A Very Miller-Cooper Life (Anyone But Her #4)

Chapter 1

Charlie

“Fuck my life.”

I broke into a fit of giggles as I watched my wife lay on the floor and stare blankly at the ceiling. The scene was humorous, but definitely not as funny as I was making it out to be. Lack of sleep would do that to you. I bounced the one baby that was still awake on my knee. Reagan had just spent the past hour getting the other two down, hence her current mood.

When I didn’t answer her, Reagan continued her curse filled rant. “Seriously, fuck this. We’re not having any more fucking kids.”

I covered Carter’s ears as if our three-month-old was somehow going to absorb Reagan’s words and shout the word fuck suddenly. If that actually happened, I wouldn’t be mad because it would be ridiculously impressive. I laughed out loud at my own thoughts, then finally responded to Reagan. “I’ve never heard you swear this much. Also, don’t we need one more? What about Disney?”

“Fuck Disney. Someone can sit alone. Hell, I’ll do it. I don’t care.”

I laughed once again. I was pretty sure the lack of sleep these past few months was getting to both of us. “Deal. Three sounds good to me.”

Reagan waved a finger in my direction. “How’s that going?”

I watched as Carter slowly blinked her eyes, the eyes staying closed longer with each blink. “I think she’s finally falling asleep,” I whispered just loud enough for Reagan to hear. The last thing I needed was for my voice to snap her awake.

“Thank the fucking Lord.” Reagan let out an exaggerated yawn and rubbed her eyes. “With the way Carter was thrashing around in her crib, I didn’t think she would ever fall asleep.”

I blinked my eyes a few times as I stared down at the baby in my arms, wondering if I was losing my mind. When those soft hazel eyes looked up at me, I knew I wasn’t. Our daughters, Carter and Olivia, might be identical, but as their mom, I could still tell them apart. Apparently, the same couldn’t be said for their other mom. “You do realize it was Olivia that you just spent the past two hours getting to sleep, right?” I asked with a laugh.

Reagan shot up into a seated position and furrowed her eyebrows at me. “Bullshit. I know my own daughters.”

“Clearly you don’t,” I said with a giggle while pointing down at the baby who was now sound asleep in my arms. “Because this is most definitely Carter.”

“How can you tell?” Reagan stood up and walked over to me, looking down at our daughter in wonder.

I smiled up at her and whispered, “It’s all in the eyes.”

Reagan softly scoffed. “They literally have the exact same eyes.”

She wasn’t wrong about that. They had the exact same everything. Before getting pregnant I had no idea it was possible to have an identical pair of children and a third who is fraternal, but apparently it is. The odds are about one in a million, but of course, if something like that could happen, it would totally happen to me and Reagan. “They have the same color eyes. Carter’s are softer, while Olivia’s have a fire behind them.”

“Of course they do. We should have known when we named a child after Nana that they had no chance of being chill.”

“You should have realized as soon as she was thrashing around in the crib that it was Olivia and not Carter.”

Our daughters might look exactly alike, but their personalities were already completely opposite. Carter was content as long as she was snuggled up in someone’s arms (which made it hard to ever lay her down in the crib), and Olivia was never content. She would go wild until she had no energy left and no choice but to pass out. I already had no question that she was going to be our troublemaker.

Reagan nodded slowly as if she was considering what I just said. “That’s true. It did seem out of character, but I’m so fucking exhausted, the fact that I might not have the child I thought I did never crossed my mind. Olivia is laying in Carter’s crib by the way. There’s no way I’m moving her now.”

I waved my hand. “I’m too tired to deal with this one waking up as soon as I lay her down, so I think I’ll just let her sleep in my arms for a while anyway.”

Reagan yawned once again as she sat down next to me on the couch. “Seriously though. I’m so exhausted. How the fuck am I going to make myself look human for Jamie’s wedding in three weeks?”

I looked at my wife who clearly had the exhaustion written all over her face with the deep bags under her eyes and the wrinkles on her forehead that seemed to have become a permanent fixture, but she was still the most gorgeous woman in the world to me. Hell, she was even more gorgeous now. She was exhausted from raising our children. This was our little family, and although the last three months had been completely insane, I couldn’t help but smile about that fact.

I patted Reagan’s arm. “You’re going to look absolutely breathtaking, my dear. I have no doubt about that.”

