23. Piper
TWENTY-THREE
Piper
NEW YEAR, NEW BOO
June
Dear Diary,
Hello, old friend. It has been so long since I have written to you. I think about you all the time, but I’ve been so busy. Too busy living my life to write in my diary?! Is this a tragedy, or is it sweet, wonderful irony? Whenever I think I have time to write to you, I realize I haven’t eaten or done laundry or showered either, so I prioritize those things because it seems like the adult-y thing to do. Lainey and Tracy got better at doing the dishes and vacuuming the apartment at least, so I was able to remove those items from my to-do list. But this non-journal-keeping trend has been going on for over half a year! It’s unforgivable, really. You are my touchstone. You’re how I know I’m me! It is my Midyear Resolution to make time to write in my diary every week again. Piper still loves you, Diary. DIAPER 4EVA.
I’m back in NYC for now. Graduated from UCLA last week. Sooooo much has happened this year.
First, I must tell you about my script— How We Got Here . The one I spent all last year writing and polishing in my free time. My passion project!
My boyfriend gave it to his agent. “Boyfriend?!” you ask? Yes, my boyfriend, Holden Everett Archer. AKA my HEA. He read the script on New Year’s Day and emailed it to his agent, Rita Baskin, that same day. Apparently, she is never not working. She dropped everything to read it when Holden told her he found a rom-com script he wanted to star in. She thought he was joking at first, but she read it and loved it.
She sent it to a really big talent and literary manager, Martin Hancock, who everyone calls Mahty Hancock, even though he doesn’t seem to want people to call him that. He is from Australia, and he represents some amazingly funny, handsome people, like Shane Miller (eeeek!) and Owen Brodie! He also reps some really talented writers and directors. Anyway, Rita thought he’d be a good fit for me as a manager and have good instincts for developing this project. He read the script and said that he wanted to represent me and put another junior manager on my team! I have an agent now too, but I mostly talk to my managers. I can’t even believe how lucky I am. I am one of ten undergrads in my department who signed with representation before graduating.
But if I’m being honest, it also doesn’t seem weird? I’ve just kind of always known this was what I was meant to be doing with my life. It was just a matter of waiting for my life to catch up. Once Mom and Dad finally got me the Final Draft software I wanted for my sixteenth birthday, there was no stopping me. LOL. Hi, Mom, in case I ever bring my diary home for a visit.
Anyway, there is so much more news on that front…
Marty Hancock recommended redeveloping my feature film screenplay into a ten-episode-season half-hour romantic-comedy series for a streaming network. Well, what he actually said was “This is an absolute bewdy of a script, Pipah, bloody ripper, but the best chance a rom-com has of gettin’ made nowadays is as a series. Now, don’t chuck a wobbly, love—we’ll help you get this sorted! I swear on my own arse it’ll be bonza, so why don’t ya give it a burl, give it a whirl, ey?! Wadda ya reckon?!” His assistant emailed me right after the meeting to explain what Marty meant, but he’s so handsome and pleasant, I just smiled and said okay to everything!
Holden and his agent thought it was a smart idea to write a pilot episode on spec, plus a pitch deck. There’s actually a bigger audience for this kind of romantic comedy on the small screen now. Things have changed since the days of my queen, Nora Ephron. It’s what she’d be doing now, if she were still around, I think. So I’m glad I agreed. It meant saying goodbye to a vision I had of how things would go and saying hello, possibly, to something even better than I could have Piper-dreamed for myself. Just like with Holden.
Marty helped me develop the first rewrite, and we’ve been cc’ing Holden on everything. And then…Marty got Shane Miller and Owen Brodie’s production companies to option the script!!!!!! Shane and Owen and Owen’s wife, Frankie, all helped me develop another draft of the pilot script, and Frankie Hogan-Brodie will be the head writer of the series, and I’ll get a Created By credit!
All the while, I was finishing up my last term at UCLA. So yeah. I’ve been busy, dear diary. I stayed up really late some nights. Got up at five some mornings. But it was worth it.
Marty Hancock got us a preemptive bid for a development deal with the streaming service that produced their hit show “Funny Business.”
Owen’s brother Miles is an entertainment lawyer, and he negotiated the deal for me. I’ve only talked to him on the phone, but he sounds HAWT in a really grumpy kind of way. Declan insisted on looking over the contracts before I signed them, even though entertainment law isn’t his thing. He seemed kind of jealous that he’s no longer the only attorney in my life—it was sweet.
Holden’s new favorite director, Alex Vega, is going to direct the pilot episode. Oh, and Eddie’s going to play Henry’s brother in the series. It’s typecasting, because Henry’s brother is a butt model who longs to be a respected Shakespearean actor. But no one’s complaining! Now Eddie and I aren’t only related through Maddie and Declan, we’re also related because I’m kind of his boss. Muahahahaha.
Shay Nicholls kept texting and sending me Edible Arrangements to remind me that she would be perfect for the female lead. I told her it would be up to Alex Vega and the casting department. Unfortunately, she has the same agent as Alex, so she does have an in…but Holden has casting approval, so…sad trombone.
