unless her mum was having a lie-in too, that plan was out of the window.
She read the text. It was Angel, asking if she was okay, and hoping she was still fine with the fact that she and Freddie would be heading back to Oxford. It was Sunday, they had work tomorrow, and she was moving her stuff into the spare room at Freddie’s flat. She added that Freddie wasn’t ready to speak to Briony.
Briony wasn’t surprised. She imagined he was still processing it all: the break-up, the baby, seeing her with Troy. She was still processing it all herself.
She replied to Angel, thankful that they weren’t returning to The Beach House but were going home instead. Briony still had the note from her mum; she’d fallen asleep with it in her hand. She had things to deal with before she left Suffolk, and then she’d phone Freddie when she was ready – and find out if he wanted to speak to her about the baby, or have anything to do with it, now they weren’t together.
‘If I hadn’t written that letter …’ Briony frowned at the thought that without it having been posted to him, they wouldn’t have all turned up at the party. Her face coloured at the thought that Freddie had seen her with Troy and had assumed she’d been cheating on him. Although it wasn’t true, there was no point telling Freddie. Something Troy had said came to her mind, about his father. About Sebastian’s heart belonging to another. My mother, thought Briony.
‘And now my heart belongs to another.’ She wished she’d never met Troy, and fallen in love. ‘Oh, I’ve made such a mess of things,’ Briony said again, aware that she sounded like a broken record. She looked at the note, and cried, ‘I need my mum!’
She fled from the outbuilding and raced up the beach. All evidence of the beach party yesterday – the deckchairs, the barbecue, the fire – had gone; all apart from the string of lanterns, still flickering, lighting the way from the outbuilding to The Beach House in the gloom of the grey, overcast day. In any other circumstances, the pretty row of lanterns would have lifted Briony’s spirits – but not today.
She stepped into the kitchen and glanced at the sleeping kittens. Their water and food bowls beside their bed were empty.
‘Mum!’ she called out. She heard something and then saw Luna and Wilbur emerge from the lounge, both bounding up to her as though she’d been gone for years. ‘Oh, sweethearts. Did you think I’d left you? I wouldn’t do that – not in a million years.’
Tears started rolling down her face at the thought that she’d forgotten all about her grandmother’s dog, and the two little rescue kittens, along with her own little foster fail, Wilbur. ‘I am so sorry! I forgot about you.’
It took a good few minutes for both exuberant dogs to calm down. ‘Mum!’ she called out again. She raced up the stairs, the two dogs following behind. Her pace slowed when something horrible occurred to her – what if her mum was having a lie-in – with Sebastian?
She shook her head. Her mum wouldn’t do that – would she? Cheat on Dad? Besides, Lorna and Sebastian – that had been many years earlier. But what of the passage of time – would that have changed their feelings if it was true love?
Briony suddenly thought of her grandmother and Frank, and those love letters. If they met today, over half a century later, would their love have dimmed with the passage of time, or would it be as strong as ever?
‘Mum?’ Briony called out in a small voice. She tentatively pushed open the door to the double bedroom, expecting to find her mum and Sebastian fast asleep, entwined in each other’s arms.
Briony breathed a sigh of relief when she discovered her imagination had run away with her. Sebastian wasn’t there. Neither was her mum. The bed was made. But her mum had stayed the night there. Her overnight bag was on the floor, and her silk pyjamas were neatly folded on a pillow.
Briony had a quick look around, checking the small bedroom, where the duvet and pillow were missing. In the bathroom, apart from her mum’s toiletries, there was no evidence she could see that anyone other than her mum had stayed the night.
Briony turned around to find Wilbur and Luna standing patiently on the landing, looking up at her. ‘What am I going to do with you? I can’t stay here.’
She remembered the note from her mum. Perhaps I can stay here until Blythe comes home, she thought. She frowned. Would her mum want her to? She suddenly recalled what Angel had said – I saw the relief that swept over you mum’s face when you said your grandmother was in a coma.
She’s come here to take me home to Oxford, Briony realised.
Briony walked into the spare bedroom and began packing her suitcase. She won’t let me stay here, not when she returns to Oxford; not if there’s any possibility that Blythe will wake up and tell me the big secret – whatever it is that Mum doesn’t want me to know.