A smirk spread across Reagan’s face as she carefully leaned closer to me so our lips were just inches apart. “So, what you’re saying is you still think I’m hot, huh?”

I licked my lips as I stared at hers, heat rising in my belly at the thought of things we hadn’t done in much too long. “I think you’re very hot.”

Reagan leaned a little bit closer, but instead of kissing me, her eyes moved to the baby I had almost forgotten was sleeping in my arms. “Think we can get her into Olivia’s crib so we can have some special mommy time?”

There’s nothing I want more. “I’m certainly willing to try.”

“Perfect.” Reagan hopped from the couch as if it was on fire, while I stood much more slowly to be careful not to wake Carter.

We made it to the bedroom that was currently shared by the triplets without any issues, and I smiled when I put Carter down and she didn’t make one peep. Reagan and I both tiptoed out of the room and she carefully shut the door behind us.

Not even a second after the door was latched, a wail erupted from the room.

Reagan cringed. “You don’t even have to tell me this time. I know that’s Olivia.”

A slightly deeper cry started as well, followed by a soft whimper. “And that would be Ronan and Carter,” I added. Shit. “Raincheck?”

Reagan groaned and hit her head against the door, then turned to smile over at me. “Who knows. Maybe we can find someone to pawn them off on for a few hours at the wedding.”

“We can only hope.”

***

“So, how are you feeling about all of this?” Reagan asked as she reached across the center console of the car to take my hand.

She didn’t have to say more, because I knew exactly what she was asking. Even though she wasn’t shouting about it from the rooftops (or even mentioning it to her friends), my mom was going to Jamie’s wedding. I was glad for my brother’s sake that she had somewhat learned from her past mistakes and wasn’t going to skip his wedding like she skipped mine, but it was still hard. Our wedding day had been perfect, and I honestly don’t know if it would have been with my mom there, but that didn’t stop it from hurting.

I looked into the back to make sure all three kids were actually asleep since there was no point in having a serious conversation if it was destined to be interrupted at any moment. I smiled when I saw all three of them fast asleep as if they were perfect little angels. I wish.

I let out a long sigh when I remembered Reagan’s question. It was such a loaded question, I didn’t even know where to start. “Honestly, I’m just trying to focus on the fact that my brother gets to marry the love of his life, because in the end, that’s what really matters.”

Reagan looked between me and the road a few times before gently squeezing my hand. “I completely understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I also hope you know that you don’t have to bullshit me. We’re obviously both over the moon for Jamie and Ethan, but that doesn’t mean the day comes without any hard feelings for you.”

“Yes, it hurts that my mom didn’t come to our wedding, and in some ways, even though I know it’s not the case it makes me feel like I wasn’t good enough. But the thing is—I loved absolutely everything about our wedding. Sure, Jamie’s suit kept coming unbuttoned and our allergy-ridden DJ sneezed through the whole reception because she chose our wedding day to try to impress the florist, but it was still perfect. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m envious of Jamie for having our mom at the wedding or extremely concerned for him. She ruined the beginning of our relationship and our engagement. I’d hate to see what kind of scene she would have made at our wedding.”

“That’s true.” Reagan chuckled softly. “Although, I wouldn’t say she ruined the beginning of our relationship or our engagement. Those are still two of my favorite memories.”

I laughed along with Reagan. This was why I loved this woman so much. She could find the good in literally everything and everyone. “Even though my whole family found out I had my hands down your pants and my mom basically unknowingly proposed for you?”

Reagan laughed even harder now. “Exactly. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s very us, and I love us.”

I brought Reagan’s hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “I love us, too. I honestly think I’m more nervous to spend a prolonged amount of time with my mom than I am salty over the fact that she’s going to Jamie’s wedding when she skipped mine.”

“That’s true. We have done a pretty good job of avoiding her these past few years, haven’t we?”

“I guess.”

Although, I wouldn’t exactly call it avoidance. After my mom skipped my wedding then showed up the next day to tell me she made a mistake, I decided the ball was in her court. She needed to be the one to put in the effort, not me. And while she had gotten better, she was still far from perfect, which meant our relationship was rocky at best. She came to visit for the weekend two weeks after the triplets were born, and she did a good job of acknowledging them as her grandchildren and a decent job of acknowledging both me and Reagan as their moms. She didn’t use the word mom when referring to Reagan, but she also didn’t deny the fact that she was, indeed, the mother of my children. Baby steps, I reminded myself. Although, most days it felt like our actual babies were growing much more quickly than she was.

