Chapter 20
Forgiveness
River toweled off her hair and ran a brush through it before pulling on a pair of leggings and a worn T-shirt. She slipped the necklace Nikhail had given her over her neck, smiling as she traced the jewelry, before she followed the low rumble of male voices to the living room.
The conversation cut off the moment she stepped into the space. Between one breath and the next, tension swelled.
River froze, taking in the scene.
Ryker was sitting on the sofa, an empty spot beside him. He wore running shoes, jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt. No amount of civilian clothing could hide his posture, which gave him away as a military man immediately.
On the other side of the room, Nikhail occupied a large armchair.
He must’ve used Atlas’s shower, because his hair was damp.
He’d exchanged his sweatpants for his typical suit, the put-together attire stirring warmth in River’s core.
Nikhail appeared comfortable, his legs spread in a uniquely masculine fashion, but River didn’t miss the slight tension in his shoulders or the way he slowly scanned the room.
Atlas had forgone a seat, instead choosing to lean against the wall between the kitchen and living room. Dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans, the bespectacled redhead looked less like the professor he was and more like a biker. Colorful tattoos covered his arms and neck, adding to that image.
Atlas lifted his mug to his lips, amusement dancing in his eyes.
River wasn’t sure what had happened between Nikhail and Ryker before her arrival, but there wasn’t any evidence of fighting. A sign of improvement, she hoped. Especially since Nikhail was rapidly becoming the most important person in her life.
Silence expanded. Each moment felt more strained than the last, a marked difference from how things usually were when Nikhail, Ryker, and Atlas were in a room together.
It had never been like this before, but then again, River had never had mind-blowing sex with her brother’s best friend, either. She supposed a little awkwardness was rather natural, in that case.
Either way, River didn’t regret last night. How could she, when being with Nikhail had felt so magical and right?
She might come to regret this, though. Maybe she should’ve taken the easy way out and let Nikhail deal with her brother. Everyone was watching her, and being the center of attention in this tense moment was awkward and uncomfortable.
River briefly considered turning around and hiding in the spare room before she shut that idea down. She was an adult. A Mature fae. A doctor, for the gods’ sakes.
She could do this.
“Ryker—” she started.
“River, I’m so fucking sorry,” Ryker said at the same time, shooting to his feet.
Sorrow and regret were painted on his face, and her heart cracked in her chest. If she hadn’t already decided to talk to her brother, the way he looked—like he was a moment away from shattering—would’ve solidified it for her.
“I know,” she said.
Ryker was fae, so he couldn’t lie, but even if he could, the truth was reflected in the way he watched her.
“We didn’t… I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said. “I swear, I was just trying to protect you.”
River had already reached this conclusion during her therapy session with Eliza Fern, but it felt good to hear her brother say it out loud. Even so, it didn’t soothe the ache in her heart.
It was strange, because while River was well-versed in how to heal physical ailments, most of her problems seemed to originate in her heart.
Hearts, it turned out, required much different care than the rest of one’s body. They were fragile. Delicate, like flower blossoms in the early spring. Easy to destroy but nearly impossible to put back together once they’ve been broken.
“Will you forgive me?” Ryker asked tentatively.
As if he wasn’t sure what she’d say.
As if he didn’t know that fighting with him was hurting River nearly as much as the emptiness inside her.
As if he thought there was a chance she’d say no.
At that moment, no one in the room seemed amused. Even Atlas’s face had turned serious, his green gaze trained on them.
River’s bottom lip wobbled, and she moved towards her brother. She wrapped her arms around Ryker and hugged him tight.
“Yes, of course.” She pressed her head against her brother’s chest, his familiar scent seeping into her. “My feelings are hurt, but I forgive you.”
Ryker thanked her, his voice muffled as he held her close. When they pulled back, River regarded him, the corner of her lip twitching up.
“Besides, I suppose now we’re even.”
Ryker quirked a brow. “Even?”
River glanced at Nikhail. “Yes, well…” She gnawed on her bottom lip. “You’re not the only one who has been keeping secrets. Why don’t we sit down, and Nik and I can tell you more about… us.” She glanced at her air fae. “That is, if you have time. I’m not sure when you need to be back at work—”
“I’m off today.” Nikhail beamed. “Unless something major comes up, I’ll be here all day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m all yours.”
