Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
I never thought anal sex with a guy could feel so good. Even though I’m sore after my sex marathon with Arkin, it’s a good sore, like after a good gym session.
What surprised me the most was how natural it felt.
And even though I was nervous, I never felt worried or awkward about letting a guy top me. It felt like it was always meant to happen. Sooner or later.
Arkin is at the garden center with my dad, and Neriah is in her room. I chew my lip as I hover by the patio door, debating whether to pry. Mum is kneeling before a flowerbed, wiping the sweat from her brow with her gloved hand. As the door slides open and I step outside, she smiles at me over her shoulder.
“Off to see your friends?”
“Not today,” I reply, sauntering across the lawn with my hands in my pockets to prevent me from fidgeting. Mum doesn’t notice my unease.
I crouch beside her, sifting through the soil and pulling out a few weeds while she digs a hole for a new plant. “So, Mum,” I start, wetting my lip as the sun beats down on us from above. “You never told me about Arkin.”
Mum’s movements slow. “His story is not mine to tell.”
Irritated by her response, I toss the large weed with its long, fine roots into the buckets behind us. “The guy sleeps in my room, Mum. I deserve some answers.”
“Zachary,” she says, sounding tired, but I interrupt her.
“No… You invited a stranger into our home, into my bedroom. I deserve to know about him. You owe me that much.”
Mum puts her gardening tool down, removes the colorful plant from its plastic tray, and inserts it into the hole she dug. Then she scoops more soil over the top and pats it down while I wait for her to tell the truth. Something I can work with.
I’m falling for a guy I know nothing about. It’s slowly driving me insane.
“You want us to bond. You’ve got to help me here.”
She removes her gloves with a sigh. “Arkin’s parents passed away in a car collision when he was very young. After that, he was taken in by a distant uncle and his wife. He also has two younger twin siblings, a sister and a brother.”
I swat a wasp away that flies too close to my ear. “What happened?”
Mum puts the gloves down almost gingerly. “The kids were homeschooled for years. Their situation was awful. No one knew what was going on in that home.”
My brows knit together. “Mum?”
“Arkin was the oldest. One day, he escaped through a window and ran to the nearest house for help. The police arrived at the property and found his brother chained to the bed, naked except for an adult diaper. God knows how long he’d been there. Who does that to a kid, Zach? His sister was locked in a dog crate in the kitchen. She was emaciated—they all were—with infected wounds on her wrists and ankles.”
“And Arkin?” I ask shakily. “Was he…”
“The poor boy dislocated his own thumb to escape his handcuffs.”
I topple onto my ass. “Fuck…”
“Arkin knows how to talk but keeps his voice close to his heart. It’s part of his trauma.”
“What happened to him afterward?”
“He’s older than the other two. Fewer people want to adopt older children, and rarely a group of siblings. They were eventually separated, and Arkin stayed in a children’s group home for a while.” She shrugs, squinting up at the clear sky above. “But he’s eighteen now.”
Elbows on my knees, I bury my head in my hands. “So, you took him in?”
“He needs a safe home until he can find his feet. A bright kid like him, on the cusp of adulthood, just needs the right support.” She puts her small hand on my shoulder. “We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you to hear it from us. Arkin will tell you himself one day. That’s what we’re hoping for.”
“What about his siblings?”
“They were adopted a few years back. That’s where Arkin and your dad are now. Visiting his brother and sister.”
I lift my head, eyes wide. “Dad said he was taking Arkin to the garden center.”
Mum strokes my hair affectionately. “They’re dropping by B&Q on the way back.”
My chest tightens. I’m the biggest arse to have ever existed. Arkin was abused for years and unable to protect his siblings from a fucking monster. Now, his regular nightmares and the way he sometimes flinches at sudden movement make a whole lot of sense.
What do I do with this information? What happened between us last night felt right, but now I feel awful for treating him like shit, for taking advantage of him full stop.
“I wish you would have told me,” I say to Mum as I stand on shaky legs. “You should have said something.”
“I’m sorry.” She squints up at me with a regretful smile. “You’re right, Zachary. We should have prepared you better.”
My head spins as I cross the lawn and enter the house. Once I’m out of sight, I slump against the nearest wall. What the fuck have I done? There’s all this shame and regret swirling low in my gut, but there’s also toxic rage simmering at the thought of his sick uncle hurting him. I should have asked my mum what happened to the uncle.
He's rotting in jail, right? Fuck, I hope so. I hope they beat him fucking senseless for laying his hands on kids.
I fist my hands and slide down the wall. There are so many questions I want to ask, but the only man I want answers from won’t talk to me. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
My chest throbs with a deep-seated ache. Roots buried so deep that I can’t pull them out. Not this time.
Crouched, I let it all out with a roar that burns my lungs.