Chapter 13
Reagan
The High School Years (14-18)
“Photo time!” As I lined the kids up on our front porch, I took a good look at them.
All three of them had my hazel eyes, but aside from that, they really had become their own people. Ronan was tall with shaggy dirty blonde hair that was always falling in front of his eyes (yet, he still refused to cut it). He was wearing athletic shorts and his football jersey and wore the sly grin on his face that I was getting very used to.
Olivia was dressed in jeans and a cheerleading sweatshirt. I knew it killed her to wear a sweatshirt on the first day, but that was apparently what the cheerleading squad had agreed on. Her brown hair was cut to her shoulders and now had purple tips which she had done over the summer to make herself stand out (aka to get people to stop confusing her with her sister).
Carter was also wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, but the sweatshirt was by choice in her case and much baggier than the one Olivia had on. She had kept her brown hair as it was, with its original color and hanging a few inches below her shoulders.
After getting the pictures, we drove them to school. Not one of them looked back when they walked in together, and it took everything inside of me not to cry. When did they get so old?
“You’re trying not to cry, aren’t you?” Charlie asked.
I scoffed. “Of course not. It’s just high school. Why would I cry about that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because our babies are growing up in the blink of an eye.”
There was a crack to her voice and when I looked over I realized that she wasn’t trying to hold back her tears. They were running freely down her cheeks.
“You were right. I was trying to hold them back, but really, when did they get so damn old?”
“I don’t know, but I’m really glad I decided to take today off or else I might start crying in front of a patient. Especially since most of my patients are the same age I feel like our kids still should be.”
I took her hand and squeezed it. No matter how much changed, one thing always stayed the same and it was the amount of love I felt for this woman. Actually, that wasn’t true. I still continued to love her more and more every day, even when it felt like that shouldn’t be possible.
“You feeling up to a breakfast date?”
Charlie smiled at me and it set my heart on fire. “With you? Always.”
“When are your parents getting into town?” I asked Charlie while we ate our breakfast.
Charlie rolled her eyes. “It sounds like they’re coming on Thursday. I don’t know why they can’t wait until Friday. Ronan’s game isn’t until seven.”
Everyone was very excited that Ronan had made the varsity football team as a freshman, but Mr. and Mrs. Miller were especially excited. It was as if watching Ronan play football and Olivia cheerlead was the perfect way to relive the glory days of when Charlie and Jamie were in high school. I was just hoping they didn’t make it into such a big deal that they hurt Carter’s feelings for not participating in any sports. It’s not like they didn’t have a lot to be proud of with her. She was already talking about all of the clubs she wanted to join, including future business leaders of America and mock UN.
“They need time to walk around town and brag about how they have a football playing grandson and cheerleading granddaughter.”
Charlie fake gagged. “I don’t understand why that’s still so important to them.”
“Haven’t you heard? The only way to succeed in life is to be a cheerleader or a football player,” I said sarcastically.
“Does that go for male cheerleaders and female football players, too?”
I brought my hand to my chest as if I was offended that she would even suggest that. “How could you say such a thing? Those do not exist.”
Charlie laughed, but after a few seconds, her face became serious again. “I need to tell my parents Carter likes girls. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, because it’s not, but if she ends up getting a girlfriend at some point, I want to make sure they don’t do or say something ridiculous.”
I nodded. “That makes sense, because if they ever do something to hurt those kids, they can forget ever seeing them again.” I could feel my face getting red just at the thought.
“I love how protective you are of our family.” Charlie reached across the table and put her hand on top of mine and I felt some of my anger melting away.
“I just know how much they hurt you and Jamie, and obviously I can’t go back and stop that from happening, but I won’t let it happen to my kids.”
“Me either. That’s why we need to have this talk.”
*
Halftime of Ronan’s football game, when Carter went to sit with some of her friends and my parents went to the concession stand, brought the perfect opportunity to talk to Charlie’s parents.
Charlie was running her mouth about the most random topics and I could tell it was because she was putting off the conversation we actually needed to be having.
I cleared my throat to get everyone’s attention and took Charlie’s hand. “We have something important we need to talk to you about.” I stopped there so Charlie could take over if she wanted to since they were her parents.
“Um, yeah.” Charlie squeezed my hand tightly. It broke my heart that even after all this time her parents still caused her to return to that scared little girl. “It’s about Carter. We really don’t want to make a big deal about it since it isn’t one, but Carter likes girls.”
Mrs. Miller furrowed her eyebrows. “Did she tell you to talk to us?”
Charlie shook her head. “No, because she doesn’t see it as anything that needs to be discussed, which makes sense, and we’re glad she feels that way. But we wanted you to know so that you don’t hurt her, intentionally or unintentionally, if she tells you about a girlfriend in the future.”
