Chapter 24
James wakes up wrapped in his duvet, rolled into it like a burrito to preserve warmth. It’s not cold on The Adventurer, but he wasn’t able to get fully warm after yesterday. His morning shower helps preserve the warmth a little, clinging to his skin while he gets dressed for the day.
As he zips up his jeans and ruffles his hair into something a bit more presentable, the door to the cabin slides open and Gabriel comes shuffling in. The steam of the twin cups that are settled on the tray is inviting and acts like a beacon, calling him to pluck one from its resting place.
“What’ve you got planned for today?” asks Gabriel while he places the tray on the table.
James perks up, cradling the cup close. He makes a grab for one of the mugs and sits down in the armchair.
There’s an open packet of biscuits laying on the table, from which he grabs two.
It’s something for breakfast, he supposes.
“Not much really. Thought I could go see the reindeer again, see the Polar Museum. And try again for the lights.”
Gabriel sits down in the chair on the other side of the table.
James nudges the biscuit packet in his direction.
As Gabriel reaches out to take one, the corners of James’ lips twist upward.
He takes a sip of his tea, which is perfectly brewed as usual, and waits for Gabriel to finish chewing. “Mind if I tag along?”
“Not at all. You know that.”
It takes another hour before they’re finally ready and able to leave the train.
Once again dressed in an unfathomable amount of layers and sunglasses to protect their eyes from the reflection the light creates on the snow.
They walk along the path toward town in comfortable silence, something he values most. There’s nothing more trusting and worthwhile than being able to be around someone in silence, and not have the feeling you need to break it.
Gabriel’s been the only one in a long time that James has found that comfort with. There isn’t a day that he takes it for granted.
When Gabriel breaks the silence, it’s with a gentle platitude. “I’m sorry about the lights yesterday.”
James smiles sadly. “Me too. At least we’ve got another chance tonight.
” He was pleased to read about it in The Adventurer’s schedule; two nights in Troms?, to heighten the chance of seeing the Aurora Borealis.
The train leaves for another twenty-four hours of travel toward Stockholm, where it will be arriving early in the morning on the nineteenth.
During the journey it will pass Trollveggen and Oslo, but won’t make any stops. The itinerary said something about time restraints and planning. It doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s a shame that Oslo isn’t on the itinerary.
“Yeah,” Gabriel looks hesitant, “let’s hope for clear skies.” James couldn’t agree more. But as his eyes fall on the clouds looming over the horizon, he figures out why Gabriel’s eyes are forlorn.
He’s happy to walk into the Polar Museum, to take his mind off what’s going on outside, to not let himself linger on the possibility that this trip to the artic might actually be without the Aurora Borealis.
It might not be the most luxurious building he’s stepped foot in during the trip.
But it’s certainly the most personal. Each exhibit feels and looks taken care of, like it’s treasured.
Every showcase and every glass panel tells a story of a people that live life according to their own rules, norms and heritage.
Individuality, identity and pride seep into every word he reads across the plaques.
Reading about the history, learning about the importance of seal hunting and seeing early pieces of tapestry and clothing.
In a way, seeing it like this feels a lot more educational and real, than when coming across pieces from this part of the world in other museums. Even Gabriel is intrigued trudging along at James’ side as he makes his way from exhibit to exhibit.
It’s eye opening and impactful to read about it all.
Just like visiting the cathedrals brings a certain heaviness of history and importance with it.
Each city and town they visit, they’re part of the real world, with real people and endless histories to explore.
James thinks that he’ll never be done learning. He isn’t even sure if he wants to.
Hours later, when they’re back in the town’s center, James confesses he booked a snowmobiling excursion. The group that’s gathered a little further down the street is waiting for them to join.
Gabriel’s eyebrows furrow, eyes confused. “Why? You hate things like that.”
“Well, yes,” James says, rubbing the back of his neck with his gloved hand. He looks away. “It’s not for me.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows rise above the sunglasses, the confusion clear in the motion. “…what?”
