Winter
Rathnon fell asleep, but Ilona could nae sleep. Her thoughts were in conflict, preventing her from restful escape.
How is it that I can love him when he stole me completely away from everything I’ve ever known?
If Rathnon truly loves me, shouldn’t he return me to my family?
Ilona’s mind told her one thing while her heart and her body told her other things entirely.
I want Rathnon for my husband. I want to be a good wife to him. But I shouldn’t want him and need him.
My heart has overridden what I thought I ken about myself.
If I tell him I love him, he will expect that I will never try to escape.
It would break my heart to leave him, but I can’t promise him I won’t try.
Now I do nae ken if I could live happily without him.
He will leave again to do the king’s business.
What if he finds a woman he truly loves?
The ladies were a fount of information about her pregnancy.
Ilona’s radiant glow and her growing abdomen gave them joy.
Having children, a source of happiness for women, further validated their roles in society.
Rathnon’s protectiveness of Ilona became even more prominent.
Every day he inquired about how she felt physically.
He remained sensitive and solicitous of her level of energy and increasing needs for rest.
Grateful that today she did nae need to walk to the longhouse, Ilona prepared a mid-morning meal for her and Rathnon.
Afterward, she kept busy with sewing, and when she tired of sewing, she churned butter and made cheese.
Later, Rathnon would take it to the longhouse. He kept a small amount for themselves.
“Today is bitterly cold outside. I’d like for ye to stay inside while I go into the village and work. I do nae want ye to become ill. The winter is colder here than where ye lived. Ye will get used to it.”
“Aye, I understand ye want to protect me. But ye cannae expect me to stay inside alone all day for the rest of winter because it is cold outside. I will stay inside today as ye request.”
Rathnon sensed her ire over the loss of control. He lifted her chin to gaze deeply into Ilona’s eyes.
“I do nae expect ye to stay alone nor inside all the time. I want ye to be happy here, Ilona. Your happiness means the world to me. Just for today. If the wind is nae bitter like today, I’ll take ye to the longhouse. Believe me, most others will stay inside today if their work allows.”
“I ken ye wish to protect me, but I am nae a fragile flower. Ye ken my parents raised me in Scotland, and I worked outside on many cold and wintry days.”
“Aye, I ken. But ye are my flower, and I must protect ye and our bairn. It is icy and slippery. I do nae want ye to fall and hurt yerself or our bairn.” He leaned toward Ilona and pressed a tender kiss to her lips and held her in his arms.
After Rathnon left, Ilona was filled with guilt and shame over her anger that she had expressed openly. She kent he took his role as her protector seriously, but during her pregnancy, her emotions threatened to engulf her. She did nae wish to appear weak in front of Rathnon.
To her frustration, she could nae trust her body or her emotions anymore.
One of the older ladies later reassured her that vacillating emotions were common during pregnancy, and candidly expressed what to expect during pregnancy and later in childbirth.
She assured her there were a couple of women who were midwives to assist her during her birthing process in the spring.
“It is normal to be concerned about what may happen when ye go into labor and give birth to yer bairn,” said Sigrid in Gaelic.
“Ye can ask me or the midwife any questions ye have.. Labor goes better for both the bairn and the mother if the mother is relaxed as much as possible. I ken being away from home and yer family may cause ye more concern during this time. Ask any of the women about yer concerns to be reassured. When ye go into labor, Liv will take ye into the healer’s house to help ye with a midwife.
I’m happy to attend ye as well, if ye like. ”
“Thank ye, Sigrid. Ye help me feel more at ease.”
Days later, Ilona distributed wool to families to make warm clothes and for additional blankets. She felt it was the least she could do for their welcome and care. Men and women alike appreciated her beautiful weaving and also the garments she created from the wool that she made at the loom.
After Rathnon shot a deer, she prepared a portion with her grandmother’s recipe in a huge iron pot. She wanted to cook for her husband and care for him. When done cooking, she asked Rathnon to carry the heavy pot, with its lid on, to the longhouse for dinner.
While Rathnon ventured into the village, Ilona baked rye bread into large loaves. Shortly after she removed the bread from the oven, Rathnon returned to escort her to the longhouse for their evening meal.
Everyone enjoyed the venison stew and rye bread Ilona made, and they thanked her for the food. Rathnon’s spark of pride and his expressions as he ate her grandmother’s stew recipe brought her the most joy.
On another dark and cold winter night, the group shared an evening of tall tales and stories over their dinner and whiskey.
The fire glowed, and Ilona basked in the nearness of her husband at her side.
