Chapter 21
LUCAS
I’ve changed my shirt three times, like I’m seventeen again and trying to impress Holiday Patterson before taking her to the county fair.
Except now, I’m thirty-four and should know better than to care this much.
Clothes have never impressed her, but I can’t help but notice how her eyes slide over me when we’re together.
I settle on a black button-up and jeans. It’s casual and cool, like I’m not trying too hard, even though I absolutely am.
At five forty-five, I look up at the clock, almost nervous about tonight.
The last time we were alone, she confessed she came back to Merryville for me, and I admitted that I never stopped having feelings for her.
We both said things we can’t unsay, and I have to pretend like it didn’t happen.
But I know the truth and I’m fucking shook.
Headlights sweep across my front window, and my pulse gallops in my chest. I watch as she parks next to my truck and takes a few extra seconds to study her as she pulls her visor down to check herself.
Her hair is down in soft waves, and she’s wearing deep red lipstick that makes my mouth go dry.
She’s still in that dark green turtleneck she wore to the bakery this morning.
Holiday eventually gets out of her car, and I meet her at the door before she can knock.
“Hi,” she says, and when she smiles at me this time, it actually touches her eyes. It gives me butterflies.
“On time, per usual.” I grab my jacket, then pull the door closed as I walk out with her. “Ready?”
“Where are we going, exactly?”
“It’s a surprise.”
She narrows her eyes. “I told you, I hate surprises.”
“Yeah, yeah. Come on,” I say with a laugh, placing my hand on her shoulder as I lead her to my truck.
I open the door for her and she climbs in.
I catch the hint of her perfume, the same one she’s been wearing since high school.
The one that used to linger on my clothes after I’d sneak into her bedroom and hold her when she couldn’t sleep.
I close the door and walk around to my side, taking a second to get my shit together as her eyes follow me. Being alone with her feels like a dream. And if it is, fuck, I don’t want to wake up.
I start the engine and pull out of the driveway. The radio is already on the local station that’s been playing nothing but Christmas music since November first.
“So,” Holiday says as we turn onto the country road that leads to Merryville. “We’re going into town?”
“I thought we’d look at Christmas lights.”
“Like we used to.” She glances over at me with appreciation. “That sounds perfect.”
We drive down Main Street, and it’s like the whole place has been dipped in red and white twinkling lights.
Every storefront is already decorated, shining in the darkness—it’s city code, required by the Monday before Thanksgiving.
Garland and red ribbons wrap around light posts with big wreaths on every door.
Glenda’s Diner has the windows painted with snowmen and a Santa that looks just like my dad. It’s packed inside.
“Wow,” Holiday says. “It’s better than I remember.”
“It’s legendary.”
She laughs and the sound fills the truck. I realize I’m at ease in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
Her hand rests on her thigh, and I’m mildly aware of how easy it would be to reach over and lace our fingers together. But I keep my hands to myself.
We drive past the square where the festival is being set up.
It kicks off this weekend, and once it does, downtown will be impossible to enjoy.
Tourists and vehicles will line the streets and sidewalks; that’s why I wanted to do this now.
This year’s theme is Winter Wonderland, and a Christmas village has been constructed to give the full North Pole experience.
“It’s beautiful,” Holiday says, staring out the window.
“I agree,” I say, but I’m not talking about the town. She’s breathtaking, without even trying.
I take the long way through the residential neighborhoods, starting with Candy Cane Lane. Some houses have simple white lights strung along the roofline. Others look like Christmas threw up on them with every color imaginable and enough wattage to power a small city. But every home is decorated.
We turn onto South Pole Street, and when we reach the end, Holiday gasps. The mayor’s house is covered in lights with a motion-sensor twerking Santa, reindeer, snowmen, penguins, and what appears to be a disco ball, spinning along with a stripper pole in the front yard.
I reach forward and turn the stereo to the AM station listed on the sign. We watch the lights dance and Santa pop his ass to Cardi B’s “WAP.”
Her mouth falls open, but she’s giggling. “I cannot believe the mayor did this. I love it.”
“Thought you would.”
She’s entranced by the light show, but I can’t stop watching her and how the colorful lights splash across her face. The song ends, and cars pull up behind us, so we drive away.
“Thank you for this.” Her fingers brush my forearm, leaving heat in their wake.
“We’re just getting started,” I say.
