Chapter 14
Reagan
The College Years
(18-22)
Ronan was the first of the college drop-offs since he had to be there early for football pre-season. Both Carter and Olivia came along to see off their brother even though we let them know they didn’t have to since their last summer at home was dwindling.
Bellman was the perfect small town atmosphere. It was filled with tiny shops and restaurants, a church on almost every corner, and multiple bars. I knew I would have a nice time exploring every time we came to visit, which would be often since we would be back a lot for Ronan’s football games.
As soon as we arrived on campus, we began moving Ronan into the dorm room that would be his home for at least the next year. Apparently, most students moved off campus after the first year so I was sure Ronan would too, but I’m not sure why he would want to when his dorm was at the prime spot—next to the dining hall and feet from the football field.
“This is a nice place you got here,” Olivia said as she sat down on his bed. “It’s going to be a culture shock when I ride the train in from New York and come to your games with Mom and Mama.”
Ronan sat down beside Olivia and looked between her and Carter. “You know you guys don’t have to feel obligated to come to my games. I know it’s going to be hard with your own college plans.”
Carter sat on the other side of Ronan. “I already have all of your home games marked on my calendar and I’m going to try my best to come to all of them as long as nothing comes up. Marcie wrote them down as well and is planning to come with me.”
Ronan smirked and elbowed Carter in the side. “I bet you're super excited to finally get away and be at the same school as your girlfriend. Don’t waste all of your Saturdays on me.”
Carter’s face turned red, but a small smile still played on her lips. “It’s a few Saturdays throughout the fall. We’ll be fine.”
After getting his room set up, we walked into town to go to a cute little restaurant called Emma’s Cafe that had apparently been in this town for well over fifty years. The food was fantastic and the portions were huge, so the walk back through town after the meal was very much so needed.
We stuck around for another hour, because even though he didn’t say it, it was obvious Ronan wasn’t ready for us to leave. We finally said our goodbyes when it was closing in on the time of his first team meeting. I honestly thought Ronan might start to cry when he pulled me into a bear hug and didn’t let go for a long time. Of course, his tears never came, but mine did. It was no surprise that Charlie cried as well, but it was surprising when both of the girls shed a few tears.
We were all quiet on the drive home. If the rest of the family was like me, they were thinking about what our new normal would be like now that the triplets would all be in different places.
Two weeks later, we went on our next college drop-off trip with one less sibling. Even though it had been years since living in the city, driving into New York still kind of felt like coming home. I was sure it would especially feel like that over the next four years since anytime I went there, it would be to see a big part of my home—my crazy daughter who spent the last eighteen years keeping me on my toes. Thinking about saying goodbye to Olivia in a few hours caused a physical pain in my heart. I was going to miss her attitude and all of the eye rolls, but I was especially going to miss the times she let her guard down. The way she still snuggled up to me as we watched a movie or a TV show. How she shared all of the details of her life with me (even the ones I would rather not know).
“I still can’t believe your campus is just spread out through Manhattan,” Carter said, saving me from my spiral. “I could never handle this.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia playfully poke Carter. “It’s not like your school’s not in a city.”
“Yeah, but Philly is nothing like New York.” Carter smiled sweetly at Olivia. “New York is perfect for you though. Definitely the right fit.”
Olivia smiled back at Carter and squeezed her arm. I was glad I was able to catch the moment in my rearview mirror. Even though they had a great relationship, sincerely sweet moments weren’t their usual love language. With all three kids, they tended to show their love more through teasing each other.
After finding parking, we lugged all of Olivia’s crap from the car to her dorm room, where her roommate was already in the process of unpacking. “You must be Jax,” Olivia said, not giving the poor girl a chance to answer before running across the room and wrapping her in a tight hug.
The girl didn’t seem to mind and immediately embraced Olivia in return. “Olivia! It’s so great to finally meet you.” She stepped back and studied Olivia as if she was stunned to see her standing there. “I feel like I already know you so well that it’s crazy to think this is the first time we’re meeting in person.”
“And you must be Mom.” Jax turned to me with an outstretched hand. She was tall and skinny with long blonde wavy hair that went into a red ombre near the tips. There was a small rainbow tattoo on the ring finger of the hand she was holding out to me and a rainbow of dots tattooed across her wrist. She had a few other tattoos, but I couldn’t make out what they were. Jax shook her head. “Or is it Mama? I can’t remember which of you Olivia said was blonde and which was brunette.”
I took her hand and shook it. “I am Mom.” I pointed over my shoulder at Charlie. “That’s Mama.”
