Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
LEXI
THEN
I always knew Jay would be angry when he found out about Ryan and I hooking up behind his back. However, watching Jay punch Ryan and then both of them leaving me alone in the clubhouse wasn’t on my list of expectations. I sat back down on Ryan’s bed and buried my face in my hands and began crying. I felt the bed dip beside me as someone sat next to me and their hand went to my back and began rubbing small circles. I could smell her floral perfume from beside me so I knew it was Bella.
“Come on, baby Davis. Let’s get you home,” I heard Haz say. His voice sounded close enough that it wasn’t a surprise when I felt his hand land on my knee. I removed my hands and opened my eyes and saw him kneeling in front of me rubbing his thumb on my knee and Bella’s comforting hand resting on my back pulling me into her.
I nodded at Haz because I was unable to trust words coming out of my mouth and he stood up and held out his hand for me to stand. Haz walked in front of me and kept hold of my hand to make sure I stayed behind him while walking through the clubhouse and Bella remained at my side. Most of the Vipers looked at us as we walked through, but no questions were asked. I’m sure they all heard the fight so they could already assume what had happened.
I had been getting over my fear of bikes since being on the back of both Jay and Ryan’s, so I let Haz drive me home on the back of his bike and I felt just as safe on his as I did on the others. The boys must have spoken about me being anxious at some point because every red light we stopped at Haz would turn around and ask if I was okay.
Once we arrived at my house, I gave Haz a hug and headed inside for a hot shower. After I had washed all my makeup off and thrown my hair up into a messy bun, I changed into some comfy clothes. I walked over to my bedside table and touched the screen of my phone to see if Jay or Ryan had messaged or called. It’d been two hours since they both left the clubhouse and I hadn’t heard from either of them since. I was past the point of worrying. I tried to lay on my pillow and fall asleep, but I couldn’t sleep. I decided to grab my headphones and head outside to sit on our front porch swing. I pulled the blanket that I kept out here over my legs and rested my head on the pillows before turning on my favorite playlist and scrolling through the apps on my phone to pass the time.
* * *
T he moment I saw the headlights pull into the driveway and light up the porch, I sat up quickly and removed my headphones just as the two engines turned off. I stayed sitting on the porch swing as Jay walked up the porch steps first with Ryan following behind him as he kept his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.
“I’ll let you two talk,” Jay said quickly as he smiled at me before walking inside.
Ryan was leaning against the porch railing next to me and he crossed his ankles over each other. He didn’t have a hat on which was an unusual sight for him because he usually always had a backwards hat that held his dark hair off his face and out of his eyes. Tonight the long strands were falling on his face. It must have bothered him because he reached one hand up and ran it through his hair to brush it off his face.
I sat up a little bit more and moved the blanket before patting the seat beside me for him to sit down. He took three steps and reached the swing and fell into it beside me. He took up more room than I did and I felt his leg brush against mine. I turned around and leaned against the arm rest and he took my feet and put them over his lap.
“Are you going to tell me where you two disappeared tonight?” I asked to break the silence as he ran his hand softly up my bare shins.
“We just had some work to do for the club. I’m sorry for bailing on your party, Lex.” He looked over at me and frowned and I could tell he did actually feel guilty.
“Do you seriously think I care about the party? You left me. You didn’t say a word and then you and Jay just left. I have been so worried about both of you all night.” He took a deep breath before leaning his head back on the pillows. “I worry about Jay all the time. Every single time he leaves here on his bike I worry. But do you know the one thing that I remember to keep myself calm? It’s that he has you to protect him, to keep him safe.”
“Lex—” He turned his face to me to speak but I put my hand up to stop him.
“The issue now is that I worry about the both of you. I can’t just think that you’re there to protect him, because I need him to protect you just as much.”
Ryan sat up and put his hands around my legs and pulled me closer to him. “We will always protect each other, Lex. I promise you that.” He put a hand under my chin and lifted my face so I was looking into his eyes. “We have each other’s backs out there, no matter what.”
“You two were fighting, Ry. What about when you two are fighting over something stupid like me? Do you have each other's backs then?”
“You’re not something stupid. You are the reason we will continue to look out for each other.” He raised his hand to brush a bit of my hair behind my ear but kept his hand on the side of my face.
“Besides, Jay and I made up. As long as I don’t hurt you, which I don’t plan on doing, we are still friends.”
“He’s okay with us doing whatever this is?” I waved my hand between us and he tilted his head down and let out a soft chuckle.
“He’s okay with this. What exactly is this?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to answer. I could have been honest and said how I felt, but what if he didn’t feel the same and then I totally blew it?
“What do you want this to be?” I avoided answering the question by turning it around on him so now he could be the one to answer. That way if he wanted something different to what I was thinking, I could just go along with it without embarrassing myself.
“I think about you every second of every day and I don’t want to go another day without being able to call you mine, Lexi.”
I was speechless. I half expected him to say this was just a fling but for him to openly admit that he wants me, I wasn’t expecting that.
“Fuck, did I go too hard too fast?” He pressed two fingers to his temple and I reached out and put my hand on the back of his neck and leaned in closer to him so our lips weren’t quite touching but they brushed against each other as I spoke.
“I am yours, Ryan Blake.”
On my last word he closed the gap between us and pressed our lips together and just like every other time that we had kissed, I felt it through my whole body.