Chapter 20 #2
Afterward, the conversation shifted. Ryker and Nikhail chatted about their jobs—in general, vague terms, of course.
“You good?” Nikhail whispered in her ear.
“Yeah.”
He swept his thumb down the back of her hand. “You’re happy?”
“I am.” She glanced over her shoulder. “This is nice, and I’m enjoying it. It’s so… normal.”
There was no mention of being broken or cursed or hated, nor did anyone call River a disappointment. It felt easy in a way that not many things had lately, and she could see herself enjoying many more conversations like this in the future.
Later, after Atlas excused himself to grade papers in his bedroom, Ryker met River’s gaze from across the room.
“I have a question for you,” he said, fidgeting with his phone. “And you certainly don’t need to answer right now, but I’d appreciate it if you thought it over.”
Well, that sounded ominous.
“Okay,” River replied, drawing the word out slowly.
“Brynleigh and I were wondering if you wanted to return to the farmhouse.”
Nikhail tensed behind River, but he didn’t speak. A soft sigh exited River’s chest. “Oh.”
“We know you’re safe with Atlas and Nik, but we’d love to have you back. It’s so quiet without you.” Ryker’s mouth twitched up. “Marlowe misses you, too.”
River drew her lip ring into her mouth and tugged on it, the pain gently grounding her.
On one hand, River would love nothing more than to do just that. She’d forgiven Ryker, after all, and she adored her sister-in-law. Not only that, but she felt comfortable in the farmhouse. At home, in a way that she never had in her parents’ house.
But on the other hand, there was Nikhail. The thought of leaving the air fae, even to go be with Ryker and Brynleigh, had River’s heart aching in her chest.
Silence expanded, seeming to get heavier with each passing moment. She could feel the weight of Nikhail’s and Ryker’s attention as they both waited for her response. Neither would push her, she knew this, and somehow that made making the decision even worse. She didn’t want to hurt either of them.
“I… I’m not sure,” River said after a minute had passed. “I’ll think about it, though.”
A frown skated across Ryker’s lips. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, but River was certain she’d seen it.
River hated that she was hurting him, even though she knew in her heart that this was the right call.
She had to think about herself, right? Had to choose the things that made her happy, that helped the clouds part and let her see the stars.
And right now, that was Nikhail.
She had a growing suspicion that he would always be the one who allowed her to see the stars, if she let him.
River crossed the room, sitting next to her brother. Their knees touched, and she sighed. “I’m sorry, Ryker.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“No, but I feel like I do. At least, let me… explain?”
A moment passed before he dipped his chin.
River exhaled. “It’s not that I don’t love staying with you and Brynleigh. It’s just that things with Nik and me are new, and we’re still exploring our relationship, you know?”
He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I get it.”
“I knew you would.” She placed her hand on his knee. “That’s not the only reason, though. There are things I need to do and plans I need to make. I have to call the hospital and find out when I need to be back. And I think… I think I need to see Mom and talk to her before I leave.”
She needed to put things to bed between them, once and for all. Too long, River had dealt with her mother’s hatred. Too long, she’d assumed that it was the weight she was meant to bear because of her curse.
Now, River was starting to realize that she’d been wrong. She deserved to be treated better by her own mother. To be loved.
And if Tertia couldn’t give that to River, then River would have to make some difficult decisions in the near future.
“You could do that from the farmhouse,” Ryker offered.
“I know.”
He studied her. “But you don’t want to.”
“No.”
Ryker might’ve been a tree and a grounding force in River’s life, but it wasn’t fair for her to constantly depend on him.
She had to do this on her own. Maybe, if River hadn’t been relying so heavily on Ryker, the news of where Brynleigh had come from wouldn’t have been so devastating. Maybe she would’ve handled it better.
“You don’t have to talk to Mom.” Ryker’s low voice pulled River from her thoughts.
“I know, but I want to.” She didn’t want to leave things the way they were. Open, with unanswered questions.
They were going to have a conversation, whether Tertia liked it or not, and River would get confirmation about her mother’s hatred once and for all.
What happened next would be up to Tertia.
“I don’t want to give her any more power over me,” River added.