We drive past our old elementary school, where candy canes line the fence. Even the little white church has lights on the steeple.
Five minutes later, I’m taking the highway that leads to the overlook on the edge of Merryville. It’s just a small parking area where people go to fool around. It’s on a hill above the town, where all of Merryville can be seen spread out down below, twinkling and glowing.
We sit in comfortable silence, taking in the view, as the radio plays in the background.
“Some things don’t change,” I say. I’ve come up here every year since I could drive.
She looks at me, and there’s something dancing in her gaze. “Some things do.”
The moment sits between us, full of memory and meaning.
I suck in a deep breath, knowing I need to say what’s been on my mind all day. Because it’s the right thing to do.
“Holiday, I know you’re not going to like this, but I think we should take some space away from one another this week.”
She turns to look at me, eyebrows raised. “Why?”
I keep my voice soft. “Tomorrow and Wednesday, I’ll be with my dad, delivering trees until eight. Thanksgiving will be hectic with family, then getting ready for Black Friday and the chaos that comes with that. Not to mention, Jake and Claire’s wedding is Saturday.”
“So, you’re saying we’re too busy to see each other?” There’s an edge in her voice.
“There’s no rush.” I shift to face her better. “Three weeks ago, I wanted to keep my distance from you. Now we’re here.”
She studies me, then a cute smirk tugs at her lips. “Scared you’re falling for me, Jolly?”
The question catches me off guard. She’s not backing down. She’s calling me out.
“Excuse the fuck outta me, but I’m being smart about this.”
“That’s not an answer.” Her smile grows.
“Holiday—”
“What about our baking sessions?” She tilts her head, all innocent. “The contest is in two and a half weeks.”
I can’t help it, but I sarcastically laugh. “Come on. You could bake those cookies in your sleep at this point. With your skills, we could compete tomorrow and win. The joy of having a perfectionist as a partner. I just need to show up.”
Her face flushes. “Ugh.”
I lick my lips. “You’re just looking for excuses to see me.”
“Maybe I want to make up for lost time.” She’s not embarrassed about it. “Is that so bad?”
“No. But that’s exactly why we need space.”
“Yeah, we’re not astronauts, Lucas.”
I chuckle, reaching over and taking her hand because I need her to understand this. “Look at me. You’ve spent over a decade with a man who controlled every aspect of your life. You need time to figure out who you are and what you want, without someone else constantly around.”
“I want you in my orbit.”
“But you still need to figure out what Holiday wants without someone else influencing you.” I squeeze her hand.
“That includes me. I don’t want you waking up in three months, realizing you rushed into something you weren’t ready for again.
” Silence draws on. “I can’t be yours for only a season again.
Do you understand?” I study her, memorizing the twinkle in her eyes.
“Okay.” She glances down at our joined hands, then sighs.
“We both need to think this through. Right now, we can walk away, stay friends, and move on with our lives. If we cross any more lines, that will be a lot harder,” I say. “I’m protecting us because you, while I adore it, are often like ‘consequences be damned.’”
She pulls her hand away from me and tucks her hair behind her ears. “Are you having doubts?”
“I’m taking everything into account,” I admit. “One day at a time.”
“I can respect that,” she says.
We both turn and look out at Merryville. “I could use some of Mawmaw’s eggnog right now.”
“Great idea for next time.” I chuckle, and she nods.
“Will you be at Jake and Claire’s wedding on Saturday?” I ask, realizing we haven’t discussed it yet.
“I’ll be there. Your brother invited me last week. Already RSVP’d with a plus-one,” she says.
My jaw tightens. “I think the fuck not.”
Her eyes light up with mischief. “I’m just messing with you.”
“You’re evil.” I shake my head.
She gives me a look that’s pure challenge. “I’ll be there—alone—trying not to stare at you.”
A smirk touches my lips. “There will be a lot of people there. It’s probably best if we keep things platonic. Last thing we need is more rumors spreading around, you know?”
She tilts her head. “More rumors?”
“Yeah, so about that,” I say, pulling my phone from my pocket and opening the browser window. “There are pictures of us on the internet.”
Holiday’s eyes widen as she scrolls through the articles written about me and her with pictures of my arm around her at the community center.
There are other pictures someone took of us inside the bakery, standing close and flirty.
There are a few pictures that someone plucked from my social media when we were teenagers.