Chapter 1 #2
Nirblob deserves this vacation adventure as much as we do. I’m also working on a surprise celebration to honor him and his heroic efforts that will be held at Vardox’s Cantina once we return home.
Seated in the command chair and wearing an oversized Santa hat on his huge head, Nirblob grins at me. His command station is lined with garlands and bows while strings of Christmas lights hang above us.
“How do you like my Earthling holiday spirit?”
Since tomorrow is Christmas Eve, Kai and I are enjoying our honeymoon over the winter holiday, and I’m super excited about it. It won’t be a conventional Christmas, that’s for sure. But who needs that when you have the opportunity to travel to outer fucking space?
Still, Nirblob’s festive vibes do warm my heart and I smile back. “It looks awesome, man. I’m happy we can bring a feel-good holiday atmosphere with us on our journey.”
Nirblob chortles with obvious delight and taps at his command screen for a moment, then Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” serenades us as Nirblob fires up the ship’s engine.
“Strap yourselves in,” Nirblob says. “We’re airborne in T-minus thirty seconds.”
Kai and I hurry to two open seats that have a good view out the panoramic navigation window and buckle ourselves into the chest and lap harnesses.
“Is it wrong that I’m super fucking giddy right now?” I ask Kai, my legs bouncing where I sit.
He favors me with a heart-stopping smile full of so much adoration it leaves me breathless. “You can be as giddy as you want, my love.”
Kai understands me. He’s the first man I’ve ever been with that accepts all my so-called extra personality quirks, and you bet your sweet ass I appreciate the fuck out of him!
“River, it’s time,” Nirblob intones with all due seriousness.
I nod and say with my best Captain Jean-Luc Picard voice, “Engage.”
One moment we’re on the ground and the next we’re moving through the sky with a sleek speed and smooth trajectory that’s nothing like what I’ve seen in movies when humans are going to outer space.
Our takeoff is downright quiet apart from the Christmas tunes, no shaking involved.
I’m not even convinced that we actually need to be strapped in.
However, I suspect this is mainly a safety precaution in the same way it is on airplanes until you reach cruising altitude.
I can’t help but admire how advanced extraterrestrial ships are compared to Earth vessels.
It’s going to be a very long time until the human race can actually navigate the universe like Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his crew.
Fortunately for me, I’m part of the Alliance of Neutral Alien Lifeforms—aka Team ANAL—and now have special clearance to travel the universe with my hubby-boo.
Yet another bonus of marrying my Iyaran soulmate!
My eyes remain glued to the view window as we enter orbit around the planet. The breathtaking scene leaves me speechless—which never happens to little old motormouth me!
Leaning closer in his seat, Kai wraps a tentacle around me. “What do you think?”
That question manages to kick-start my momentarily stalled brain-to-mouth pipeline. “So fucking cool! Ohmyfreakinggod, I’m really doing it. I’m really traveling to outer space.”
To my complete surprise, tears start streaming down my cheeks.
“Is everything all right?” Kai asks, concern in his voice.
“I-it’s j-just so beautiful and amazing and so much more than I ever could have imagined,” I blubber.
It’s like all my sci-fi nerd dreams are manifesting before my eyes.
Kai sighs in relief. “Your first time witnessing the majesty of the universe is unforgettable, but I’ve found the wonder of it all never really fades.” He reaches over and grasps my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I’m so happy that I can give this experience to you.”
I clutch his hand back tightly but can’t yet take my eyes away from the stunning vista before me. I’m doing my damnedest to carve this memory into my mind forever.
Nirblob swivels his command chair to face us. “I’m afraid we don’t have time for a lot of sightseeing on this journey, but I’m sure there will be other opportunities for you to witness the beauty of different galaxies, nebulas, star systems, and planets someday.”
I give him a thumbs-up. “It’s all good, my friend. Baby steps seem totally appropriate when it comes to space travel. I’ll make all my intergalactic adventure fantasies happen, no matter what!”
“Your eternal optimism is unshakable,” Kai whispers with a smile.
I grin back. “Damn straight, baby.”
Nirblob enters a command into the navigation system and our speed increases exponentially until the stars become blurred trails of light and we leave Earth far behind.
After about ten minutes, he unbuckles his protective belt.
“We’ve reached our cruising altitude, as the humans would say, and will arrive at our destination by morning.
My automated system is guiding our navigation for now, but I will be monitoring our progress along the way.
