Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Arkin
I don’t like college. The people here are not nice, and I’m too different, but my psychologist assured me that I was ready and that it was in my best interest to be around other people. The world is a big, scary place.
I miss my siblings. They’re in a good place now, and happy, which is all that matters. Still, I miss them and feel responsible for their well-being. It used to tear me up inside when our uncle would hurt them. Back then, I felt so helpless and alone.
My breaths grow shallow as I lean up against the wall in the busy hallway. They’re safe, I think, readjusting my bag. I saved them.
I breathe in and out, fighting off the dizzying panic. Maybe I should have been honest with my psychologist and told her I didn’t feel ready for college. But no, I need to stay strong for them. I’m finally free and not chained up in that house, or stuck in a group home. I’m free. I can come and go as I please. Maybe one day, my siblings can stay with me, but that won’t happen unless I show their caseworker and the court that I’m capable. This is where I need to be for that to happen.
A different voice slithers into my head, one I have come to dread. I shake my head before dropping my bag to the floor and digging my palms into my eyes.
The reeking dog food slides from the can into the bowl at my feet with a wet plop. Uncle Chester crouches in his creased boxers and slides it closer with one of his sick smiles. “Here, doggy, doggy. Dinner is served.”
I’ve been handcuffed to the radiator for three days. Before that, I was down in the basement with my sister.
His wife cackles in the doorway, cigarette dangling from her bottom lip. “You know he thinks he’s too good to eat that.”
“Not if he’s hungry enough,” Chester says, showcasing his smoke-stained teeth. “He’ll soon gobble it up like it’s fine dining. Ain’t that right?” He pats my cheek with his meaty fingers, and I jerk my face away.
It pisses him off.
He backhands me hard before tipping the bowl’s content over my head. Big, wet clumps slide down the sides of my face, but he’s not happy until he’s squished it all into my mouth and nose with his sweaty hand. “Fucking prick. You should have died with my useless brother.”
His wife laughs, her silk robe exposing parts of her left breast as she chokes on the smoke. When she spots me looking, she flashes me her tits and says, “You like them, kid?”
Chester scoffs, glancing at her over his shoulder. “You know he doesn’t. He likes dicks.”
“You don’t know shit,” Jane grumbles before she takes another restless, deep drag. She walks closer, her robe falling open to reveal her pale body. “You like tits, don’t you, boy?”
I look away while they laugh. Chester grabs my chin. “The lady is talkin’ to you.”
I pull free again, earning a hard whack, and I try not to cry.
“Ungrateful shit,” he mutters, standing up. “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind, son? You’re glaring at me. You must have some mean thoughts, huh?” He nudges my crotch with his bare foot. I try to scoot away as they laugh. “Why don’t you tell us all about your thoughts.”
My head shakes. I’ve scooted as far away as the handcuff lets me. There’s nowhere else to go. I try to turn away, but my uncle frees his dick which has me facing him again. I know what happens if I try to hide—he pisses on me.
“Talk,” he orders, giving his limp cock a tug before he puts it away. “You have something to say?”
I keep my mouth shut, shaking my head.
Dissatisfied, he roars “TALK!” at the top of his lungs, and my heart flies to my throat.
Jane stubs out the cigarette on the table littered with empty pizza boxes and beer cans. “The boy won’t talk.”
“I’ll make him talk.”
She just shakes her head. “Good luck with that.”
Eyes narrowed, Chester lowers onto his haunches. “Well,” he whispers after studying me for a while. “Seems like our little nephew wants to play games.” He leans closer. “Guess what. I like games.”
The sinister tone in his voice has shivers sheathing my skin.
Without taking his eyes off me, he says to Jane, “Fuck him.”
She looks from her husband to me and then laughs. “Are you kidding me? He reeks of dog food. I’m not fucking him.”
Chester’s cold eyes turn hard as stone. He rises to his feet. “What did you say?”
Jane, used to her husband’s erratic moods and explosive temper, rolls her eyes. “I’m not fucking your nephew while he’s covered in the out-of-date dog food. That’s gross.”
“Oh,” he laughs mockingly. “I’m so sorry, Your Highness.” Then he walks over to the sink, roots through the cupboards for a large bowl, and fills it with water. Moments later, he stomps back over and dumps the ice-cold contents over me. “Now he’s clean.”
