Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The embers in the hearth smoldered and crackled as they consumed all they could to not be snuffed out. They threw long shadows across the stone walls, which pulled Theo from his slumber. His body ached, and he clung to the blanket as the golden morning light filtered through the shutters.
Rolling to his side, he tried to reject the call of the new day. He wanted to go back to the warm embrace of his dreams, where Lavina teased and tormented him with her ample curves and seductive smirk. Unfortunately, the day couldn’t be held back.
He groaned quietly as he shifted on the fur-lined rug by the fire. His back ached, making him wonder just how many more nights Lavina would keep him sleeping on the floor. If it was going to be much longer, he was going to have to bring in a couch.
The floor was unforgiving, making every muscle in his back scream with pain. It didn’t matter which way he stretched; there was pain and discomfort. His makeshift bed offered little chance for sleep, but the kink in his neck tormented his thoughts.
No, it was the soft sound of her breathing.
He closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment. It was too easy to envision slipping into the bed and nestling next to her warm body.
He pulled in a deep breath as his other senses stirred. His manhood twitched with an eagerness that snapped him out of the fantasy. Immediately, his gaze shot to the bed, where the gentle rustle of sheets alerted him to her movements.
He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to move to the bed and slip his hand under the sheets. The thought of being able to touch her thrilled him. But as he found himself drawn to her, he couldn’t bring himself to disturb her.
Lavina was curled up in the center of the bed, tangled in the heavy covers. Her hair spilled across her cheek like a curtain separating them.
Theo’s eyes shifted to her chest and watched as it rose and fell with each slow, steady breath. Her face, which was usually set in stubborn resolve or biting wit, was now soft with the deep slumber.
She took his breath away as he studied the faint shadows her lashes cast over her cheeks.
The second she stirred, he jolted back, unwilling to disturb her. She was so peaceful like this, not to mention quiet.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like her voice; it was the fact that he had grown weary of the constant accusations. He wished he knew what he could do to make her believe him. But until he brought her proof, he would have to deal with her anger.
“Rest easy, lass. You’re safe, just as I promised,” he whispered, aching to touch her.
But he knew the moment he gave in to temptation, it would ignite a fire within him he wouldn’t be able to put out. But, for the first time in years, he started to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t quell the desires raging within him.
After all, she didn’t recoil from him as others did. And as much as he wanted to steal kisses from her while she slept, he had to remind himself that he wanted the kisses to be gifts for him to cherish. So he pulled back, turned on his heel, and made a beeline for the door.
“Theo…” Lavina’s voice was soft and distant, but it caused him to freeze.
He glanced over his shoulder at her, his hand wrapped around the knob.
Lavina turned her head and murmured something in her sleep.
Theo’s chest tightened as he found himself hanging on her every breath as if it were a lifeline. Her brow creased ever so slightly as she curled her fingers against her chest like a child holding tight to a dream.
And in that vulnerable moment, lust pricked him.
He let out a slow breath and turned back to the door, trying to fight through the longing jabbing at his senses.
Ye have a lifetime. Patience… Soon, I’ll nae have to steal any kisses from ye. Ye’ll give them to me freely.
He stood tall then, raking a hand through his tousled hair, and took one last look at her. She was peaceful, alive, and utterly unaware of how deeply she was already rooted in his thoughts.
He slowly pulled the door open and whispered, “Have a good day, Lavina.”
The click of the latch was faint as he slipped out into the corridor. He wanted to stay there with her and watch her wake up, but the day ahead was full of tasks that needed his attention.
The only problem he could foresee was the fact that Lavina dominated his thoughts. There was no way he was going to be able to put her out of his mind now, not when it was clear that she was dreaming of him.
In what way, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But just hearing his name on her lips without the irritation that she sprinkled like seasoning on her words made his heart skip a beat.
Maybe today will be a good day.
“Ye’ll see that we need to reinforce the fences in this part of the field. I dinnae ken how else the cattle are gettin’ out other than that spot right there,” Stephen said, tapping his finger on the map as he walked alongside Theo down the dreary corridor.
The midday sun slanted through the narrow windows of the keep as voices drifted through the corridor and rose from the kitchen.
