Chapter 18
Ronan groaned as he stretched, waiting for the pot of coffee to finish brewing as the first light of dawn started to creep up over the horizon.
The splotches of pink and orange stretched over the fields, golden rays brushing the tops of trees, fresh dew on the grass, making the world seem to shimmer.
“Morning,” Tobin said as he walked into the kitchen, grabbed the pot of water, and poured them both cups of coffee. “You were out late last night. Went to look for you when the worst of the storm was over, but I couldn’t find you. Etta couldn’t find Cressida either.”
“We were in a cave not too far from here. Got caught in the hail and looked for cover until the rain stopped.” Ronan took his cup of coffee and had a long drink, the warm chasing away some of the cold that still lingered in his bones from the night before.
His mind drifted to the way he had sat with Cressida by the fire, the blanket wrapped around their shoulders. The more he thought about it, the more he longed to ignore his day of work and go see her.
There was no point in pretending that she wasn’t a woman who meant something to him.
If last night had taught him anything, it was that Cressida had made a place for herself in his heart.
It was a small place, one that was warm and ate away at some of the loneliness that had lived there for so long.
He didn’t know if that part would grow larger, but there was that little voice in the back of his mind that hoped it would.
Tobin shook his head. “Risky game you’re playing.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You keep secrets.” Tobin sipped his coffee before setting it to the side. “If you’re going to be involved with a woman, she deserves to know where your head and your heart lie, and you can’t be honest about that if there are other secrets you’re hiding.”
Ronan pressed his lips into a tight line, but he knew Ronan was right.
A bark came from outside.
“What was that?” Tobin asked, heading for the door. He opened it, and Diver trotted in, sniffing the air, his tail wagging so hard the back half of his body was going, too. “Why is there a puppy here?”
“Cressida found him yesterday,” Ronan said, his eyebrows pulling together. He looked out the window, but Cressida wasn’t out front. “I don’t know what he’s doing here, though. I’ll take him back if you want to get to work with the animals.”
“I’m gonna finish fixing up the barn today. There are some boards in the stalls that need replacing.” Tobin bent down to scratch Diver’s head. “Try not to be too long. I think there might be some other beams we need to replace in the ceiling so we can fix up the roof.”
Ronan groaned but nodded. “I don’t think the work is ever going to end.”
“It’s good to keep busy. You don’t want to be getting into too much trouble.”
“I know.” Ronan leaned down and scooped up Diver. “If you head into town, see what you can find out about getting a livestock dog. Something big that can handle coyotes. We’re going to need one soon, especially once the chicks start getting bigger and figuring out how to get out of their pen.”
Tobin finished his coffee and cleaned the mug quickly. “Will do.”
After Tobin left, Ronan finished his own coffee before heading outside. Once he was outside, he put Diver down, looking for a stick and throwing it up ahead. Diver took off running for it, yipping the entire way.
Diver grabbed the stick and brought it back, dropping it at Ronan’s feet with a smile. Ronan threw the stick again, repeating the process the entire way up the ridge and to the Lockridge house.
Etta was on the front porch when Diver got there, pacing back and forth, the color drained from her face, gripping her crutch so tight her knuckles were white.
“Good dog!” she said as Diver went running back to her. Her gaze found Ronan. “Cressida woke up with a fever, and I let Diver out, hoping he would go and find you since he knows you. Looks like it worked.”
Ronan’s heart dropped to his feet as he looked up at her. “Where is she?”
If something had happened to her, if the fever got any worse, he had to be there with her. He needed to see for himself that she was going to be fine, that she was going to make a full recovery.
He stuffed down the panic rising in his chest, seeing the broken look on Etta’s face. He would be strong, so she could fall apart.
“In her room. I need to fetch some water, but with the way my ankle is working, I can’t haul the bucket back, and if I can’t haul the bucket back, I can’t make her tea or cool her fever or—” Etta’s words choked off as her tears broke free, a couple rolling down her cheeks.
“Please, I need help. I need help to do this.”
His heart broke with her broken begging as he slowly stepped closer to her like he was getting close to a wounded animal.