I shiver, teeth chattering as Jane inspects her chipped nail polish. Chester grabs her by the back of the neck, making her squeak. “You’re gonna ride the little prick’s dick, and if he makes a single noise, I’ll pay his precious little sister a visit in the basement.” He turns those cruel eyes on me. “You refuse to talk. Fine. If you ever make a noise again, even as much as a little fucking squeak, I will hurt them both, got it?”
Then he shoves his wife toward me, and she stumbles on top of me, her dressing gown splaying open to reveal her pale breasts.
I break out in a cold sweat. Chester opens the fridge to retrieve a beer and then barks at Jane, “What are you waiting for?”
“You’re a knobhead,” she grumbles at him as she yanks my soaked joggers down my legs.
“Stop fucking whining, woman.” He swigs his beer. “Make a man of the boy.”
Those dark eyes gleam as they land on me. “If you don’t get hard, I’ll make you listen to your sister scream all night before I hurt your brother.”
I’m lost in the bad memories, fighting an impending panic attack, when someone throws a ball at my face.
Jones, the rugby player, grins mockingly.
“Boohoo. Are you crying?” he taunts, laughing with his friends. But the words have barely left his mouth when Zach pushes through the crowd, eyes burning with hatred.
He grabs his jacket and slams him up against the wall. “Stay the fuck away from him!”
“Oh, what have we got here,” Jones says, hiding his unease behind a forced laugh. “You his boyfriend or something?”
Zach gets up in his face, a manic look in his eyes, one I’ve never seen before. “If you ever so much as look in his direction again, I’ll bury you.”
One of Zach’s friends puts his hands on his tense shoulder, whispering something about an audience and cameras. Zach jerks free, then bares his teeth at Jones.
I hate myself for quivering. After everything that’s happened, I want to be brave, but ever since I left that house and witnessed the look on my siblings’ faces when the court separated us, I just… I’m not brave anymore. I’m… scared.
Zach seems to remember about me then, and his brown eyes connect with mine. For a brief moment, they soften, but then Jones whispers something that makes Zach stiffen.
Tearing his gaze away, Zach punches Jones in the nose, nailing him two more times before his friends haul him off.
Jones clutches his bloodied nose. “You’re fucking toast, Beckett.”
A wicked grin spreads across Zach’s face. He’s panting hard, knuckles bloodied as he jerks free from his friends’ hold on him. “Come for me, Jones. I fucking dare you.”
“This isn’t over.” With a scoff and a final seething look at me, Jones storms off, shouldering through the gathered crowds.
“Shows over,” Harrison barks to our onlookers, who slowly disperse.
Zach watches me warily before telling his friends that he’ll catch up to them soon. As they walk away, he flexes his bloodied knuckles, a humorless chuckle shaking his shoulders. “He’s such a fucking prick.”
I don’t want to go to class anymore. I don’t want to be here at all.
Zach lifts his gaze, strands of brown hair teasing his brow. “Are you okay?”
I struggle to look at him, nibbling on my lip. The pit in my stomach curdles with shame as he inches closer. It was never supposed to be like this. I never wanted him to see how weak I am. All this time, I hid this side of me because I had to. If I didn’t keep quiet and hide my tears, it was used as a weapon against me. But Zachary, beautiful, perfect Zachary, doesn’t need words because he reads me like an open book.
“Hey,” he whispers, glancing around to ensure no one is overhearing. “Jones is no one, alright. He won’t hurt you again.”
He spoke up this time. I nibble my lip as warmth spreads throughout my chest. Jones has taunted me from the first moment I started at this college. Not a day has passed without his snide comments and shoves, but none of that bothered me as much as Zach’s indifference.
How he walked by like he didn’t care.
That’s why I fucked his girlfriend. Because I wanted to hurt him back. I wanted him to see me. And when he finally did… it was everything.
Like a thousand suns burning me up from the inside.
Zachary Beckett is mine. Not hers.
“Do you want to go somewhere?” he asks, standing too close to be considered friendly, but he doesn’t move back.
I nod shyly. I’d go anywhere with you.