“Let’s get Roger on that,” Theo said, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “I think he is most capable of locating the lost cattle. What else do I need to ken?”
“We need to pull up the west field. Last year, we grew peppers in that field, and they didnae do so well,” Stephen reported as he shifted the papers and books in his arms. Their booted steps echoed through the corridor leading to the east wing.
The sketches in his hand flapped gently as he walked. Each sketch had notes to the side to give the council a clear idea of next season’s planting. The last thing he wanted was for the herbs to end up in the wrong field again.
“Is that field nae due for a rest?” Theo asked.
He pulled one of the books from Stephen’s arm and flipped through the pages.
“See, there. Make sure that this parcel isnae touched this year. It needs to rest. We’ll do the plantin’ in the west field, and dinnae plant peppers.
Nay one cared for them. I say this year we focus on tubers. ”
“Aye, I think the scullery maid will thank ye for that,” Stephen said with a light chuckle. “But may I also suggest that we plant barley where we planted the turnips? I think the crops will fare better that way.”
Theo grunted as he bobbed his head. “Aye, but can we keep the deer out this year? Last year, as I recall, we lost nearly half the harvest due to those pests.”
“Aye, but we had plenty of meat, did we nae? So, I think that’s a win-win situation.
I dinnae ken about ye, but I’ll take deer and elk over something green any day of the week,” Stephen declared.
“But what if ye put yer wife out there in the field? I’m sure with her temper, she’ll be able to scare off anything within a ten-mile radius. ”
Theo shot him a look, but it faded quickly as they neared the open arch of the sitting room. Bouts of laughter drifted out of the room like tiny bells, catching his ear. He slowed down and motioned for Stephen to do the same.
Peering through the crack in the door, Theo spotted them. The girls were sitting in a circle: Lavina, Maisie, and Amber.
His chest tightened. Never in all the time Amber had been living with him had he seen her smile. And yet, here she was, giddy as any girl should be.
His attention shifted to Lavina, who was sitting on the floor beside the hearth, with her skirts tucked beneath her and her head tilted as she spoke softly to Amber.
The child sat cross-legged between her and Maisie, a small woven doll resting in her lap. Maisie held up a small board with letters carved into it and tapped one with her finger, then said, “Fox.”
Amber’s mouth opened slightly.
Theo held his breath. The anticipation clung to him like dew to the first flower of spring. He leaned closer, praying he wouldn’t miss the child’s first word. And for a moment, just a heartbeat, he thought he heard something slip from the girl’s lips. It wasn’t a word, but merely a sound.
The hope seeped out of him just as quickly as it had filled him. His eyes remained on his daughter as he watched her little mouth open and close once again, only to be greeted with more silence.
“She was so close,” Stephen whispered.
Theo glanced at him before stepping back quietly from the door, something fragile twisting in his chest.
Stephen, noticing the sudden change in his mood, raised an eyebrow. “Is there something wrong? Do ye nae want the lass to learn how to read?”
Theo didn’t answer right away. He turned his attention to the empty corridor for a moment as if something had caught his eye. “Lavina’s got it in her head that she can teach Amber how to speak.”
“And ye dinnae think she can help?” Stephen asked.
Theo shook his head. “It doesnae matter what I think.”
“Sure it does. Or do ye think Amber isnae capable?”
“It’s nae that,” Theo said, shaking his head again.
Stephen let out a short snort of disbelief. “This is a good thing. Ye ken as well as I do that Amber has barely let the kitchen maids near her. Most days, she’s in the rafters like a bloody church mouse. Her bein’ out with people is progress. These sorts of things take time.”
“And how would ye ken that?” Theo asked, arching a suspicious eyebrow. “’Tis nae as if ye have any children of yer own.”
“There’s a reason for that,” Stephen replied. “I do better without the burden of a family. Think about it for a moment. If I had a family of me own, would I be here to serve ye? Nay. But I do have a sister, and she’s got bairns. More than I’d like. But that’s beside the point.”
“What is yer point?” Theo grunted, getting irritated and antsy.
“Give it time. To me, it seems Lavina is holdin’ up her end of the deal. Amber is out in public. Let’s see how she does in a few more days.”