“It’s okay. I’m going to go get the water from the well. You need to go back inside and open her window. Fresh air will help cool her down, especially with how cool the breeze is this morning.”
Etta wiped her tears with the back of her hand and nodded, her limp worse than it usually was as she made her way back into the house.
Diver trotted alongside Ronan as he went down to the well, lifting the heavy cover off.
He sent the bucket down, filling it with water before lifting it back up, sliding the cover back over the top.
He tried not to slosh too much water over the sides as he and Diver went back to the house.
His heart hammered in his chest. If he had gotten to Cressida sooner yesterday, if he had been able to pull her out of the river and dry her off faster, she wouldn’t have a fever right now.
Maybe they should have ridden home through the storm.
Though that would’ve kept her out in the cold and the wet longer, and it would’ve made her worse.
His mind was a mess of thoughts, tossing and turning over each other, replaying the night before and all the things he could have done differently. All the other courses of action he might have taken that would’ve led to Cressida being awake and happy this morning.
His mouth felt as if someone had stuffed a wad of cotton in it.
Cressida is going to be all right. We’re going to make sure that she’s going to be fine.
He just had to keep trying to convince himself of it throughout the day, and perhaps if he believed hard enough, it would turn out to be true.
Etta was in the kitchen when Ronan stepped inside, letting Diver follow before closing the door. The dog wasted no time in hurrying through the hall, taking off to what he assumed to be Cressida’s room.
“Thank you,” Etta whispered, looking over at him.
“I keep thinking the accident didn’t leave me that changed, and then when this comes up, I can’t even help Cressida like I should.
Not the way she would be able to care for me, at least. She’s given up so much of her life to be there for me, and I can’t even get her a pail of water. ”
“I know it’s tough, and you wish you could do more, but you have to focus on what you can do. Cressida made her choices about what she was willing to give up for you, and you can’t feel guilty about that. She understood what her life would become when she made the choice.”
Ronan put the bucket of water on the counter, looking through the cupboards until he found a glass and filled it. “You work on making a tea. I’m sure she has some blend for drawing out fevers here. I’m going to take this in.”
He went to the hallway and took off his hat and boots, setting the boots neatly to the side and hanging the hat on the hook near the door. Cressida’s shoes from the night before were still sitting there, still soaked and covered in mud.
Later, he would make sure they were clean, so she wouldn’t have a reminder of nearly drowning in the river.
But for now, he went back to Etta, glancing at her and looking away when she took a moment to wipe a tear from her eyes.
He couldn’t imagine how overwhelmed and frustrated she must feel.
“I opened the window, like you told me to, and she started stirring, but her fever felt higher, too.” Etta’s bottom lip quivered as she looked to the ceiling for a moment like she was fighting back more tears.
“She’s going to be okay.” Ronan offered her a small smile, though he knew the words were useless. Etta would be worried for as long as Cressida was lying there with a fever. He would be too, but he would be the strength both sisters needed to get through this.
He went down the hall, following the path Diver took, pushing open the door and stepping into the room, the breeze filling it with the scent of wildflowers.
For a moment, he watched Cressida, the steady rise and fall of her chest, seeing her as comfortable as she could be given the circumstances, then he stopped to take in the room, seeing the pictures on the walls, watercolor paintings of flowers, Cressida’s name signed in the bottom corner.
The top of the vanity near the window was clear save for a small bottle of perfume and a hairbrush. He had half a mind to cross the room to smell the perfume, wanting to know what she smelled like on the rare times she wore it.
However, a small whimper filled the room, breaking his attention from the little things that gave him a better idea of who she was.
Cressida was lying on the bed, a thin blanket draped over her, strands of her hair hanging loose around her head and framing her like a halo.
Her eyelashes fluttered against her flushed cheeks as he stepped into the room.
There was a sheen of sweat on her forehead as her head turned and her eyes opened.
“Good morning,” Ronan said softly, heading over to her and kneeling beside the edge of the bed. “Here, you need to have a bit of water while you’re awake.”
Diver’s ears perked up as he stood and turned, curling into Cressida’s side, nudging her hand with his head, and licking it before he closed his eyes.