Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
S everal more months pass.
I place the box down in the corner of the room, where two stacks wait to be unpacked. It’s the biggest bedroom in the house.
Harrison, the fucker, insisted I should have it because I haven’t gotten laid in a while, and this—according to him—is now my ‘shag pad.’
I look around at the sparse furniture.
A brand-new mattress rests on the floor, propped against the wall where I’ll eventually set it up. A single window, void of blackout curtains, lets in pale light, highlighting the gray carpet. The closet door hangs slightly ajar, empty except for a lone hanger left behind by the previous tenant. The room (and the house) isn’t much to look at, but it’s my first time living away from home. I’m excited to have my own space.
This September, my friends and I will be attending university together. It was cheaper to rent a house than live on campus—a short drive away.
“This should be the last of them,” Dad says as he enters behind me with a box. Mum isn’t far behind, evading Ryan’s innocent flirtations. The guy is like a dog with a bone when women are around. Not even my mum is safe from his wagging tail. What a gross analogy.
Setting it down with the other boxes, Dad straightens up, eyes misty with tears. He’s been a stoic man of few words my whole life, but now he looks at me with pride, and it’s fucking me up inside. To my shock, he pulls me in for a hug and claps me on the back. “Proud of you, son.”
Mum wrings her hands in the doorway, her cheeks wet with tears.
When Dad finally releases me, I try to lighten the mood. “It’s only an hour away. You’ll get sick of seeing me soon.”
“The house will be so quiet without you,” Mum says, her chin wobbling.
Neriah slides past her in the doorway and looks around my room. “Is this it? I thought it’d be bigger.” Her nose crinkles in disgust, but then she smiles and throws her arms around me. “I’m only messing with you. It’s perfect.”
Now I’m the one with burning eyes. I guess, for siblings, we’ve always been close, but over the last year, we’ve become friends. I have a lot of respect for my sister because if it weren’t for her and her silent support on days when life kicked me in the arse, I don’t know what I would have done.
She was the only one I could talk to about Arkin—truly talk. Harrison and Ryan are good friends of mine, but there are things I don’t feel comfortable sharing with them, like all the mushy shit Arkin made me feel—things I haven’t felt before. While they knew I struggled there for a while, I wasn’t going to break down in tears in front of them. Call it toxic masculinity, if you will, but there are things I don’t want to discuss with other guys.
“Kick arse while you’re here,” my sister says, squeezing me before she steps back.
“You’ll be here next year too.” I ruffle her hair, and she bats me off like she always does.
“Presumptuous of you to think I’ll attend the same university as you.”
I chuckle, appreciating the mischievous glint in her eyes. Neriah is due to apply for university by January, but she’s debating her options. Still, I selfishly hope she’ll apply for this one because I want her nearby where I can keep an eye on her.
Next, Mum steps up for a hug, and for long moments, she squeezes me like she thinks I’ll evaporate into a fine mist if she lets go.
“Mum,” I choke out after a while. “I can’t breathe.”
That makes her laugh lightly and release me. Palming my face, she smiles at me through her tears, her thumbs stroking my cheeks in a loving, nurturing gesture. “Oh, Zachary. I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. My firstborn is off to university. It only feels like I gave birth to you yesterday, and look at you now.”
Neriah sniggers behind Mum’s back, and I feel my own lips twitch. Luckily, I manage to hold back my laugh. Mothers will be mothers, I guess.
An hour later, after they helped me put the bed together, Dad finally convinced my mum to head back home.
As they drive down the road, I return to the house, checking my phone.
Ryan and Harrison wasted no time installing the Xbox in the living room when they arrived. Sprawled on the couches, they shoot at the opponents between reloading their weapons.
When I enter the room, Ryan asks me if I want to join, but I shake my head.
Sinking down on the nearest armchair, my thoughts drift as I watch them game. It’s good to be here with my friends. I’ve needed a new start for a long time now. A new environment. Somewhere that doesn’t remind me of Arkin.