Whatever it was, Briony would rather not know. She had enough problems and complications in her life as it was.
She realised it was for the best that her mum wasn’t in the house after all. ‘I can’t go back to Oxford,’ she said aloud. She didn’t know how to face her dad and his look of disappointment when he found out she’d lied to them. Perhaps he was off on one of those cruises. The trouble was that she didn’t want to get in touch with him and find out, otherwise some awkward questions would ensue regarding the Galapagos Islands trip.
She continued packing. There was one place she could go. She closed the suitcase, grabbed her bag, and turned around. The two dogs were ganging up on her with their droopy ears and sad puppy-dog expressions. Wilbur whined as he padded over and sniffed her suitcase. Luna cocked her head to one side, listening to Briony’s voice as she said, ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do with you all. You can’t come with me.’
Briony deposited her case and bag downstairs in the hall. Wilbur and Luna followed her into the kitchen and watched her open the back door. They ran outside, straight to the back of the outbuilding, to do their business. Briony sighed and returned to the hall. She picked up the phone, took a deep breath and dialled Emily’s number.
When Emily answered the phone, for a moment Briony didn’t know what to say. She was so embarrassed about the previous day and was feeling heartbroken that she was having to make this call.
‘Briony – is that you?’
‘Yes,’ Briony said in a small voice.
‘Oh, I’m so pleased you rang. I was worried about you.’
‘I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.’
‘Why on earth not?’
‘Because of what happened at the party.’
‘Listen, Briony, no family is perfect. We’ve all got out problems, our little secrets hidden away in closets.’
‘But mine came out of the closet in front of everyone – big time!’
‘Well, I’m glad it did. Well, I’m not glad that it happened in front of everyone, that was a bit … unfortunate, the timing of their arrival. But I think it’s for the best that your secret is out. Secrets fester, and in the end they just cause harm.’
Briony wondered what secrets her mum and grandmother had been keeping from her – and what harm they might do, after all these years.
‘I’d love to see you. Can I come over? We can have a Wolf Girls Club meeting,’ Emily said hopefully.
‘I was thinking of coming to you, actually.’
‘Perfect. Shall we say this afternoon? We can have lunch together.’
Briony winced. ‘It isn’t really a social visit. Look, I need you to do something for me.’
‘Anything – name it. What are friends for?’
Briony looked down at the two dogs, who were back, sitting either side of her legs. She was trying her best not to look at them. They were sticking close, sensing that something was up.
She heard a mewing and saw the two kittens appear at the kitchen door. She instantly thought of Willow, who she knew would love to have the kittens. But she knew that she couldn’t just hand them over to her without discussing it with her father first. And that was another problem. She did not want to see Sebastian or anybody else who’d been at the party and witnessed the terribly embarrassing incident.
She didn’t think her mum would look after them if she left them at the house. She hadn’t that morning – that was obvious. Neither Luna nor Wilbur had been fed, and their water hadn’t been changed. The kittens had been given no food or water either, and their litter tray hadn’t been cleaned out.
And the dogs hadn’t been let out, otherwise she was sure the sound of them sniffing and whining outside the outbuilding, realising she was in there, would have woken her up.
Briony felt a lump in her throat over what she was going to say next. ‘I need you to take Luna, Wilbur and the kittens back.’
She waited for what seemed like an age before Emily replied. ‘You’re leaving?’
‘I think so – yes.’
‘Oh, Briony, don’t run away because of what happened yesterday at the party. I know you must have been so embarrassed, but we’re a lovely bunch of people. Honestly, nobody is going to hold it against you – I swear.’
‘It’s not about the party.’
‘It’s Troy, isn’t it?’
Briony fell silent. She didn’t feel like she could stay there. Her grandmother was still in hospital, and things weren’t looking good. Who knew what would happen to The Beach House and the outbuilding if she didn’t return? There were just too many variables, and Briony needed to make a decision about her future. Besides, even if it turned out that she could stay on there, what would be the point if she wasn’t with Troy? Every sunrise would be like a stab to the heart without him by her side. Every sunrise would just remind her of what could have been.