“Really, Charlotte? Are we still stuck in the past? I have a son, daughter, and sister who like the same gender. I think I know how to talk to gay people at this point.”
Charlie huffed. “The fact that you just said you know how to talk to gay people tells me you really don’t since you should talk to gay people the exact same way you talk to straight people, because there’s no difference.”
“Charlotte, don’t tell me—”
Charlie put up her hand to stop her mom. Thank god. “I’m not trying to fight with you. I just want you to know that if Carter ever introduces you to a girlfriend, you need to react the exact same way you would if Ronan introduced you to a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m appreciative of the place we’re at now, but if you ever cause her even an ounce of the pain that you caused me, our kids will be out of your lives forever.”
Charlie’s mom opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but instead, her body stiffened and she stared straight ahead. Charlie’s dad leaned over her to squeeze Charlie’s hand. “If or when Carter gets a girlfriend, we will welcome her with open arms. You don’t have to worry about that.”
With Carter being so focused on school and her extracurriculars, I wasn’t sure if that was going to be a worry anytime soon anyway, but I was wrong.
* Charlie *
In the middle of their sophomore year, Carter and Olivia walked through the front door chattering back and forth excitedly. “You have to tell them. They’ll be so excited,” Olivia said.
“I don’t know. What if it doesn’t last?” Carter asked. “I don’t want to make it into a big thing and have her end up dumping me next week.”
My ears perked up at that. My little girl had a girlfriend. Sure, both Olivia and Ronan had dated but their relationships were never long-lasting. Since Carter never jumped into anything without giving it careful consideration, I figured a relationship for her would be more serious from the beginning.
“Doesn’t last?” Olivia laughed. “Marcie Bishop has been making googly eyes at you all year. I can’t believe it took you this long to finally ask her out.”
“I had to make sure she was someone I could see myself with long-term. I don’t see the point in starting a relationship that is destined to fail.”
“Because relationships are fun. Kissing is fantastic. If you ask me, it’s so much better when you know you’ll be kissing another guy in a few weeks. Or in your case, another girl.”
There was a moment of silence before Carter responded again and even though I couldn’t see her, I pictured her shaking her head while she considered Olivia’s words. “That’s just not my thing. I really like Marcie. I don’t want to kiss anyone else.”
“But you do want to kiss her, huh?” Olivia teased.
“Oh, shut up,” Carter responded.
“What? My baby sister is going on her first official date and about to get her first kiss. How could I not be excited?”
“Baby sister? Really? It was four minutes.”
“Still counts.”
A minute later, the two girls walked into the kitchen where I was sitting at the counter. Both of their eyes went wide when they saw me.
“Mom?” Carter asked. “What are you doing home already?”
“My last three patients were siblings and they ended up canceling, so I decided to come home so I could be here to greet you.”
“That’s cool.” Olivia sat down at the table, but she kept making faces at Carter and looking between the two of us.
I pretended I didn’t notice because I didn’t want her to feel like she had to tell me anything she didn’t want to. I wanted it to be her decision in her time.
Carter took a seat next to Olivia and fidgeted with her hands on top of the table. “I want to tell you something, Mama.”
I watched her hands and face closely, which both showed signs of hesitance. “Are you sure? Because if this is something you’re not ready to share with me, I completely understand.”
Carter’s face turned red from my words, but they also caused her to stop fidgeting and a large grin to spread across her face. “No, I do want to tell you. I really do. Just don’t make it into a big deal, okay?”
I put both hands in the air. “Of course. No big deals will be made. I promise.”
Carter took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I have a date on Friday.”
“That’s really cool. Who is it with?”
“Her name is Marcie Bishop. We’re in FBLA and Mock UN together.”
“She’s also a starter on the JV basketball team and super hot,” Olivia added. “You know, if you are into women.”
“Who’s super hot?” Reagan asked as she walked into the room.
Carter’s face turned even more red, but if Olivia noticed, she didn’t seem to care. She pointed her thumb at her sister. “Carter’s girlfriend.”
Carter shook her head. “She’s not my girlfriend. It’s just a date.”
“But she will be your girlfriend.” Olivia looked from Carter to me and Reagan. “Seriously, Marcie is obsessed, in a super cute way, of course.”
“Oh my god, will you stop?” Carter asked, but the smile on her face told me she actually didn’t mind her sister’s teasing in this case.
“What? I’m serious. This is the real deal, sis. I have a good feeling that it’s going to last. By senior year, you two will be a complete power couple. I would even go as far as to say that you would be named joint homecoming queens, but that title belongs to yours truly.”