The worst part of losing him is how suddenly it happened. He doesn’t have social media—trust me, I’ve checked—so it’s almost like he never existed.
One moment, he was in my arms. Then the next, he was ripped from me. Just like that. Gone in a flash.
For the brief moment he was mine, I got to experience something I never thought I would.
There’s no doubt in my mind about my feelings for Arkin. I was in love with him. Fuck, I still am. But now I’m ruined for everyone else.
Once or twice, I’ve tried to hook up with other guys, but I either fail to get hard, or I freak out and run away, which is mortifying. No one wants that reputation.
I fucked a girl once, but it was the same thing. I could barely maintain a boner, and in the end, after she was done screaming the place down, I pretended to come.
While I consider myself bisexual, I’m not so sure anymore. What does it matter anyway? My brief time with Arkin made me “Arkin-sexual.” That’s what I’m going to identify as moving forward.
But no, let’s be real for a second—this is my new start. This is my year to finally move on. To come to peace with the fact that Arkin isn’t coming back. To have fun and maybe fall in love with someone else.
In the midst of my musings, Harrison lands a headshot and fist bumps the air.
When him and Ryan exchange an odd look before glancing at me, I pause. “What?”
“Nothing,” Harrison says, quitting out of the game and checking the time on his phone. “It’s getting dark out, we should get a bite to eat.”
Ryan tosses the controller aside and then stands up. “That’s the best idea you’ve had all day. What about that American roadside diner we saw on our way here?”
“That’s a thirty-minute drive down the motorway. Can we not just order in? I’m knackered,” I tell them.
Another shared glance between them. Harrison smirks, and Ryan leaves the room.
“What was that?” I ask.
“What was what?” Harrison shoots back, responding to a text message.
“The odd looks between you two tonight.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Whatever,” I mumble. “If you guys want to head out for food, go ahead. I’ll order something from UberEATS tonight.”
Harrison finishes typing on his phone, then pockets it with a frown. “What are you talking about? It’s our first night in our own place, bro. You’re not staying in by yourself.”
“Look, it’s been a long day. I’m not driving thirty minutes to eat. Maybe another night.”
“You’re bailing on us on our first night?”
“It’s just one night. I need to unpack some of my shit and?—”
Something is placed over my head, and then I’m tackled to the ground. Shocked, I flail, kicking and grappling at whatever is within reach.
“Ryan, what the hell, man? What are you doing?” Harrison asks, surprised.
I punch something. One of them grunts. They’re both on top of me now.
“He won’t come willingly.”
“So you’re kidnapping him?” Harrison sounds like he wants to laugh but he’s concerned too.
“What the fuck is happening?” I roar. “What are you doing?”
Someone ties my hands behind my back and hauls me to my feet. “You’re coming with us.”
Despite my pounding heartbeat, I roll my eyes as Ryan drags me out of the room. “I didn’t think we’d do our own hazing.”
“Just go along with it, Beckett.”
“Is this what it’s going to be like every time I don’t want to come along for a takeaway or a party?”
The cool air surrounds us as we exit the house. I stumble down the drive, dragged forward by Ryan on one side and Harrison on the other.
“Pretty much,” Ryan says, opening the car door. “No more moping around, Beckett. You’re coming with us, and that’s that.”
“Bossy fucker,” I mutter as he deposits me in the backseat. “Why don’t you go ahead and put me in the boot while you’re at it?”
“Don’t tempt me.” He straps me in, then shuts the car door.
Seconds later, they slide into the front seats.
The engine growls to life, and the car rocks as the person behind the wheel reverses out of the driveway.
“Seriously, there’s no need for all this. I’m in the car. Pull over and untie me. It’s not like I’m going to run away.”
“Fuck that. I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun,” Ryan says around a chuckle. “You should see how funny you look.” The soft rustling of him shifting reaches my ears. “Smile for the camera.”
“He’ll kill you,” Harrison informs him. “You know that, right.”