The torches lining the Great Hall had already been lit, casting an orange glow over the stone as twilight settled over the keep.
The sky outside had turned to a deep shade of purple, with just the last hints of sun painting the horizon a fiery red.
The wind carried the scent of heather and smoke that was familiar and faintly comforting.
Theo strode through the corridor, his boots scuffing quietly against the worn floor as he made his way toward the hall. His stomach growled, but his thoughts were on Lavina.
He hadn’t seen her since midday. Or Amber. Or Maisie. And that unsettled him more than he cared to admit.
Pausing near the main staircase, he glanced toward the corridors branching off the Great Hall. He strained his ears, hoping to catch any sign or sound of Lavina.
With no sign of them, his brow creased.
“Stephen,” he called the second he spotted his man-at-arms moving to the dining hall.
“Me Laird,” Stephen replied, bowing. “It is me pleasure to serve ye.”
Theo narrowed his eyes and shook his head at the man’s pompousness. “Have ye seen Lavina or Maisie?”
Stephen scratched the back of his head. “Nae since earlier when they were tryin’ to coax a word out of the lass.”
Theo arched an eyebrow as he caught sight of the lass lurking in the shadow of the staircase. He wondered what mischief Stephen was up to.
A giggle sounded, causing Stephen to purse his lips.
“What are ye doin’?” Theo asked, folding his arms over his chest and studying him closely.
“Just showin’ the lass around,” Stephen replied with a wink. “She wanted to see me blade.”
“I’m sure she did,” Theo said with a shake of his head. “Just keep yer eyes peeled, will ye? And if ye manage to find them before me, send word. It’s almost as if they’re playin’ hide and seek with me.”
“Sounds to me like the lasses are growin’ on ye?” Stephen teased, a twinkle in his eyes.
Theo shrugged as he moved closer to the staircase. “Perhaps a wee bit,” he answered, glancing at the shadows and the girl.
The eagerness in her gaze stirred the jealousy within him. Oh, how he wished for that sort of love and affection.
He had to turn away and leave them as his mind filled with images of Lavina showing him such affection.
He let out a heavy sigh when he caught a movement in the corridor that led to the gardens. His chest tightened at the sight of skirts fluttering away.
Stepping closer to the window, he peered out of the dirty glass. And his heart leaped into his throat.
There she was.
In the fading light, Lavina kneeled beside a bed of half-blooming roses. Her hair was braided and fell over her left shoulder. Beside her, Amber clutched a small stick and shoved it into the moist soil near the plant.
It was the expression on Amber’s face that caused Theo to press his nose to the glass. She was smiling, and her smile beamed even brighter than Lavina’s.
It may not have been wide or obnoxious, but it was real and undeniably genuine.
Maisie was kneeling next to Lavina, her fingers spreading the soil meticulously.
The very sight of them was overwhelming. Something deep within stirred, and his ears rang with the sound of Amber’s giggle as Maisie jumped when a bug sprang out of the bush.
His chest tightened. For a moment, he felt as if he were spying on something he had no business looking at.
“Well now, isnae that a fine sight to behold,” Stephen drawled, coming up behind him.
Theo nodded slowly, his arms crossed over his chest.
It was a fine sight. But it was also painful.
There, in the garden, they looked like a family. Despite how different they looked, they fit perfectly together. A strange, mismatched little family of wounded hearts finding their place in the world.
Theo tilted his head and heaved out a sigh as his eyes caught sight of his reflection. He wasn’t there with them. He was on the other side of the window, a stranger looking in, stealing the warmth of their glow until they pushed him away.
A small part of him wanted to go to them. He wanted to kneel beside Amber and help her plant the next row of flowers. But he didn’t move. The thought of ruining their moment kept him rooted to the spot.
Stephen glanced at him. “Why dinnae ye go join them?”
Theo’s lips curled into a faint, sad smile. “Because they look happy. I’ll only scare the lass.”
He looked back out the window, the fading light wrapping them in a golden hue that seated itself in his memory.
“And I’m nae sure I belong to that kind of joy.”
Stephen didn’t argue. He simply rested a hand on Theo’s shoulder, then turned, leaving him standing in the quiet, watching from the shadows, where his longing felt safest.