*
It turned out Olivia was right about both of those things. Carter sat on the bleachers holding hands with Marcie while the two of them and the rest of our family watched Olivia get crowned homecoming queen. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t fill me with pride to see my daughter crowned as homecoming queen the same way I had been many many years ago. What made me even more proud was the reason she was voted as queen. Sure, she was loud (and a little bit full of herself), but she also had a heart of gold. She ran fundraisers so people who couldn’t afford the athletics fee at the school would get it covered. She had tons of friends, but still made sure everyone felt included. She wasn’t just the school’s cheerleading captain, but also her brother and sister’s biggest cheerleader. Missing Ronan’s football games was never an option due to cheerleading, but she also never missed anything Carter was involved in. She cycled through boyfriends as if they were fashion trends, but the guys she broke up with all still had excellent things to say about her.
“I’m so happy for her,” Carter said, her voice cracking slightly. When I looked over at her, her eyes were tearing up just as I suspected.
“Aww, babe.” Marcie leaned in close to Carter. “It’s so sweet how happy you are for her.”
“I just know how much she wanted this. I might not understand the hype. No offense, Mama. But she’s been dreaming about this for years. It clearly meant a lot to her, so I’m glad she got it.”
“Is it really a surprise though?” Marcie asked with a laugh. “I haven’t heard one person say they voted for any of the other girls.”
Carter laughed along with her. “That’s very true.”
I stood from my seat when I saw it was time to get pictures. The rest of the family followed me, including both sets of grandparents who came even though it was getting harder for them to climb the bleachers. After getting pictures of Olivia and her escort who also happened to be her current boyfriend, we took family pictures. First Reagan and I stood with her, then each set of grandparents, followed by Carter and Marcie. After that, we took a picture of all of us. The only one missing was Ronan since the homecoming queen was announced during halftime of his football game. That was fine since we would be able to get plenty of pictures of the three of them together before the dance the next night.
As Olivia talked to the rest of the family at a mile a minute, I felt a hand slip into mine. I smiled over at Reagan, and she squeezed my hand. “Life has kind of come full circle. Hasn’t it, homecoming queen?”
“Nah.” I leaned into Reagan as I watched our two daughters laugh together, one with an arm around her boyfriend and the other holding the hand of her girlfriend, while we waited for our son to come out and play the second half of his football game. “This moment is so much better than anything I experienced when I was in high school.”
“This moment is perfect.” Reagan sighed contentedly. “Now we just have to hope they don’t decide to go too far away from us for college. I don’t know if my heart can handle that.”
I laughed at my wife who had become such a softie over the years. “It’s okay if they do, because at least we know in their case they are running toward something instead of away from us.”
“That’s true. They’ll always come back.”
“Especially when they need money.”
“And we should be good for that for at least the next four years.”
Now I sighed. Time really had gone by so fast. But every new adventure made me happy, because I knew our kids were becoming the people that they wanted to be. Not who they thought we wanted them to be. Just like Reagan though, I selfishly wished their dreams never took them too far away from us, but with this big decision coming up, I would never tell them that.
***
“Hey, you two, get over here.” Ronan waved his hand at Carter and Olivia from where he sat at a big table with a pen in his hand and a paper sitting in front of him.
He was wearing a Bellman University Football sweatshirt since that was the school he had decided on. Since it was Division II, he couldn’t get a full athletic scholarship, but he received the biggest one they could offer, plus an academic scholarship on top of it. Even though today was about him since he was signing his letter of intent to play football, he wanted to include his sisters, so he had asked them to come along and wear sweatshirts from their chosen schools.
I smiled as I watched Carter join him wearing her Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania sweatshirt and Olivia join in her New York University Sweatshirt (following in her mom and Uncle Jamie’s footsteps). I was beaming with pride over the excellent schools they had gotten into, but also very happy that none of them were going to be more than a two-hour drive from us.
“This picture is definitely going on the wall,” Reagan said as she moved to stand beside me.
Ronan waved his hand at the two of us next. “Not without you two in it. If this is going on the wall, it needs to include the two women who got us to where we are now.”
Don’t cry, Charlie. Don’t you dare cry.
“If you want to make sure our makeup isn’t running in these pictures, you better stop saying things like that,” Reagan joked.
Ronan shrugged. “I only speak the truth.”
Olivia playfully elbowed him. “You’re also a huge suck up.”
Ronan shook his head and pointed to Carter. “I’m not as big of a suck up as her.”
“Carter isn’t a suck up. That’s just her personality.”
“For once, Olivia is right,” Carter said with a laugh.
Ronan and Olivia laughed along with her, and I quickly snapped a picture of this beautiful sibling moment. I didn’t care how well the picture came out that had me and Reagan in it. This one was definitely going on the wall.