“Yeah?” he smiles brightly.
Zachary is the most beautiful man I’ve seen. When he smiles, the world becomes a little less ugly, and the grimy kitchen of my uncle’s house seems a little farther away.
“Come on,” he says, picking up my bag and walking off. “Let’s get out of here.”
What about class? I want to ask, but he’s already gone.
As we exit the building, he jogs ahead while I admire his fluid movements. He grins at me over his shoulder, the mild breeze shifting the curls of his dark hair. But all I can think about is how incredible he looks as we cross the parking lot.
When we’re seated in his car, I reach for his hand.
You shouldn’t have hit him, Zach.
His bloodied knuckles look sore, and when I brush my thumb over the shredded skin, he winces slightly. I can’t believe he punched that guy without a second thought. It was sort of sexy. Okay… it was very sexy, but that’s beside the point. Violence is not the answer.
What will happen now? Is he going to get into trouble because of me? I don’t want that.
Zach allows me to hold his hand for only two seconds before taking it back. As he turns the ignition, the engine roars to life, and he revs it with a small smirk.
I have so many things I want to say to Zach, but I don’t know how. So, I’m content to listen to him talk. With a press of a button, the passenger window rolls down, and Zach smiles at me as we join the traffic.
The warm breeze does little to cool me down, but I like how it feels on my damp skin. I also like how it moves Zach’s hair around his face. I like a lot of things about him, especially that he smiles a lot. He has these deep dimples that pop. And beautiful eyes. And sexy hair, especially the curls around his ears.
He always looks like he rolled out of bed, but it suits him.
I also like his hands. They’re big and veiny, with long fingers that feel amazing on my cock.
Struck by the sudden urge to sniff him, I lean across the seat and bury my nose in his neck. Surprised, Zach pauses mid-sentence, and when I place my hand on his thigh, he makes a delicious sound at the back of his throat.
No one smells as nice as Zach. The sea breeze clings to him, and if I press my nose to the spot below his ear, I can practically smell the waves crashing onto the shore.
I know what you’re thinking. Arkin, no one smells of the ocean, the forest, or the morning mist. You’re right. So, Zach doesn’t actually smell like the ocean, but that’s what he reminds me of. Water is vastness and freedom, and Zach is my ocean.
After breathing him one final time, I sit back and adjust my growing erection. I never liked touch until him, my tide.
As he grips the steering wheel, all I can think about are those veiny, tanned hands on my body and how good it would feel to have him touch me.
“God, I fucking hate him,” Zach growls, spinning the wheel. “I should have beat him up more. The fucker deserved it.” He frowns at me. “Are you sure you’re okay? He didn’t touch you, did he?”
Before I can answer, he puffs out his cheeks and then checks the mirrors. “If he did, I’m turning around.”
I want to touch him. Maybe if I touch him, he’ll calm down.
My ocean is tense and angry. Waves crashing and raging against weathered cliffs.
If only I could make him smile again.
“That’s just so fucking typical of him to do something like that?—”
His words die off as I palm his crotch. Zach’s throat bobs on a swallow, his cock swelling rapidly beneath my touch.
Quiet. No more talking.
“Arkin,” he says, slight panic in his voice as I pop the button.
Ignoring his weak protests, I unzip his jeans, reaching into his briefs to touch his big cock. The moment my fingers wrap around his silken skin, he makes a strangled noise. “Arkin,” he says again, his voice breathy.
As I begin to stroke him, he desperately checks the windows to ensure no one can see in. Me? I’m fixated on the way his hips rise to meet my strokes. The world could end, but nothing could stop me from making Zachary Beckett come.
“Anyone could see,” he protests as I unclip my seatbelt.
Relax, pretty boy. Let me take care of you.
“What the—” he chokes as I lean down to suck his delicious cock into my mouth. “Ark?—”
He’s so big he barely fits between my lips.
“Holy shit,” he hisses, fisting my hair. “Motherfucking, fuck.”
His garbled words almost make me chuckle. I’m bobbing on his length, bringing him right to the edge, loving his filthy little groans. Then, as his chest pumps, I swirl my tongue over the weeping crown.
“Baby… You suck me so good. I can’t….” He shudders, strangling the steering wheel in his iron grip. “I’m gonna come soon.”
