Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LEXI
NOW
I had to practically force Ryan to leave my house so he could make it to the Viper meeting on time. Haz had been waiting outside for over ten minutes, but Ryan wasn’t ready to leave and honestly, I wasn’t ready for him to leave either. It felt just like the first time I let myself fall for Ryan Blake; there were no slow movements when it came to falling for him. It was hard and fast and I was still trying to ignore the little voice in the back of my head that was yelling at me to be careful and to not let him get close to me again because I would not survive if something were to happen to him.
I could hear Haz as he yelled from the front yard. Ryan rolled his eyes from the hallway as he slipped his leather cut over the top of his black shirt. I opened the front door and we walked down the stairs together towards where he had parked his bike last night.
“About time,” Haz called out. “We’re going to have to break a few road rules to make it on time now brother.” Ryan stuck his middle finger up at him before pulling me closer to him and kissing me once more.
“When do you follow the road rules?” I asked Haz and he responded with a laugh as he shrugged his shoulders. I watched as the two bikes reversed out the driveway and disappeared down the street. It felt strange to watch two bikes leave the house again. I never thought I’d say it, but I had missed the distinct sound of a Viper Harley.
I was almost at my front door when I heard a soft voice call out to me. I looked to my right and noticed Leanne, my dad’s neighbor, walking over to me. She was wearing a colorful apron tied around her waist and she held a glass casserole dish covered in foil in her hands.
“How are you, my dear?” she asked as she reached me. Her hand reached out one hand to softly touch my elbow. There was a slight chill to the air which became more obvious the longer I stood outside in my thin shirt, short pants and no shoes.
I invited her inside and as we stepped through the lounge room, I noticed Ryan left his jumper on the couch. I grabbed it and slid it on over my shirt. I pulled the sleeves over my hands and brought them up to my nose. It smelt just like him, the faint smell of cigarette smoke mixed with his woodsy cologne. I already missed him.
“It’s really nice to see that he still comes here,” Leanne said as she put the casserole dish down on the kitchen bench. She stared down at the jumper in my hands.
I frowned. “I’m sorry, who still comes here?” I grabbed two teacups out of the cupboard and poured some hot water in them along with a teabag. I passed Leanne her tea and took a sip of my own.
“The handsome boy on the bike,” she said as if the answer was obvious.“Remember dear, I told you your father had a visitor every Tuesday. Although he seems to be visiting more than just Tuesday’s now.” She laughed before taking another sip of her tea. I remembered her telling me that when we first met but I thought that she meant Preston. If it wasn’t Preston, did she mean Ryan was visiting my dad every week while I’d been away?
“Are you saying that Ryan is the boy on the loud bike that was visiting my dad? Are you sure?”
“That boy that was here this morning. He is definitely the one that visited your dad. I wasn’t sure of his name.”
“I didn’t know he visited. Ryan’s dad is a longtime family friend so I assumed it was him, not Ryan.” I played with the sleeves of Ryan’s jumper as I took in what Leanne had just told me. “Why would my dad not tell me?” I felt my eyes fill with tears. I wasn’t upset that Ryan came here; quite the opposite, actually. I was relieved to know he was looking out for my dad when I wasn’t here, but I felt guilty that I wasn’t around.
“I suppose he was worried about your response. Judging by that kiss goodbye I witnessed on the front lawn just now, I’m guessing there’s some history there?”
“History doesn’t even begin to cover it. I loved him. I still love him.” It was the first time I had said that in present tense and out loud. It felt good to finally admit it to someone other than myself.
“I think it’s pretty safe to say that if he was visiting your dad every week and being here for you now, he never stopped loving you either, Lexi.”
* * *
O nce Leanne left, I let myself fall onto the couch. My body and my mind were exhausted from all the different emotions over the last few weeks and I looked around the room and thought about what Ryan said about the house looking empty last night. There were a few boxes piled up, and the house felt lifeless. The house needed cheering up as much as I did. I got up off the couch and had a shower before getting changed into some jeans and driving myself to the shops.