Holden has wrapped filming of Tempest Rising . My show will go into production after he’s filmed Alex Vega’s movie and the last installment of the Riders franchise.
This is all bananas.
I haven’t made a huge ton of money on that script sale yet because it’s my first deal, but it’s more than I’ve ever made in my life, obviously. Once it goes into production and starts streaming, I’ll be making a really good living. Meanwhile, Marty is packaging a couple of my other scripts and getting ready to send them out to studios.
In other news, I went to the Westwood premiere of Riders of Storm and Fire: Winds of Change with Holden. I got to meet Rachel Balfour again, and she remembered me from the signing at the Harvard bookstore! It was a little crazy being in a Giorgio Armani dress that the designer gave me to wear for free, and being picked up in a limo, then walking the red carpet with Holden five minutes from my apartment. All these people from campus were in the crowd across the street, screaming to get a look at my boyfriend. That was where I had been, over a year and a half ago, when I showed up in the hopes of seeing Holden Archer. Honestly, we both would have rather stayed home. But the movie is fantastic! I am so proud of Holden’s performance. And OMG it is slaying at the box office.
I went to the movie set a few times on weekends while they were filming book three, and Holden and I FaceTimed every day when we weren’t together. He has certainly made good on his resolution to make sure I know he likes me every single day.
I met his family over spring break and now have a new pen pal named Rory. She calls herself a fan and she calls me her mentor. I just think of her as a sweet and adorable friend. I’ve been giving her notes on her fanfic before she posts her stories.
Holden suggested that when I’m not busy working on the series, I write and self-publish “kissing books for eleven-year-old girls” since I seem to know what they like. I can’t believe I never thought to do that. So that’s what I’m writing now. And I have given Rory the title of consultant.
It has been such a gorgeous whirlwind, and all to the tune of my theme song, “Dreams.”
Oh, and I’m writing this while curled up on the sofa in Holden’s living room in NYC. He wants me to call it “our living room.” I have been staying with him, but I haven’t moved all my stuff in. Yet. We’re still deciding if we should get a place here or in LA. Maybe we’ll be bicoastal.
Apparently, Holden has to go through a trial. A rite of passage.
Well, let’s call it what it is—he has to pass a test.
I am only a little bit terrified for him.
Actually, I’m very worried.
Because Billy Boston is in town for the opening of another one of his Locker Room locations. Eddie is here for a few days too. And neither he nor Holden have to be on camera for the next week, so they’re allowed to drink.
Billy has invited Holden out for a night on the town with him and Declan and Nolan and Eddie…and my dad. “On the town” could mean anything at this point. It could mean New York or Boston or Dublin or anywhere between here and the moon. Billy said to bring his passport.
Holden is excited and determined to win everyone over. I don’t think he has any idea what to expect. And I don’t know who I’m more worried for—him or my dad.
Maddie called to give me a pep talk as soon as she found out. She said it’s best not to answer the phone because conversations don’t make any sense anyway, they’re unlikely to remember them, and the voicemails are important to have for blackmail purposes later. She said to use the time alone to focus on self-care, because Holden will need a lot of attention tomorrow. Expect indecipherable texts, butt dials, and inexplicable, chaotic messages, she said. There may be tears, but the good kind. Have plenty of coffee, electrolytes, toast, and protein with healthy fats available in the morning. She said something about getting Korean pear juice for Declan, but that might not be Holden’s thing.
I feel like I’m in an elite club now, like WAGs. Only the sport is drunken shenanigans.
I just hope Holden makes it out alive.
I love him.
He's my boo, my bestie, my person, my ride-or-die, my main.
Sometimes I forget that he was once my celebrity crush, because he treats me like he’s my number one fan.
I can’t believe the first thing he ever read of mine was an entry from my Extra Super Secret Diary, but I also don’t think I could have a boyfriend who didn’t like my writing. The fact that he was able to see who I am through so many different kinds of writing and platforms? It just goes to show why he’s such a good actor. And that he was a good English lit student. The way he can figure out who someone is through words.
There have been moments when I’d worry that Holden will wish he could be with some beautiful actress, someone who’s more comfortable being in front of all those bright lights and flashing cameras. But it’s never because of anything he says or does. On some level, I’m just so conditioned to expect some kind of conflict, probably because it’s what I’ve been taught in my writing classes, possibly from reading and watching so much romance.
I’m trying to rewrite those storytelling rules. I think that’s why I love Nora Ephron’s movies so much. The heroines aren’t insecure. They don’t have flaws. The kissing books I’m writing for tween girls aren’t going to romanticize angst. I mean, I love a good downbeat montage. And I think it’s really important to teach girls how to navigate the bad and the sad stuff. But there’s so much darkness out there. Why shouldn’t I be the one who shines a light on the swoony good stuff? Like happy coincidences and nice guys with nice butts.
This is my fight song LOL.
I just hope my nice guy with the very nicest butt stays hydrated tonight and makes it home in one piece.
I’m going to go clean the entire bathroom for him now, just in case.