Chapter 14 #2
“Thank you. For everything.” He kisses the back of my hand again and I huff out a laugh, shaking my head before I walk towards the door.
I stop just before stepping through and turn back to him.
This is a terribly stupid idea, but the need is so demanding inside my mind that I know I can’t fight it.
I don’t really want to fight it, if I’m being honest with myself. I take a quick, settling breath.
“Thea,” I say, so softly I worry that he can’t hear me, but he blinks in surprise and I know he’s heard it.
The word that I haven’t been able to say in almost six weeks now.
The word that could be my downfall. The word I need someone else in this world to hear, in case things go badly, despite Ryker’s promise that everything will turn out ok.
I wait, wondering if I’ve made a terrible mistake, but then the king’s lips curl upward in a soft, genial smile.
“It is lovely to meet you, Thea,” he says quietly, inclining his head. I nod in return and leave, my heart thundering in my chest and my soul filled with joy—and hope.
-There is a bird following us,- Soren grumbles, icy blue eyes narrowed at the sky as we begin the slow, painstaking trip away from Tithmoore.
-His name is Alexi. He’s a gift from Ryker.-
-I’m aware of his name. He is very pompous. I’m going to eat him.-
“You will do no such thing,” I tell the cat, narrowing my eyes at him from atop Zaro.
-I make no promises.- He does a half-chuff, half-growl of annoyance and streaks off ahead of us, fading from view completely in the snow almost immediately.
“He really is terrifyingly good at disappearing,” Killian notes, riding up beside me in Soren’s wake. I huff out a laugh.
“That he is.”
I glance at him. We haven’t had much interaction over the last week since leaving Tithmoore, always seeming to be pulled in opposite directions, but every time our eyes meet, that connection snaps between us the same as it did that night after our dinner with Ryker.
My pulse starts racing now, my fingers itching to make their way over his body, to learn every inch of him, trace every tattoo, memorize each dip and hollow.
His gaze drifts to my lips and he wets his own, the sight sending a jolt through my core and making my toes curl.
He clears his throat and pulls his gaze away.
I know it’s madness to want him. I’m his king’s prisoner.
I’m a bargaining chip at best, and a new member of his collection to be tortured and used at worst. There’s no future in which Killian and I can be together, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it.
For the first time in my life, I want it so badly I could scream.
“How long do we have?” I ask. I mean to ask how long the journey will be, but he seems to understand my true meaning: how long do we have before all of this is gone, before our time together comes to an end.
“A few weeks.” His jaw clenches and I nod.
“Alright then.”
He leans in towards me and adds quietly, “It would go faster if you wished to use your Gift to rid us of this snow…but it’s quite a shame that the bastard leader of this army continues to block you.” He flashes that crooked smirk and I try and fail to hide my answering smile.
“Such a shame. He truly is a bastard. Weeks it is then,” I say, mockingly resigned. He huffs out a laugh and then I ask the question that’s been burning in the back of my mind. “What did you mean when you asked me what they did to me? Who is they? And what would they have done?”
His amusement vanishes then and he studies me for what feels like hours. What he’s trying to find, I have no idea, but whatever this is about, I know it’s very important to him.
“You truly have no idea?” he finally asks, still that edge of incredulity to his voice. I shake my head and shrug, and he exhales. “Come to my tent tonight after dinner and we can discuss it.”
I blink but nod. “Alright.”
His gaze roves over my body and he looks like he wants to say more, perhaps something about clothing being optional at this meeting, but he only gives me a sharp nod and rides off.
I let out a long, slow breath, the air coming out in a puffy white cloud in front of me.
How much colder will it be as we move farther into the true northlands?
I wonder what Duskthorne will be like as I follow the line of our group onward.
Not Dorian and the horrors to be found, but the kingdom itself.
I’ve heard that it’s surrounded completely by a ring of mountains, the only passage is carved directly through the stone, miles and miles of it.
Dorian’s palace is built directly into the side of the highest peak overlooking the entire kingdom, the famed Duskthorne forge and their great temple on the peaks on either side.