James shrugs. “It’s for you. Didn’t know you were joining me yesterday, figured the real thing was more your speed.”
“And what we did yesterday wasn’t the real thing?” Gabriel’s eyebrows rise again.
“Well-”
Gabriel crosses his arms with a defiant look on his face. “I’ll have you know that it was one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.”
“And I’m glad it was.” James smiles shyly. “Just like I’m glad that you managed to convince me to give it a try as well.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” Gabriel’s demeanor softens, shoulders sagging a little. There’s a little grin on his lips as he admits, “Besides, I knew you would enjoy it.”
“You did, did you?” James teases.
The nod Gabriel gives is resolute. “Just need to get out of your head a little.”
James will never be able to say how much it means that Gabriel seems to know exactly how to do that. Realization about Gabriel’s real motives dawn on him as the smirk on his friend’s lips grows more profound. “Oh hell no. I’m not getting on that snowmobile with you.”
“You did it yesterday, with the guide.”
“Exactly, with the guide. Who’s certified and trained in handling the machinery.”
This time, Gabriel huffs out an indignant breath. His arms come up and across his body as best as he’s able to manage with the thickness of the sleeves. James is desperate to hide his smile at the clumsy display in front of him. “So you don’t trust me?”
“With everything, except heavy machinery.” He prays to everything he doesn’t believe in that the fondness in his eyes isn’t as noticeable as he thinks it is. “I’ll be with the animals, having a good time.”
“But-”
“No, Gabriel. I know you’ll enjoy it.” He gives Gabriel a little nudge toward the group. “I’ll be back on one of them later today.” It’s the end of the discussion, shortly after they’re joined by the last remaining members of the group and set off to the edge of town.
There, James spends a better part of two hours keeping a close eye on Gabriel, who despite his hatred toward the cold is seemingly having a great time doing laps across the snow-covered landscape.
The only thing that’s putting a damper on the afternoon is the darkening sky above him. And according to the guide it’s not due to the setting of the weak winter sun. For the second time a heavy set of clouds seems to put a stop to the visibility of the Aurora Borealis.
*
“Come on, the group’s waiting for us.” Gabriel tries to get him to get up from his seat in the restaurant. The emptier carriage speaks for itself for the most part.
“You heard the guide this afternoon. The probability is minimal,” replies James, bitterly.
“But never zero, so come on. I’m not letting you miss this.”
The heavy feeling that’s been present in James’ stomach since last night has only been growing.
Right now it’s like lead, weighing him down and wanting to keep him here.
He figures if he doesn’t leave the train, closes the curtains in their cabin and just goes to sleep, he can pretend that he hasn’t missed anything.
Sort of like Schrodinger’s box. He can’t be disappointed if he missed the lights because he slept through them, but he will be disappointed if he makes the trip out to the mountains and gets let down a second time.
“I’m not going without you. And I’m not letting you miss this.” Gabriel’s words sound like a final argument as he grabs James’ elbow and nudges him up on his feet. With great reluctance and plenty of spluttering, James gets shoved into his coat and to the door of the restaurant.
Outside they’re greeted by a smaller group of people than the one that accompanied them last night. To his dismay, Paul and Riley are again lingering among them. Even with the ruckus of the others, he hears Paul snark, “He kept everyone waiting. Always so uncaring about other people.”
James flushes and ducks into himself, lingering at the back of the group when they’re sorted onto different snowmobiles.
It’s hard to blink back tears when it’s this cold, but as some fall out of the corner of his eyes, he can always blame it on the biting cold air that whips around his head.
The anxiousness of the last few days is fraying his nerves, draining him of his energy.
Their arrival at the darkness covered view spot doesn’t lift the feeling at all. In fact, looking at the empty canvas of the night sky spreading across the horizon only makes it worse. He knows there’s nothing to blame other than the weather, but it doesn’t make the disappointment any less real.