After shaking Charlie’s hand as well, she looked between the two of us, literally beaming. “I still can’t believe Olivia has two moms. I tell her every time we talk about how lucky she is. I love my dad, but still.” Jax looked away from us to focus her attention on Carter. “And you must be Carter. Olivia has told me a lot about you.” She bit her bottom lip and didn’t try to hide the fact that she was totally checking out my daughter as she ran her eyes up and down her body. “You didn’t happen to break up with that girlfriend of yours, did you?”
Carter’s face turned more red than I had ever seen it, which was saying a lot for her. “Um, no. We’re still together. Hopefully for the long run.”
Jax ran her eyes over Carter once again. “That’s too bad,” she said flirtatiously.
Olivia playfully smacked Jax’s arm. “If you keep hitting on my sister like this, I’m going to start to think you want to sleep with me .”
Jax scrunched up her nose and waved her hand. “You’re not my type.”
Olivia scoffed and put her hands on her hips. “We’re identical.”
“Yeah, but you have a completely different style.” Jax pointed at Carter. “I like my women more straight edge.”
“Well, don’t hold your breath for Carter. She’s like madly in love or whatever.”
“I’ll be okay. I already have some options lined up.” Jax winked at Carter making her face somehow become even more red.
“But we’re sticking to our deal, right?” Olivia asked. “No serious relationships while we’re here?”
“Obviously. I am way too young to settle down. No one is taming me.”
“Well, Olivia, it sure looks like you got the perfect roommate match,” Charlie said with a laugh. “That makes me feel better about leaving you in this big city.”
Jax threw an arm around Olivia’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Miller-Cooper, I’ll take good care of your little girl. I’ll make sure she only gets herself into the fun kind of trouble.”
Watching Olivia and Jax interact the rest of the day brought back memories of meeting Jamie and how quickly we clicked just like these two were. I was happy she had Jax and even though it was only the beginning, I had no question they would be there for each other throughout college and beyond. Charlie was right. That definitely made me feel better as we got back into the car at the end of the day and drove away from the city.
“Two down. One to go,” I said as I sighed and watched the city grow smaller through the rearview window.
Another week passed before it was time to take Carter to school. Since she was going to school in Philadelphia, she was the closest of the three. It would be simple to go back and forth to see her whenever we wanted, which only made this drop-off the slightest bit easier. I would no longer walk downstairs in the morning to find Carter already awake, sitting at the kitchen counter with her nose in a book. We would have to drive to exchange our favorite books with each other rather than walking down the hallway. Even though I was sure she would call me much more often than the other two, over the phone I wouldn’t be able to see her face light up over something that really excited her.
“I’m sorry you only get us for your drop-off,” I said as we carried the last of her items into her dorm. Unlike Olivia, Carter’s roommate wasn’t there yet because she had insisted on arriving early.
Carter shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I’m glad I could be there for the other two. Plus, it’s a lot easier for me than it is for them. I can see you two whenever I want. Plus, I’ll have Marcie here with me.”
“When is Marcie arriving?” Charlie asked.
Carter picked up her phone then set it back down. “They should be arriving any time now, but she’s going to spend the next few hours with her family. We already have a reservation made for a dinner date later tonight.”
“So, what I’m hearing is you’re all ours for now, huh?” I asked.
“Yep.” Carter ran a hand over the sheet she had just put on her bed. “I was hoping we could walk around campus and figure out where my classes are so I don’t have trouble finding them on Monday.”
Ah. My responsible child. One out of three ain’t bad, I guess. “That sounds wonderful.”
After finding her classrooms, then doing another lap around campus so Carter could figure out the best way to navigate from one place to another, we spent the next few hours walking around the city.
When it was time to say our goodbyes and I started to cry, Carter reminded me that she would be seeing me in a week for Ronan’s first football game. I gave her one more hug and took a few steps away before I remembered the present I had in my bag for her. I pulled out the book and held it in the air. “Carter. Wait. I have something for you.”
Carter turned around and stared at the tattered book in my hands. “What is it?”
I closed the space between us and handed it to her. “It’s the first book I ever illustrated the cover of. This was actually the first official copy ever printed. Kinsley gave it to me because she knew how much it would mean to me. But I want you to have it, because I know it will mean just as much to you.”
Carter stared down at the book as she skimmed through the pages, running her hands over it as if it were the most precious gold. When she closed the book and looked up at me, there were tears in her eyes. “Mom… this is…” She wiped her eyes. “It’s everything. Thank you so much.”
When we said goodbye this time, Carter hugged me as if she wouldn’t be seeing me soon. And at that moment, a week really did feel like forever.
“I miss them all so much already,” I said as I got in the car.
Charlie took my hand and smiled at me knowingly. “Me, too. But at least we have each other.”