“Has Jamie said anything else to you about how things are going with my dad?” I asked, desperate to change the subject to anything that wasn’t me and my mom.

“He hasn’t said much, which I’m guessing means it isn’t going too well.”

“That sucks.” My wedding helped to strengthen my relationship with my dad and it really seemed like he had turned over a new leaf. Apparently, his gay daughter marrying a woman was much easier for my dad to swallow than his gay son marrying a man.

Ever since Jamie and Ethan had announced their official wedding date, my dad had shut down around him. He acted like my brother was no longer the guy that liked to toss around a football with him and watch sports, even though nothing had actually changed. Jamie tried to act cool about it whenever he talked to me, but I could tell it was really hurting him that their relationship had changed so much.

“He’ll be okay, don’t worry.” Reagan squeezed my hand once again. “He gets to marry the guy that he thought he let get away in high school. The dude is on cloud nine. I’ve honestly never seen him happier than when he’s with Ethan. Even when he was being a huge player in college and acting like he loved it, he wasn’t nearly as happy as he is now that he’s settling down.”

“I’m glad Jamie had you.” I stared out the window and thought about all of the time I missed with my brother, because both of us were too stubborn to admit our struggles to each other. It was one of my biggest regrets. Thank god for Reagan helping us to rekindle that relationship. “You know, when I wasn’t there for him.”

“Jamie regrets that time too, you know,” Reagan said, her voice soft and understanding.

“I know he does. I just wish we both hadn’t been so dumb back then.”

“You two went through a lot of shit growing up, most of which you didn’t fully comprehend until the past few years, so it makes sense that you were a bit messed up.”

“I think I’m still a bit messed up,” I said honestly. Reagan knew me inside and out, so there was no need to lie about it.

“Aren’t we all?” Reagan asked with a laugh. She pointed her thumb toward the back of the car. “How much do you think we’re going to mess these three up?”

I cringed at the thought. So many of my friends had one thing or another from their childhood that still had an effect on them as an adult, but no one who has kids expects to give them lifelong trauma that can only be worked out with years of therapy. At least, I hope not. “Hopefully just enough to give them character.”

Reagan smiled over at me before moving her eyes back to the road. “I’m sure we’ll do a great job. One step at a time. Let’s start by trying to survive this wedding weekend with them and your mother.”

***

On the morning of the wedding, I was barely awake when there was a soft knock at our hotel room door. I breathed a sigh of relief when I opened the door to find Reagan’s mom and dad standing there.

“We’re here to take care of your little angels so you two can get ready with the rest of the group,” Reagan’s mom said as she brought me into a tight hug.

I was so thankful Jamie had invited Reagan’s parents to the wedding. I wasn’t sure whether he had done it because he knew they would help us or because they were the parents of his best friend, but either way, I was very appreciative to have them there.

Reagan and I gave each of the kids a tight squeeze and grabbed our clothes for the wedding before sprinting out of the room.

Reagan looked at me and wiggled her eyebrows as we walked down the hallway toward the elevators. “Wanna sneak off and have sex somewhere?”

My body heated up at the thought. It had been way too long since Reagan and I had sex and just imagining her touch had me turned on. Except, unfortunately, that wasn’t what today was about, and I clearly needed to be the mature one. “You know there’s nothing I want more, but my brother would kill us if we did that, especially you, Miss Best Woman.”

Reagan smirked at me in a way that made me want to say screw it and push her into the nearest dark corner. “That’s Mrs . Best Woman. Don’t forget that I’m married to a super hot groom’s woman.”

Since Jamie and Ethan decided to only have three grooms-people each, Reagan and I were two-thirds of Jamie’s party, so we couldn’t skimp out on our responsibilities, especially since I doubted my parents would be much help. They came just in time for the rehearsal last night and disappeared as soon as they finished their last bite at the dinner that followed.

“You’re thinking about your parents, aren’t you?” Reagan asked, her voice more serious now.

I sighed. “How can you tell?”

Reagan ran her finger between my eyebrows. “You always get the cutest little worry line right here whenever you’re thinking about them. I hate that they stress you out, but I have to admit, I also find that little line adorable.”