Emily said softly, ‘Joss seemed to get on well with Troy. Would you like him to speak to Troy for you, explain—’
‘No, Emily. Thank you. But no.’
‘I’ll miss the Wolf Girls Club.’
Briony sighed. ‘Me too.’ She looked down at the two beautiful dogs she loved, and the little kittens pouncing on her shoe, and felt sick with grief that she had to give them all up. Give all this up.
‘Don’t worry about the pets, Briony. Of course I’ll take them. Is your grandmother still … not well?’
‘Probably. I’m going to see her before I leave.’ It occurred to her that perhaps her mum had rushed out that morning to see Blythe in hospital, deciding to feed and water the cats and dogs on her return. She hoped that was the case. But even so, she wanted to know she’d left them with someone she could trust. She didn’t trust her mum. She’d kept her grandmother from her, and her past with Sebastian, along with a side of her Briony had never known – her love of the beach and the sea, diving; all the sorts of things she’d discouraged Briony from pursuing over the years.
She looked about her and thought of her grandmother in hospital. She was convinced that was where her mum would be. She’d see her there before she left.
‘I’ll come and pick them up later this afternoon. I don’t normally work at my practice on Sunday, but I’ve got an emergency appointment this morning, I’m afraid.’
Briony still had the keys to Blythe’s car in her coat pocket. She recalled that her mum had driven up in her own car separately from Freddie and Angel.
‘I’m going to visit the hospital now, but I’ll come back and wait for you here.’
‘Good, good. But you do realise that when I come, I’m going to do my very best to persuade you to stay.’
Briony managed a smile.
‘I might bring reinforcements too.’
‘Clarissa?’
‘Oh, yes. That reminds me. She’s going to get in touch with you. She found out—’
‘Look, can you tell Clarissa, thanks for looking into the solicitor’s letters, but my mum is here now. I’m sure she’ll get to the bottom of what’s going on.’
‘All right, Briony. But she’ll want to pop along in any case just to see you before you leave. I’d bring Joss along, but he’s opened his doors today, because this time of year, at the start of the run-up to Christmas, there are so many people with all sorts of money worries.’
Briony raised her eyebrows. She’d forgotten about Reggie. ‘Oh, Emily, you’ve reminded me about Reggie.’
‘Reggie?’
‘Yes, he got some bad news. He received one of those solicitor’s letters. I think it’s from whoever is after my grandmother’s house.’
‘They want his house too?’
‘His business. And his home.’
‘The music shop in Cobblers Yard?’
‘Yes. They’ve hiked his business rent all of a sudden, like massively. It’ll put him out of business. And out on the street. He lives there too. They must realise that. I think they’ve done it on purpose. I don’t think he’ll go and see Joss, though.’
‘Why not? I’m sure Joss could help.’
‘Yes, that’s what I thought. But Reggie insisted there were people far worse off than him, so he didn’t want to take up Joss’s time with his problems. I promised I’d get in touch myself and see if there’s something Joss can do.’
‘Briony, I’ll be sure to tell him. It doesn’t sound as though Reggie will go over and see Joss, so I’ll be sure to ask Joss to pay him a visit instead.’
‘Oh, would you?’ Briony asked, relieved. She’d have felt awful, just leaving without mentioning Reggie’s predicament to Joss. As it was, she was walking out of her job in the shop – that was bad enough. She looked again at the sweet cats and dogs by her feet and felt a lump in her throat at all the people and animals she was letting down.
‘You really don’t have to leave, Briony. Come stay with us.’
‘At your vet’s practice?’
‘It’s a hotel too.’
‘For cats and dogs.’
‘Yes, but we’ve got more than enough room to put you up.’
‘That is so kind of you, Emily.’
‘You’re not going to come and stay with us, are you?’
She’d lost Troy. Whatever happened – whatever her mum told her, or didn’t tell her, about what had gone on between her and Blythe, and the reason Briony had never been to The Beach House before – what did it matter? The life she’d thought she might have had there, with Troy, was over.
‘The offer is always open, if you change your mind.’
‘Thank you, Emily. You’ve been a good friend.’
‘I’ll see you this afternoon, Briony.’
‘Yes, see you then.’