Tucked into their beds, the wee bairns slumbered, while the older children listened in rapt wonder as their elders shared Norse tales.
Candles flickered and shadows danced across the faces of the elders sharing stories for the edification of all.
Ilona appreciated the tales new to her but held other tales her grandmother had read to her in her heart.
Rathnon and Ilona bundled up against the cold and, taking a lantern with them, retraced their steps to their home.
Days later, Ilona spun yarn and wound it into balls.
Afterward, she worked the loom and wove the wool yarn into warm and thick cloth.
Women envied her skill at weaving and her artistry in selecting colors to blend into various designs.
Little did they ken she wove her worries and hopes into each cloth.
Mayhap her hopes would erase or mitigate her worries and fears.
Will he ever let me return home, even to visit?
It saddened her; Ilona feared she would never see her parents again.
Rathnon had completed the second bed, and placed it in the other bedroom. The beautiful carving he’d completed with Ivar’s help included forests, deer, two wolves, mountains in the background, and a star. Ilona fell in love with the carvings on the headboard.
“Ye did an amazing job carving this bed, Rathnon. It is more beautiful than the one I had made for us.”
“Thank ye, Ilona. Yers is beautiful, and I find peace in your arms in our bed. But we need to try out this bed to ken how comfortable it is,” he said with an inviting twinkle in his eye.
He lavished kisses upon his wife and laid her gently on the unmade bed.
He took his time in pleasuring her, and he kent all her secret places that made her cry out for him.
When they had finished, Ilona lay half undressed and blushing in his arms.
“I think it will do, husband, do ye nae?”
“I think we may need to test it a few more times,” he said with a wicked smile.
In the past, they had invited Sigrid to come share their home, but she insisted they live privately for now. “After yer bairn is born, I agree to stay with ye to help ye.”
“Ye are welcome anytime, Sigrid. Ye do nae need an invitation,” Ilona said. Gratitude filled Rathnon’s heart, kenning Ilona cared deeply for his aunt.
Gradually, the winter storms gave way to early spring rains.
Initially, the days remained dark and intense, with stormy skies and leaden clouds.
But every day, Rathnon and Ilona were grateful for the cocoon of their love and their physical relationship, which intensified their feelings.
When Rathnon left for work, Ilona worried about him.
After dinner, when they were alone in their home, Ilona read a book Rathnon had brought back from his travels.
Other evenings, she sewed by the light of the hearth and lanterns.
Rathnon whittled and carved wooden handles for blades or tools.
At times he joined Ilona in reading a book too, until he scooped her up in his arms and took her to bed.
As a young warrior, Rathnon had great stamina, but as Ilona’s pregnancy advanced, he took care to make her comfortable in their lovemaking positions.
After their lovemaking, Ilona enjoyed snuggling and talking with Rathnon.
Overwhelmed by his feelings of love for Ilona, his love for her grew day by day.
Never had he experienced such feelings with another woman.
Particular about the women he had lain with in the past, his reputation as a man did not depend on his conquests of women. Rathnon did not care for men boasting of their prowess in seducing women. His reputation as a fearless and fierce warrior spoke for itself.
Unbeknownst to Ilona, Rathnon had been working in secret with Ivar to build and carve a large wooden cradle.
The carving alone was taking months, never mind building the rocking cradle.
He gave a lot of thought to the carvings.
Ultimately, he thought he would carve part of his journey to discover Ilona on Orkney and their journey here.
A carving such as this would blend the common aspects of their backgrounds.
When he reflected on his intense search for a woman to love and take as a wife, he was grateful for Ilona.
Rathnon had almost given up on his search.
Unable to imagine his life without Ilona, he contemplated what that loss would be like.
Ilona illuminated his life—she was his light and his love.
Finally, with Ilona at his side, he could sleep well throughout the night.
Rarely now did he experience nightmares from the many battles he had fought.
For interminable years, he didn’t think he would overcome the darkness in his past.
Rathnon loved and appreciated Ilona and the love she shared with his clan. Rathnon wanted to lavish his love on her in many memorable ways. Rathnon built a web of love to ensnare Ilona’s heart, for her love to bloom, and never want to leave him ever again.
Every day he battled against a voice in his head that whispered, She will still try to escape you. He held a vision for their love, life, and family, and he wanted to share it with Ilona.
Rathnon could rid himself of his nocturnal demons tormenting him when he made love to Ilona and lost himself in their passion. He had no fear in battle. His only fear was losing Ilona. His heart was already hostage since he had lost it to her.