It’s hard to imagine, but I’ll admit it sounds like it could be magnificent to behold.
I try not to think about what the dungeons within might be like, the cages where the Gifteds are kept.
Now that I’ve been bonded with Soren, I don’t believe I’ll be used or abused like the others—Killian spoke of familiars as things to be revered and honored and respected.
I can only hope that his king believes the same.
If he doesn’t…well, I’d like to see them try to cage me or Soren.
Though I’m still uneasy about what’s to come, I no longer fear Dorian the way I once did.
My power is far stronger with Soren by my side, and he is stronger than any normal frost cat now.
The two of us could cut quite a path of blood and carnage through Duskthorne should we need to.
-With pleasure, should they try to touch you,- the cat purrs menacingly in my mind.
-Same, should anyone try to touch you.-
The thought of Soren being hurt or threatened makes my Gift roil inside me, ice spearing through my veins.
I see Killian up ahead tilt his head and turn back to look at me over his shoulder.
He must have felt the surge. He purses his lips but turns away again quickly to speak to one of the men on his right.
-But you needn’t fear anything in Duskthorne.-
I snort. -Just because I don’t think we’ll be caged or tortured doesn’t mean there’s nothing to fear.-
This plan could still go terribly wrong.
-One day you will learn that I am always right, Thea.-
-And so humble too.-
He laughs lightly in my mind and then fades away from the pathway between us.
We ride a few hours more before making camp for the night.
Murmurs ripple through the camp about why I still refuse to help, or why Blackheart refuses to let me help, depending on who you’re talking to, but I don’t have a good answer, so I don’t respond to any of them.
“Come on,” Kendall begs as we huddle around a fire. “Can’t you just show us a tiny little flame? Just one spark?”
I shake my head as Jonathan slaps Kendall in the back of his head—his favorite pastime, it seems. I’d be surprised if Kendall doesn’t have a permanent bruise there.
“She’s blocked, you idiot. She can’t do anything with the likes of Blackheart holding her power back. He’s one of the most powerful Gifteds in all of history.”
“But she’s bonded now, I bet she’s even stronger than he is. Have you tried to push past him?”
“I can’t,” I say, though it’s not complete truth.
I think I could push past him, if I really tried.
Or perhaps it’s more that he’d let me. I can’t be sure, really, without outright asking him, which of course I won’t do.
He still seems to believe that my power—Tesni’s power—has waned over the years from so much use.
It’s possible, I suppose. Gifts like ours are rare, so it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that they could fade over time more than typical Gifts that aren’t as strong.
I shake the thoughts away. There’s entirely too much that I don’t know about myself, my people.
Perhaps I’d know more if I hadn’t been in hiding all this time, but I think the more likely answer is that Gifteds aren't able to speak freely out of fear of being enslaved. Of course we don’t have much knowledge of each other, of how our power truly works, our lifespans or how our Gifts might age with us.
“Well, it would come in bloody handy right about now,” Lucinda grumbles. “I haven’t missed the winter, and my mam says that the ancient texts claim this is going to be one of the worst ones in history. This war may be put on hold if no one can make it out of Duskthorne after the first snow.”
“Can that truly happen?” I ask. “I mean, do you really get stranded there?” I hadn’t really thought about it, but it makes sense if there really is only one passageway in and out of the kingdom.
“It’s happened once or twice in the past, though we have everything we need there,” Odessa tells me, leaning into Tristan’s side as he puts an arm around her.
I haven’t outright asked, but the two of them are most definitely together.
They share these tender moments and I’ve seen her sneaking in or out of his tent a time or two when Mia is asleep or otherwise occupied.
“But…if I’m to be ransomed and returned…”
Odessa’s face falls slightly, as if she’d forgotten that I’m not meant to stay with them forever. She clears her throat lightly.
“We have months before true winter arrives. I’m sure they will negotiate your price and you’ll be returned safely to Barony and his friends before then, not to worry.”