I looked down at the hand I had been holding for over twenty years, and I knew I could get through this. No matter what life threw at us (and it had certainly thrown a lot), Charlie and I had gotten through it together. This was just another adventure that we were taking together and there was no one else I would rather have by my side for it.
“Do you think the next four years are going to fly by just as fast as the first eighteen did?” I asked.
“Probably even faster.” Charlie sighed. “Is there a way to slow down time?”
“Unfortunately, not yet. But I’ll tell you what we can do. We can make the most of every single moment these next four years.”
Charlie smiled through her tears and squeezed my hand. “Let’s do it.”
***
There were a few moments throughout those four college years that stuck with me more than the others. The first one happened when we went to Ronan’s last home football game of his junior year. After the game ended, he grabbed my hand and pulled me across the stadium as if he was a little kid again. As he dragged me along, he yelled for Charlie and the girls to follow as well.
When we made it to the far end of the bleachers, there was a small, yet muscular girl with brown hair that was pulled up into a ponytail and blue eyes that were so bright they rivaled Charlie’s. She had a wide smile on her face, but the way she was fidgeting with her sweatshirt told me she was nervous.
Ronan pointed to the girl as if he was showing off a piece of art. “Family Unit, I’d like you to meet Mallory, my girlfriend.” He ran his hand in front of us. “Mallory, this is my family.”
He was so excited, he was bouncing up and down and his voice sounded like one of a giddy little boy who was just told he could get a happy meal.
“It’s so nice to meet all of you.” Mallory did a small wave then pushed a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “I’ve heard so much about each of you.”
“All lies of course.” Ronan honest to god giggled, which was especially funny coming from a very large guy in a football uniform. “I made you all sound excellent.”
Mallory giggled with him and slapped his stomach. She left her hand resting there and smiled at the rest of us. “I have no doubt that all of the excellent things he said were very true.”
After talking to Mallory for a few minutes, we found out that she was on the school’s soccer team and she and Ronan had a few classes together the past few years since they were both exercise science majors, but they didn’t start talking regularly until this year.
Charlie invited Mallory to go to dinner with us and she graciously accepted. Ronan said he needed to get himself cleaned up before he could go and headed toward the locker room. I used the excuse that I had to use the restroom (not a complete lie) to walk with him.
“You really like Mallory, don’t you?” I asked as we walked together.
“Mom, I don’t just like her.” He stopped walking and turned toward me. “Mark my words—I’m going to marry that girl someday.”
At that moment, I had no doubt that he would.
***
Another memory I’ll never forget was the time Charlie and I decided to spend a long weekend in New York when we went on one of our many trips to visit Olivia. We drove in late on Thursday afternoon and checked into a hotel in Times Square. Since Olivia had classes for most of the day on Friday, we spent Thursday night and Friday morning walking hand in hand as we searched for new things to discover in the city we both knew so well at this point.
When we started to run out of ideas, I showed Charlie the first apartment Jamie and I shared together. “So, this is where it all began, huh?” she asked as she stared up at the old building.
“Yep. Just think, if Jamie and I had never decided to move in here together, we would have never met.”
Charlie shook her head. “I don’t believe that. We were always meant to find each other.”
I leaned my head against hers, basking in this moment of pure bliss. “That’s true.”
“Since we’re reminiscing, you know what we should do next?” Charlie asked.
Honestly, I had no idea. “What?”
“You’ll see.” Charlie smirked as she led me down the street and back to our hotel. She gave the valet our car information, but wouldn’t tell me why we needed the car.
It was only a few minutes into our drive when it finally hit me. “Are we going to see our first apartment?”
Charlie’s smile grew even bigger. “We sure are.”
She parked in the parking lot of her old practice, which was now apparently owned by someone different than the person she sold it to (at least, that’s how it appeared given the name change and makeover it had undergone).
I pointed to the building. “They’re open. We should go in.”
Charlie scrunched up her nose. “Really? Isn’t that a little strange? ‘Hey you don’t know me, but I actually used to own this place .’”
I shrugged. “I don’t think it’s strange at all. In fact, I’m going to go in either way.”
Charlie turned off the car and followed me to the entrance. As soon as we walked inside, we were greeted by the receptionist. “Hi! How can I help you? Do you have an appointment?”
Much to my surprise, Charlie stepped up to the front desk. “No. I actually used to own this practice many, many years ago. Is Dr. Griffith still here?”
The receptionist shook her head. “I’m afraid not. He sold the practice a year ago.” The receptionist’s face lit up. “Wait! You’re the doctor that was here before Dr. Griffith? When I got a job here, your manager was still working here, and she had nothing but good things to say about you. I feel like I’m meeting a celebrity with how much she talked about you.” She walked out from behind the desk and waved us on as she led us down the hallway that held so many memories for us. “Doctor Manning is about to go on her lunch break. You need to meet her.”