Tears spring to my eyes as I swallow around his length. It constricts around him, and he lets out another string of curses, then bangs the back of his head against the headrest, which would make me chuckle if I wasn’t currently choking on his cock. We stop at a red light and Zach hisses through his teeth. But then he freezes, and a breathy, panicked “oh fuck” escapes his lips.
Curious, I lift my head to see what’s caught his attention, but he shoves me down, sliding farther down the seat to avoid detection.
“Stay out of sight,” he demands. “That’s Father O’Brian in the car next to ours. Holy fuck, this isn’t happening.”
A silent chuckle vibrates my chest.
Zach shuts his eyes briefly. “It’s not funny, man. This is bad, Arkin. My parents attend his church.”
Bad indeed. More quiet laughter. I trace an angry vein with my tongue, which makes Zach squirm and tug my hair. It almost looks like he’s in pain.
“Come on, come on. Turn green, dammit,” he mumbles at the lights.
Amused, I blow him with renewed zest, and Zach chokes out a strangled sound. The light turns green, so he slams his foot down on the accelerator with a relieved sigh, as more pre-cum leaks into my mouth.
I hum my approval and suck him harder.
Minutes later, Zach pulls over by the side of the road. His heavy eyes are no longer on the cars zipping by outside—they’re on me.
Panting, he begins to thrust into my mouth, so I let him take charge and use me for his pleasure, my drool soaking his cock.
“Goddammit, Arkin. You want me to come in your mouth?”
I nod fervently. Hell yes, I want to taste him.
“Your tongue feels so good on my dick.” He slaps one hand onto the handle on the roof and grabs hold of the passenger seat’s headrest with the other. “Jesus… Suck me harder.”
I comply with a groan, and Zach’s thrusts grow more erratic. Frantic almost.
“I’m so close. So fucking close. That feels… yes!” A sharp hiss. He quivers, fisting my hair again. “I’m coming. Oh, fuck, I’m coming.”
Pulses of cum shoot into my mouth, taking me by surprise despite the warning, and I stiffen for a brief second before swallowing down the salty goodness.
Zach trembles, his brow damp with sweat. “That was…” he drifts off with a chuckle, still holding onto the handlebar and headrest. But then his hands fall away, and he plays with my hair.
I slip off his cock with a wet pop and then sit back with a mischievous grin. I take in our surroundings. We’re parked beside a field, a tractor plowing in the distance.
Zach zips himself away. A few moments pass while the car idles at the side of the road. He reaches over to touch my jaw, the backs of his fingers stroking over the sharp stubble. I glance at him, his taste lingering on my tongue. My ocean is smiling again.
“The priest, Arkin.” He drops his hand with a laugh and eases back. “Do you know how much shit we would have been in if he’d seen us?” More laughter. Zach shakes his head and digs his palms into his eyes.
I watch, mesmerized by the dimples in his cheeks and the shake in his shoulders. When he peers at me again, residual laughter shakes his frame, and his eyes sparkle.
He leans in and says in a teasing tone, “You’re trouble.”
You have no idea, Zachary Beckett.
He’s still smiling brighter than the sun outside. Brighter than the stars and the galaxies. I kiss him, and his breath catches in his throat, but then he palms the back of my neck and deepens the kiss.
Our tongues brush in a maddening dance. Zach retreats to unzip his seatbelt, and then he’s back, crushing his lips to mine.
He breaks away, panting hard, eyes heavy with lust. “Say my name again, Arkin.”
There’s a golf ball in my throat. Zach notices my sudden nerves and moves in to kiss me again, but I break away.
A car drives past outside. The tractor has turned at the end of the field and is heading back our way, disturbing a flock of rooks that take flight before landing in the freshly disturbed soil to forage for worms.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to,” Zach says. He tries to kiss me again, and I let him for a few precious moments, but my heart hurts because I want to make him happy.
I pull away, but before I can catch my breath, Zach says, “Look at me, Arkin. It’s okay.”
It’s not okay. I gave my voice away to a monster, and now I want it back. But it’s not that easy.
“You refuse to talk. Fine. If you ever make a noise again, I will hurt them both, got it?”