When I arrived back home, the small rental car I had been driving was overflowing with bags of different things for the house. There were throws, pillows, new sheets, new towels and decor. Everything. The whole house was getting a makeover. It took me three trips to get it all inside the house and to start with I dumped it all in the lounge room.
I turned on my favorite upbeat playlist on the speaker and finished off putting the things I wasn’t keeping in the house into boxes before taking them outside and lining them all up on the front porch. The left-hand side of the porch was full of the things I was throwing away while the right-hand side was the things I wanted to keep in storage. I made a mental note to ask Ryan to bring his truck around one day to help me get rid of the boxes and take them to a storage unit.
The lounge room and the kitchen were the easiest rooms to decorate. I replaced the old brown rug on the lounge room floor with a shaggy white one. I changed the frames on some of the family photos that dad had hanging on the walls and then I decorated the gray couch with some pillows and a white throw blanket.
I stood in the doorway and looked around my dad’s bedroom. If I did stay in Haven Cove, it would make sense for me to take over this bedroom, since it’s the largest in the house. It felt strange to be packing away my dad’s belongings and personal items, almost as though I was invading his privacy. I walked over to the bed and stripped the sheets, throwing them into a pile on the floor. I moved the mattress off the bed and pushed it up against the wall and started to disassemble the metal double bed frame. I needed to turn this room into a modern master bedroom and that meant a new bed and new furniture. I sat on the now empty floor among the metal bars and wooden planks as I searched online for a bed frame I liked and paid for it to be delivered. The new bed and mattress was going to take three days to arrive which meant this room would have to remain half-finished for now.
Just as I went to lock my phone, I saw an incoming FaceTime call come through from Katie. She had constantly been checking in to make sure I was okay and I knew that I needed to finally tell her about Ryan. I answered the call and her face filled my screen. Her curly brown hair was resting on her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear, showing off her gold earrings.
“Lexi Davis, are you wearing a boy’s jumper?” she said as she tried to take a closer look through the phone. I looked down at the large jumper that covered my body. I had forgotten that I had put it back on when I got home. “Have you met someone?”
“There’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” I brought my knees closer to my chest and rested my chin on them as I held the phone in front of me. Katie sat quietly until I was ready to speak.
“I didn’t just meet someone. I met someone six years ago. His name is Ryan. He was my boyfriend when I lived here last.”
“I told you!” I heard Josh say loudly from beside Katie. She rolled her eyes and moved the phone over so I could see his face.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, confused.
Katie laughed and pushed Josh’s head to the side. “When you first moved in, Josh was certain that you had a boyfriend and I always told him you didn’t.”
“Well, I didn’t. Ryan and I broke up when I left Haven Cove.”
“But you never stopped loving him, did you?” Katie narrowed her eyes at me, like the answer was obvious.“You were never fussy with guys. Your heart was just already taken.”
I nodded in response. I felt guilty that I hadn’t opened up to her in the past. There have been times when I could have mentioned it but I always thought it would be easier to hide my past instead of face it.
“What does this mean, Lex? Are you going to stay in Haven Cove or come home?”
When she said the word ‘home’, it made me think back to what Ryan said the morning after the funeral. Haven Cove was home. That was where my family was and where my heart was and my mind went straight to Ryan. He’d just come back into my life and I didn’t think I could just pack up and leave him again.
“I think I am home, Katie,” I whispered. “Haven Cove is where I need to be right now. I’m so sorry”
“Don’t apologize for being happy, Lexi. This just means that Josh and I need to come out and visit so we can meet this boyfriend of yours. We need to make sure he looks after you.”
“You are both welcome here anytime. I will have a spare bedroom set up just for you.”
“There’s always a place here for you too. Lexi, if you ever change your mind,” she promised.
After I said goodbye to Katie and Josh, I looked around the room again. I meant what I said to Katie; this was where I needed to be right now. It was time I faced my fears and let Ryan in. I had lost so many people in my life and whilst I thought that not being with him would mean it would hurt less if something happened to him, I realized not being with him was hurting just as much. I wanted to be here, and I wanted Ryan.