I’m a veteran when it comes to space travel, so you two can relax and enjoy your evening together.
” He glides toward the door on his skates.
“I’m off to my quarters to video message some of my compatriots who are also en route to the convention. Ta-ta for now.”
“He’s definitely… unique,” Kai says after Nirblob’s gone.
I unbuckle and get to my feet, stretching. “Nirblob marches to the beat of his own space drum. I can relate. Plus, I respect the way he’s unashamed to be one hundred percent himself. I’m the same.”
Kai pulls me into his arms. “I still don’t love the fact that he kidnapped you before, but I’m coming around to liking him, especially after Operation CHAOS.”
I pat him lovingly on the butt. “Good. I knew you would.” I pull back and stare up into his eyes. “So, no weightlessness on alien ships, huh?”
Kai adds another tentacle to his embrace. “Most extraterrestrial species who have mastered space travel have also overcome the challenges of zero gravity in their ship design and technologies. Alas, humans are a long way off from achieving that same accomplishment.”
I lean my head against his chest and sigh happily. “This is like a dream I don’t want to wake up from.”
He strokes my back. “It’s not a dream, darling. I’m taking you on a honeymoon you’ll never forget.”
“Fuck yeah. I am so here for it.”
He chuckles again. “No surprises there. Let’s head back to our room. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, and we need to get plenty of rest.”
As if in a sympathetic response, I let out an unexpected yawn and realize that I am, in fact, exhausted.
It’s not surprising. After all, my life has been more than a smidge chaotic and stressful of late, what with fending off an invasion, beating up Kai’s stupid ex, and finding out my hubby-boo is gestating our future children.
Every time I think about that last one, it’s a total shock to my entire system.
I’m both excited and more than a little terrified about what lies ahead.
Being a parent isn’t easy; I know that for sure.
My own childhood was quite rocky, so I’m determined to create a stable home and family life for our kids.
Thank fuck we have five years before they’ll actually be born. Huzzah for alien biology, baby!
Arm in arm, Kai and I make our way back to Nirblob’s future seduction palace. We undress and turn out the lights, then climb into the massive heart bed, steadfastly ignoring the very obvious restraints installed in the headboard.
I can’t help but giggle. “This kind of reminds me of a scene from a movie.”
“You don’t say,” Kai drawls sarcastically.
I poke his tickle spot, and he grunts. “You know how I love a good kickass action heroine. One who rarely gets her due is Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight. We’ll have to watch it together.”
“Naturally,” Kai says, his voice dry as dust.
I lightly pinch his nipple and he jolts.
“Keep it up, buster. Anyway, the movie’s fun and Geena Davis is a badass.
There’s this scene in the movie when she and Samuel L.
Jackson’s character end up holing up in a hotel that reminds me a hell of a lot of this one.
Very ’70s psychedelic porn set meets love hotel. ”
Kai pulls me in closer and one of his tentacles wraps around my middle. “Just for the record,” he says in a dry tone, “I am not having sex with you in this room.”
I snort. “Thank fuck. That would be way too weird.”
“And I don’t trust Nirblob not to have cameras hidden in here somewhere,” he grumbles.
I playfully smack him on the chest. “Hey, that’s my friend you’re talking about.
” I pause. “Although he is a bit on the pervy side. He identifies with Lord Vardox in more ways than one.” I nestle more snugly into Kai’s reassuring warmth and heave a happy sigh.
“It’s okay, boo. Our honeymoon doesn’t have to be a nonstop fuckfest. We’ll make it what we want.
” I leer and waggle my eyebrows for good measure.
“But there will be plenty of hot sex, for sure.”
Kai chuckles and rubs a hand down my back. “I couldn’t have put it better.”
“Is it too cheesy to say I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you?”
He kisses the side of my neck. “Not at all. I share the sentiment. I will forever be grateful for whatever mysterious force or random coincidence that led us to one another, my darling.”
I wriggle happily. “You’re such a sweet, romantic soul, and I fucking love that.” My voice softens, and I stare into his stunning purple eyes. “Thank you for organizing everything. I know how much thought you put into our honeymoon plans and making this huge dream of mine a reality.”
He leans forward and kisses me. “It was my pleasure. I wanted to do this for you.” His voice deepens. “For us.”
I take one of his hands in mine and bring it to my lips, kissing it tenderly. “Here’s to making magical intergalactic honeymoon memories together.”