Chapter 5
five
. . .
CADE
The bonfire was already roaring by the time I pulled into the gravel lot at Bayside Park. Orange flames licked at the darkening sky, casting dancing shadows across the crowd. The air smelled like woodsmoke and roasting marshmallows, cut through with the sharp, briny bite of the icy bay beyond.
Long folding tables lined the perimeter of the clearing, sagging under the weight of canned and dry goods, winter coats, and bags of donated clothes. Kids ran in circles screeching, while adults huddled in clusters, red Solo cups in hand, and their breath fogging in the frigid air.
I scanned the crowd, spotting Colin almost immediately, standing near the makeshift stage with a beer in one hand and his phone in the other. He looked up as I approached and grinned.
“There you are.” He slapped me on the back hard enough to make me stumble forward a step. “Was worried you might bail.”
“And miss this? Nah.” I grabbed a beer from the cooler at his feet and cracked it open, taking a long pull.
“Liar. You hate wholesome, fun-for-the-whole-family shit like this.”
“Yeah, well.” I shrugged, letting my gaze drift across the crowd, searching for a particular leather jacket and dark hair. “Good cause.”
Colin studied me for a second, his eyes narrowing slightly, but then Zach Hammond, the new lead singer of his band, called his name from a few feet away, and Colin’s entire body language shifted.
His shoulders straightened, and his head whipped around. When he spotted Zach by the generators, gesturing for Colin to join him, my best friend’s face lit up like someone had plugged him directly into the fucking power grid.
“Be right back,” he said, already moving toward Zach before I could even respond.
There was something almost magnetic about the way he crossed the clearing, like Zach had his own gravitational pull and Colin couldn’t help but go to him.
I’d been noticing for weeks now how Colin found reasons to bring up Zach in conversation. The way he’d check his phone constantly, waiting for Zach’s texts. The way he got this stupid, goofy grin whenever Zach complimented his bass playing.
Colin thought Zach was just a really cool guy. An awesome new addition to the band. Someone he wanted to hang out with all the time.
I thought it was definitely more than that.
But like I’d told Stella last night, that was Colin’s journey to figure out. It wasn’t my place to say anything until he was ready to see it himself.
I took another sip of beer and went back to scanning the crowd for Stella.
Ah, there she is. The tension I’d been carrying in my shoulders released all at once, and I let out a breath that turned misty in front of my face.
She stood on the far side of the bonfire, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her jacket, talking to Holly and Harrison.
The firelight danced over the apples of her cheeks, turning her dark burgundy lipstick almost black.
She laughed at something Harrison said, her head tipping back, and even from here I could see the way her eyes crinkled at the corners.
God, she was beautiful.
And I wasn’t supposed to be staring at her like I wanted to drag her into the woods and—
Her gaze cut across the field and landed on me.
For a second, neither of us moved. The noise of the crowd noise faded into static.
Stella’s lips parted slightly, and I watched her tongue dart out to wet them before she looked away, her hand coming up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
Her cheeks flushed darker, and even as she turned back to Holly, pretending to focus on whatever story was being told, Stella’s eyes slid back to me just long enough for me to catch it.
I took another sip of beer and forced myself to turn around.
Fuck. This whole pretending thing was going to be way harder than I thought.
If Zach was Colin’s gravitational pull, then Stella was mine—had been for years, if I was being honest. The difference was that I knew exactly what that pull meant.
And I wanted desperately to close the distance between us and make it clear to everyone here exactly who she was going home with tonight.
Instead, I forced myself to play it cool.
Or at least I tried to.
I talked to Charlie Emerson about the declining lobster population in the Gulf of Maine and how global warming was impacting our fisheries.
I helped Jemma Price—soon-to-be Jemma Emerson—carry a box of donations from her car.
I even let Mrs. Patterson from the post office tell me a twenty-minute story about her grandson’s tuba recital.
But the whole time, I was fully aware of exactly where Stella was at all times.
When she moved to stand in line at one of the food trucks, I tracked her out of the corner of my eye.
Someone made her laugh, and my jaw tightened.
Then Jemma’s brother Jeremy leaned in close to say something in her ear, and I had to physically stop myself from crossing the clearing and reminding him that he had a whole-ass boyfriend standing three feet away.
I clenched my jaw and forced myself to look away, focusing instead on the bonfire until the flames blurred in my vision.