She had resided beneath the dark umbrella of her mother’s hatred for long enough, and she wanted to be free of it. If freedom meant wading through the darkness a bit longer, then that’s what she would do. Besides, the thought of confronting her mother didn’t seem as awful with Nikhail by her side.
“I understand.” Ryker squeezed her fingers. “You know that you’re always welcome with Brynleigh and me, right? No matter the time or place, no matter what else is happening, our door is always open for you.”
River’s lips swept up. “I know, and there aren’t enough words in the world to express how much I appreciate that. You mean more to me than you know.”
They hugged again, only breaking apart when Ryker’s phone started vibrating. He pulled it out, seeing Brynleigh’s name flashing across the screen.
“I have to take this.” He rose from the couch. “Brynleigh’s at home, working on plans for the Foundation’s upcoming fundraising ball. You’ll come, River?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”
She’d move heaven and earth to be present for her brother and sister-in-law, especially now that she knew how Brynleigh had been Made.
It still hurt, thinking about the Incident, and it probably would for the rest of River’s very long life. But right now, it stung less. River made note to bring this up with Eliza Fern during their next session.
Ryker pressed the phone to his ear as he rose and strode to the kitchen. “Hey, sweetheart…” His voice was a low murmur and grew fainter by the second.
River glanced at Nikhail. She rose to her feet, as if drawn by an unseen force, and Nikhail did the same.
Their bodies swayed together, the distance between them closing.
The handsome air fae cupped her cheek, running his thumb down her skin, and he smiled.
Gods above, that expression was one that River would never get enough of. She could lose herself in it forever.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Her lips quirked up. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely.” He lowered his head and swept his lips across her cheek, then brushed softly over her lips. “And I’m very grateful you aren’t leaving.”
“So am I,” she breathed.
His eyes darkened, and his mouth lowered, hovering over hers. “You make me very happy, River Waterborn.”
“Me, too.”
Another long moment passed, and River couldn’t look away from Nikhail’s lips. She waited for them to fall on hers, for him to hold her close and kiss her senseless, and she just knew it would be incredible.
But before his lips could do more than brush over hers, the door to Atlas’s room snicked shut.
They jolted apart like teenagers who had just been caught kissing in the broom closet. River’s cheeks heated, and Nikhail’s gaze smouldered.
“Later,” he whispered.
Atlas smirked, looking between them, as he headed to the front door. He grabbed a heavy jacket and slid it on.
“I’m heading out.” Atlas pulled on a blue knitted hat. “The sun’s shining, and the land is calling my name. A hike’s in order before I get back to grading.”
River glanced out the window, where, sure enough, the sky was blue and fresh snow glistened on the lawn. Frost was gathered on the window, and though it was rather picturesque, it looked chilly.
“You’re going hiking today?” she asked, unable to suppress a shiver. “Outside?”
Winter had firmly set in. There wasn’t much snow, but the air in the Central Region could be biting on the best of days.
The earth fae chuckled. “That is generally where hikes take place, yes.”
“I’m aware,” River replied. “But… the temperature. It’s winter.”
It seemed she was stuck on that.
“Hence the hat.” Atlas grinned, as though the thought of venturing out through snow-covered forests and up mountains invigorated him.
He’d never been less relatable.
“I was going to ask if you two lovebirds wanted to join me, but…”
“We have plans,” Nikhail interjected smoothly.
River glanced at him. “We do?”
“Or at least, I hope we do. I’d like to take you out for a late lunch.”
“Like a date?” She liked the sound of that. A lot.
Nikhail’s eyes twinkled. “That’s what I was hoping for.”
Their first date.
Honestly, it seemed a little backwards, considering everything they had gotten up to the night before, but that didn’t stop River from breathing, “Yes.”
“Yeah? You’re in?” He grinned.
“Yep. I’d love to go on a date.” River peered over her shoulder. “Sorry, Atlas. I’ll have to pass on the hike.”
The earth fae shook his head, laughing softly. “Not a problem, River. I have a feeling you’ll enjoy the date much more.”
So did she. Racing out of the room, River called out over her shoulder that she needed twenty minutes to get ready. She had to get dressed and dry her hair, but first, she had a phone call to make.
Hopefully, Ember wasn’t at work right now, because River really needed to speak with her best friend. What did one wear on a first date with their brother’s best friend?