“He can always try. Besides, what other choice did we have, hmm? He refused to come with us.”
“Not kidnap me,” I interject. “If I knew my own friends were going to put a sack over my head and tie me up on our first day of living together, I would have paid extra for the dorm room.”
“See,” Ryan says to Harrison. “He’s completely unreasonable.”
Harrison’s quiet laughter reaches me in the back. “You have to admit, Zach, it’s kind of funny.”
“U-huh, sure. Super funny. I’m laughing my fucking nuts off. Next time it’ll be you we kidnap.”
Their boisterous laughter fills the car, and I hear them smack hands. “Operation kidnap Zach is complete,” Ryan says, his words followed by a tinny voice. I guess he’s on the phone with someone. “We tried, but he refused to come with us. I had no other choice, or he would have stayed behind to do a pedicure. Desperate times require desperate measures, pet. You know how it is.”
More of the tinny voice. Whoever it is sounds upset.
“We’re about half an hour out. The key is beneath the plant pot.” He laughs at something the other person says, then hangs up.
“What are you up to?” I ask, my voice laced with suspicion.
Ryan ignores me as he addresses Harrison. “We should have put him in the boot. He asks too many questions.”
“Mate, this isn’t a spy mission.”
“How you get laid is beyond me. You’re so fucking boring sometimes.”
“Guys,” I snap. “Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”
“Okay, maybe we should have put him in the boot,” Harrison agrees. “It’s not too late.”
“Want me to keep an eye out for a service station where we can pull over?”
“Preferably one with a Greggs. I’m dying for a sausage roll right about now.”
Groaning, I drop my head back against the headrest. What the fuck are they up to? When they finally free me, I’m going to knock them both the fuck out. “So much for the roadside diner, eh? Why don’t you tell me what’s actually going on?”
Harrison snorts “Our friend is asking too many questions—that’s what’s going on.”
We drive in silence for a while until I murmur, “Not sure we’ll be friends after this.”
For some reason, instead of annoying them like I’d hoped, my words crack them up.
“Trust me,” Ryan says, his voice too fucking cheerful. “You’ll love us after this.”
Now it’s my time to scoff. I’m sweaty beneath the thing on my head, whatever it is.
The minutes pass by painfully slow. Losing track of time, I let my mind wander.
I know they’re up to something, but what? We’ve been friends since primary, maybe even nursery, and never have they kidnapped me before. Ryan threatened to do it a few weeks back when I turned down another party, but he let me wallow in my own misery, with the parting words, “This stops when we move.”
Eventually, the road surface shifts, the car rocking gently on the uneven ground as the guys discuss the satnav’s directions. With my vision impaired, I’m even more acutely aware of the vehicle’s subtle movements.
Now I’m not angry anymore—now I’m intrigued instead. They clearly aren’t sure where to go.
“The directions on the website were vague. It was the correct turn off, right?”
“Yes, it was. What else did it say?”
“Follow this road.”
“It’s barely a road.”
“Tell me about it.”
A few more seconds of silence. Then Ryan pipes up excitedly, “There! I think that’s it.”
“What, here?” Harrison sounds confused.
“Pull over. I bet this is it. We came here for a school trip once, remember?”
“Can’t say I do. When was it?”
“In Year Two, I think. We had that teaching assistant with the hairy chin. What was her name?” Ryan asks.
“Mrs. O’Dell. She reeked of baby powder and had the most rank coffee breath.”
They chuckle as Harrison parks the car. Something rustles again—Ryan turning in his seat, most likely. “We’re here, princess,” he says, his voice amused at my predicament. “Time to wake up.”
“I am awake, you twat.”
“Ooh, the claws are out.” He opens the car door and exits the vehicle, a breeze of cool air drifting into the back where I’m waiting.
Breathing in the distinct scent of pinecones and late evening, I feel my heart beat harder in response to the familiar smell.
“Come on,” Ryan says as he opens the door to let me out of the car.