“Lucky for you, it doesn’t look like they’ll stop stressing me out anytime soon, so that line is probably there to stay.”

Reagan leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips that had my body buzzing. “I think everything about you is adorable, so I’d rather you be happy.”

I didn’t have any time to reply, because the elevator door opened at that moment, and much to my surprise, my brother was pacing in front of it.

“Oh, thank God,” he said as we got off. “I was just coming up to find you two. I love Benson, but he is very heterosexual and no help at all. His solution for everything is that we should take shots.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, because I told my brother that would be the case when he said he was going to ask his oldest friend, a guy he played football with since middle school, to be in his wedding party. Benson was nice, but he was probably going to be a bachelor forever because he didn’t have a romantic bone in his body.

As if reading my mind, Jamie pointed a finger at me. “I don’t want to hear it. Just help me out please. I’m kind of freaking out.”

Now that he mentioned it, his face was extremely pale, which was in stark contrast to his neck that had red blotches all over it

Reagan put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder and squeezed it. “First of all, just breathe. This is your wedding day. You’re walking down the aisle, not walking the plank.”

“I know. I’m just…” Jamie closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “I just want everything to be perfect.”

Reagan laughed as she pulled her hand away. “Then you might be talking to the wrong girls. Nothing we do ever goes perfectly, but we are here to help in any way we can.”

Reagan’s words seemed to calm some of Jamie’s nerves and we were able to keep him fairly calm throughout the day as he got ready for the wedding, did his first look with Ethan, and took pictures. My parents were absent for almost everything except for the pictures, but after seeing Ethan in his tuxedo, I could tell nothing was going to ruin Jamie’s mood.

By the time the wedding started, his smile was bigger than I had ever seen it before. The same was true for Ethan, except he also had tears running down his cheeks.

I couldn’t blame him. As soon as they started reading their vows to each other, my tears started to fall as well. I smiled through my tears as my brother used a shaky hand to grab a piece of paper from Reagan.

He took a deep breath and blew it out before he started to read. “Ethan, for years, I thought you were the one that got away. I don’t know what crazy fate brought us back together or why you accepted me with open arms, but I’m so thankful you gave me another chance to do things right this time. You were too good for me in high school and you’re still too good for me now. I’m also thankful that you don’t seem to realize that.” Everyone laughed as my brother chuckled and wiped his eyes. “Not only are you the greatest person I’ve ever met, but you also make me a better person. You give me a confidence I never thought I would have. The fact that someone like you loves me helps me to love myself. I mean, I must have done something right if I get to spend my whole life loving you. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for believing in me. Most of all, thank you for loving me. I can’t wait to start the rest of our lives together today. I love you.”

Ethan took off his glasses and dabbed at his eyes with a tissue, but it was no use. His tears were flowing even more now. “Wow. I probably should have gone first. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to read my own words when I’m crying like a fool.” He wiped his glasses and put them back on then stared down at the paper in his hands. “All right. Here we go. Jamie, you always say that I was the one who got away, but the truth is, I never went anywhere. Even when I didn’t know it, my heart was always waiting for you. You’re not just the love of my life. You’re also my soulmate. My life became a million times more beautiful from the moment you walked back into it. I can’t wait to start the next part of our journey together. I can’t wait to watch you become a father to our future children. Life with you gets better every single day, so I can’t even begin to imagine how amazing the years to come are going to be. I could go on forever, but we promised your nana we would keep this ceremony short.”

“Hell yeah!” Nana screamed from where she was sitting in the front row, causing everyone to burst into laughter, including Ethan and Jamie.

“Exactly,” Ethan said as he smiled and shook his head. He put the note back into his pocket and took both of Jamie’s hands in his. “I love you, Jamie. I loved you before I could define what those feelings in my heart were. I love you now, and I’ll love you forever. I promise.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house (aside from maybe my mother and father, who looked annoyingly stoic) as Jamie and Ethan walked back down the aisle together. Before we walked down the aisle as well, Reagan scooped two of our children into her arms and I grabbed the other one, then we walked down as a family.

After a few more pictures, it was time for the cocktail hour and reception. I had a few drinks for liquid courage before I decided to finally go talk to my dad, who was standing off to the side and watching everyone else enjoy themselves, which was a little better than my mom who hadn’t left her seat at their table.

I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. “It was a beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?”