I soon learned not to talk in that house because the people I loved would get hurt if I did. My uncle made sure of that. Sometimes, he beat them to see if he could make me break. And when I did, he hurt them even more.
But Zachary.
Zachary is good.
He’s my ocean.
“It’s okay,” he whispers again. He brushes his nose against mine and guides me back against the car door, the window at my back as he unbuttons my shirt. “You’re so perfect.” His lips descend on my chest, warm and wet. “So beautiful!”
I drop my head back, threading my fingers through his silky hair, trussing up the short strands. Zach swirls his tongue over my nipples with a soft hum before his fingers find my jeans button.
It flicks open, and he swiftly undoes the rest. Another car zips by, rocking the vehicle, while he works my jeans and briefs down far enough to free my length. It pops out, long and hard, against my abs.
Angry, blue veins paint a roadmap to the weeping head where a creamy pearl of cum has gathered. He grabs hold of my throbbing length and gives it a firm pump, his thumb swiping through the pre-cum. “It’s my turn to make you feel good, Ark. Just relax.”
Two more pumps.
I thrust into his big hand. Touch me just like that.
“Is this cock mine?” he asks. He slides his hand along my length from root to tip and back before squeezing the head in an inherently possessive way. “Tell me it’s mine, Ark.”
Nibbling my lip, I nod eagerly. My cock is yours.
It’s almost embarrassing how hard I’m panting. Even the windows have started fogging up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening inside this vehicle.
If a police car drives past, they’ll pull over to investigate.
The thought sends a thrill to my balls.
He strokes me again. “You won’t let someone else touch it, will you?”
My head shakes, and he smiles, the sight alone arousing me almost more than his hand on my cock. He’s pleased, and I like that.
“Good,” he says. “I don’t share, Ark.”
I like that he calls me ‘Ark.’
His strokes pick up the pace, no longer slow and unhurried, as if his sole mission is to drive me insane.
Now, he touches me like he owns me.
“I wish I could flip you over and fuck you,” he says on an upwards stroke. “Claim you out here in the open.”
More pre-cum seeps onto his large hand. Zach leans in to nibble and lick my bottom lip. “The more I think about it, the more I think I would have liked it if the priest watched you suck me.”
My balls thump. Hard.
“You like the thought of it too,” he says, referring to how hard my cock is growing.
Another nod, followed by a long, deep groan.
“That’s it, baby. Look at me when I’m touching you.”
I couldn’t look away from his darkening eyes if I wanted to. Zach feasts on me with that hungry gaze, like I’m an injured animal in a bear trap. He never once looked at Amy that way—I know because I spent too many hours observing them.
“You like that, don’t you?” he whispers, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip. “Come for me, Ark.”
The windows have fogged up even more. Zach jerks me without ever letting his heavy eyes leave mine, not for a split second.
“Come for me,” he says again. “Come all over us.”
The pleasure builds and mounts until I’m quivering beneath him, my exposed chest damp with sweat. I grunt, lost in Zach’s seductive gaze, and then my cock erupts, pulsing thick ropes of cum between us.
A husky moan rips from my chest, and Zach’s lips spread into a wicked, filthy smile.
“You never come this hard for anyone else, do you, baby?”
Another hot squirt of cum sprays between us. I shake my head, arching my back with a groan while he steals my soul with wicked strokes designed to wring me dry.
Only you.
When I finally slump, Zach looks down at my chest, at the milky cum. It’s on his T-shirt too, but he doesn’t seem to care.
He drags his tongue through the wet patches on my chest, his hot breath heating my skin. “You taste so good, Ark. Like the best kind of snack.”
His eyes gleam with a sinful sparkle as he makes a show of swirling his tongue through a pool of cum. He scoops his fingers through it and dips them into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat. When I gag, he says, “You’re so damn sexy. God, I just want to fuck you up.”
My mouth fills with drool, an erotic string of saliva connecting my bottom lip to Zach’s wet fingers as he finally pulls them out.
He grips my stubbly chin with his damp digits and kisses me long and hard, exploring my mouth with greedy sweeps of his tongue before he sits back and turns the ignition.
“Get dressed,” he says. “I’m taking you somewhere.”