She practically ran right into the young woman as she walked into the hallway from her exam room. “Oh, Dr. Manning. You’ll never believe who is here. This is…” She turned toward us and put her hand on her head. “I'm sorry. I never asked your names.”
Charlie held out her hand. “I’m Charlie and this is my wife, Reagan. I actually owned the practice before Dr. Griffith.”
“No way! You have to let me show you around.”
I thought it was strange when there was a storage area where I could have sworn the break room had been, but I figured I must have been remembering it wrong.
“Where is the break room now?” Charlie asked as if she had read my mind.
Dr. Manning pointed up toward the ceiling. “You know that small little apartment up there? That’s the break room now.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “That small little apartment housed us and our three kids at one point.”
Dr. Manning’s eyes went wide. “No way! I’m shocked there was enough space for all of you.”
“There really wasn’t,” Charlie said. “Hence the move.”
Dr. Manning nodded. “That makes sense! We should definitely go up there. I’m sure it looks much different now, but are you guys interested in seeing it?”
“Hell yeah,” I said before Charlie could answer.
Dr. Manning led us out of the building and up the stairs I had taken more times than I could count. As soon as she opened the door, the memories came flooding back. Walking in for the first time. Patch eating all of our wedding invitations. Bringing our kids home from the hospital. Watching our kids take their first steps.
Just as the tears started to sting my eyes, I felt a hand slip into mine. “So many great memories here, huh?” Charlie whispered.
I nodded as I continued to take in the apartment. “This is where our family began. Some of my favorite memories are here.”
“All of my best memories have something in common.” Charlie turned toward me and booped my nose. “You’re part of every single one.”
***
With all the good memories there’s bound to be a few that you wish you could forget. After the three graduations fell on different days, we were pretty sure we were the luckiest people on the planet. In fact, I was thinking I was so lucky that I was highly considering playing the lottery. I mean, what are the chances that none of the graduations would fall on the same day?
Plus, our kids were doing great. Olivia had decided to stay in the city after graduation. She wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to do with her marketing degree yet, but she knew New York was where she was meant to do it. She and Jax were still best friends after all these years so they were staying in the apartment they already lived in together.
Ronan and Mallory were moving toward Pittsburgh where Ronan was going to play semi-pro football while she went to school for Occupational Therapy. I didn’t see them having much money over the next few years, but they were both happy, so that was all that mattered to me.
Carter was staying at the University of Pennsylvania to pursue a master’s in Business Analytics. Marcie was moving home with her parents to save money, but the two of them were still very happy together. At least, that’s what we thought.
Just three weeks after graduation, I saw Carter’s car unexpectedly pull into the driveway. I walked outside and waved to her from the front porch. “Hey, sweetie, what’s up? Were you visiting Marcie?”
As Carter walked toward me, she kept her eyes toward the ground and nodded her head.
Very strange. “Is everything okay?”
This time, Carter shook her head, and when she lifted it to look at me, what I saw broke my heart. Her eyes were puffy and her face red and tear-stained. When she reached me, her body began to shake and tears poured from her eyes. “She… she… dumped me. I wanted to start our future together and she… she doesn’t want me anymore.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly right out there on the front porch. A few minutes later, Charlie pulled into the driveway and ran from her car when she saw the scene on the porch.
“What happened?” she asked between gasps of breath.
I mouthed the words “Marcie dumped her,” so Carter didn’t have to hear them spoken out loud like a dagger to her already broken heart.
Charlie immediately began to rub her back. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“Mama,” Carter said as she pulled away from me and fell into Charlie’s arms.
I had never seen her like this—so very broken and lost. I wanted to make it better, but I knew there were two people who could do a much better job than me. I walked upstairs and made a three-way call with Olivia and Ronan, praying they would both actually pick up. Ronan was the first to answer, but it wasn’t long before Olivia answered as well.
“What are you two up to this weekend?” I asked without even saying hello.
“Mallory and I have a ton of unpacking to do,” Ronan answered quickly.
“I don’t have anything that important, but if you’re trying to get me to come home, it’s not happening,” Olivia said. “Jax and I are planning to go out this weekend now that we can finally enjoy the city without worrying about classes.”
Shit . “You know I normally wouldn’t ask you to come home, especially at the last minute, but your sister needs you.”
I had barely gotten the words out when Olivia responded. “I’ll take the first train in the morning.”
“Yeah, fuck unpacking. I’m driving home tonight.”