My father nodded, his jaw set in place as if he was holding in the words he actually wanted to say. Words that I’m sure he shouldn’t say. “It was.”

I pointed over at my brother who was laughing with his new husband. “Jamie looks so happy. Ethan really is perfect for him. I have no doubt that they’ll have a great life together.” I stared at my dad for a long time until I finally broke him and his demeanor softened.

He sighed and slouched his shoulders slightly. “I’m trying Charlie, okay? I really am. I want to be happy for your brother. I am happy. I’m just…” He trailed off instead of finishing his sentence.

“I really thought we turned a corner at my wedding, Dad.” I let out a frustrated sigh, mostly because I really was frustrated we were still stuck in this spot when I thought we had moved on, but also to prove my point that I was sick of his shit lately.

“It’s different with Jamie. He’s my son, my boy. It’s different.”

I shook my head. “It shouldn’t be.”

My dad’s shoulders dropped even more. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” I nodded across the room.

“I know.”

“I know apologies are hard for you and Mom, but maybe at least start by telling him you’re happy for him.”

“I am happy for him,” my dad said, his voice firm in a way that actually made me believe him.

I elbowed him in the side as playfully as I could even though I really wanted to knock some sense into him. “Then show it.”

“You’re right.” He looked at me and smiled and it was the most sincere smile I had seen from him in a while. “You’re very smart.”

“I know.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Now, I need to get back to my wife before the triplets kill her.”

I smiled over at Reagan who was bouncing Carter and Ronan on her lap while Olivia, who was being held by Reagan’s mom, screamed and tried to reach for her.

I reached my arms toward Olivia when I got to the table. “Here. Let me take her from you. I know she’s a handful.”

“Oh, she’s just fine,” Mrs. Cooper said as she smiled down at Olivia rather than handing her to me. “I’m all partied out. Why don’t you let me and my husband take them for the night?”

I shook my head. “We can’t make you do that. Plus the cribs are already set up in our room. It’s no big deal. I appreciate the offer though.”

“Well, guess what? There are cribs set up in our room as well. I called the front desk to have three brought up this morning before I came to your room to get them. It looks like you have no choice but to give them to me.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want—”

“For God’s sake, Charlie. Just let them take the kids,” Reagan said with a laugh, not hesitating before handing the two she was holding over to her dad.

After giving the babies a bunch of hugs and kisses, Reagan and I finally let ourselves relax, which obviously meant having as many drinks as we could as quickly as possible.

“I’m going to miss you when you go back to work,” Reagan said, her words slurring as she danced close to me. “When is that happening? Did you hear anything back from the last daycare we emailed?”

I cringed at her questions. This was the last thing I wanted to be thinking about right now, especially since I had nothing but bad news for her. “Honestly, I need to get back as soon as possible. I’ve been lucky that I’ve been able to find associate doctors to fill in almost all of the days I’ve been out, but paying them is causing a big hit to the money we’re taking in.”

“And daycare isn’t cheap, especially with three.”

“Yeah, about that…” I let my voice trail off.

Reagan furrowed her eyebrows at me. “What’s up?”

“That daycare did email me back and they also have a waitlist. They said it will be at least a year if we want to get all three in.”

“Shit.” Reagan laughed even though Charlie was sure she didn’t actually find this funny. “I guess we should’ve listened when people told us to get on a waitlist before they were born, huh?”

“Yeah. It seemed crazy at the time, but I guess they knew what they were talking about. I honestly don’t know what we're going to do. I need to go back to work, but I can’t really do that without having childcare in place.” I shook my head and pulled Reagan tight up against me. “We shouldn’t be talking about this right now though. Let’s just enjoy this kid-free moment.”

“I can do it.”

I pulled away from Reagan slightly so I could look at her. “Do what?”

“I’ll stay with the triplets while you work. I need to get work done too obviously, but since I work remotely, I can get my stuff done while they nap and once you’re home. My boss won’t care what time I’m doing my work as long as I get it done.”

“You want to stay with the triplets…alone?”

“Want to? Hell no. Will I do it for the good of our family? Of course.”

I raised an eyebrow at Reagan. “I feel like you’re only suggesting this right now because you’re drunk.”

Reagan shrugged. “Probably. But do we really have any other option?”

I sighed because I knew she was right. “Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Of course. I’m Reagan Cooper. I can handle anything.”