From seemingly out of nowhere, Colin appeared at my elbow. “Dude, why are you staring at my sister?”
I blinked and turned to face him, the beer I’d been nursing all night halfway to my mouth. “What?”
“Stella.” He gestured across the fire with his bottle. “You’ve been staring at her for like five minutes straight. It’s kind of creepy, man.”
“I wasn’t—”
“And she keeps looking over here, too.” His brow furrowed, confusion replacing his usual easy grin.
“Is this because of what happened yesterday? Because I’m really sorry about that.
I didn’t mean to make things weird by bringing up the whole crush thing.
I know she was pissed, and if you guys are awkward now, that’s my bad—”
“Colin—”
“I just thought she already knew, you know? But clearly she didn’t, and now everything’s weird between you two, and I feel like shit about it—”
“Colin,” I said again, but my eyes had already drifted back across the fire to where Stella stood.
She’d turned away from Holly and Harrison, her attention fixed on me. Even from here, I could see the slight curve of her lips, the way her eyes softened when our gazes met. She lifted her beer in a small, private toast meant just for me, and something warm unfurled in my chest.
I couldn’t help it. I smiled back.
“—and I know I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but you know how I get, and—” Colin stopped mid-ramble. “Wait. Are you smiling?”
“What?” I shook myself out of my Stella-induced stupor and turned back to my best friend.
“You’re smiling.” Colin looked at me, then back at Stella, then at me again. His eyes went wide. “And you’re not doing the murder-face thing anymore. You’re doing that stupid puppy-dog thing you do when—” He sucked in a sharp breath. “Oh my god.”
“Colin—”
“Oh my god!” he blurted, his voice going up an octave. “It’s Stella. She’s your mystery woman, isn’t she?”
My pulse kicked up, heat that had nothing to do with the nearby flames crawling up the back of my neck. Of course. Of fucking course I couldn’t make it one damn day without giving us away.
I glanced across the fire to where Stella stood, still watching us. Was she going to be pissed? We’d agreed to keep this quiet, and here I was, less than an hour in, getting read like a goddamn picture book by her brother. “Keep your voice down.”
“Holy shit!” He laughed, loud enough that a couple of people nearby glanced over, and grabbed my arm, nearly making me spill my beer. “You’re sleeping with my sister!”
“Colin, I swear to god …”
“This is amazing!” His free hand came up to grip my shoulder, shaking me slightly. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened.”
I glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention to Colin’s outburst, but most people were focused on the bonfire or their own conversations. Except for Stella. She was watching us, one dark eyebrow raised, her expression a mix of resignation and amusement.
She knew.
Of course, she knew. Hard to miss her brother losing his damn mind.
“When did this start?” Colin demanded, still gripping my arm.
“Keep your voice down,” I hissed, peeling his hand off and dragging him away from the crowd, toward the darker edge of the clearing where the firelight barely reached.
“How long?” he asked again, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an overexcited golden retriever.
“A few days,” I admitted.
“A few days?” His mouth fell open. “That’s it?”
“Yeah.”
“But you’ve been into her for, like, ever.”
I bit back the urge to point out that Colin had supposedly been into Cassidy “for, like, ever”, and she barely knew he existed. Except I didn’t actually believe Colin was into the kindergarten teacher, and comparing his situation to what I felt for Stella seemed like sacrilege.
Colin dragged a hand through his hair, his expression somewhere between delighted and dazed. “So what happened? How did this even start? I need details, man. Tell me everything.”
“Ew. That’s your sister. No way am I giving you details.”
Just then, Stella appeared at my side, her arms crossed over her chest. “What details?”
Colin’s hand shot out, pointing at her, then at me, then back at her in quick succession. “Details about how you guys got together. Like, together together.”
Stella’s jaw tightened, and for a second, I thought she was going to deny it.
My chest constricted, something sharp lodging itself between my ribs at the thought.
“Yeah.” She stepped closer, tucking herself against my side and resting her cheek against my bicep. “Murphy’s my guy.”
Hearing her say it out loud—claiming me like that, her body pressed unmistakably against mine—short-circuited something in my brain.
Last night, she’d admitted to having feelings for me. But admitting it to her brother?
That was different.
That was real.
That was her choosing me, publicly, without hesitation.