Hers.
She really liked the sound of that.
Ryker groaned. “I can already tell I’m going to need coffee for this conversation.”
Pushing off from the wall, Atlas laughed. “No worries, Ryker. I’ve got you covered.”
Disappearing into the kitchen for a moment, the earth fae returned with a large steaming mug and handed it to Ryker.
“Let me know if you need something stronger, and I’ll see what I can scrounge up. I’m sure this is a lot to take in at once.”
“It is,” Ryker said, studying the professor. “Yet you don’t seem surprised.”
Atlas grinned. “I’m not.”
“Why aren’t you?”
“I figured it out on my own.” Atlas tapped his index finger against his temple. “Using this.” He touched the corner of his eye. “And these.”
“You mean—”
“They weren’t the most discreet,” Atlas said.
River scoffed, and the earth fae looked over his shoulder and smirked. “You know you weren’t.” To Ryker, he said, “It was obvious to me. Nikhail looks at River like she personally hung the moon and every star in the sky. He has for years.”
“Atlas,” Nikhail spluttered, his face turning beet red.
River hadn’t even known Nikhail was capable of blushing.
Were there any situations in which this man wasn’t attractive?
“It’s true.” Atlas settled onto the piano bench. “You might’ve noticed years ago if you’d removed your blinders, Ryker.”
“Yes, well. I didn’t,” Ryker grumbled, retaking his seat on the couch. “I’ve been a bit busy.”
And just like that, River was the only one left standing.
A week ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated before taking the seat next to her brother. Now, though…
She glanced between Nikhail and Ryker, a long moment passing before she decided.
No one spoke as River made her way over to her seat and lowered herself.
She sat on the edge of the armchair, settling in between Nikhail’s spread legs.
He wrapped an arm around her and drew her close, her back against his chest.
“Good choice,” he breathed in her ear.
Warmth curled in her core.
Across the room, Ryker’s jaw tensed. “So, River. You and Nikhail are… together?” His voice sounded strained, but to his credit, it was level.
“Yes,” she said.
“Has he been good to you?”
Of course, that was Ryker’s first question. Even now, her brother was looking after her.
“Yes, Ryker.” River placed her hand on Nikhail’s knee, and his fingers covered hers a moment later. “He’s been very good to me.”
“Good,” Ryker said. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Her brother’s voice was rough, but it was obvious that he was making an effort. That meant something to River.
“Me, too.” She squeezed Nikhail’s knee. “I suppose things really started for us in Lakewater. I needed help, and he was there for me…”
The story unravelled from there.
River and Nikhail took turns talking, jumping in at natural lulls and explaining how they’d gone from being friends to… this. Whatever it was.
Ryker listened intently. He interjected a few times, asking follow-up questions for clarification, but he no longer seemed angry. Resigned was more like it.
That was a step in the right direction, or so River thought.
“You truly care for her?” Ryker leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
Nikhail laced his fingers through River’s. “With my whole heart. I meant what I said the other day. I won’t hurt her.”
There was another long pause as Ryker studied them. He groaned, raking a hand through his hair. Then, he dipped his chin.
The nearly imperceptible movement sent a wave of relief coursing through River.
“Okay,” Ryker ground out. “Not that you really need it, but you have my… blessing.”
He sounded like he’d rather chew glass than say the words, but still, he said them. River had never been happier about a fae’s inability to lie than she was right now.
River’s heart swelled. She leapt to her feet, crossed the room, and launched herself in the air. Ryker stood and caught her in a bone-crushing hug.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She clung to him. “That means more to me than you could ever know.”
Already, River felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
It’s not that she needed Ryker’s blessing—after all, they didn’t live in the old fae courts, where women were traded like property, controlled by their fathers or brothers—but she wanted it.
After that, the air lightened.
River got her much-needed cup of coffee before retaking her seat beside Nikhail, and the conversation shifted as the others chatted about work. River listened, amused, as Atlas shared about an incident in his biology class last week.
One of his students, an Earth Elf, had apparently made quite a mess of things, trying to draw forth their magic.
Vines and roots overtook the classroom, turning over tables and knocking over safety equipment, glassware, and several expensive pieces of equipment.
It took most of the week to return the classroom to normal.